Sincerity

Story of my life right here

Sorry? I don't use any other forums.

@Swarnim Very nice!

Ohhhh that's a good one! How could we forget haha.

Hey everyone. Grateful to be a part of the staff. I promise to fulfill the duty responsibly! Oh we will!

I agree The greater the surrender, the better. But it's hard to take.

Thanks! Hmm. You're right with this point, I kind of forgot about this. My idea was that sometimes shutting off contemplation and sitting in silence is necessary. By which I mean that contemplation is not a substitute for meditation. Self-deception would be thinking that it is. The truth is I like deep contemplation a lot and it comes very easily to me, but rigorous meditation not so much, and so I caught myself deceiving myself that contemplation is enough. Still don't have this God damn meditation habit, but contemplating for 2-4 hours is a piece of cake. How am I gonna realize my Nature and integrate it into my life like this? I didn't phrase it in the best way.

Cool initiative! I'm on board. Here's my personal list. I've experienced these at some point in my life. Some of them might be already behind me, I don't know. Not taking action on my career work unless I'm sure this is 100% the right thing for me Waiting for something to happen, to break me out of my lethargy Distraction (!!!!!) Romanticizing being attached, loving in a limited way Nihilism-induced passivity Attributing universal meaning to events, calling it fate or something Claiming possession of awakenings Feeling like I'm special in this specific form because "I am God" Rationalizing my questionable actions Romanticizing the past Comparing myself to others, especially Leo Endless contemplation with little action Claiming possession of intuitions and insights which weren't actually created by "me" Oh yeah, "me" Waiting for the next psychedelic trip Lack of execution and inaction in general Thinking that my insights and models actually represent reality Belief that no one could truly love me romantically, for who I am Trying to be right in an argument Trying to maintain the image of being impartial, rational and correct in my analyses The belief that anything I do has any true meaning or purpose The belief that anything matters here Fear in general (!!!!), fear of death, fighting for survival even though everything would be okay nevertheless Shame in general (!!!!), being averse towards accepting things as me, cringing Being cold towards those in need sometimes, fear of being exploited, not seeing myself in them Obsession with the forum, addiction Judging others Lying in arguments (even subtly) Dishonest, close-minded shaming in arguments --> "You can't really believe in X. Seriously?" Closemindedness towards perspectives Thinking I'm so advanced and wiser than others No matter how productive I am during the day, it will never be enough Thinking that by contemplating I'm raising my consciousness, but actually I'm just lost in thought and concepts Wrongly interpreting experience, especially on psychedelics Actually, interpretation in general - it's just me building my conceptual castle The assumption that I can't really fuck up my life permanently - dangerous naivety The assumption that everything will turn out okay even if I don't take action and build anything stable Being too passive and not fixing stuff that bites me in the ass, learned helplessness Hating and cursing my father in my mind, hating anyone in general The belief that I am entitled to awakening and I am somehow held back by God (haha) The belief that I am entitled to anything in life, even respect, safety, food and water, health Thinking that I have some relation to Leo, unhealthy obsession Addiction to social media, watching all the dumb shit there and believing it's normal, it has any value, it's wise in any way Compulsive need to do something instead of not doing anything, perceiving not-doing as bad Forgetting that I will die Believing that I will die (haha) Desire for affection from certain people, especially women, which really distorts my vision and floods my thoughts Creating fantasy scenarios and getting stuck in them for a long time, living in fantasy Thinking that my solutions in life will work for others as well Giving answers and solutions even when no one asks for them, being the fixer and the wise guy I'm tired so I'm going to stop here. ?‍♂️ Might edit in the rest later.

@Federico del pueblo I don't think You should expect emotions and altered states from your first session. I'd tell You to maybe at least try 30 minutes one or two more times and then go for more. There's no rush. Be gentle and don't overwhelm yourself. This is my advice. Take notice of what is happening in your mind and body and adjust the technique appropriately, using your intuition. It's like with working out at the gym - do it wisely, don't overstrain yourself and don't expect big gains right away.

I know You're expecting Leo's response but I hope others' answers are okay too. By confronting fear and experiencing rejection openly You realize that actually rejection is okay and there is nothing to be scared of. The feeling of overcoming fear and coming out the other side is exhilarating. You gain confidence because when You overcome your fears You realize that You can do all those things that were previously impossible for You. You can be rejected and You're gonna still be fine. This is what confidence is - a feeling of self-assurance arising from a recognition and appreciation of one's own capacities, abilities, qualities (definition from Google).

We know the topic is controversial, but please keep your posts respectful towards each other.

Glad You got through all that. It's inspiring! Best of luck with the rest of your path. ?‍♂️

Guess I'm a mod now. I think being a mod is going to be a great learning opportunity for me. I have to watch myself more diligently now. I'm held to a higher standard, both by others and myself. I will be more responsible with my posting from now on. I will raise the quality of my posts and replies to others. And obviously I will strive to be as impartial and unbiased as I can with moderating this forum's content. I reserve my right to sometimes be a little immature and childish in this journal (only) simply because the truth is I am not yet totally mature and this journal is supposed to be my authentic expression. Repression of childishness is not going to help me become mature and thus I might express it here sometimes and learn from it, but with moderation of course and while NOT being negative towards any users. I want to become mature and I continually work on being better. Even though sometimes I'm simply overwhelmed by my stupidity and selfishness, I promise I am trying. I might edit or hide some of my previous posts that are TOO juvenile, unnecessary and setting a bad example. Again, all of this is a learning opportunity for me and I will make use of it as much as I can. I want to be an example for others. I'm certain I will handle all of this and live up to the challenge. Even if I make some mistakes, that's okay - I will simply correct myself and learn.

I only skimmed through the video. It was shitty. The comments are what got me.

The comments under this video are so sad lol. Are people really this stupid? The discrepancy between their perspective and mine feels surreal even. Or maybe I'm the brainwashed one?

It is its own purpose. You do it because You care about it. Or don't if You don't.

Yes it is. If You want You can check out my report from an LSD trip where it felt like I was seriously gonna die. Since this experience I've been having panic attacks associated with the fear of death. At the same time I've been working on acceptance, deconstructing what death is, confronting fear, etc. Eradicating fear of death is no simple thing. It'll probably take You decades to do that, many many trips and a fuckton of groundwork and integration. Alongside all that You will probably cry so many tears and suffer so much You can't even imagine it. Eventually You might reach Leo's levels of deconstruction and realize that there is literally no death. But this insight has sooo many layers I think. It's not just one realization that there is no death, not ten, maybe even a hundred isn't enough. It goes incredibly deep. Best of luck!

To discover Truth

Maybe so I did have a lot of insights into what is beauty recently. Long story short, I'd say that beauty is literally God. To appreciate is to see the beauty = see God in something. Anything can be seen as beautiful/God because everything is that. Reality is beautiful and so is any "one thing" in reality. And since an insight is a "penetrating mental vision or discernment" or "the sudden act of grasping the inner nature or truth of a situation" (definitions from Leo's blog), an insight is also a recognition of some beauty in reality. To grasp the inner nature or truth is to start seeing more clearly. And clearer seeing = higher recognition of God/beauty/truth, greater consciousness/genuine understanding. So yeah, I think the quality of an insight can be recognized by its perceived beauty. But obviously there's also room for self-deception there so one has gotta be careful. Superb advice man. Thanks! I'm so happy with all of your guys' perspectives and tips.

Nice! Maybe You should pin this post.

I see. The analogy to materialism is eye-opening. From what I notice, I cling to things too much in general. Thank You, I will work on integrating this advice. Oh, that's a good pointer! Thanks! Also, interesting idea with the symbol Might try that Hahahahah There is something really funny about uselessness/impracticality. I think it hides a truth in it. Maybe reality is actually completely useless, trivial and meaningless... and that's what makes it beautiful? Hmm, could be promising

My chatbot is a p*ssy and doesn't want to give a straight answer

Nice, that's good advice. I'm already mostly doing that. Insights like "mind colors everything", "thoughts are immersive", "responsibility is wisdom", "wish the Truth to everyone". Indeed, in simplicity there is power and beauty. Still, there are so many that it's difficult to manage

Nice! It's similar for me. Sometimes I even have profound insights and understanding in my dreams but I forget it when I wake up That's a great point. Thanks for the perspective!

?‍♂️ Who said working with psychedelics is enough to wake up? Call what enlightenment? Who said anything is a way to Freedom? Maybe I should clarify that by groundwork/embodiment I don't mean just integrating trips, but mainly doing stuff in everyday life, meditation, right living, mindfulness, contemplation, learning, surrender and letting go, etc. Steering others away from psychedelics is a disservice.