Sincerity

That’s what you think.

These guys and their objections were often painful to listen to. I was dying inside when hearing the „hmm this is basically my experience already” and „maybe I’m awake after all” points from the lady. And not even understanding that evil doesn’t exist, like come on. Well, it is what it is. Good conversation still. What matters is you guys had fun.

Well, listening to another is of second importance to listening to Yourself. At least for the purpose of introspection into the fundamental. The answers are within. I get that in a sense listening to another is absorption and yeah, you become more of what you listen to. So genuine listening to quality or some „enlightened masters” is a good idea. Still, the developing of the flower of You through careful attention is of greater importance. And besides, the relation you have to others is a direct reflection of the relation you have to yourself. So listening to oneself covers both, in a way. You cannot be a good listener to others if you’re deaf to yourself, and you will probably be a good listener to others if you listen to yourself.

Lol. Picking them up… from their cardboard box down the street.

I like this guy: I listened to him quite a lot over the summer. He makes me laugh a lot. Retardmaxxing 4ever. In a way, he's basic. But I know also that there's things to him that I'm missing. So I'm supplementing his energy every now and then. He's an inspiration.

Videos, graphics, books, quotes and other stuff. Things that resonated with me and inspired greater wisdom and understanding.

Vibin' to this lately. I noticed that these days I don't really have "bad days". Yesterday I was laying in bed most of the time, little energy to do anything. But it was okay. I accepted it and let it be. Then, closer to the evening, more energy arose to do things. I shaved, prepared food for the next few days, did my daily practice, cleaned up a bit. And today I was on fire - did my work, went to the gym, read a book, did my practice, talked to my dad over the phone for 40 mins (and it was nice!)... It's like the love that I am, broadened. I'm slightly more accepting of what arises. It's nice. I must simply follow energy where it is. Insistence on anything else is futile. And when energy is difficult to be heard, become silent.

It's funny. I just realized I've actually been practicing listening every day in the last 2 months. Exactly 61 days. I have a practice every day at 8PM. Basically I sit in silence and listen, and anytime a genuine voice "from the soul" arises (I don't know what else to call it) I write it down in a notebook. Then I go back into listening again. And so on and so forth, until I feel there's nothing more to be said. I call it Trips on the Couch. It came to me during an LSD trip.

I miss your most direct and advanced teachings. Especially for those who have had looks into God-realization, solipsism, Infinity of Gods. The things you post on the blog are amazing. Still though, I miss the deepest and most direct stuff. Like that which you planned to go over in the psychedelic course.

Nice post. Thanks. Listening is indeed essential, especially to Oneself. I was contemplating listening a while ago. I thought how LISTEN can actually be a better pointer towards awakening than LOOK. It’s powerful. My trips and meditations are essentially extreme listening sessions. Listening to Now, to Nothing, to Me. These pointers arise after listening to ???. The Krishnamurti quote is good too.

A practice that is believed to „be able to do it” is a permission slip to go in a wanted direction. An „excuse”. Something one believes is needed to do to change in some way.

AKA a permission slip

Last week I was on a 7-day trip to a coastal city I possibly want to move to starting May. The trip was a success. I averaged 17K+ steps per day and got to check out all the places I was interested in. There was a lot of beauty and I enjoyed myself. I have competing visions for what I want my life to be starting May. I’m not sure whether I want to rent just a room (to save more money) or a whole apartment for myself (ideally to go more monk-mode). There’s a lot of factors involved. Ultimately, I will just follow my intuition, but before that the goal has been to intake a lot of information and think things through as much as I can. The whole trip last week was about information intake - checking out the locations, understanding how I feel, imagining how daily life would actually look like for me there, etc. At times I was thinking about the relationship with my ex. Bad memories were coming up. I still have a love for that woman though. When I came back, we were fucking like rabbits. Yeah, we still have sex, but the decision to separate is not reversible at this point and we’re both aware of that. Still, the sex is amazing and we both enjoy it.

The comfort of truth you can always re-verify Solipsism is the case.* I’ve became conscious of it enough times to know it. It’s so beautiful when you don’t need to worry about defending a truth. Because you can always start with a beginner’s mind, and when you get to a truth again and again, then you know that you can trust it. It’s such a relief. „What if I’m deluding myself? How do I know X is true? Oh, wait… I don’t need to be attached to any belief. I can always start from scratch. And whatever will arise from my unprejudiced consciousness, that will be truth. I can relax. I am safe.” ——————— * But there’s more.

The selling is happening in each moment, and in each moment it can be ceased. At least for that moment. It's a matter of decision in the now.

That’s awesome! Thanks Leo.

Damn. @Hojo called it a week ago. The reasoning was faulty but the end conclusion (bot farming) was guessed right.

Because he’s basically known for just being a Youtuber now. I think having written great books could vastly increase his fame in the future. Especially in the far future, perhaps beyond our lifetime. Podcasts can raise his fame now.

This is nonsense.

Tired again today. But it’s fine. I visited my family today. It was boring. I anticipate I’ll do psychedelics more this year. I feel a calling. Exciting! The music’s played by the madmen.

But I do have the option to "switch" and be better. Yesterday I did quite a lot. I got my work for the day done. I spent ~3 hours on a course to raise my skills. I went to the gym. I meditated at 8PM like I always do. I had a stream of great insights regarding relationships and what I want, which I noted down. Before bed, I watched some career-related videos on YT, from genuine interest. I felt better after that, and I feel better today. I have a lot of energy to do things. Oh, and I finally called my parents to tell about the breakup. This released a big amount of energy in me, I was actually surprised by it. I'm inspired by Paul Graham's perspective on great work. I want to do great work. I want to be a professional creator in life.

I’m feeling down. I just want to lie on the bed. That’s not what’s happening - I’m actually doing quite a bit. Energy is flowing. But I don’t feel well mentally. I watched this crazy movie on Monday which is currently in theaters: Marty Supreme. I think I’ve never been so stressed while watching a movie lol. It was a fucking wild ride. The breakup is proceeding. We’re still living together until the end of April when our lease is finished. We’re on good terms. Pain is coming up. In two weeks, I’ll be travelling to live for a week in the city I plan to move to after April. I’ll be living in two different places, actually. All for the sake of testing the „vibe” there. Seeing what I like and dislike. It’s still a short time, but I sense it’s enough. I know that city a fair bit anyway - I’ve been there many times, even lived there as a child. I’m looking for a new job with better pay. That’s ongoing. Sometimes I don’t want to wake up in the morning.

Bruh, I thought it was about Vitaly as well. Carl obviously didn’t make the post clear if so many people misunderstood it. The other guy’s energy is quite light. Surely not „dense as fuck”. That was about Vitaly.

@riplo Just read your last post. You’re going great work man!!! I’ve also read the War of Art recently - over a long period of time, rereading many times, thinking about it a lot. It’s great that it’s inspiring you too. Cheers. You’re awesome man, don’t forget it.

I know it from experience, but don’t think about it most of the time. I can feel into it though. I am God.