Sincerity

I've been avoiding so long replying to this thread lol... but the above is just not the case. Or at least not what true solipsism is. There's no contrast of "my experience" and "other experience". It's experience, which is the one and only. EXPERIENCE. The end. There is no solipsism. Describing oneself as "a solipsist" is cretinic, perhaps even more so than not a solipsist. And yet solipsism is a good word. Or maybe Oneness or Aloneness would be a better one. Every time I see a solipsism thread I am reminded of this meme: But the text should be "Aww, sweet! A solipsism thread!"

I don't think it's really about the resources, but a genuine will with openness to change. A willingness to die, if you will. Desire alone is not enough, one also has to be open to fundamentally do things differently and be different, which really feels like dying. It's very uncommon for people to want to die. A drug addict will often squander any resources he's given. Whereas a person with a strong will and true openness to possibilities would most likely pull something out of nothing. When there's a TRUE will, there's a way. By true I mean willing to do ANYTHING. A country-level willingness to die is even more unlikely than a single person's I think.

Only the first season was good imo. The fourth one is especially shit. The quips, the understanding of politics and the "smart character" are done in such a stupid way that I can't help but roll my eyes. But I still look forward to seeing the scene of Butcher murdering Homelander in S5.

It seems @QandC 's comment hit a nerve with you. Good! Recognize this as the great opportunity that it is. This is proof where the crux of your ego lies right now. Seeing it is a crucial step to resolve your suffering. Don't neglect it - if you REALLY want to change something in your life, you HAVE to confront your deepest held beliefs. Your wish to "die and become God" indeed is misguided. I do empathize with it, because I had the same misunderstanding before. You believe you have to kill yourself to become one with "God". Well, don't you think that if you believe this is the way, you will be unconsciously directing yourself to suffering forever, like you've done up to this point? And don't you think that recognizing this belief as incorrect would be VERY hard for you, because you already spent so much time acting on it? And you'd feel like an idiot when you see that it was all for "nothing"? But it's NOT for nothing. THIS is the EXACT way to recognize the value of living and change attitude. Without going through this path, you aren't able to see it. So you don't have to feel stupid, truly. Going through such misunderstanding and suffering is the price for true insight and behaviour change. As I mentioned before, the way to end your suffering is to start to want to LIVE. The way to God is through active life, not through killing yourself. You think your current belief is leading you to God, but in fact it's spiraling you further to hell. I mean, look at your direction. You're only feeling worse. The way to God does NOT have to feel like that, but you believe it does because that's what you've been doing so far. You have to change course. And, importantly, you need to stop hoping for an ultimate awakening after all your suffering. It will not happen. This is an illusion. It is part of your wish to "die and become God" - you believe you have to kill yourself/suffer so that you can reach this idea of God, the "ultimate thing"... But maybe that "ultimate thing" was a delusion all along and you have to start living in reality. See what is in front of you. Maybe you could find something beautiful in that. Wouldn't that be a nice lesson after this journey of suffering you've taken?

Who the hell knows but you? All depends on what is resonating with you now. What you feel you want to internalize. Don't just read the most popular self-help books as recommended by other people. Look for what YOU want. It doesn't even have to be a self-help book, it can be something else (a biography, non fiction books, whatever). Use Google. "Books on clear communication". "Books on becoming more productive". "Biographies of successful inventors". You can use ChatGPT. "I want to become a clearer communicator. Recommend to me the best books for that." Or even better: just go to a bookstore, look through books and find what resonates.

"I like myself as a person" but "I hate being alive in this human life"... How about we get clearer on what it is that you hate, which is weaving your never-ending suffering. 1) Reality in front of you, experience --> No. I'm certain you don't give a fuck about what is actually happening - speaking from experience. All suffering is spun in the mind and it is always referring TO the mind. Your feelings are never actually referring to reality (good to contemplate). 2) A general idea of yourself as a person --> No. Alright. Ideas and fantasies are cool, but what about actual you? 3) A general idea of God --> No. Okay. What about actual God? 4) "This human life with its immense suffering" --> Supposedly this. But what is this actually referring to? I guarantee it's not reality/experience - again, if you observe you can notice that you're never actually hating reality which is real life. You're hating YOURSELF. But what are YOU? Really think about it. What is it that you hate? You say you hate human life, but what is "human life"? What are you referring to? Is it not YOU? You're confused. You don't even realize you hate yourself. Hatred is not just hating the idea of yourself as a person. You don't hate the idea, but you hate YOURSELF! Your idea of yourself is detached from the reality of you, same as your idea of God from actual God. You like the idea, but hate the actual thing... Seriously, think about it. What do you hate? And what are you? See above. You like the idea of God as some emptiness or whatnot, but hate yourself and disregard actual God right in front of you. "I want to die so that I don't have to suffer"... Brother. You'll stop suffering once you start to want to LIVE. By hating yourself, resisting and wanting to die you are only INCREASING your sense of self. Resistance is the ultimate "fuck you" to everything and closing yourself in your shell, away from God, peace, happiness. As long as you want to die, you will be suffering. You are getting exactly what you want. You're using your intention for this. HATING YOURSELF. Decide to change your intention NOW, if you REALLY want to LIVE IN PEACE. I know it's a leap, but you can make it. As above. Your intention is bringing you exactly what is supposed to bring. You want this and you're getting it. So become clear on your intention and motivations. And then change if you want. "Immediate relief"... yeah. The time to change this attitude is now. Until you don't stop banging your head against the wall, you will be banging your head against the wall. Why not stop now, instead of after 100 more hits? The time is NOW. End your suffering NOW. THIS lifetime, not a future one. You have what it takes. Your "problem" is purely spiritual. Start NOW and you'll be better of in no time. Get clear on your intention and you'll change so fast it'll be miraculous. In fact, you'll feel the effects immediately. --- I see myself in you. I went through some dark fucked-up periods where I had no hope and was also hating EVERYTHING. I had my suicide walk to a bridge. I destroyed items from my past, all my notebooks, photos, etc.. I fantasized about stabbing myself all the time. You have a sincere heart. I believe in change. And I believe in you. #NoMoreLifetimes

Hello. I'll be blunt in hopes that this can wake you up a bit. Listen to yourself. What are you even saying? "I hate myself" and "I want to become one with God". This is LITERALLY a contradiction. Pure misunderstanding. Really see this - YOU ARE DELUDED. You do NOT want to become one with God, BECAUSE YOU HATE YOURSELF. "I fucking hate this stupid human life". No, no you don't. What you hate is yourself. You don't give a shit about life (reality), you hardly ever really look at it, you only care about you. Or, more precisely, you care about hating yourself. Stop kidding yourself that you want God. Your hatred is so great that this couldn't be further from the truth. The thing you think you want is exactly the thing you're fiercely rejecting to the point of wanting to kill yourself. You have a vague fantasy of this "God" you dream of which is just that - a fantasy. You are delusional. The actual God you are rejecting with all your might. And no tripping will help you, because you are trying to use it to escape, therefore further spinning in your resistance. I guarantee you 100% psychedelics won't help you long-term because you're going to use them with the intent of "dying", escaping yourself. Really, you SHOULD give it up. It will NOT work. And you will not really kill yourself because you want what is happening. See: That's the crux of your issue right there. You want all of this happening. On YOUR terms. Which is exactly what you're getting and why you're suffering. Nothing you try will work because you're clinging fiercely and only using everything to resist further. The more you act on that intent, the more you suffer. But you can stop. --- If you want some relief, I'd suggest contemplating what I said above. Be honest with yourself for once. Your motivations are delusional, you think you want God but you're just fooling yourself. You only want you. How about you stop trying to erase yourself? Because the more you try, the more you there is to erase. And suicide is an idiotic "solution". Do you seriously think you can "reset" your energetic system with killing yourself physically? Like, does this make sense to you? You REALLY believe this won't just happen again if you end it like that? Listen man, I get you. I really do. I was going through this shit as well. Long periods, more than once. See this for example, from barely 3 months ago: When you're honest with yourself about the truth of you and your motivations, some knots should be untied. Really, you're just completely misunderstanding yourself. And I get that. I wish you well. I recommend talking to yourself. Split yourself into two - you who hates yourself vs you who'd like to live in peace, harmony, with God. And come to an understanding through dialogue. Best written in a journal, or spoken out loud and recorded. It's fun, try it. I developed the technique on my own. The two halves should both change somehow, it's not just about changing the "bad one". Talk to yourself with patience and an intent for compromise. And if there is genuine understanding, there appears the space for genuine behaviour change. I also recommend just having the intent to live in peace. I am 100% sure you never actually wished for peace. You only wished to escape, resist suffering and fight yourself, therefore exacerbating the problem due to your intention being fucked. If you really want freedom, wish for it, out of a pure heart. Cry out for it: If this resonates, you can DM me to talk further. I'm open to you and I wish you well. Good luck. With love, Sincerity

Aw sweet! If ChatGPT confirms it, then I believe it.

Just wanted to throw this in: I'm sure you're aware but it's not about these particular characters like JP or Elon Musk at all. The dream is conveying a symbolic message. It's about what these characters represent to you, your relation to that, it's your psyche. People should not make the mistake of thinking that you're attracted to these people IRL. It has little to do with them. It's about your development. The dreams are trying to tell you something. I won't throw in my interpretations since it's purely about you - only you will know what resonates.

God

No insulting please. An attitude of hostility and disrespect is met with warning points. Some replies have been hidden from the thread.

It's not like I'm gonna post regularly LOL. I just feel much better, that's all. My energetic system has been freed to a great extent. I came back from a vipassana retreat this week (my 3rd time there, Goenka style vipassana). What a story. I didn't follow the technique at all and just did my own thing. I worked a lot on my character with amazing results. Then came the time to work on the honesty aspect of my character and I was like "well, I'm a liar here since the very beginning. If I really came here to work on character, I should take action NOW on the honesty virtue. This is a confirmation that something is really changing". And so, even though it was scary, I cleaned my room, packed my things, told the staff and the teacher the truth and fucked off from there (6th day out of 10) and half-hitchhiked half-traveled-by-train back home. It was all marvelous. The entire retreat and the coming back was such a trip lol. There's too much to say about everything happening in my life right now so to summarize: I feel really good. I am more intentional. I opened myself up to a lot of new things I've been wanting for a while. I am taking action. I am more aware, free, focused and relaxed. Oh, the retreat was also SUCH a rest as well! I was smiling half the time and basking in the time there. I missed the silence and that clear countryside starry sky, you know? Now that I look at my posts above, I didn't even mention that I left college LOL. I was almost at the end but I quit because different intentions and energetic reasons. I am very confident in this decision. And I laugh at all the NPCs who only channel fear and conventional wisdom and tell me "b-but you'll have issues being recruited by the companies!!!". FUCK the companies. I trust myself and the universe. The perfect opportunities for me will readily come. And hell, of course it's not even about waiting for any opportunies - right now I am WORKING on becoming independent, building crucial skills and planning to get the hell away from my country in about 1,5 years. Before the new world war comes. I am attracting the new, amazing, focused life I am dreaming of - by working my ass off. And since I'm doing that, the world is also sending me useful opportunities aligned with my energy. Everything is just perfect. And the disbelievers will stay in their gloomy perspectives, not having faith that even a sliver of passion is possible in their lives, thus never changing anything. I wanna force-choke all these pitiful mental slaves and say to them: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

WE ARE SO BACK

And you depend on them until you're mature enough to be able to live without them. I've been racking my mind trying to find words for how to describe the following phenomenon. There are facilitations set up for you when you're not ready yet to be independent in life. Some of these are rather wisely self-created by society to eg. propel young people and have a "safety net", and some are on a much deeper mind level. Examples of these facilitations: Wage slavery, your job being doing what you're told and that's it. This is literally still being a kid in school Parental support A romantic partner (a facilitation in reality for you to develop love, grow yourself, etc.), family, friends, "people you can talk to" Structures in the mind propelling you towards actions, instead of being self-energy-reliant (note: I do not mean acting on your whims, I mean having built yourself profoundly as an energetic being with core energies you can always rely on) A general perception of "others" General sanity and unawareness of the deepest energetic processes, reality's self-creation You can live with facilitations all your life but if you're developing yourself, your spirit will be calling you for something deeper. You'll need to let go of these crutches in favour of independence. Letting go of the training kid wheels on your mind-bike gives you the chance to develop CHARACTER - or your energetic system. That's what the game is about. Example from my life: just this month I quit college even though I was on the brink of finishing it. I want no title. I will not be judged based on some dumb ass certification for fake jobs for fake people. I told my parents I was grateful but I will live my own life only and I'll do whatever I want. I want to have GENUINE skill and energy and instead so far I coasted through the education system and seemlessly got a rather good job in a big company. This is not life. This is living on crutches. Disposing of the training wheels (when you're ready) is good. Don't settle for comfort. Be courageous. THIS is the spiritual journey. This is what life is about. The journey of you. You'll find that you can ride the bike perfectly fine anyway.

Here's what I advise you. Disregard the veganism/animals for a moment. Think about what you live for in general. What do you currently want to develop in life the most? What energy/trait/value? What do you wish to become the most? This profound, general inner reason could be the answer to your veganism motivation, and other things as well. Random examples: "My recent struggles and experiences in general have been requiring from me that I develop FOCUS in life. I want to be FOCUSED. How can I use this reason towards veganism? Well, since I really care about the animals, I want to be FOCUSED on what I care about most and thus I WILL stick to my vegan diet. I'll do it for FOCUS. I'll do it for ME, because I want it the most in life right now." "I really want to develop WISDOM in life right now. I want to be WISE. That's what life has been leading me to. How can I use this reason towards veganism? Hmm... well, I really care about the animals and I realize it is wise to follow my heart and my truth in spite of intrusive thoughts and cravings. I want to be WISE and thus I WILL stick to my vegan diet, because this is respecting myself and otherwise I will feel shit about myself in life, and I know that's not worth it. I'll do it for WISDOM. I'll do it for ME, because I want it the most in life right now." I deliberately tried to come up with traits that don't necessarily have anything to do with veganism on the surface. But here's the crucial insight: when you have a profound inner reason for being, you can rationalize pretty much ANY action with it. You just have to convince yourself towards using a certain energy for a certain thing. You literally have to carve a path in your mind - from an energy pool to a desired behaviour/action! And you CAN convince yourself of anything. This is very profound. In short, focus on what YOU want about YOURSELF the most and then go from there. USE THE ENERGY WHERE IT'S PRESENT! Do with this advice what you will. Might click with you, might not. This is my wisdom. Good luck.

Then find what you feel you do want to develop in you. Find personal reasons. Or fight an uphill battle forever with external motivations. What I said about love was an example.

It is technically "for yourself", but it is less appealing than doing it for literally yourself. There is a difference between "I love animals" and "I love developing my love which is the core of me. I fucking lust after that sweet energy and growth. God, please help me change so that I can be more of myself." "I love animals" seems harder to focus on. You probably have to visualize animals being killed to motivate yourself or something. Whereas with the focus on your love, you focus on something more positive and deeply personal.

"I love animals" is quite a weak motivation, in my view. I find that the best reasons to change are for YOURSELF. Don't do it for the animals, do it for you. Meaning: you can do it for love, if that is a persistent core energy in you, but that doesn't equate doing it "for the animals". You can do it for developing YOUR love, the love in YOU. Get what I mean? "For the animals" is an external motivation. I find the strongest motivations are internal, not depending on external circumstances. You want to build up traits in you that do not depend on anything out there and you can just bask in whenever you want. Do it for YOUR intent to be loving, good, disciplined, focused, healthy, etc... Whatever YOU care about developing about YOU.

Stop and ground yourself. Do normal things. Do something fun. Deconstruction is not all there is to life, and doing it too soon can be harmful.

Of course you don't have to overcome EVERY one, and you won't. Should have mentioned this in my original post. You will feel callings to let go of certain facilitations at some points in life though and when these callings come, it's best to act on them because they are callings for the growth of your character/energetic system. The facilitations are often very addictive and hard to let go of though, and it's easier to convince yourself that the callings are just irrational, crazy thought and should be discarded.

Yeah that's kind of true. But also in a sense you have more freedom to focus on your purpose when other things are taken care of for you. Facilitations are there because one isn't ready yet to transcend them. So it doesn't necessarily mean that one is "a slave". These "restrictions" are basically self-created.

I'd certainly not go into any "spiritual career" anytime soon. Yeah, facilitations.

I'll 100% be proud of this decision on my deathbed. And I'll make more like these I'm sure. I want a life that's lived, and not just be a slave of comfort and patterns. I want my skill and the truth of me to be a signal to the world. I'll build up my portfolio. Fuck these companies. Thanks for the comment though!

A facilitation is basically when responsibility for something is outsourced for you so you don't have to care about it. Society is one enormous facilitation self-created by its members for everyone involved. The responsibility of being a doctor, lawyer, politician, farmer, guy sweeping the street is outsourced for us. But the even bigger facilitation (within facilitation, within facilitation...) is the mind and all of its structures and illusions/deceptions - which are THE facilitations! When you're under an illusion, the "other side of the illusion" is outside your conscious responsibility and so you can live your life without giving the slighest shit about it. And then reality itself.

I think "visible reality" is the ultimate facilitation. A facilitation designed to help you see energy/spirit clearly, starkly, manifested; to help guide you to independence of mind. I think no facilitations would be what we call death, or God.