Lila9
Member Apolitical-
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Posts posted by Lila9
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I believe you.
I'm sorry you went through this.
It's common to forget traumatic events from childhood.
My siblings recently shared some traumatic experiences they remember from childhood, experiences in which I was present, but I don't remember these at all.
I'm not a trauma expert and I wish I had some professional advice to give you.
I can give you an advice as an individual. My advice would be to take care of yourself, physically, mentally and spiritually, take the time to heal, might sound like a cliche but you're not alone, I'm wishing you the best.
Love.
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Depending on the situation of your family, if the situation is really bad and you really need money, starting from any job, even if it's a simple and low income job would be better than no job. Doing anything that can improve your life is better than doing nothing.
I started to work at 16-17 with the mere purpose to help my family because of poverty. Every day, after finishing school (or not, sometimes I ditched it), I worked in a landuary which involved a lot of physical work with a low income (was paid with cash and had to chase the manager to get paid, otherwise they forgot to pay) which was the only job that I was accepted to at that time after unsuccessfully trying to get hired to places like coffee shops and supermarkets which offered a better income. I was 16 but looked like 12 so it makes sense I wasn't easily hired but at that time I was very angry and frustrated because of that.
Regardless, me working, even in a low income job, helped my family a lot and helped me to develop myself personally, to mature, built my confidence (overcome low self esteem and social anxiety), work in a team with people and manage money. It gave me valuable life skills which was the foundation to better workplaces later in life.
Later, I combined the laundry job with being a private teacher of children who weren't good at school, which gave me both money and satisfaction because they got improved and their parents were very happy about that (they spoiled me with more money and gifts to express gratitude).
At that time, the most important thing for me was to survive, I didn't care about anything else, I was grateful for any opportunity I had to get money.
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This is boils down to the cultural norms you grew up in.
I grew in a country in which it's normal to smile to each other, talk to strangers anywhere, invite them to your home and offer help and receive help, this of course comes with the downsides of people wanting to be too involved in your life, being more direct with you and having less respect to personal bounderies, tribe mentality, obsession with togetherness and the demonization/fear of loneliness which can be toxic and destructive as some amount of loneliness is healthy and is a human need as much as togetherness, it's all a matter of balance.
When I visited Eastern Europe a couple of years ago I had a slight cultural shock because of the strong bounderies people put with strangers which was perceived for me as coldness, apathy, indifference, on the emotional level, despite people there being very kind and warm once they know you/trust you.
I noticed that in those places smiling to strangers is precieved as weakness and even as a sign of stupidity, foolishness, immaturity, manipulation.
Exposure of positive emotions in public, seen as weakness and a negative thing.
3 hours ago, bebotalk said:It's weird to just go into a public place and then smile at people. People one doesn't know. I'm not responsible for their happiness, nor they are for mine.
That's true, but on the other hand, you do responsible for others well being and others are responsible to your well being to some extent.
Because we as humans influence each other and depend on each other, that's how we have survived until now, the idea that we are completely separate from every person is illusory. Sometimes smiling to a stranger can be a matter of life and death to this stranger (or to yourself, if you need help).
I don't think that people should smile to any stranger, we don't know who the stranger could be, every stranger is a potential pederator. But I also don't think that there is something wrong with smiling to strangers if the situation is appropriate.
There are mental health benefits for smiling, either giving or receiving it.
It's easier, mentally and emotionally, to be in an environment in which people don't do issue of smiling and do it more often rather than people who rarely smile. It's more mentally and emotionally healthy to grow up with parents who smile more often, rather than parents who do it rarely, same with friends, romantic relationships, neighbors, your doctor, any authority in your life, given it's a geniune form of smile and not fake/manipulative.
Of course a smile needs to be perceived as genuine to have a good effect, fake smiles and toxic positivity may do worse.
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I had reoccurring dreams about bathrooms too, that's intresting that other people experience this as well.
In my dreams I had to go to the toilet but it's either very dirty, broken or damaged (damaged door/lock, toilet) transparent (with strangers around me), or a non bathroom which was converted to be a bathroom but actually looks like an office or a bedroom with improvised toilet and anyone can enter it at any given moment, not being aware it's a bathroom now.
After a search in Google I found that dirty and broken toilets symbolize feelings of shame (like Judy said), feelings of embarrassment and repressed feelings, various toxic and self destructive thoughts, emotions, beliefs that the soul wants to get rid of in order to heal, thrive and develop.
These dreams are a sign that our psyche invite us to look into it, and as you said, be aware to our emotional unresolved trauma in order to heal ourselves.
I can say that once I started be more aware of my trauma and heal it by working on radical self awareness, self acceptance and self love, with the aid of frequent journaling, combined with yoga and breathing techniques in the last two years, I don't remember dreaming those dreams anymore, the last dream I had about bathrooms was me using a clean bathroom which now I realize as an indicator to my progress in my self healing journey.
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Set clear goals for each day and follow them (doesn't have to be big, can be as small as organizing your space and do laundry), be aware of the information and the content you consume online and elsewhere and limit it, stay away from negative people and negative energy, meditation (especially mindfulness), yoga, physical activity, being in nature, journaling for venting and self reflection.
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I don't know if it's healthy or not but when I feel emotionally bad I retreat and "abandon" reality. This including my job, interaction with people and responsibilities, which I turn my back to. I hardly can move either because when I feel emotionally weak, my body feels weak too. I turn into a snail mode and focus on self soothing, do things like crying, writing, wondering, listening to music or lying until I feel better and can return to my life.
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If I follow the idea that God is infite creation, then if there is a relatively irrational species like humans in the universe, there must be more variations which means that there must be more rational species somewhere else in the universe.
So the reason for our relative irrationality is because God's infinite expression and creativity.
Despite the human inherent irrationality, humans can still improve it. The main obstacle and the problem with humans' irrationality is human lack of awarness to our own irrationality and self deception that we are acting rationally, which is an irrational belief by itself.
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I think that some Camus' insights may help:
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6 hours ago, Karmadhi said:And although the Hamas attack was horrible, I have always expressed it. Firstly there is barely any brutal footage of it (just reading stuff is not the same as seeing it) and secondly I feel sorry for Gazans even before this war. I cannot help but understand why they lashed out the way they did. Therefore I am indeed biased somewhat to their suffering because to me it has been historically far greater than the other side.
If you hang in a social media pro-Palestinian echo chamber, you wouldn't see this:
On 1/9/2024 at 5:06 PM, jaylimix said:Add [sketchy links removed]
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When 3000 UNRWA teachers in Gaza celebrating the October 7 massacre.
People who supposed to be role models for the future generation.
https://unwatch.org/group-of-3000-unrwa-teachers-celebrates-hamas-massacre-and-rape/
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53 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:People who keep pushing their bias here with no self-awareness or shame will be blocked from posting in the politics sub-forum.
We have standards here against blatant spreading of bias.
This is your last warning.
Ok, I suppose I am one of these people you refer to. I would say to my defense that I experience people demonizing Israel disproportionately and I respond to that because from my perspective these claims are absurd.
I would love to hear how you suggest to communicate here, how a discussion in the standards of this forum should look like, and maybe also give some examples from this thread of what comments you consider as pushing bias VS legitimate comments.
It also would be nice if you share your meta view of this conflict in a few points, assuming you studied it well, I want to learn and see what I'm missing.
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7 minutes ago, Nivsch said:@Lila9 You came at the minute I must go to sleep 😆 I tagged you and comment you under the woke video of Teal.
Ohh I saw it just now, didn't receive a notification, my apologies 🙂
I ate dry fruits if this counts, how about you? That's ok, tell me tomorrow, have a good night!
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27 minutes ago, Vrubel said:@zazenOke, fair enough
The golden insight is that Jews are fighting for their naked survival. This is not a mere bias that can be shaken but is at the very core of every Israeli including very liberal ones.
Another insight would be is that Israeli society is like family, very open, socially free, always ready to help or do their duty and from my well-traveled experience it is the most compassionate of all societies when it comes to the elderly, disabled and handicapped people.
I’ve seen it, Israeli youngsters would pick up an old slowly walking grandpa and drive him to his home or help him with his groceries.
On YT I even heard the story of a low life Russian drug addict who was’t even Jewish. He was picked off the street and stayed at the house of a very normal middle class Israeli family. Can you Imagine, having a drug addict where your children play and sleep. The addict reformed out of gratitude and became an devout orthodox christian, getting his life together.
Even Naftalie Bennet, the former PM had a random mentally ill girl stay at his home who tragically committed suicide by dressing up in burka and charging at Israeli police with a knife.
Israelis are not perfect and also bicker all the time and are sometimes too brazen and rash for my taste. But at the end of the day they create, build and take care of each other. And they get embittered and will close themselves off to the people that want to destroy that.
This is beautifully written, thank you for sharing.
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We know who our enemies are, we know their true colors, not the ones they show to the woke western pacifists who glued to BBC and AJ.
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16 minutes ago, kenway said:I don't have skin in this game. I don't know anything about Islamic culture, Israeli culture, Arabic culture, Palestinian culture.
Understanding the cultures is crucial in understanding this conflict.
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11 minutes ago, Lila9 said:Why Qatar funding US universities?
https://www.ynetnews.com/business/article/bjldya2qa
That explains why these "woke" educated students in the US support Islamist terrorism and rationalize it, they are literally funded and brainwashed by pro- terrorists across the world.
Teal's video about today's "woke" culture is relvent than ever.
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Why Qatar funding US universities?
https://www.ynetnews.com/business/article/bjldya2qa
That explains why these "woke" educated students in the US support Islamist terrorism and rationalize it, they are literally funded and brainwashed by pro- terrorists across the world.
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3 hours ago, Nivsch said:I think that makes the goal to be even more important now if we want a chance for them to utilize this trauma to healthier places and even to get a kind of treatment later in their life.
I agree, this is very important. This is the real key to change.
Someone should take positive ownership of them. All these human rights organizations, including UNRA, who hang there could do that, but instead, they covertly cooperate with Hamas and other Islamist terrorist organizations that indoctrinate these children and put guns in their hands.
Many social justice warriors in the world speak in the name of these children, as if they really care about them, but none of the adults among them aim to protect them from Hamas and the toxic ideology that creates generations of terrorists.
They simp, glorify and idealize these Islamists in their head, see them as heros and as legitimate freedom fighters, as if rape and killing babies is a legitimate act of freedom.
Instead of blaming Israel for defending itself against terrorists, which puts the future generation of Palestinians in countinoius suffering for them and for Israel, someone should hold these terrorists accountable for their anti-Israel, antisemitic, and Islamist toxic ideology, not to mention their horrific October 7 crimes.
If there is no one in the world who can stand against them, they shouldn't be surprised if Israel does that. If they don't like the way Israel does that, they can go and do it themselves.
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https://www.jns.org/210-congress-members-denounce-south-africas-genocide-charge/
210 Congress members denounce South Africa’s genocide charge
The letter notes that while South Africa barely acknowledged the Hamas terrorists “who gleefully massacred, mutilated, raped, and kidnapped innocent civilians” on Oct. 7, it made “grossly unfounded and defamatory charges against Israel on the world stage.”
Calling it an abuse of the judicial process to delegitimize Israel, the letter goes on to state that to charge the Jewish state with genocide is “particularly cynical given that the term ‘genocide’ was coined following the murder of six million Jews in the Holocaust.”
“We vigorously denounce South Africa’s deeply hostile stance towards Israel and thoroughly reject its charge of genocide,” it continues, urging the Biden administration to continue to oppose the trial.
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2 hours ago, kenway said:One of the bad things about being telepathic is feeling people's suffering.
One of the good things about being telepathic is that I can feel @Lila9 already feverishly typing a response to the above.
I had a nice tea break at that time. Maybe you need to sharpen your telepathic skills...
1 hour ago, Merkabah Star said:lol. Love your propaganda.
Thank you, that's a nice start, maybe if you could replace the word 'propaganda' with 'truth' that could be more respectful.
1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:What a load of BS.
You guys really need to keep rewatching my videos about Bias, cause that lesson flew over your head.
I was sarcastic.
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The Saudi price says about Iran's leader Khamenei: "He wants to expend, he wants to create his own project in the ME, very much like Hitler who wanted to expend at that time".
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15 minutes ago, zazen said:Palestinians are 20% of Israels population. Pro-Israeli's talk about how they have a great life and no apartheid within Israel so how are you guys able to live side by side there? Are the Palestinians in West Bank and Gaza a different type of Palestinian.
I struggle to see how this all ends. A issue with the two state solution is that from the West Bank there is a direct sight of Tel Aviv and Ben Gurion airport - the elevated position and proximity means direct attacks and snipers are within range. I can understand why Israel would be hesitant about this, especially after bringing so much bad blood between them and Palestinians. Then you have settlers already placed in West Bank who are more extreme and armed now which makes them impossible to move.
Then with Gaza it has been made uninhabitable and is still 'too risky' for Israeli residents to be living near such a place in Israel's eyes. So the two state solution the world is calling for seems difficult to achieve and something that Israel won't even allow. What you will effectively have is a militarily controlled land where Palestinians live but who aren't part of Israeli democracy - that is basically occupation and apartheid, similar to what is already the situation but without Hamas and with military check points within Gaza similar to West Bank.
Israeli Arabs are moderate. There are radicals but not enough to create big mess inside Israel.
Palestinians in WB and Gaza are more radical and it is not a good fit with the Jews radicals in Israel.
Both Muslims and Jews are not conscious enough to have a state which is equally Muslim and Jewish, both have different values and belief systems. Israel and Palestine should agree on basic values and things to coexist in one state, in reality, they are very far from agreement.
In general, both Israelies and Palestinians are traumatized from each other so living face to face is not a good idea.
Why not live under Palestinians? Reality proves that it's not safe for Jews to live under Muslim government, even if it's not that religious. And there are barely any Jews in Muslim countries (except Azarbajan which supports Israel).
While the opposite, Muslims under a Jewish goverment, proves itself safe, Muslims thrive in Israel, especially the Muslim women.
There are literally queer Muslims in TLV, who feel safer among Jews in TLV rather than among Muslims in their birth village, that alone says a lot.
Two state solution could be good if they proved themselves safe and not wanting to destroy Israel.
It's up to them to show they invest their money to develop themselves rather than in weapons to destroy Israel. Otherwise, Israel would do everything to secure itself from them.
Iran is threatening to destroy Israel for years, they are funding Hamas.
What could grantee that they will not attack Israel once they gain a state, what could grantee they stop hate us once they get a state if their real goal is to destroy us completely.
Netanyahu in the UN about Iran's threats-
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The elderly woman speaks the true about Hamas and the Al Jazeera Journalist tries to twist her words:
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in Intellectual Stuff: Philosophy, Science, Technology
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I tend to separate the art from the creator.
I don't know if it's good or bad. I might dislike an artist but be drawn to their art and vice versa, I might like someone as a human but be bored or disgusted by their art.
It's perfect when I admire both the artist and their art.
However, obviously there is some connection between the artist and their art, otherwise they would've create it. I just don't automatically unify the creator and their art, it's like seeing a parent and their child and assume they are the same person or judge them as one.