Lila9

Sure dude, I will move (if I don’t commit suicide before then, as my mental health has declined over the past couple of years) but I am broke due to the war and the situation in recent years. My dream is to move to the Netherlands, Denmark, or some Northern European country. Do you wish to sponsor me?

I always got from him this uncanny feeling that something was off, even in his “Green” era.

That's for sure, women are responsible to be more critical of beauty standards and the social expectations. But they can't control the way some random man sees them. I didn't say it. My point was that men can own their sexual desire and perception of female body instead of automatically balming women. I Googled already. Didn't find anything too reveling or hypersexual. That's why I asked. There is pressure on women to fit into certain beauty standards that may be objectifying, and there may be consequences for not fitting in. While women are definitely responsible for questioning and resisting them, I often find it unsettling that women are often blamed for trying to fit into those standards rather than people questioning the system that heavily pressures women into this objectification and conformity to begin with. Ok.

Now it is not only roaches I will have to tolerate but also their angry spirits 😢

Oh God I wish we would finally be able to get rid of him.

I don't watch sports. But can you give me an example of what women sports clothes you are referring to? Do men take enough responsibility? How many men understand that the female body is not merely sexual but also functional and neutral? It doesn't matter whether a woman is wearing clothes due to self-objectification or not. If a man wants to objectify a woman, he will objectify her. A woman can dress in any way without the intention to be objectified and yet, she still will be objectified. Men objectify women even with a hijab or niqab, imagining them naked. It is not a woman's job to regulate men's sexual desire, nor is it her responsibility, because only men can control it as they are the one who experiencing it.

I think that the belief that there is no evil, that evil is relative, or that judging people for demonizing and dehumanizing evil, or overempathizing with “evil” people because of their childhood trauma and lack of love, is a Stage Green perspective and an important part of conscious growth, and is valid. But it is limited because it may over-relativize harmful behavior, struggle with boundaries, or center the perpetrator’s pain as much as (or more than) the victim’s safety. Maybe a more Tier 2 approach would be, on one hand, not to demonize “evil” people, but also to understand that there is such a thing as evil behavior and the systemic factors that lead people to develop harmful pathologies. This includes understanding that even people who act evil are still part of the One, of God and unity, who have forgotten this and act from a mentality of separation and unconscious behavior rather than something inherent in the person itself. And at the same time, recognizing that this behavior is harmful and must be stopped by applying practical solutions like healing, shadow work etc. and by creating systems that reduce such behavior.

Chapter 8 called "The Law of Self-Sabotage: Change Your Circumstances by Changing Your Attitude" from the book "The Laws of Human Nature" by Robert Green, gave me some good insights.

I personally don't think that women's sports clothes are that revealing. Wearing a bra and shorts or leggings is comfortable and practical. They may want to look good and attractive while wearing them, but again, they are part of a culture that judges them for not being attractive enough according to social standards. In a society in which the main thing valued in women is attractiveness, being perceived as not attractive for a woman is like death or invisibility. Also, men can wear sports clothes and want to look good at the same time. We live in a stage of body image obsession that men take part in too. If women were wearing thong underwear and a cloth covering only the nipples to the gym, then I would say, yes, this may be too much and unnecessary. But this is not the case for most women wearing sports clothes. If men's sports clothes were revealing (which they already are, given that men often train without a shirt to showcase their muscles), I wouldn't mind and would not look at them, regardless of how I feel about it, because this is their body and their lives. I trust that what they are wearing is comfortable enough for them, and if they do it merely to attract girls, this is not my business.

I see. The thing is that revealing clothes can be practical as well. Saggy and modest clothes can be uncomfortable in sports and not as practical too especially in a hot climate. This can be the equivalent of men training without a shirt when there is warm weather.

Same 🙂

Yes, it can be conformity, self-objectification, and pornification in order to fit in. Both the niqab girls and the Western self-objectifying girl fall to the social pressure as women to cater to the male gaze and are centered around male desire rather than authentic self-expression or individuality. Yet, a woman can dress modestly or more revealing as part of her self-expression and individuality too. It is not always conformity. Revealing the body is not always about wanting to be a sexual object or be objectified (as the body is not merely sexual), and dressing modestly is not always about covering or hiding the body to avoid "tempting" men or to signal moral "purity".

Sportswear in general. The same goes for men. They are usually tight and revealing, especially in late-stage capitalism heavily influenced by Orange culture, which is all about image and body worship. Nudity is seen as purely sexual. At the same time, clothing is not an invitation for harassment and modest clothing don't necessarily prevent that. Nudity and the body are not merely about sex or sexuality. They can be neutral and functional, in the same way the “nakedness” of animals is. Breasts for example are first and foremost for feeding babies.

Same goes for germs, radio waves, atoms, and many other things.

I don't know about enlightenment and whether this is real. I know about awakening, as a lifetime gradual process. Yes, it's called shadow work

Next time you can choose to incarnate as a tree (or any plant) in a wild area that is difficult for anyone to reach and live peacefully for many years 🙂 Some trees are 100–200 years old. This is a nice break. But here, your soul chose to incarnate as a human on this specific planet and in this era (provided you had a choice). Do you have any idea why your soul would choose such a thing? Maybe your soul wanted some challenge or growth.

I would have probably done the same (getting attached to a poor dog and giving up on everything just to have it with me).

I see.

Yes, unfortunately it is not always easy or possible to detect pedophiles in schools. Though kids can be really clever and intuitive. I remember that when I was in primary school, I had a sports teacher whom we suspected to be a pedophile because of the way he touched us and hugged us too much, both girls and boys. He was a bit weird and did strange things, like giving us a ball to play with and then closing himself in a nearby room, for an unknown reason which we suspected had cameras. But even if kids are clever enough adults may not take them seriously. I remember that our suspicions came to the attention of our teachers, and they brushed it off maybe because the sports teacher was their friend and they liked him or because it is too uncomfortable to admit that one of the teachers may be a pedophile, as it can also impact the school’s reputation. Maybe he wasn't pedophile and it all was our imagination, I don't know. Maybe the best thing in those chaotic situations is to teach kids to have boundaries with strangers. I had a friend who taught her kids not to allow anyone, including someone in their family, to touch their body, not even for a kiss or a hug unless they receive permission from the child himself. And if someone touches them without their permission, they should report it to their mother or father. This may not resolve the chaotic environment, but at least it gives children some awareness and tools to protect themselves.

No 🙂 This is completely normal and healthy, and the advantages you described (like catharsis) are real and good for mental health. Also sharing online in a community of like-minded people (more or less, I guess) feels almost like talking to a real human, but without the risks of real-life consequences due to anonymity. I find your posts real and relatable. I don’t read many journals here lately but in the times I read yours it gives me a cozy feeling like reading a letter from a friend, reading the thoughts of a beloved character in a book, or reading an article from an author with a unique and distinguishable style that I admire. However, if you feel uncomfortable with an online journal this is valid as well. I had two journals here which I removed because I have the tendency to overshare (or at least to believe that I overshared) and regret it because I feel too exposed and vulnerable, as if I am naked. But on the other hand, I do crave people to see more vulnerable and exposed parts of me, because I do want to feel seen and express and share, so I'm torn between the two hahaha Anyway, your journal and the journals of others here gave me inspiration to create a new journal when I am more prepared.

I don't necessarily blame them. Blame is a difficult word. But I think that once men mature, they should be held accountable. Usually, the brain completes its development at 25. From 18 to 25, I agree that men are still too young and vulnerable, but they are not as clueless as children. In the past or in the Global South, people at that age got married and built families. People already have a driving license at those ages, they are handling guns, serving in the military, drinking alcohol, etc. Women are accountable to think critically too, have better standards, develop their intuition, and be more careful regarding men or even women who uphold the patriarchy and harm them (which is what feminists are trying to do), but there is only so much they can do without men taking accountability as well. I don't remember arguing that. However, I do think that for adult men, since they are no longer children, this becomes an active choice not to take accountability and to remain in this dark loop. I understand that it is very convenient to avoid accountability in this convenience culture, especially if it involves looking in the mirror and admitting that they were misled, misinformed, and caused real harm because of it. It is difficult to convince people that they were wrong, but without the courage and willingness to realize it and heal from it, nothing will change. We have reached a point where someone has to do it in order for things to move forward. Otherwise, men will keep complaining about loneliness and alienation from women and become more radical in their hatred, and women will keep complaining about mistreatment from men and become more radical in their hatred. This can last for decades or even centuries without anything being truly resolved or changed. Kindly note that the post I shared earlier is an article from someone else, not me. But I agree with its general idea of holding men more accountable. If there is anything specific in this article that you don't agree with or want to discuss, let me know. I see, but they also can't blame women for all their toxic behavior and keep spreading hatred, which results in real harm for women (and other men). This continue the cycle. They should know and understand that it has consequences. Again, men aged 18–25 are not fully mature and do not have the same critical thinking skills as fully grown adults, but they are not children either. If we can trust them with cars and guns, we can trust them with treating other fellow humans better. While we can't expect from them the same level of critical thinking we expect from adults, it doesn't mean that we should be okay with all their harmful biases going unquestioned.

You give me the vibe of @Keryo Koffa 🙂 Are they with us?

What is it?

I am already in love with life and existence. This is my very lover. I fell in love with the good and just forced to tolerate the bad, like in most relationships.