Holykael

Actually I wish I could do something about ending suffering altogether for eternity but I know that's impossible. And yeah I'm also trapped in a planet of slaves and I'm willing to work but it seems at the moment god doesn't want to give me a job, I've been trying for months.

You also forget that it's god that created my entire point of view. God is clearly dissecting itself through me.

I did no such thing. I didn't exist period. I'm a creation. God created me because god wanted me. I didn't want to be created. I was created forcefully, raped into existence.

And what is preventing god from not having free will? It's not that he has no choice. It is that he loves EVERYTHING. So he wants to manifest everything. He loves Holykael being tortured. He loves Holykael being eaten by rats. He loves Holykael getting 5 cancers and dieing in excruciating pain. That's unconditional love. And unconditional love is sick and criminal. Conditional love with sane conditions is the highest good but god isn't interested in the highest good. God doesn't think about the well being of its creations. He only thinks about his sick love for everything.

It's simple what's happening here. God is such a pathetic masochistic worm that he intentionally puts himself in the state where it will hurt the most. Which is me thinking I would never do it and that it is a cruel abomination. This is god. Using its intellect to maximize suffering for no reason at all. Because god loves suffering so suffer it shall in the most exquisite ways.

You talk as if I want to cling to the false self. If it were up to the false self. The false self would have never come into existence in the first place lol. The false self is entirely blameless as always.

It can always go higher. The knob is infinite

This is total bullshit. In heaven god experiences an eternal expanding orgasm and there's no duality. The existence of duality doesn't require torture at allneither. Take it away and everything else still works all the same. There's an infinite amount of realities with no pain and suffering too. Just like there's an infintie amount of realities with just pain and suffering.

This doesn't make any sense. How does the creation of torture add anything to existence?

Why is the torture necessary for this. Why not just end me instantly? Why is the cruelty necessary. There is no excuse.

There's literally no other choice so... In my mind it is completely sick that torture exists.

The past was predestined. My undoing was a planned execution. Why should I ever praise or love that which so heartlessly orchestrated my downfall and keeps giving me new problems to deal with. I believe only in giving good lives to people.

After what that fucker did to me I'd rather die than praise god. You don't understand. I was humiliated, I lost all my money. I lost twp jobs and I can't get a job now. I lost my gf. I lost my friends. I lost my independence. I lost everything I had to lose except a roof over my head. I was also tortured several times. Ofc I understand ultimately I did it to myself as god but as the character I can't forgive this.

Sure it's a possibility. Just like getting tortured again. Anything goes.

@Hojo It was god that made the entire movie so he's responsible for my sadness. In fact god is responsible for every one of my actions and thoughts and there isn't a choice at all. Being aware that I'm not in the movie is a shift of consciousness that god may have never destined to happen. I don't choose shit.

The feeling of suffering is programmed into the movie. States of consciousness chained together like a blockchain. Programmed suffering. programmed heartbreak. Programmed sadness.

I already verified that I don't. I don't think my thoughts and I don't move my body. God keeps showing me posts of no free will and gives me insights of how free will is literally impossible in imagination unless you're in god mod and controlling things on the go. But if you control things on the go you can't really take reality seriously because you're aware you're doing it. So god wills itself into movies and loses all power.

Don't force spirituality on your wife. If she's materialist she won't resonate with anything you say. If it is in her destiny to awaken she will otherwise let it be. I tried to enlighten people around me and it just doesn't work. They are heavily programmed by the matrix. As for your situation. God is running the show. Whatever needs to happen will happen, accept what is and be at peace.

State of being is all that matters. The reality of the situation. Not some grandiose detached "higher" perspective. The reality on the ground is what should be taken into consideration. God's arrogance knows no bounds subjecting innocent beings to this bullshit.

It's not difficult. God is infinity meaning all possibilities are accepted and will at some point be manifested no matter how cruel, disconcerting, disfunctional or fucked up it may be. God loves everything including a bullet shot into your asshole. Or a turd going down your mouth. That's how radical and total god's love is. From Holykael's perspective god is a complete sick abomination because it doesn't differentiate good from bad.

I would happily welcome turning my screen off. There would be no negativity because I would not suffer anymore and there would be nothing to complain about. I welcome the void with open arms. Ofc god won't give it to me. To make me suffer he has to keep this life going until the end. Holykael didn't create anything. Holykael didn't generate the negativity. God did.

Holykael never had free will, if Holykael had free will reality would be so much different. God has free will and decided what will happen to Holykael in the movie. If Holykael could choose reality would be just him and her with god level creativity, no limits, fully powered and capable of creating any reality forever. No god. No Hojo. Just the two of us. Building castles in the sky.

Yeah I'll realize god when I die. Unless my destiny is different but there's nothing I can do about what's already set into motion. I don't believe in myself because so far what has been set into motion was very cruel. Give me things only to make the pain of taking them away much greater. Making me powerless and useless. Taking away my independence, etc I lost this perfect love with the most beautiful cheeks. I have constant daydreams about creating new realities just to be with her again forever.

Hey, me. Nice to meet you. Much love.

The functioning of my mind is also automatic. God created a movie and then hit play. This movie is immutable and you can't escape it while in it unless god planned for some sort of escape that is not death. In a sense god made me type this yes. He also made your post.