Davino

There are no perfect decisions, you just gotta cut the loses and move on.

I wouldn't worry too much about the collective and focus more on what you want. I feel you really want to make the jump and your mind is trying to find reasons in politics and other areas to convince yourself about what you actually wanna do. This is the most important part. If you have a stable source of income. Another point to consider is residency, it's important to leverage your contacts in those places. It's surprising how many opportunities are only available through contacts. When I was living in Rome I found a very nice cheap apartment thanks to my Italian teacher, I would have gotten a much worse deal via other methodologies, so leverage your contacts. The only loose cable I see in your plan is regarding your boyfriend. You both gotta sit down and have the real conversation. Even if both of you agree, it may be quite a leap in the relationship which will make it or break it. Just beware.

Great post Love

Beware of the time given that you wanna raise a family. It's common to see men working in their finances and when everything is according to their standards they're already forty and alone. Feeling empty because money cannot fill that human longing. I know you want to be in a more stable financial situation and I get that, just beware of the time, it goes on very fast and you have a 7 year span to make a family, while you have all your life to make money. Consider also, many people find in their children a huge motivation to provide and generate income. So my advice would be: don't make it perfect, make it work.

@Nemra You can believe something and that ending up to be true. In the same way you can believe something which ends up being false. The stage of true believe, I think it might point to the right presumption or intuitive without the revelatory experience. For example, you believe 5meo could trigger an Awakening. However, you haven't tried it yet. That is most likely a true believe. Once you try it and have an Awakening, then it's experience. That's what I think is trying to point out, but I'm not a Mahavira's or Jain scholar.

I remember vividly the moment I realized how God lived through every possible life, perspective and experience. I was sitting in a bench, tripping on acid, insanely conscious and already with a couple of Awakenings on. A little bug 🪲 was crawling my hand and I looked at it, I felt it, became fully conscious of it. And like a lightning shock, all of Reality become like a book where each page I became an insect, and the pages continued to flip ever more quickly, into all possible lifeforms, into all possible realms of experience, finally to stop in the one page of a human being watching a little bug crawling a hand. The Strange Loop left me speechless and it was an Awakening which I deliberately left in the shelf, so that one day I may be ready to digest that Truth which was revealed. This is spirituality, this is Awakening, otherwise it's empty guessing. I made a question to the OP, to tell me his Infinity Awakening and how it came to know what he's saying. I've talked extensively on my Infinity Awakenings (use the search function) and now I reveal how I came to cognise the implications of God's Infinity.

The post is quite good and there's something as Infinity of just pure potential, but I'm trying to push you into Higher Infinities.

Just to have some context, how was the moment you became Infinity? How did that happen? But then, if God hadn't experienced all of itself, wouldn't that make it limited in that dimension and therefore not Absolute Infinity? Yes, that's an important trap to point out. On the other hand, there is the opposite trap which is the fear from the ego to experience all of Reality. It resists some experiences and hence creates a metaphysical narrative to explain why Infinity doesn't entail to experience all of Reality, despite existence being all of Reality. Maybe actually reality is not totally free because it is bound to be itself. Yes, love is the answer. The reason why Reality can be all horrors is because it loves horrors as they are the very being of God, as everything is. It's free to be all horrors, it's free from control, God loves it all because it is itself doing it and being it.

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There's a video of Leo talking extensively on this: Is eating fast food everyday an act of love to yourself and body? Is sitting in the coach like a potato closed from sunlight in a sedentary fashion, a loving advice you'd give to anyone? Is being ungrateful towards life a loving attitude? When you find yourself in confusion you can try to make it the opposite, to see the contrast. Or ask yourself what advice would you give to the person you most selflessly love. It looks like a process of wholeness or like Carl Jung used to say, the process of individuation, to become a total human being. To integrate the shadow and everything we dislike and repress of ourselves into our consciousness and love it. Some people say, it feels like ordering your room, it's not broken, it's just out of place, once it's balanced all your psyche finds it's gorgeous equilibrium and dance. Self-confidence may be a by-product of this process, but if you care about that, you might look into more specific personal development resources like "Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden.

It came yesterday as a beautiful insight. Reality cannot imagine something it doesn't love because in existence we are all but the One. I exist, screen is existing, sounds, light, torture, pizza, ... At our core, everything is pure existence or consciousness and that is the insight that brings me into Oneness every single time.

All of Reality is inside God's Heart, it's your very own existence.

The orgasm is in its release, not in becoming aware of the accumulated tension. It's like carrying a backpack for long, once you notice it's heaviness and you know how to leave it behind, then it's an orgasmic relief. That's fine for now. Although you'll continue to experience these symptoms in your trips. If you're not gonna work for them to dissolve, you'll have to become more adept at dealing with it in the moment of the trip and get used to that happening. I feel you. Maybe it's needed to diversify the tools and practices to deal with depression and loneliness. Usually therapy and classic personal development can do it. Psychedelics, spiritual practices and sport can also come in handy. The good thing about psychedelics is that it just needs to go right once for it to be life transforming. So keep having faith for that day brotha

I love it too A good benche with nice atmosphere is like a treasure.

@Hojo Interesting meditation technique, never heard about it, might give it a try. Thanks for sharing your experience

There is nothing in this universe that may be treated with disregard or contempt. He acts His Divine Play in infinite ways, through infinite forms, and in an infinite variety of settings. Without appearing as the many, how can this Play be staged? Do you not see how light and darkness, joy and sorrow, fire and water, are inextricably linked together in one unbroken chain? Remember that spiritual endeavour must be coupled with purity of heart. To the extent that we harbour unkind or narrow thoughts, we increase the cause of evil in the world. What necessity is there to pay attention to what others have or have not? Far better be intent on your own improvement. If you can develop inner beauty, and enshrine God, the ever Beautiful, in the Glorious Temple of your Heart and Consciousness, you will then be able to perceive beauty in everything. - Ma Anandamayi

By understanding that your acceptance of it is irrelevant to its existence. The reality of torture when you're seeing it is first order, right now dozens of people are being tortured. Your reaction towards that is second order. It's like a children crying because it's raining and it doesn't like it. Then it rains twice, one in the weather and the other inside.

That's personal development. And non-identification pertains to the beginnings of emotional work. The final stages look less like denying, non-identifying, depersonalising, disowning and more like self-love, self-acceptance and total self-embracement.

@LoneWonderer could you try any of the video recommendations?

@theleelajoker I resonate with what you share. Yes, I forgot to mention the jaw, lots of tension is stored there as well. Releasing the jaw in psychedelics feels orgasmic. Regarding not going to the spot with vipassana, I just love to go straight to the deepest tension but I've learnt to not overfocus either. You've gotta see the consciousness and emptiness of the core solidity. Then move on till you complete a cycle (what feels like an energetic completion) to go back again to the spot intensely. I really do my best to feel it and dissolve it. Very probably memories and thoughts will come as it's dissolving, let it all go through you without getting caught. That would be my advice. This is a challenging process. I'm happy we are all sharing our bit. I liked the second perspective you shared, I never thought to frame it that way.

On the Blindness of Scientism: I almost fell from my sofa laughing when the dude from the video said this: The cosmic humour here is just hilarious Getting serious, how can you really care about Consciousness and avoid the evidence of dozens of people sending you emails that psychedelics are revelatory to grasp consciousness and you just omit it. How on earth! I did the same process as that dude and when I encountered psychedelics, I just tried them, and there you have it, bombastic shock.

Lmaooo Let's see who are the best Dark Souls players in the world ahahahhaha

Videogame insight: Just imagine how wild gaming will become once we reach 360° fully multisensory Virtual Reality—where sight, sound, touch, taste and smell pull you completely into a Videogame world. Psychedelic Insight: Wait doesn't DMT and Salvia do That?

Honestly what you make about it is second order reality. The sensorial fact of your illness is first order and that is the only thing I can point to. You go about making sense of it.

@LoneWonderer I know how challenging it is. Trust the process. You're not alone. This is a good sign in fact. You're becoming so conscious that your own body and energetic system is becoming the bottleneck for higher consciousness, that's already a crazy level of spiritual development. You can say I've become so conscious that my body couldn't hold it and started upgrading itself!