Davino

Today this insight hit me like a truck and I would like your help to work through it and share our experiences. Today I realized that the biggest bottleneck I have is the fear of going insane. I have recently bought 5-Meo-Malt and have been reflecting deeply for months on how trying this substance will impact my life and how my path will shift. I don't have fear of going insane in Malt although it's a legit concern, it's more of a broad limiting wall in my mind. I limit my own awakenings and trips because of the fear of losing my mind and the grip on my self. I have a deep fear of death also but insanity is just what really is stopping me now. I'm aware of the need of having a healthy mind and I take great care of myself but I feel that this fear is stopping me from becoming more awake and happy. How have you dealt with this fear? How do you deal with the fear of becoming insane in a psychedelic trip or mystical experience? I would greatly appreciate your feedback in this topic.

This is the density of malt 1.1±0.1 g/cm3 and this is the density of 5meo 1.1±0.1 g/cm3 Which means a microscoop works perfectly. You'll be having a tiny bit more than what you would expect but totally negligible I bougth this ones: The mg are the range for different densities but I assume the lowest is the equivalent ml to mg and the one most similar do the 5meos.

That's rare. If that is ever going to happen to you, it would have happened even without psychedelics although they accelerated the process.

@Ya Tut Thank you really helpful. Yes but it enhanced his message for sure. Everything is a tool

Yes, that's the absurdity of it. You have to take into account that it's not a switch on and off button, it's a progress and in the progress to total surrender of what is real and unreal, and all other distinctions, you can very much resist and have fear to that process. The point I'm working at is making the jump to the unkown. Yes now I see. I have seen the trick. Letting go of insanity and sanity also then, of controlling and desiring while I'm awakening. I realized I have a problem with doing leaps of faith into the unkown when shit gets very real. Let's see if I can cultivate a more corageous and explorer mindset.

Makes sense you gotta work through all of that, it's like a pyramid. I'm very lucky to have had such a good life and loving parents. You have to fill in the gaps to get to the top, I have been guilty of bypassing so take your time to do a good job, it's worth it. I'm in my early 20s. I'm pretty young but I consider myself mature, despite the lack of experience characterestic of this age. I'm always trying my best

I feel your good intentions but I think you are a bit naive in the way you are trying to help me. At least it's not an approach that has resonated with me, this tools of using the absolute to solve the relative gets obsolete after some time. Yes, I came to the same conclusions that's why I decided to make this post to see how can I better deal with it. I'm curious and more open about letting go after contemplating insanity. What if I like it? That sentence really opened my mind, maybe it's not what I think it is, I really don't know what it is because I push the brakes when I get close. Maybe there are valuable lessons and insights from losing my mind here and there and when the moment comes just letting go and going with it, stopping resistance and facing the fear and the intensity of the moment. I have also been thinking that intensity is also a huge component of insanity. Because I have felt insane in some spontaneous awakenings, once in the street I felt like I was dying in a catharsis but there was some love component and understanding there also. What really triggers me is the combination of insanity with intensity and just the facet of truth and mind with no love component. Insanity is very crude when you don't have the lubricant of Love. I have remembered many moments where there was some insanity but I could deal with it either because it was not that intense or because the loving facet was present. I think I'm too pushy sometimes with realizing the truth, I chew more than I can eat we could say and I think that is also a huge factor in the equation. I'm gonna go more smooth in my inquary to allow myself to work through the stages instead of just breaking through layer after layer. I'm usually too hungry for the truth and that has sometimes compromised my personal life. I really want to make it to the ultimate truth but I want to do it in the best way possible not just being so obsesed with it that I conterintuitively end up not reaching it. Yes, that's definetely an aspect of insanity. Another aspect could be going through such intense and profound experiences that I lose my mind in the process. Yes, I'll take even more care about my trips from now on, creating an ecosystem so that if insanity comes, it's safe to open up, express and explore. However, if the mystical experience is spontaneous that's a bit harder to deal with but I'm sure that after working through it in controlled environments I'll be able to handle it more. Like 20 trips more less. I have tripped three times with LSD. It's funny because they seem very little but how transformative are those experiences? That is beyond numbers. I've been having awakening since I was 12. I remember very sweetly watching: What is Truth? from Leo in covid lockdown. I had such a profound awakening that my whole life changed and finally I could make a bit of sense in my truth seeking. Then, I learnt from him that psychedelics could be very powerful tools. Everytime I trip I have multiple insights, mystical experiences and awakenings. I mean, is it possible to trip without having an awakening? After trying psychedelics with other people that seems to be pretty much the case. I'm still searching for people that feel the same as me when I'm tripping. It appears that while our experiences may have some similarities, they are actually quite far apart. I share also this magnetic atraction for such states. My partner is sometimes very confunsed when she sees me going through difficult emotional moments and in the midst of it I say, wow how beautiful it is to experience this. There's some beauty of that in the human domain and I suppose the same taste can be acquired for states of consciousness. I can see the beaty in madness but it's like exotic food you need to get used to it.

Ou yes, this is very helpful also. Loving the what is can make it very easy to enter into a meditative state

Thank you everyone of you for taking the time to answer. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna keep reflecting on it with the insights you gave me.

I have 0 fear of becoming clinically insane I'm very stable and happy in my life. It's experiencing temporary insanity what really freaks me out. My realizations and trips are very deep but they always hit with the crystal ceiling of insanity and I have not been able to cross this door and keep going further as I have done many times in my path. I am scared what my consciousness can do with no limits on it. This is very helpful, thank you. Eye opening, really what I needed to hear. I intellectually get it but being on the brink of insanity is beyond concepts of being alive and death. I'm more fine with dying than with the experience of insanity. I had a cery crude dead on Salvia and death is part of life but insanity seems to be a much profound rabbit hole than anything that I experienced, at least for me. It's like shattering all limitations of yourself. Insanity is the total surrendering of absolutely everything. All that you had learnt and done in your life to be able to understand and make sense of what is going on, to survive, to be a human, to prefer life and health over death pain and suffering, distinctions between real and unreal, all of this just flying out of the window. Forgetting I was ever a human, and then what..? This proces feels like becoming insane. We are not talking about the same thing. I'm not talking about regular psychological insanity. I'm talking about the conscious experience of insanity. @Dazgwny Thank you for sharing. I really felt that we are on the same line. Yes I have gone through that line of reasoning also. However, yesterday I had to be honest with myself and really see that the truth beyond my story is that there is an actual blockage/fear that cannot be imagined out of existence or easily deconstructed.

"He is Father. He is Mother. He is Friend, Beloved; He alone is all in all: this is the idea you have to cherish. Is there anything that He cannot give? If your desire is intense, it is quite impossible that Light should not come to you. The question whether the path is long or short must not be allowed any room in your mind. 'Realization will have to be granted to me', this should be your determination. Employ your whole strength and capacity, then only will you succeed. How beautiful! By holding on to Him everything comes of itself." ~ Anandamayi Ma

I talk from my experience I know people that really don't feel anything with transmissions, it's something you have to try for yourself. I find great value in connecting with people that regularly abide in a higher state of consciousness. Some of this individuals have the ability to transmit their own state better than others. From the cientific perspective could be seen as mirroring neurons. The whole point is that the other person functions as a key to open up something within yourself. You sit and when you meditate with a video of them and I find that more effective than just meditating on my own, they kind of hold the space for me. Yes, sir, happy to see you

Transmissions and initiations

No way, why?? I was gonna watch the video to do it this weekend Does anyone have it? That video was gold, it was the only video in the whole internet tha explained that process.

@Leo Gura If the price of the course is high do you consider an option to pay in installments?

Don't make a shadow out of your virtue in the process

@Leo Gura Have you tried edibles? When weed is eaten it's converted to a 11-hydroxy-THC which is known to induce psychedelic states.

Will persistance. Just declare or I die or achieve this. If you say seriously this sentence you will achieve everything you want or die in the try It's a matter of intensity, how hungry are you? Do you really want it? How much? Would you die for it? Literally dying not in a theoretical manner, really dying for your goal. Here you can grade yourself where you are

In all forms and without form, there is only God. With that knowledge and with your mind fixed on God, if you perform service, chittashuddhi (purification of the chitta) takes place. It is also propitious and auspicious for the human being. Patience is indeed the foundation for the highest good. For the traveler on the path of dharma, the direction should be towards the effortless revelation of his own nature. When you perform service with the mind fixed on God, you are performing service for God Himself. Everything is God’s creation. God is accepting service in this fashion. -Ma Anandamayi In the realm of the ego falsehood arises. God is never untrue. He is Truth Itself, Knowledge Itself. You have no right even to state that God is false. Everywhere there is "One Brahman without a second", "Wherever my glance falls there God springs forth." So long as this has not been revealed to you, you have no right to talk about it. You must always speak the truth and nothing but the truth. You are mainly repeating what you have heard, you have certainly not experienced this. Falsehood exists in "myself" and "yourself" - in the ego. Where ego is there is "mine" and "yours" - MA. "If you honestly do your best, you need not be afraid of anything. God will help you. He is there to fill up all gaps if you are true to your-selves. All that you do to maintain your life, your everyday work and play, all your attempts to make a living, should be done with sincerity, love and devotion, and with a firm conviction that true living means virtually perfecting one's spiritual existence (to be) in tune with the universe." ~ Anandamayi Ma

Then the Truth is that you don't like the truth

No it does not. It's just a sweet spot within the dream. I connect with what feels christ consciousness or buddha shapeshifting awareness but that does not mean at all that I am awake, it has nothing to do with God-realization really. It's just a sweet spot within the dream that allows you to be aligned and in harmony with reality. It wasn't in particular to you I was saying it in general. Talking in the spirituality subforum is absolutely wild, here at least we can speak. I really don't know, LSD feels very impersonal and without personality to me. LSD triggers kundalini which I feel is femenine in essenence but therefore saying LSD is femenine would be an error. Most psychedelics that come from plants have some kind of character or traits, but synthetic ones seem to be more transparent in this regard.

We can only perceive echoes from a distant mountain as we struggle to grasp the true essence of what he is endeavoring to communicate. We simply have no idea what he is talking about, that's the truth.

Definetely but with the right cognition in place.

God's true Being cannot be described, for when speaking of 'being' there is the opposite of 'non-being'. When trying to express Him by language, He becomes imperfect. All the same, in order to use words, He is spoken of sadhana Sat-Chit-Ananda (Being- Consciousness- Bliss). Because He Is, there is Being, and because He is Knowledge Itself, there is Consciousness, and to become conscious of that Being is indeed Bliss - that is why He is called Sat-Chit-Ananda - but on Reality He is beyond Bliss and non-bliss - MA. He is the Fountain of joy - Joy and Joy alone is His Being. A state exists in which there is only Bliss, Beatitude, Supreme Felicity. At your level, joy has its opposite; you speak of the joys of heaven and the torments of hell. But where there is Eternal Bliss - Bliss in its own right cannot be expressed. It is entirely beyond such words as "what is or what is not?" To speak means to float on the surface. What language can express that which is neither floating nor diving deep? ~ Words of Anandamayi Ma

@Giulio Bevilacqua You are so kind in the psychedelic subforum in comparison with the spirituality subforum I never intended to do so. However, it seems that LSD puts me in this yogic state. I really get visions about Babaji and some of Lahiri Mahasaya, I know how it sounds but I'm equally surprised by this phenomena. I close my eyes and all I see is babaji's faces in a perfect yogic universe where everything is in energetic alignment dancing in colourful light threads. LSD seems to connect me to the Christ consciousness kind of stuff. I'm not really into any of that but if you keep having those experiences your beliefs and understanding start to change. So I become what feels as a a yogic state of consciousness which visually appears as Babaji. I am Babaji, the perfect yogi. So I just find myself into this profound yogic state of consciousness and then from that state of consciousness what needs to happen, just happens. A bit like now, from the state of consciousness that I am what needs to happen just happens. I would say most of the time kundalini always feels too much. So it's a concern that you have while having it "sober" also, but definetely also while tripping. I remember that thoughts crossed my mind about how people "messed up" their kundalini and how that destroyed their whole life and they had energetic imbalances and how psychedelics could fuck the energetic system of the body and bla, bla, bla. However, when I connected to what was really happening in the moment and not my thoughts about that moment I only felt this primal radical healing energy. I mean you can literally feel it. This energy is good it wants to heal you so that you can become more conscious, it's the divine femenine energy of creation withing your body that is being stimulated by the divine masculine consciousness. This is not like book read definition I'm explaining it how it felt for me, in my experience. In that moment, this energy felt femenine, chaotic, wild, free, healing, nurturing and loving, it felt very tangible and very real, solid real. Not like when you are in your mind or consciousness and everything is more ethereal, no no, this energy was as physical as it gets, as primal and from the depths of the human psyche as it gets. Beyond the animal pain of releasing traumas and blockages, the overwhelming experience and overstimulation there was this feeling of everything is fine, I'm healing you and I love you. It was an implicit knowing. I also have to say that my approach to spirituality and psychedelics is different than most people. I have always wanted to have some kind of path or way, to become an expert in some tools to raise my consciousness but nothing of that seems to work. Only spontaneity and going with reality and what-is seem to work for me. All of my serious awakenings and mystical experiences happen out of the blue and uncaused, all other tools for that purpose just do not render even close results to what happens naturally. I like psychedelics because they are more solid and replicable than just this spontaneous peaks of consciousness and also render similar results. I always set some intention before the trip but the trip itself is the guide and I try to abandon myself in it and go with the flow. So LSD is like that for me, I now understand the words of Neem Karoli Baba, after taking 3 tabs from Ram Dass, he called LSD the yogic medicine.