UpperMaster

How does "wanting to" work at that level? Don't I only want something because I feel a sense of incompleteness. Like if I was absolutley fuckin infinity I'd probably chill for eternity, I'll be hapiest that way no?

Ok noted.

Alright good point. But why did I want to come in my current form then? Like why are we alive right now?

Ok, then your experiencing infinity all the time. I have a feeling I'm going around in circles here hehe

@Leo Gura So then all these spiritual masters, Ramana Maharshi, Sadhguru etc etc are just bsing about this reincarnation stuff!!!?

Ok let me ask this way, what is the stage right before infinity? I'm just trying to understand

How do you know death is infinite love? What if just wakens you up to another dream? What about reincarnation?

Yea but doesn't that mean that there are infinite amount of stages.

What happens tho, what if your just reincarnated and have to go through human petty bs again.

@Leo Gura If death is that good, then why wouldn't you jump to experience it right now?

@Leo Gura Well then is there a possibility to even awaken for real, as in is there a final dream to awaken? Or is the chain infinite?

@Leo Gura Not going to lie here. I can't even imagine wtf your experiencing. I've been indoctrinated with non-dualism so that was easy for me to digest but a kangaroo mouse? ahahaha, your right, we have to catch up to you, and fast....this is just damn, never thought there is something above non-duality. I can't believe you just like that but damn this just wwooow wtf daaamn

@Leo Gura What did you take? You previously said you didn't take DMT.

@at_anchor Yea I sort of get the picture that you have very conflicting experience, since although your grandpa was hard to deal with, he did feel bad for his actions. I'm in no position to question your experience. However I feel that, whether or not someone changes or not should not be your concern after a certain point. You shouldn't put yourself in a place of danger unnecessarily. Also, Narcissists are not rare, they are found everywhere. Some are less harmful than others, and everyone has some level of narcissism. Ultimately it is your decision.

@Danioover9000 She bad asf I ain't even gon cap lmao

@at_anchor narcissists generally have low empathy, and high self absorption. The behavior described in the post is clearly exploitative.

@RoyalFool Elaborate, I don't understand.

@Asayake Yea no prob. I can't possibly know the entirety of the situation however... I do want to say that although people can change, most people don't, most psychos and narcissists especially don't. I'm telling you this with all seriousness because I don't want you to fall back into his influence, I have made this mistake, once your out, keep yourself out. I made this mistake, and just got exploited more. I don't know if this guy is actually smart or not. Generally the more intelligent the person the more dangerous he is. It is very easy to get manipulated, its is not your job to be forgiving. Forgive him in your mind, but avoid him because you know that he can exploit you. Hope you can take my two cents here.

@Asayake I've been victim to a narcissist like this too. Sucks ass. Emotionally draining as fuck. I personally haven't dealt with it, just sort of got away with it in the sense that he found someone else to target.

@KH2 Ahhahahahaha. Chad.

@Raze Nice. Btw I looked at them. This is exactly what I was looking for. I was compiling a list myself but you've made my job much easier. Thanks

We all don't feel like it sometimes. I'm curious to the different ways a person could overcome this problem.

@Tahuti Yea I agree with what your saying here. I can imagine that what I am experiencing ain't full on nihilism rather an incompatibility with some of beliefs. And I will continue to contemplate. Thanks for reply

I'm posting this find out ways to deal with cognitive dissonance and confusion, which has negativity effected my life. Problem: I am unmotivated, always scared, feel very nihilistic, experience extreme cognitive dissonance, and don't seem the value of responsibility any more. Context: Few months ago, I've found the "problem of free will". I initially wanted to defend free will, because free will gave me a sense of control in my life. However, Through the lens of materialism, there seems to be none whatsoever. I posted a question about free will on this forum, and the responses I received were incredibly conflicting. Some people realized free will, some realized determinism and fate, some realized both (through their awakenings). I struggle to understand how people who believe in no free will can accept it gracefully. I can't look from the lens of spirituality because I've never experienced any awakenings before, and therefore resort to materialism. I can't just "believe" in free will because in my mind I know that the reason I want to believe in free will is to avoid truth, which goes against my conscience. Its really hard to forget about the free will problem because I experience free will all the time. I've tried accepting no free will, but this has had taken a huge psychological tole on me because I experience it all the time. All coping mechanisms for free will seem to rely on believing at least some part of the illusion eg. " try to understand your role", "remain curious", "decide to be more about which information you seek out". I don't know what to do. I feel like fuckin bursting. I don't know if we have free will or not, but damn it's hard to deal with confusion and cognitive dissonance. Please help if you can, I really need it, its hard to live my life properly, my visions for the future seems futile because my future seems determined.

@Leo Gura This is the image I have in mind: https://media.istockphoto.com/vectors/hand-with-the-figure-of-an-executive-as-a-puppet-vector-id494215350?k=20&m=494215350&s=612x612&w=0&h=eMQgQR865mF8889lz17BGp0RxQVSYih8dVSccO3rcPk= Ok, so I concluded that, there must be just one master and no puppet at all. In the sense that it is impossible for the puppet to exist separate from the master. The puppet moves in accordance with the master's wishes, much like how your hand moves when you want it to, so yea I guess, the puppet is nothing but a part of the master. But that's like saying your just a part of nature, that doesn't mean you are nature as a whole. I guess my confusion is how to know that you are really the master, and not just some finite part. Psychedelics? Is this what enlightenment reveals to you? Also a small doubt: why don't other spiritual teachers explain it like this. Ramana Maharshi, Rupert Spira seem to suggest going with the flow, and being a complete victim to gods wish. I hope I'm not misinterpreting this, just trying to understand. Thanks again