mr_engineer

Then why do people resort to a personal attack, if it's not personal? The word in and of itself implies 'unlovable'.

What I'm saying is very serious and important. If you think I'm wrong, please, prove it.

We shouldn't be cowards, we should face our relationship-problems instead of running away from them. To call someone a 'creep' is a sign of cowardice.

I shouldn't be able to sue you for those things. How should I deal with you, then? By asking you why you're doing what you're doing, by getting to know you better. If I run away from you, there's a million other people doing what you're doing, because it's legal. How many will I run away from?!

Because smearing shit on a stranger is illegal.

@sda If I were you, I would take their advice with a grain of salt. For two reasons: They resorted to name-calling and demonization. They demonized you, using a word that implies that you are unlovable. They only told you what not to do. It was a 'don't do this'. Did they tell you what to do instead?! Nope. Why?! Because they don't know what they're talking about, they don't know what you should do instead. Here's what you should do instead - find someone who operates in relationships from a space of love, not from a space of fear. That person will love you for who you are.

It's not the external conditions that cause the feelings, it's the way you're interpreting the external conditions that cause the feelings. You're interpreting it based on paranoias like 'What if he's unsafe? What if he does this?! What if he does that?!', even when he didn't actually do anything wrong/illegal. When you think that someone is a threat, do you have data-points to back that up?! Or is it just a 'presumption', like you said?! If it's just a 'presumption', then if you're cutting him out, it's pure paranoia on your part. Figure out ways to check for whether he'll do that or not, before you share the information! That's how you protect yourself. And, learn to give a chance to people. That is, if you want to end up with someone. If you don't want to end up with someone, then the solution is to remove the person from your life, not to solve the problem with them in your life. He didn't talk about his feelings. The question was 'Why did it happen and how do I prevent this from happening in the future?' My answer is - before asking her out, check if she's feminine.

If there's anything this discussion shows, it's that truly feminine women are worth their weight in gold. Because they take responsibility for their feelings and they can be truly loving. So, OP, find them and approach them. They won't ghost you.

Yeah, so what?! We're having a different discussion here. This discussion is about how you tell whether she's worth approaching or not. That's the advice I gave to the OP.

When you say that someone deserves to be shamed because they trigger certain feelings in you, that's very narcissistic and self-righteous of you. You honestly think that the world should revolve around your feelings, don't you?! It's just a matter of time before men wake up to this. That's what we have to do right now. Being a woman does not automatically make you more compassionate/have higher EQ.

All of those are crimes under the law. Which is a completely separate conversation from the one about your 'feelings' of being 'creeped out'. They may or may not have a good reason and you don't know unless you investigate them yourself.

When you cut contact with someone because they 'make you feel' a certain way, that's not you taking responsibility for your feelings, that's you blaming them for your feelings. If you're taking responsibility for your feelings, you can deal with them on your own time and have a completely different attitude towards the same person!

Do you honestly believe that the world should revolve around your feelings?! Cuz if you do, that's the textbook definition of 'narcissism'. Which is the opposite of 'being feminine', because femininity is all about being loving, not being narcissistic. This is why this is an important topic of discussion for men who are looking for a feminine, loving woman.

There we go. If someone makes you feel 'creeped out', why is that their fault? Why are you blaming them for your feelings?! Your feelings are your responsibility, right?!

No, there was a point. The point was that the creep-shaming has gone too far. And it was made sense of in a wider context.

Trying to water down/trivialize the point that was made.

They do care. They're just saying to your face that they don't care, because they don't want to 'hurt your feelings'. It's pure two-faced behavior/manipulative behavior. Again, trying to discredit what I'm saying to get away with regulating men's behavior. 'Everything is in your head, nothing is real'.

No, YOU don't care, cuz you're a simp. Speak for yourself!

Then why are you trying to discredit what I'm saying?! This is not just about me, this is about other men reading this. We will not be taking this anymore and we will be calling it out when we see it. It's because yall aren't doing what you should be doing to fix the situation. This calls for an escalation of consequences for your sexist behavior. We will be calling out creep-shaming from this point on.

@Princess Arabia More attempts to regulate men's behavior. The standard arguments of 'he's weak, he's wounded, he's not loving himself', blah blah blah. If I said something sexist towards women, you said 'this is wrong' and then I make it about 'your specific traumas', it would validate your opinion of me as 'sexist', right?! Same deal.

Yeah, I know how much you care about women's feelings. Women's feelings are of paramount importance, aren't they?! Men can't have one conversation about themselves without worrying about how women feel about it. How about 'Be yourself, no matter what others think of you'? That'll work. By the way, it's the opposite of what everyone here has been saying to OP. Everyone here wants to control OP's behavior, just because he's a man.

The fact that the word 'creepy' is even being used, implies that you do care about it. You're already making an attempt to regulate my behavior when you use the word. We have to stop using that label for no reason. In fact, we have to stop using it, period. The day you stop using this word, is the day I'll believe you telling me that 'you don't care how I behave'.

Men have to stop putting up with over-regulation of their behavior. Those of you who think you can regulate us - who do you think you are?! And who are you to speak on behalf of third-parties?! Who decided that you're more socially calibrated than us?! You're not. All of you put women's 'feelings' on a pedestal and are willing to change your entire personalities accordingly. What you don't know is that the women who blame you for their feelings are unpleasable, you will never feel good enough with them. That's the reality. So, focus on finding someone who will accept you for who you are, instead of changing your behaviors to suit people who won't.

If he seems okay with what you've said, doesn't mean that you're right and doesn't mean that your solution is going to work. It's an oversimplification of the problem at hand. Just admit that you don't give a fuck and you're being a simp right now. You think that if a woman feels uncomfortable, it's everyone else's fault but if a man feels uncomfortable, that's his fault.