Devin

Jiu Jitsu!!! Yeah, go have fun, do stuff like that, you'll meet tons of people. What type of guy are you looking for? Don't be afraid to ask a guy out that you're interested in. -You could try indoor rock climbing, it's a very social environment and friendly, pretty much all stellar guys(me?) -Beach volleyball, the big cities in Ohio have very social volleyball venues, checkout Facebook -any coed sport you're interested in -look on Meetup for things groups do around you -group ballroom dance classes -volunteer for work at parks and trails

I wouldn't do that. All I'm asking for in this d@mn thread is if there's a good chance she's not interested. I get the sense she's interested, if it's compelling she's interested I'll just have an open conversation about it, if it's likely she's not and I'm misinterpreting it I'll leave it at that. I don't like leaving women hanging if they show signals, they often don't verbally communicate it, so I think it's my responsibility as the man to communicate back.

The people they count to come up with their whole number of which they divvy up into districts\seats/representatives I was wrong though, sorry, I apologize. But in principal, it's not a big deal for the reason I gave. You also have to consider voters change their mind and usually vote against the ruling party. I don't see how gerrymandering can or should be so terrifying, the ruling party obviously should get to determine the map, they are the representatives

You don't think its hurtful to her for me to ignore her signals? She's not a daddy issue/flirt/attention needing type girl

Yeah, I'm not pursuing anything, I haven't shown any interest since I found out she had a boyfriend. My concern is she's my friend, women tend to send these signals so that the man will take the next step, and if she's interested I think we should at least have a talk whether we pursue it or not. If she's trying to get my attention women tend to put a lot of effort and energy into that and I think it's uncaring/hurtful to just ignore it either way.

I think for some of us we wouldn't fit in a social circle conducive to that until we shed a lot of crap.

Yeah I don't mean that only "positive" traditions can be unifying. War, raiding, pirating, slavery, coliseums is us against them though. Dog eat dog, american capitalism is us against each other

I actually have positive people in my life now, it's not really that they drag me down by being manipulative or critical, they don't do that at all. But I still tend to take on their beliefs and I need to deprogram often. And people I interact with daily that are critical and manipulative, it's unbelievably surprising to me, but I now enjoy those interactions, I can let those things bounce off me and the reaction from the people seeing that feels meaningful and it's enjoyable to see, like magic. I love being with people, but no more or no less than being alone.

took me years, but a retreat sounds nice.

I don't know if you want it from me but I'll offer you my experience on some of the things you're working on since you're helping me. This is my experience not my advice, I don't believe in following advice, I try to listen to my intuition. Unhealthy stuff, discipline, shame(seems tied to the former) What works for me is just going with it, it gets worse but it seems to teach you what you need to learn. The willpower thing for me prolongs the underlying issue, letting go of the belief(healthy, production, shame) happens when I let it hit me hard, sometimes going to rock bottom, then I'm no longer afraid of health, production, shame. When you're in it deep and then you get a glimmer of joy or bliss popping up spontaneously, it's like the beliefs just fall off like chains. You were the one chaining yourself to health and as counterintuitive as it seems, that causes you to be unhealthy. It seems like a self correcting mechanism in us for positive beliefs, yes they're positive and helpful in society, but they are still beliefs, and all beliefs are limiting.

@flowboy from what I'm reading on shadow(jung) is it's a quality(usually negative) in your blindspot(unconscious). But I know I still have hooks in me for common social values and that I have ignorance, so what could it be in my shadow that you're referring to?

There are worse things for a man than jail or death, social shame and rejection, jail is not that for many men, it is often considered manly.

The only way I notice it is when I leave, but I notice the beliefs I pick up from others, and I notice how they were weighing me down.

Yeah I don't believe in leaving forever, just until you lose the insanity.

I don't know anything about what you're referring to as my shadow, I'll look into that. My goal with a therapist would be to reveal what I'm missing, what I can't see. I think they can screw you up by sending you into a rabbit hole, offering an attractive distraction like having me question things. I can really withdraw into thinking, so I'm cautious about what I start to think about, a lot of it if not all of it seems like a waste of time and energy to me, I think just feeling seems to be the better approach, not converting feelings into words, words are so flimsy, you can never truly come to an end. Thanks

Their wives have the greatest ability to hurt them socially.

I definitely still have superficial societal values creep up and I can get anxious when they do. I can feel them melting away though, as I keep cutting through my ignorance. You have long periods during normal life where you don't think there's some underlying anxiety, although not front and center, but something you still slightly sense is lurking? I don't see how I could have gotten to that point without leaving, although I was in a toxic family and had maybe what you consider mildly toxic friends, I see toxicity in everyone. I plan on seeing a therapist(been planning this for years though) I just feel like it will be a waste of time and possibly counter productive. Maybe a fear to face head on though, I feel like they could screw you up. Thank you, I appreciate the detailed response, the only reason I made the thread is because I am unsure. I mean leave every relationship.

Thank you. I wouldn't want to get in between their relationship, I appreciate you hitting that home to me though. And I also wouldn't have anything sexual if she seems unsure of what she wants or is doing, I wouldn't just want to have sex with her just for myself and screw up her relationship. I'm past the point of wanting a committed relationship with her. I actually don't care if my significant other would cheat on me, I don't want a disease obviously but the sex doesn't bother me, if she found a great guy she wanted to with I would be happy for her. Integrity; I appreciate you pushing this as well, if it does start to get sexual I think we should have a conversation first to make sure she isn't doing something she might regret. She doesn't make me uncomfortable with it, I sort of touched on it earlier but she isn't a hyper sexual person, at least in the type of situations we've been in. She's elegant but modest, not a daddy issue/begging for attention sort of woman. Thanks, this is definitely helpful for me

Myself of course, I think eliminating the distractions let's you more easily process what still comes with you. Leaving alone isn't the end. You answered my question though; No. You seem like a very healthy minded individual, but are you anxious and just figured out how to conceal it? You still seem attached to superficial societal values (worldly accomplishments). I haven't read a ton of your posts though, so I'm sincerely asking. My understanding of escapism is finding something to distract yourself from looking at your "problem". I think I did the opposite.

Not permanently, but until you find peace; then you want to be with people and loving sacrifice feels fulfilling. But you answered my question; No. You seem like a very healthy minded individual, are you anxious though, and just figured out how to conceal it?

I don't sense camaraderie or trust with materialism/greed even back in the day, I think it always came with deceit and a lack of integrity which keeps people from being unified, no ones ever trusted each other over here and anyone would sell out the rest of the country. I agree that was the strive though, I think it still is today, not because it's celebrated though, but because of fear.

It's simple math, if half (+ 1) the electorate vote democrat, they gain the majority in the House despite any amount of gerrymandering Draw the most gerrymandered map and have half the electorate vote the other way

I agree gerrymandering effects results, but only because people don't vote, it's easily overridden if people would vote. As a whole, gerrymandering doesn't effect a vote by the majority of electorate People don't vote, that means they vote for whoever wins, their choice, it's their vote; they're voting for the corruption

That's the popular vote, that's not the majority of the electorate

The house majority will always be able to be decided by the majority of the electorate as well Judges are not the end of the line either; they make a decision, we can change the law, remove a judge The worse things get the more people will vote left, you get a super majority you do whatever you want.