Devin

Why are they poor? Is it possible it's because they don't fear not having a home or food? They don't fear the judgement of others that drives you? I admit it is often the case that they fear something more than that, and those fears are just relegated lower down the pile; and they are hurting people. And what do you define as meditation? What are they doing with their time? You ever read about Diogenes?

At what point do you call perfection where you can relax and do spiritual stuff ? Seems like you could "fix" it better forever. Distraction? I think the root of all "problems" is one thing, and what you're prescribing albeit you would be a supremely functioning member of society, I think you're prescribing something for a symptom rather than the root cause. I think it would be easier to pursue what they're talking about in here by being "poor". I know I don't know any of that though, you do you ? Controlling your behavior to work, eat right, and in relationships; it seems like those would be dead easy going the other way. And that you would learn those things anyway during the "pursuit"

Don't you think if you got to "God-Realization" you would eat healthy and have the best relationships, sort of working it backwards. Or even if you were just pursuing it.

"Healthy" "Loneliness" That's clinging to attachments; health, companionship To me you are teaching/reinforcing/learning a belief that you need those things.

I still say they are distractions

@Kksd74628 ?

"Solving those problems" may be a distraction, sort of depends on what you mean by "poor"

? That was easy, guess I didn't need in person. Thanks

Just expand your search area, there are also positives of being out of your twenties; you can read each other quicker, you both have a better idea what you want and who you are yourselves, and you can better see who the person not only truly is but who they're going to be.

? thank you so much, I think that will be so helpful to me. I know not to judge other people for being materialistic and ignorant, I'm pretty good at that actually, but I never really thought about me judging myself on those things. Although I'm relatively very non materialistic and relatively not ignorant, I still definitely possess some of those traits. THANK YOU!!!

I think the single biggest thing I've found that makes it easier for deep happiness, joy, loving period; is leaving. Leaving everyone you know behind. And it seems to be the greatest hindrance if you don't. I'm curious, was anyone in a life situation where you think it was neutral or positive to stay? Or has everyone felt the same as myself? And do you also think it's the single most powerful thing?

I don't see how you could do it without any bias. What's the basis of the algorithm?

I'm not saying I'm going to sleep with her, not once in the entire thread. I think if a woman you know is giving you signals it's considerate to communicate back clearly, not just ignore them, I think that's mean and hurtful. If there's a good chance I'm misreading it though, I'll let it go on further before confronting her.

I have a female friend that I see alone frequently, I haven't known her for long and when we first met i engaged with romantic intent but she has a long term boyfriend. I've always thought she gives me signals that she's at least attracted to me, I'm not sure if it's that she wants more. She doesn't seem like the type of girl to be in an open relationship or cheat, she's younger than me and I would guess a bit inexperienced with men. She forces long smiles and batts her eyes when we first meet and then also when we part. When we're doing things she goes out of her way to be physically close to me, we're in a very safe environment, there are other people around but this is an environment people let their kids run around in and rightfully so. I'm confident she's attracted to me but would like to know if it's just as likely that she doesn't want anything more. I like how she acts but I also like sex and it tends to flip the switch in me. I know lower value women don't care about cheating, this girl does not at all seem like that type, she's modest although elegant, she has a master's degree, full ride scholarship .

You're welcome! Check Meetup for kickball.

Jiu Jitsu!!! Yeah, go have fun, do stuff like that, you'll meet tons of people. What type of guy are you looking for? Don't be afraid to ask a guy out that you're interested in. -You could try indoor rock climbing, it's a very social environment and friendly, pretty much all stellar guys(me?) -Beach volleyball, the big cities in Ohio have very social volleyball venues, checkout Facebook -any coed sport you're interested in -look on Meetup for things groups do around you -group ballroom dance classes -volunteer for work at parks and trails

I wouldn't do that. All I'm asking for in this d@mn thread is if there's a good chance she's not interested. I get the sense she's interested, if it's compelling she's interested I'll just have an open conversation about it, if it's likely she's not and I'm misinterpreting it I'll leave it at that. I don't like leaving women hanging if they show signals, they often don't verbally communicate it, so I think it's my responsibility as the man to communicate back.

The people they count to come up with their whole number of which they divvy up into districts\seats/representatives I was wrong though, sorry, I apologize. But in principal, it's not a big deal for the reason I gave. You also have to consider voters change their mind and usually vote against the ruling party. I don't see how gerrymandering can or should be so terrifying, the ruling party obviously should get to determine the map, they are the representatives

You don't think its hurtful to her for me to ignore her signals? She's not a daddy issue/flirt/attention needing type girl

Yeah, I'm not pursuing anything, I haven't shown any interest since I found out she had a boyfriend. My concern is she's my friend, women tend to send these signals so that the man will take the next step, and if she's interested I think we should at least have a talk whether we pursue it or not. If she's trying to get my attention women tend to put a lot of effort and energy into that and I think it's uncaring/hurtful to just ignore it either way.

I think for some of us we wouldn't fit in a social circle conducive to that until we shed a lot of crap.

Yeah I don't mean that only "positive" traditions can be unifying. War, raiding, pirating, slavery, coliseums is us against them though. Dog eat dog, american capitalism is us against each other

I actually have positive people in my life now, it's not really that they drag me down by being manipulative or critical, they don't do that at all. But I still tend to take on their beliefs and I need to deprogram often. And people I interact with daily that are critical and manipulative, it's unbelievably surprising to me, but I now enjoy those interactions, I can let those things bounce off me and the reaction from the people seeing that feels meaningful and it's enjoyable to see, like magic. I love being with people, but no more or no less than being alone.

took me years, but a retreat sounds nice.

I don't know if you want it from me but I'll offer you my experience on some of the things you're working on since you're helping me. This is my experience not my advice, I don't believe in following advice, I try to listen to my intuition. Unhealthy stuff, discipline, shame(seems tied to the former) What works for me is just going with it, it gets worse but it seems to teach you what you need to learn. The willpower thing for me prolongs the underlying issue, letting go of the belief(healthy, production, shame) happens when I let it hit me hard, sometimes going to rock bottom, then I'm no longer afraid of health, production, shame. When you're in it deep and then you get a glimmer of joy or bliss popping up spontaneously, it's like the beliefs just fall off like chains. You were the one chaining yourself to health and as counterintuitive as it seems, that causes you to be unhealthy. It seems like a self correcting mechanism in us for positive beliefs, yes they're positive and helpful in society, but they are still beliefs, and all beliefs are limiting.