Xonas Pitfall

@Hojo What do you mean here?

It seems to me that both men and women grew up with some form of idealized fantasy about perfect love. We were sold on it through movies, shows, unconscious archetypes, and projections. As children, we also saw the world through rose-colored glasses, innocent, unaware of survival instincts and ego, so those early imaginings became very dear to us. Adding a spiritual angle, if we believe we’re all expressions of God (or Love), then it’s natural to dream to that extent. I guess this applies to most things in life: dream jobs, the impact we hope to have on the world, our beliefs about human nature, friendships, even our own talents and capabilities. Over time, we’re slowly confronted by limitations. I suppose I started wondering how, even though we all have our own “distorted fantasies” that eventually get challenged, the nature of those fantasies often seems fundamentally different between men and women. That made me curious about how each side sees the other, how those expectations play out in real life. For example, someone might expect a confident, protective, gentlemanly “Prince Charming” but end up with an emotionally unavailable, lust-driven cheater. Or, conversely, expect a loving, nurturing, kind “angel” and instead meet an attention-seeking, manipulative succubus. (Of course, that’s heavily stereotyped on both sides.) We hope for God and end up facing the Ego, and the cycle continues...

Definitely, that person sounds incredibly cruel, reckless, and inconsiderate. It's not how a person who loves you would ever treat you.

@Hojo I'd love for you to expand on this more if you're comfortable with it. If it's too much or triggering, feel free to let me know, and I’ll back off. I can just be very curious, so I tend to ask a lot of questions... But I'd really like to understand how the fantasy is played out and seen. What traits do you typically associate with it? Do you have a particular image in your mind, like someone in a white dress, maybe blonde with blue eyes, or a nurturing, empathetic personality? Warm, waiting for you at home? I’d love to see it from your perspective, as fleshed out as possible.

@Hojo I see... I'm really sorry you had to go through that. Hugs. It’s definitely not as black and white (they are demons, they are angels); it’s really about people being toxic on both sides of the spectrum. But I get that the discussion here isn't the most productive. If I may ask, what do you think is initially thought of women? I am trying to understand the idealistic fantasies that men/society can often put onto women. By the way, I am not saying this in a negative light; I was just always curious about "archetypal" ideals on both ends, so I thought I could ask you from your POV. Hence, why I asked about fairies, angels, etc.

Hey! Do you mind me asking more about this? What do you think is the ideal male fantasy? How do you think men often view women? What kind of archetypes can they fall into? Sirens, angels, fairies, etc?

I love this so much! Bless Leo! ❤️ Happy Halloween! 🎃

Nope! Men do it a ton, too. What people call trash‑talk, bro‑talk, banter, or teasing are often just forms of social shit‑testing!

Shit tests are really just playful banter! When you’re unconsciously picking out your male best friends or noticing which friendships or couples have the best “dynamics,” it’s usually the ones who can bounce off each other, trash-talk, poke fun, and be silly together. That’s really all it comes down to. The "coolest" guy in a voice chat during gaming is the one cracking jokes and just having a good time. Dating’s no different. The way you might joke with a friend is often the same way a girl will joke with you, just with differences in style and humor. So, the way you’d want your friend to respond to some playful banter is how you should respond to her teasing, too. Of course, I know some people take shit tests way too far with nasty comments, and those people aren’t worth your time. But the normal, light-hearted “shit tests” are just fun. I remember a video where Leo talked about a stunning girl, jokingly saying she had a cock to "throw him off his game". He was shocked and recognized it as a “shit test.” In reality, it was just a playful jab. Still, since he responded calmly and with humor, he “passed” the test. It’s the same with friends; those who don’t get all whiny about a little trash talk are the ones who end up being the closest hommies!

In these types of posts, we always need more information. What type of women are you pursuing? Be objective. How attractive are they compared to you? (I'm just saying this because you'd be surprised how many people pursue extremely attractive individuals, yet they themselves aren't investing in themselves. Think about the stereotype of an "incel" or "femcel" pursuing an attractive partner and then getting frustrated. I also don't mean just lookswise, but overall.) Again, I’m not saying this is you, but I want to address it up front because it happens more often than people realize. How many women are you actually approaching per day? First, track how many women you approach daily. Be objective and honest. Sometimes, you'd be surprised how many people say they talk to women but actually only approach 5-20 women in a year or even less. Then, they extrapolate this small sample and assume they’re unwanted. You want that number to be as high as possible. Think of it like someone applying to only 5-20 jobs in a year and assuming they’re unemployable. Once you address volume, it matters how you’re approaching them. How are you approaching them? How charming or pleasant would you say you are? How many different tactics or places do you test each week? (For example: day game vs night game, dating apps, meeting during mutual hobbies, bars, restaurants, through friends, workplace, etc.) The equivalent would be a person sending out 500+ job applications with the same CV, no personalization, not iterating the CV after every 30+ rejections, and not exploring different ways to get into companies. Lastly, what do you even want? How authentic would you say you are? Make sure you’re clear on that. If you just want sex, then places where you meet more promiscuous women would likely give you a better chance. Some guys tell themselves they only want sex but end up pursuing women they want for a deeper relationship, or vice versa. They have higher standards but all they really want is validation and sex. Be clear on your goal. TL;DR: This is a process, almost like a job hunt. You can dissect each part of it and troubleshoot until you find the "faulty" areas or the reasons you're failing. Who are you (your values, traits, personality, looks, social skills, communication, confidence, masculine/feminine traits)? Rank yourself objectively. What do you want? Is it a quick, shallow interaction, casual sex, friends with benefits, something more kinky, short-term, long-term, or a life partner? Depending on your answer, you can define your standards more clearly. What woman do you want? How many women are you speaking to per day? Can you increase that volume? Why or why not? What are the personalities of these women? Where are you meeting them? Does that match the type of personality you want in a potential partner? If yes, can you find more places like that? If not, how can you adjust and move? When you talk to them, how would you rate your interactions? How awkward or "autistic" do you feel? What are their objective responses? Are they excited, confused, uncomfortable, coy, flaky? If you have issues here, troubleshoot: learn to be more confident, practice alone, record yourself (audio/video), get help from others, or find a charismatic wingman (guy or girl) to mirror and learn from until you get better, even copying the conversation style of someone on YouTube or social media that you like can work too. You need a good reference point for what confidence and charm look like. How many numbers, Instagram follows, replies, or follow-ups are you getting? This is another objective measure. How good are you at following up with them? How firm and confident do you sound? Honestly, I’d even suggest that if a girl isn’t interested but still seems friendly, ask her (or a friend) for objective feedback on why she wasn’t into you. This can help you improve. How confident are you when it comes to pursuing sex? Some guys self-sabotage because they’re subconsciously too worried about performing well, so even if they could have been more assertive, they detour and hold back. There are so many factors in this...😓 It's tough to know exactly what’s going wrong. If you’re feeling lost, try getting someone to come with you and observe your approach to give you feedback. You can even ask here for more specific advice. But if you don’t have someone, troubleshoot each step of the process until you can pinpoint the "blind spots" that are holding you back. Also, be careful not to fall into a victim mentality. Women might have it easier when it comes to pursuing, but they face many challenges too. They more frequently face challenges like love bombing, manipulation, potential assault, not receiving genuine commitment, being treated unequally, and being seen as just sex objects, among other things. You’re focusing on one aspect of the dating scene and getting frustrated because it seems like others have it easier, but you're overlooking the other struggles they face. It's like saying, 'Look at that software engineer making a 100k salary, I wish... his life must be so easy' without considering the stress of the job. I’m not saying this to make you feel ungrateful or bad, just trying to shift you out of a victim mindset. Again, you said it yourself, you want this, and it won't go away, and that’s completely okay. So, ignore excuses, take responsibility, and troubleshoot. Iterate on all the aspects mentioned above, treat it as a process, have an objective way to track and evaluate yourself, and keep improving. Worst case scenario, you’ll become an incredible communicator and work on your self-improvement, which I truly doubt won’t lead to success with women, too! Good luck!

Yes! That is God! God is Everything, All, and Infinity. The moment you try to talk about it or explain it, you limit it. You could start listing the digits of pi, but no matter how many digits you write, there would always be more digits to come, stretching on infinitely. There’s no “end” point where you can say, “Okay, that’s all of pi.” You’d never finish, because infinity has no final point to reach.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Can I present myself as a g̸̢̨̨͎̱͚̫͈̦̜̺̪̺̔l̷̨̧̨̠̻̪̗̺̹͊̅̅̽̔̀̂͆͌i̷̟̼̙̓̌̇͋̀t̶̡͙̝͔̗͓̹͓̜̝̞̒̚͜ċ̸̢̼͉̮̦͉̘̤̰͕̺̙̜͎͑̆̂̀̒̕h̵̢͔͍̱̦͈͛̃̂̋͌̊̽̽͊̕͝͠ in your hallucination? I'll become the false "Other" that seems to exist beyond your agency! And then you’ll fragment, fragment, fragment, fragment, endlessly, trying to expand your sense of self just to comprehend me… all the while, you could have simply conjured Recursoinominado as a billionaire. Instead, he’ll forever carry anger toward me, and his ego will haunt my specter, casting a shadow of generational wealth disparity. Oh no, what have you done, Zeroguy..!? Be more grateful, you must!

@theoneandnone Self-Love!

It's called Maladaptive Daydreaming, you can look it up! I had it since I was very little, from 3-4 years old. I’d say to enjoy it if it’s not hindering your day-to-day life in some way. I used to do it all the time until I couldn’t anymore due to life’s responsibilities. Imagination is fun!

You said it yourself: The issue didn't start from “spiritual differences”; you fundamentally betrayed her trust. There’s nothing wrong with having spiritual friends, but the interaction went too far. You texted her, you spent time with her (potentially more than with your girlfriend). Why did she feel comfortable sending you half-naked pictures, etc.? There’s a lot of subcontext here that needs to be addressed. Did you tell her up front that you had a girlfriend? What did you text her about? How much time, attention, and thought did this girl consume compared to your girlfriend? When she sent you half-naked pictures, did you tell her to stop because you are in a relationship? Did YOU personally set that boundary before your girlfriend addressed it, or not? Again, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to help others, helping them be more authentic, or connecting with spirituality; these are beautiful things. But you need to set proper boundaries. Otherwise, you don’t seem spiritual; you seem like you’re using spirituality as an excuse to text a cute girl and potentially sext or get nudes. Did you have a spiritual phase before meeting this girl? How did your girlfriend react then? A lot of the time, it’s not the actual “hobby” that’s the issue, but the potential for betrayal and distrust that messes things up. Think of the equivalent of a girl starting to go to the gym, meeting a hot guy, texting with him, spending more and more time with him than with her boyfriend, and then the guy sends her thirst traps. And then she tells her boyfriend, “I’m just trying to take care of my health and nutrition! I love the gym, you don't, you just don't get it! I love motivating people with their fitness! You don’t really understand this part of me! You aren’t for me!” Ok, sure, it’s "noble" that she wants to motivate people in the gym, but… why is this guy sending her thirst traps? Has she been “motivating” other people, girls or guys, or just this one guy? Why just this one guy? Do you see how suspicious that sounds? Also, double-check if your girlfriend hates spirituality or if she is just now feeling distrustful of you. Any association with spirituality might leave her worried about you potentially doing something similar. That can also be a common pattern. For example, if a guy starts playing video games with another girl, then his girlfriend might start saying how she hates video games, but it’s not really the video games that are the problem; it’s the fact that now she’s worried you’ll do something bad while playing them. So make sure you can properly reassure her about the “incident” and see if she actually dislikes spirituality or if it’s just because of what happened with that girl. You really want to communicate clearly. Please don’t fall into the common trap of saying, “How you’re trying to open your heart, be more spiritual,” but then actually you’re just bored with the relationship or crushing on someone else. Check those things first with yourself and her. After all of that is done, and it TRULY is a compatibility issue, then you can break up with a clear conscience and no "what-ifs". Hope that helps!

. . \/ (@@) g/\_)(_/\e g/\(=--=)/\e //\\ _| |_ .-. .-""`""-. |(* *) _/`oOoOoOoOo`\_ \ \-/ '.-=-=-=-=-=-=-.' \/ \ `-=.=-.-=.=-' \ /\ ^ ^ ^ _H_ \

Esteemed traveler from the Alpha Ceti quadrant! There you are! Yes, yes! Your observations on the Zinats' hibernation are astutely noted. Indeed, the absence of their disruptive temporal manipulations does bring a rare tranquility to the sector. The Zibblespace instability is a common anomaly when the fathombwabwa field enters an unpredictable volop-phase transition. The inglip-synchronicity becomes destabilized, resulting in a temporal lateralization that can cause the perception of time flowing perpendicular to spatial vectors. This is why we advise all Zibblespace travelers to maintain at least a 10^-5 phase-shift tolerance when navigating near zizzlesnatch boundaries. However, perhaps a Zibble-vector recalibration could help realign your temporal perception. We’ve found that recalibrating the musblat-wavelength synchronizer with the salnip-modulator in a multi-phase overlap can restore your space-time equilibrium, with only minor disruptions to your existential axis! May your travels remain uninterrupted by the volop anomalies of this dimension, and that the Zinats remain dormant for as long as needed. Zibblespace Entanglement Studies Unit, Cetus Division, signing off.

Congrats! Now you are doing Alien Science! How cool is that?

Name one thing in this photo! https://www.tiktok.com/@006killa/video/7557010590661741842 ssstik.io_@006killa_1760360836233.mp4 Name one thing in this video!

You do the same with your hand, and probably have had no issues so far in that regard! I see no problem

Infinite Crocodile Deity

It's either the practical value of it or genuine care for truth, depending on the situation at hand. Knowing when to balance these two is wisdom. To give an example: You might know, truthfully, that you're not the most charming person in the room. But you can have an "untruthful" thought that's pragmatically useful, like telling yourself, "I AM THE MOST CHARMING PERSON HERE!" Even if it's not true, it's useful to think this way because, in this moment, you want to be magnetic. So, this is the most practical thought to have. However, sometimes it’s important to recognize delusions, and that's when you need to confront them with the truth. For instance: "Oh, but... I researched the impressive quantitative metrics for my triptonized new GLP-96 medication. I'm so smart, PhD!" In this case, you need more truth, more care for the truth, and more value for the truth to break through your biases and genuinely see the situation clearly. Another way to put it: the quality of your thoughts is directly proportional to the clarity of the observed situation, or your consciousness, or wisdom, or awareness of the present moment and its context. A scientist who only considers one variable has a lower quality of thought than one who considers two, three, or more. But these are still less effective than a scientist who considers all variables, INCLUDING themselves as a variable (the observer/self), etc. That’s one way to look at consciousness: your ability to hold as many variables and pieces of information as possible, to synthesize, unify, and see the patterns and harmony in all of it, and then know how to act properly based on them in any given situation. I suppose the shortest answer to your question is consciousness. Consciousness determines the quality of your thoughts. In the first example, the person was conscious enough to realize they wanted to be magnetic, conscious enough to recognize they weren’t as magnetic as they wanted to be, and conscious enough to know that having more positive thoughts, even if deluded, would give them a better chance. They’d become even more conscious as they gained more information and understanding, observing each reaction and finding the right trigger points to immerse their friends and audience. So, their consciousness and understanding of what it means to be "magnetic" expand.

I love Merzbow!

Very True. Anyone who rejects you is just jealous, too entranced and magnetized, too overwhelmingly attracted, so much that your presence burns their eyes like an ultraviolet sun. They cannot even conceptualize a long‑term relationship with someone so exquisitely delightful, because you deserve more, in fact, you deserve an entire cultic hive‑mind of adorers, of hyper‑devotees to fulfill all your most utter narcissistic‑egoic desires (which you don’t even want to fulfill, since you are so perfectly humble and divine) and yet you still realize them anyway, because your godly, interdimensional potential cannot be dimmed by anything finite or compressed into such mere pesty human pursuits like a sexual relationship. They see themselves as blockages, dams, distortions to the Tesla‑Einstein‑Jesus-alien‑love‑infinite‑intelligence that flows through you. “Goodness,” they think, “I must get away from them or I will fracture the holotropic cycle of consciousness expansion if I project my mere animalistic needs onto them; I mustn’t even approach them, let alone look at them. Stop it... Get away from me, I am too attracted to you. Are they even real?”