Razard86

When I was small my next door neighbor was a young guy named Antonio. Antonio was about 3 years older than me and a big guy. This guy made fun of me everyday. In the neighborhood, at the bus stop, on the bus (even had the bus driver laughing). When I went to school, I got made fun of in the classroom as well. Then get on the bus made fun of there until I got home. I have a twin brother, we are not close. Why? Because my Dad pitted us against each other and my twin brother actually took it seriously. Anyway this type of life continued for me. I got into fights in almost every grade, always a bully would attack me and I defend myself. This happened until the 11th grade when I met my first real friend in my entire life (still friends to this day) and got to experience what it was like to have a friend. Why was this suffering the best thing ever? One it taught me the depths of emotional pain one was capable of feeling. I've felt the lowest of the low, I know exactly what it feels like to feel that you are all alone, that nobody cares about you, that it was better had you never been born! This is why I laugh on the forums when many ignorantly assume I don't know suffering. I didn't have my first real friend until I was 16 years old. I was bullied and fought every year, my own twin brother didn't accept me, and my Dad constantly told me I was stupid and treated me like he regretted me being born. Through all this I always had a desire to NEVER be like the people who treated me like this. Through this I had a desire and curiosity to find out WHY people acted like this. I became an observer, I got into history, sociology, psychology, and every event from those tough days is what led me to who I am today. Because of my suffering I was forced to be alone. Because of my suffering I never tried to fit in. It turned me into an individual, it taught me to think for myself, and most of all it taught me to love myself when I felt nobody else did. YOU SEE? You see how my suffering was my greatest blessing? It taught me to love myself when nobody else did!!! How is that not the greatest love? So think again when you throw accusations of "You don't know my pain, or you haven't suffered!" I was told I was an unwanted presence for the first 16 years of my life. I have been in over 20 fights, and I have been jumped twice! When I got jumped two guys I thought I was cool with... WATCHED AND DID NOTHING!!! I've loaned a ridiculous amount of money to people, never to have them pay me back. I have every reason under the sun to hate people, to be resentful, and fearful. I'm not saying this to be self-righteous, I'm saying what I discovered through my suffering....is that love conquers all. One day you might learn why suffering happens, if you pay attention to the lesson it is trying to teach you. I have some other dark stories...I may share later on who knows. But love is so wonderful, its why I wake up everyday truly content and at peace.

Go back and read your comment. You quoted DefinitelyAR and put it as my quote.

Well I would say the symbol of shame = Clothes. Humans wear clothes obviously partially because of temperature control but also because of shame. Babies run around naked because they have not yet been indoctrinated with shame. I'm not advocating for us to get rid of clothes obviously, but many people cannot bear to look at their own naked bodies, and the judgments they have of themselves they just project vomit it onto other people. Also suffering is the only problem, you can only suffer if you feel unworthy. All pain= unworthy and this even is true for physical pain. Why do we run from pain? Because it doesn't feel good, it hurts, and we do not feel we are strong enough to bare it. This means we believe pain is stronger than us and thus we run. So you cannot create a distinction between suffering and unworthiness. If you felt capable to bare anything, then you wouldn't have fear, you wouldn't have shame, and you wouldn't suffer. All shame, suffering is an acknowledgment that something is superior to you. Of course there is nothing wrong with any of this...it is what it is.

I'm aware of this, I've studied this stuff for over 10 years. I could write a book about it if I wanted too. Since we are dealing with infinity...the layers of concealment...are so deep and complex...it could take millennia to unearth how his interactions influence something as simple as a migraine from them watching a commercial episode or hearing certain music lyrics. So yeah I know about that whole ordeal, but the point I'm making is that suffering teaches the recipient why kindness is a virtue by having you experience what it feels like to be treated unkindly. Obviously one would have to work through their fear and judgment to be able to not spread suffering to others, but the lesson has been learned. Its literally been branded into your being.

Well that is a deep question. Every POV has truth because every POV is literally truth, it just is seeing and experiencing truth from a particular perspective. As a POV grows its ability to see truth expands, so yes Buddhism holds truth. The problem is Buddhism doesn't incorporate the Love aspect of reality, it emphasizes the void, the nothingness, but it doesn't emphasize that the nothingness is also desire, which is Love. It doesn't emphasize that the void is desire, but desire at the highest level, the desire that is without distinction, infinite peace. The ultimate truth, is there are no levels, no progress, and every POV is always equal no matter what it does. That everything is just a game, a play, and the only reason awakening exists is to become aware of this. After that, you can pretty much live your life how you wanted because now you can finally live in peace. Most don't get authentic rest until their dream ends, with awakening you can rest in the present moment. So yes Buddhism holds truth, but they forget the love aspect/don't emphasize it.

Many of you are still attached to the concept of an other. But notice...every other....is always experience within. The sound of their voice....within. Their smell within. Their physical touch within. Their presence and energy within. Its funny...how you play this silly identity game. When you are angry at them, you call your anger their fault. So you give them ownership of your anger. You only feel anger, because they are the catalyst, the anger you feel was THRUSTED upon you, it just HAPPENED to you. But!!!! The sound of the voice you hear, and all other perception.....you claim that perception is your own creation, but the representation of that perception...is THEM!!!! So let's get this straight....the vision you have is YOURS. The ability to smell is YOURS. The ability to feel touch is YOURS. The ability to feel emotion is YOURS. Okay....but an object cannot be perceived....without perception. So the absence of vision is the absence of visual objects, the absence of smell is the absence of stinky and fragrants, the absence of physical touch is the absence of physical matter, etc.. So then...if perception is yours....then perception is you. And if perception brings forth reality.....then reality is YOU. You play these identity games of this is me, but that is other....and its complete and utter nonsense!! There is no external universe, there is no inside or outside, its all just there. There is no filter or barrier, only illusions of space, distance, etc. When you close your eyes....you perceive no distance, no height none of that, but if you keep it closed and start dreaming.....all of that unfolds. So if you can close your eyes right now, and distance, height, etc. can emerge,.....then how is that any different with YOUR EYES OPEN!!! You play these silly little games...oh when I close my eyes its different, but when my eyes are open.....THATS WHEN ITS REAL!!! LOL! So funny!!! How childish you are!!! What is this PEEK A BOO? Close my eyes....not real, open my eyes its real!!!! Just like a baby!!! The truth? They are the same...they are just different in their expression. You see when water is hot or cold, it is expressed differently...but you don't say....oh hot water is fake but cold water is real!!! But if you closed your eyes right now....and imagined water you would say its fake right? But if you fall asleep, and your dream became vivid enough....the water in that dream is REAL!!!! Right until you wake up!!! NOW its fake again, ONLY because you woke up!!! You see? When will you own up to these silly little arbitrary flimsy rules!!! You are bullshitting and making it up, and you can't even keep it together!! What is real? What is imaginary? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!! You don't have a line, you keep moving it and if you get fooled enough its real!!! So real is what you believe, and fake is what you believe. That's it!!! No different than a master con artist that fools you into believing his con. Its all real.....until the jig is up!!! So stop this silly questioning you already know the answer. It took modern science decades to admit...that all science is entangled with the measurer....NO DUH scientists!!! When you conduct science....it will always be entangled with your perception!! Why? Because it is all perception!!! That perception is just MIND, its all MIND. Stop playing these games....you cannot escape MIND, MIND is all there is and will ever be. But you sure do love trying to construct more hide and seek games huh? Want some more PEEK A BO? When will it get old?

Yes its an interesting game God plays with itself. Its why I get why the Buddha sees everyone as awakened already. When I talk to friends about this stuff...when it starts making too much sense....they RUN. Be like oh yeah I gotta go. One of my friends was like oh shoot that makes too much sense the other day and told me he had to run!!! LOL. God knows the truth on the unconscious level but will only awaken when they are ready. Its why each ego needs to understand it wanted to be here. I know it doesn't feel like that...but its true.

Exactly, its holographic, so everywhere you look, everything is always contained within everything.

Yoooo that quote wasn't my quote lol....

The funny thing is I think something like this would work for a short time since social media likes sensationalism. But we have to follow it with some REAL work to be taken seriously. But yeah....more criticism. Notice how when you like someone...you don't like to seem them take criticism? Its fine look at their criticism as compliments if it helps. TRUST ME every criticism is well-meaning, I just forget sometimes. When people truly don't care about you, they will ignore you, they will wipe you out from their existence either by force or through complete ignorance/blocking of you.

I agree, it is because of my Dad that I don't seek authority figures or put others on pedestals. For a large part of my life I seeked the approval of my Dad. It wasn't until my mid 20's when I realized that no matter what I did he would never love me or completely accept me and that was okay. When I released my desire for his approval it was like a weight was released off my shoulders. I had a close friend who let me vent about it a couple years ago and I was able to get those feelings out. I saw my Dad recently a couple weeks ago, the man doesn't even look me in the eye. I don't resent him at all, but for some reason he seems to resent me. But yes my Father is a huge reason for my desire to be loving and kind and you should see my siblings!! Because of my Dad they all have a desire to be as loving and kind as possible to their children. So my Dad's actions had the opposite effect on his children!! My Mom was loving but she worked a lot and was usually too tired to intervene a lot. He has inserted a lot of pain in my immediate family. Now this isn't to demonize him, he has done some good things too but a lot of people in my family don't like him. Also when my grandfather (his father) was on his death bed he refused to speak to him because my grandfather once told my Dad to be nice to me and he took it personally and made a vow to never speak to him. My Dad does that. If he gets mad at you he just won't speak to you, for years. Kind of crazy to me, but it is what it is.

^This I agree with, sex is definitely the best way to pin a woman down as far as her wanting to keep you in her life. But this is usually because most men don't know how, or aren't patient enough to get a woman to climax. As a result any guy that is good at sex is kept in most woman's lives even if they are not together until either she finds a man that she wants to settle down with or finds a guy who is better at sex than him. So no argument for me, but if that guy has a deep emotional connection with her on top of sex in general he will have her locked down for life. A secret most don't know is the goal is not just a physical and emotional connection, its also spiritual as well. If a man and a woman can connect on that level...that's when their relationship will become otherworldly.

Exactly!! Awakening doesn't get rid of shadows, many people assume that. It does however provide a process to purge them more effectively than conventional methods and they are usually easier to uncover.

Every POV is born with strengths and weaknesses. But there is one undeniable gift that every POV has that is impossible for anyone to obtain....your POINT OF VIEW. Picture this....within infinity..your specific POV is the only type of its kind that will ever exist. Do you recognize what this means? It means your POV is INVALUABLE!!! I tell all my friends....work on your point of view. Cultivate it!! Master it!!! Do it so much...that you have a unique style that cannot be found ANYWHERE!!! I know Leo likes to say humans are stupid, and from one perspective you could definitely say it, no argument there. But the flip side is also true, humanity are geniuses!!! How so? It takes a genius to be so utter foolish!!! You see, to constantly do stupid things and NOT learn, you have to be so smart that you can delude yourself!!! When you practice uncovering your self-delusions you will realize how ingenious you are at fooling yourself. And this genius....RUNS ON AUTOPILOT!!! But I digress, every single one of you has genius in you, you have just been programmed to believe yourself ordinary!!! Which is HILARIOUS!!! You have no idea how silly it is to ever think you are ordinary. Here are some fun facts about me. My Dad told me I was stupid repeatedly when I grew up. He constantly told me that I didn't have any real talents and downplayed all my achievements. Luckily....I didn't allow him to convince me that I was ordinary!!! As I walked through life, several people often told me I was LAME, AND BORING!! Good thing....I didn't listen to them!! You see? There are always going to be people in your life who try to convince you that you are ordinary. Why? Because they think themselves ordinary!!! Let me ask you a question....do you really believe an Infinite Intelligence.....creates ordinary? Or is it.....that its creations are so got damn ingeniously created that they APPEAR ordinary? Your POV is the only one of its kind that will ever exist so what you offer yourself and others is a perspective that can never be duplicated. It can be recontextualized, it can be repeated, but YOU are the original lense through which it was expressed!!! You are the instrument of Infinity...will you allow Infinity to play its music through you that can only be played by you? Or will you wallow in self-pity and judgment!!! Stop comparing your gifts and downplaying them!!! Here are some examples!!! You could be a good listener!!! People say that isn't a good talent!!! Its LAME!! Have you not noticed great listeners are really good at doing things like Interviews, Psych Evaluations, Detective Work, just to name a few. So listening is a GREAT TALENT!!! You could be a very honest person!! People say oh that's a lame talent!!! Again....you are not being creative with how it can be applied. Notice that honest people....can see things others can't!! Why? Because a commitment to honest allows you to overcome your bias and self-deception!!! So honesty would make you a better philosopher, politician (if only humanity realized this) leader, friend, etc. Maybe you are good at encouraging others or making them feel comfortable. This means you could be good at work in hotels, hospitals, clubs, or just good at being someone who can comfort someone when they are down. Maybe look into being a personal coach, or motivational speaker. Maybe you are good at drawing!!! You can use your art to speak and express how you see the world. Its not just important to draw, but to draw what you are perceiving THE WAY you see it!!! That would be your signature style!! So be creative, and share your creativity!!! If you have not realized your genius....it is because you have allowed other depressed geniuses to convince you that you are not a genius. You might say....well what about POV born with Down Syndrome how are they geniuses? Explain that one!!! Easily!!! There mere presence teaches you to be compassionate and reveals how you take certain things for granted as easy or common sense. Its just reality....nudging you that you are always playing a comparison game which keeps you asleep from how wonderful and amazing you are!! You are amazing, own it, if you are not waking up everyday and realizing how amazing you are.....you are living life wrong. But if you can find out how amazing you are....you will also gain a new ability....the ability to see the amazing in OTHERS!!!

But this Youtuber took a powerful book called the 48 Laws of Power and applied it to the Anime Death Note. Now in his intro he paints life as this dark, sinister world that you must overcome by learning how power works....this is so funny. I'll share this video for the people who still see life/dream like this as it will help you burn through your karma faster. Couple of points I know you will ignore....but they will linger in the back of your mind. 1. Everyone is your mirror. Everything has an equal and opposite reaction, and things rise and fall. Impermanence is the operative force....so any power you have will have to be constantly maintained and if it was obtained through ruthless manipulation you will have to keep that game up. Good luck with that. 2. The Protagonist in this Anime who he talks about...welll....I'll post the link to the ending of the anime. Don't watch it if you haven't seen it.

Giving away authority. The most common activity of egos. Egos always pedestalize something. Egos run around looking for something to admire all because it feels unworthy. If you tell the average ego it is God it wouldn't believe over the constant battering of its self-talk. It's self talk is so normalized in its direct experience that it is weak and unvaluable that it runs on autopilot outside of its own awareness. Alot of you on the forums don't like my style because you lack self-love. You don't believe in yourself and constantly get triggered and want things to be nice. When has reality ever been completely nice? Spirituality is about integrating your trauma, is that nice? Spirituality is about dealing with adversity as it comes is that nice? Spirituality is about learning to expand your point of view is that nice? Spirituality is about accepting vulnerability and being okay being vulnerable is that nice? It is about DEATH to all that you identify with is that nice? It's about the dissolution of all meaning and purpose in search for the absolute is that nice? Spirituality is not a club, it's not a hangout spot, it's the highest form of therapy. What's the number one rule of therapy? Face the truth. Whatever is there face it. I discovered Spirituality in December of last year. This is not to brag, but the growth you are capable of making is staggering if you take this work seriously. Would you all please ? give yourselves some got damn love. Speak good of yourself. Just practice it, do it for a week. One week is that too much? Can you please stop thinking others are better than you? Please? Is the brainwashing that severe? Must you constantly erect infallible heroes who you believe you will never equal? If you study ANY of your heroes seriously you will discover they were flawed as ALL hell. I know a lot of you don't take truth seriously enough because you would know that by now. Go read the autobiographies of the people you admire. Really study them, I mean it! You do that enough you will awaken to the fact they are no different than you. They struggle with the same fears and judgments. I've already said before that only awakening can free you from it. But many of you would do better to just pursue therapy and leave Spirituality alone. If you are not ready to potentially go insane and destabilize your reality.....leave this stuff alone...otherwise you may regret it.

Thanks for sharing, that was a powerful post!! If you are open to it, maybe you can share how your past has shaped you and how you overcame some things? Also my past was even rougher than I let on. If I really talked about my childhood truly in depth...it would depress a lot of people on the forum. Its why I laugh when I hear people say I don't understand suffering, lol suffering was my best friend!! Its why I am so tough on people cultivating a mindset out of victimhood because it will ruin your life. I have watched it first hand ruin a lot of people close to me. My Dad for instance has basically pushed everyone out of his life and he is alone and grumpy because he crafted a victim storyline that he cannot escape from. You can get away with that story a little when you are young, but if you keep it up you will die alone, unless there is someone with the patience of a saint to deal with you. Anyway don't feel bad for me, my suffering was my blessing. I hate going through suffering like anybody else, but suffering is literally the greatest thing that ever happened to me because it taught me love the hard way. If only people could realize that is all suffering does.

Women need to be able to look up to their man. So a woman erects a storyline in her mind of the guy that she is with. If he ever violates her story in such a way that he appears weak to her...she will lose respect for him. If a woman loses respect for her man, she will lose attraction for him. This means she no longer views him the way she once did. Men are different, as long as a woman is hot, and they don't have too much conflict and he gets a steady diet of sex, food, and peace and quiet the man is fine. But women want to enjoy a deep emotional connection with her man that culminates in sex. If a man destroys the fantasy that a woman has built up in her head of who her man is....yeah. Its why a lot of times for a man to reignite the passion a woman has for him he has to create distance so she can get a chance to drop her old image of him in her head and he can create a new one for her.

Questions would be something different. I would prefer criticisms or critiques. Also most of these questions...go against one of my rules which is again the ego's desire to look for credentials, which then start the process of handing their authority over to another because they fit some standard. 1. I've already called myself a fool and a bullshitter so why should you care about any of this? The messenger doesn't matter, only the message. Judge the message. The only reason I am asking for criticism is to see how I can better communicate the message. But only the message matters.

^^^ Amazing!! Just take it one day at a time. No judgments on yourself or others and if you judge them or yourself don't judge the judgment! You got this!

YESSS!!! I love this reply!!!! Keep it up!!! Keep observing!!! I love when people are able to observe and learn more about themselves. Obviously I would like for people to use it for self-development but if they don't who cares!!! I just want people to raise in awareness, that alone will start the process anyway.

While I agree, the problem is we were never sane to begin with, we only pretend to be.

I appreciate the response...but I believe the solution...is found in simplicity. I do not believe its found in the concept of a negative consequence. It is human nature to problem solve, as you have suggested. But if all you see is problems...then problems is all you will find. I also agree that the most nurturing state is that where nature is left to its own devices...so how do we cooperate WITH nature versus going against it. I think that is our solution. Not seeing how to fix nature, but understand how to become aligned with it. Our perspective I believe is to study how nature works and set our task to facilitating it more. The great thing is, majority of the ancient religions had a focus on nature, and I believe humanity is on the trajectory of returning back to that mindset. Basically we are slowly but surely coming back full circle and we are going to integrate everything we currently know with what we used to know. Its funny, what we use to collectively think is primitive, archaic traditions, is going to be the key to our survival.

Humanity created walls to protect themselves from their enemies. They said "YES WE ARE SAFE!!" Then...they created enemies within the walls!!!! The call them criminals!!!!. Then...because they wanted more variety within their walls, they traveled to other civilizations and either traded with them or tried to conquer them and add them to what they have. Humanity created a house, with air conditioning, and heating. But this makes it harder for them to deal with the weather outside. So they curse the weather and say....the weather has been bad lately I wish it could stop raining. Then it stops raining and all the crops die and they pray for rain. Then it gets hot and they say its too hot!!! I wish it would stop being so hot!! So then the sun stops shining as much, it rains less, and the crops die off again and then pray for sunlight. Humanity created vehicles to travel, escalators and elevators so they don't have to walk as much, they grow their own food and they breed their own meat, and then they complain about being fat and overweight. When humanity could barely get enough food they complained about being skinny and how hard it was to get food!! So they complain when they get too much food, they complain when they have too little food. When people are collectively struggling, they band together and look out for each other because they need numbers and cooperation to survive. When they get a surplus, they steal from each other, sabotage each other, and try to stop the other from advancing more than the other. Humanity creates wireless technology and the internet and increase their ability to connect even better than before!!! Then humanity complains that they are even more disconnected than they were before!! Why is it that when humanity tries to solve a problem....they create another problem? BECAUSE THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS!!! The only problem... is the BELIEF IN PROBLEMS!!! We all know that if the human race was wiped off from Earth...Earth would function with no issues? So how can there be issues? Humans CREATE ISSUES!! This is so obvious....yet we deny this and pretend that there are still problems!!! How long do you want to stay on this hamster wheel? Maybe Allan Watts can point to this better than me. He is very poetic and smooth after all.

If it wasn't for women, I would have never discovered that I wasn't rational. I would have still assumed that I was sane, and rational. Men are taught that emotions are a hindrance for getting things done. I have a friend who is still in that mindset and life is slowing teaching him that he cannot suppress his emotion from him having a fiancé and a young boy. Sadly some men don't learn this and either end up with estranged relationships with their children and wife, or killing themselves.