Toby

I personally wouldn't do it and just do the retreat. I remember someone at a retreat who did I guess Ayahausca weeks or month before and then was overwhelmed by what she experienced and what unfolded. The teacher - afair - told her to feel what's good for her but skip the meditation sessions because it would be too strong. She should instead maybe go into the woods and find a tree that could help her (and ask the tree before) or do some Yoga/TaiChi that would ground her. It wasnt a vipassana retreat though (only 6-7 meditation sessions a day). But I would just do the retreat and really take that in. I would rather do the psychedelics afterwards, not before.

Alcoholics or heroin addicts are like this: "man, I would like to stop, I mean, it's maybe not good for me" "then stop" "man, but it feels so good" "really?" "maybe not, but is it even possible to quit?" "of course, but there will be withdraw symptoms and you might have to face and own the craving that comes" "hmmm, you don't understand, I first have to do more drugs before I can quit". Endless circles. This is normal for addiction of any kind. And the sexual drive and the addiction to thought is imo the strongest addiction there is for any human. From my own experience with masturbation I know it's possible to stop (at least for most of the time or large intervalls), even at 20. By "accident" I was in a hospital at that age and was more or less forced to stop because there were other people in the room. And so I experienced the need to do it, but I just didn't do it. So, I know, it's possible. Cravings may come in waves, but that's okay too. Just don't make it an issue. Make it a non-issue. Interest in porn and wanking will stop by itself. Or not. You never know.

If you want to read an introduction into everything that has to do with enlightenment, you could check out "The Way of Liberation". It has 53 pages and it condensed and as straight forward as possible. The good thing: you can find it for free here.

http://www.dlshq.org/download/pranayama.pdf

Easy: just stop it.

What exactly is the question here?

Just a side note: Relationship is something different than plain seduction/"pickup". It's good to discriminate from what place advise is given.

Ebooks, because in these times they are easy to read on Laptop/Phone/Tablet. Easy to transport and take them with you or access maybe the kindle-cloud on your phone. And also they are easier to buy. One click and you can read them.

You can also listen to music that quietens your mind, which then helps you to meditate instead of activating thinking too much like a lot of music does.

There is a reason why some Zen teachers do retreats in former concentration camps like Auschwitz.

Cool, that you had the opportunity to go there. Did you go to the Sivananda Ashram or Anandamayi Ma Samadhi?

I would seek out places and groups that reflect your interests. Chances are higher that you find someone that matches you there than in some random place.

Btw: I was once given a holy mantra by a real and authentic master. The mantra is: "fuck you".

@Tancrede Pouyat what mom? she doesn't exist either...

Anyone who really investigates will find out that there are a lot of people that don't eat any more.

as if that was true...

Regarding "healing" (physical,psychological or spiritual): sit in the presence of a master and say afterwards that it is just "placebo". I have no doubt that such things exist and are common but the really good ones don't even talk about it because it would distract people. But of course, there is a lot of bullshit out there as well.

What do you do besides meditation and so on in your life right now? Do you also do things that ground you like more ordinary things like work or school?

Well, I did check out the material some 1-2 years ago, because Bentinho was constantly referring to it and I guess Bashar/Abraham in addition to more classic Advaita teachings. I found it to be the moste nondual and oneness based channelling I've come across. But it wasn't something I felt going in more deeply so far.

That's the material that Bentinho Massaro also includes in his teachings, right?

key is to not do anything regardless if you are doing a retreat or doing a lot of external stuff.

Ramana Maharshi: Collected Works, Be As You Are Nisargadatta Maharaj: Every book you can find. Adyashanti: Every book. For his teaching in a condensed form you can download "the way of liberation" for free.

For me it is more about depth. Sitting in meditation or with a master. Or binding my shoelaces. Nothing compares when it hits you that this is it.