Optimized Life

20.12.25 My mind, its thinking and writing patterns has gone back to its hemostatic state, overthinking, waffling, saying too much. The world rewards Functional intelligence, not verbosity, not talking shit. I need to reground this journal because its a reflection of regrounding myself. I made a life long commitment to Te, numbers, metrics, goal setting, key priorities and results, decisiveness, regular feedback, fast action, change, accomplishing things, getting results, proving it, and being a useful grounded person. Not wasting my life, living it, getting shit done, getting the money, getting in shape. Nothing else matters. I reckon only 0-1 people on this forum actually read my shit and care about my posts? and why? because I talk so much fucking nonsense. I'm not trying to become Leo, I find the 5% gold in leos work and weaponise it for > Maximum sex, maximum power, maximum money, maximum aura, maximum mental strength, maximum longevity, maximum fun, maximum skill, maximum health. Thats it, theres nothing else to fucking do! Lets go 20.12.25 Restarting : No sugar (including juice or honey) Day 1 No Fap day 1 14/15 > 11% BF Day 1 Make $1,000 today List all items to sell Approach if I go out

Te Journal Te ONLY Goals/Targets Daily Action/Metrics Trajectory W or L day 1. OUTCOME Goals : 180 - 185 Pounds, 11 - 12% body fat Get to 12% bodyfat precisely 30 days. Guaranteed 5K remote monthly income with maximum 40 hours of working Write 1 book 30 days. No Fap day 100 30 Day Reprogramming & Visualization + No Fap Magnetism 2. INPUTS Goals 6 Straight weeks of clean digestible chicken healing diet, NO more reactions Track calories and Diet plan - lose bf from 15-16% > 11-12% within 4-8 weeks. Cold approach minimum 5 women per day, every single day, no matter the context or logistics 1* Night game per week minimum, sober without alcohol 20 minutes of book writing per day Te Sheets journal - Track everything daily & daily review. 30 Day Reprogramming & Visualization + No Fap Magnetism - Start magnetism work every evening No Fap - Stay on track with kyrptonite life savers to prevent impuslive faps - find strategies like inmediately walking upon an urge ect..

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19.12.25 Valerian Hangover day 2 report 40-60% Recovered Brain fog 60-80% lifted Energy 50-70% recovered Focus ability, slightly recovered, still shaky Weird, wired/confused feeling, still there, just less intense. ^ Assigning a "% recovery" with valerian hangover is completely futile and random. I had a big energy rebound this morning and was pumped, followed by a sudden and Harsh crash and fog. This is what happens I supposed when GABA has been manipulated in any way. People love to shit on stimulants but its misdirected, I would take a couple lines of cocaine over this every single time, and I would rather my 14 year old daughter snort 4 lines of coke then take valerian, again and again. Because coke is predictable, it's functional, it's short lived, and only harmful in extreme doses or if you're addicted. Whereas sedatives, psychoactive, random pharmacy products are extremely unpredictable, sometimes impacting people for days and weeks. Putting Meth aside (which isn't a mere stimulant, but a real psychoactive) stimulants like caffeine, cocaine, although can cause issues are at least psychologically and cognitively predictable. Exceptions & nuance aside, stimulants will always be the safest category. No one is getting a week of brain fog or mentally ill from drinking starbucks. Psychoactives, sedatives, Benzos, Psychedelics, WEED, NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOnonononoon NONONONONONONONONONO NOONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING NNOOO STOP NORMALIZING THESE LEO STOP NORMALIZIGN WEED Anything to worry about? No But if I still feel like this in 3 days, then it will be concerning. Valerian is actually dirtier and more unpredictable than prescription benzos It's "natural dude it's from a plant good for sleep broo" It being from a plant makes it more unpredictable, each pill or bottle could have random strength levels & varying growing conditions, side effects have very high individual variability. I got tricked basically. Easy to be fooled by legal, easily accessible, Online, shelved or OTC pharamacolgy because it seems so safe and neutral. I bought a minoxidl product 6 months ago and did not tripple check the label properlly. It actually had added in it Tretinoin, which is the a highest strength retinoid. Some residue when to my facial skin and 6 months later, I STILL now have redness hyper reactivity to basic products like moisturiser which I never had before and always had good skin, its not a permanent issue but now I have to fucking, see a dermatologist, and spend weeks to months intentionally resolving it and removing the sensitivity and barrier damage. Whats so annoying is retionid is completely unnecessary and often harmful for hair loss, yet these careless bastards casually put it in their products, why do peope do this and overcomplicate shit, minoxidil, finatasride and microneedlign are known to be the magic 3 that work with very marginal if any side effects for 95% of people. But these bastards are probably rationalist dorks who went to some big university, and follow some linear thinking algorithim "more = better, stronger = better, separate from competion = use higher strength additives. God I hate fucking dorks

Late alcohol, late caffeine, late nicotine, stress or a combination of all of those ... None of that compares to the valerian hangover. Valerian is fucking awful I have never felt so weird, drained Post valerian day literally feels like : Like ur brain is "running up hill", normally you're on flat plain, but now, your brain, and all the cells & mitochondria in your body have to run on a steep incline, and you need 4 fucking litres of pineapple juice just to do basic tasks. I asked chatgpt how it works In the EU & the west, basically any supplement or drug, the bar for it being legal and bought in store/online is literlaly "does it literally poison a healthy person?" if no > sell it. As long as it isn't ricin, it can be sold THey dont give a shit if it causes brain fog, terrible sleep anger, a hangover for 48 hours, But I'm not a moron so thankfully i just threw it away and wont take it again It's kinda scary though Imagine you took something legal like this and you just never came back, like you have brain fog for months Very unlikely ... But still, playing with drugs is scary man, fuck that shit.

18.12.25 Took valerian yesterday when I didn't even need it, I was tired enough to sleep but wanted a shorcut because im always trying to control everything too much Regret it Woke up feeling really weird and tired, still do hours later, feel sedated and hazed. It definitely reduces sleep quality and has unperdictable side effects I dont gijv shit what the "studies say" Its not good or safe

An amalgamation of World Class Ideas from a 130 IQ Brain

This is 1 of the most interesting "Indirect self help", or "Not self help" videos from leo i've found in a while. BUT only 5-10% of the video or less. I skipped most of it. I value my time and energy. 95% of it isn't relevant to me, but the 5% is still gold, its always like this with Leos weird complex videos. Have to be open minded enough to search for gold though What he reminded me of : That real intelligence is not IQ, that "uneducated" people shouldn't be under-estimated, that intuition is far more important than formal logic, that massive life experience, pattern recognition, intution, observation, introspection, self awareness, observing others, creativity, experimentation, open mindedness, exploration, counter-intuitiveness, emotional intelligence are far more relevant and superior to formal knowledge, reading books, academia, and blindly copying others formal steps and advice. This doesnt mean that logic and education/quantification, rule guidance aren't important, they still are, but they're just the basics, and extremely limited on their own. Very interesting to explore the nuance of intelligence, Leo is basically the jeff bezos of meta-cognition ... He also reminded me of the power of just sort of, letting lose & being instinctive, in your body, not trying to be smart, not trying to constantly be strategic or overthink, going with your intuition, jumping into things. NTPs often simply get lost in their mind .. many never make it out. Its often not good for game, for women, for making money ect.. because logical thinking is only a small subset and often just the jump start of a progressive succesful sequence of steps, 8/10 of those steps are more instinctive, in the moment. You dont strategize how to become good at tango dance, you just grab your balls and turn up to class, grab a woman hand and start, embrace being a beginner, and you get good over time, more you think the slower you learn

17.12.25 Only 1 variable to handle now, priority shifted again : SLEEP SLeep arc guess from memory 6H> 4-5H > 5H > 6H > 5H > 9H > 7H-7.5H . 5.5H This is the pattern from the last 7-10 days. For the 9H & 7H days : I did not have any meaningful late caffiene after 10-11AM (e.g 1 coke zero at 1PM max, thats about 30MG) Yesterday : I broke my discipline & deluded myself "2nd coke zero + almost approx 70 grams of 70% dark chocolate" at 5PM ^ That adds up to anywhere from 30MG + 40MG to 30MG + 60MG > so could be a full 90MG caffiene since I had so much choco The dark chocolate brand is also impure, full of additives & likely other stimulants like theobromine. Random high calorie meals 8-10PM Late screens & mental stimulation at 10PM - 12AM Its these "tiny" slips that ruin it My 9H 7H days clearly had clean cut caffiene cutoffs and a wind down Now what was the core trigger that caused this loss of discipline : Desire to "grind it out" & inability to cope with/impatience with getting tired (which is expected after a week of sleep debt) I have to just have more patience "Grinding it out" yesterday gained me little but cost me maybe a 50-100% productivity loss for ALL of today. It's a terrible decision. And after a week of sleep debt & other stuff, your body simply does just need at least 3-7 days of consistency to get back to full sustained energy mode, 1 day of 9H or 7H is never enough. Impatience and desperation, I am finally learning its limits. I have built boundaries on the conscious level & understand its needed. But the subconscious ol bitch called homeostasis is coming back again (especially for late caffeine) I need something stronger to keep it away.

Starting to feel like this really applies to anything. Not sure what the best way to describe it is. "Carved depth of understanding". You could just say don't overcomplicate it, it's merely "deep knowledge" or "expertise" but normally that's perceived as technical mastery of 1 domain For example : Overcompensation On the surface, it's just 5"6 narrow framed liver king taking $20K steroids But, as you here more and more examples and patterns, u realize there's distinct forms of overcompensation. For example, Mark Walberg's adult personality Ultra chaotic teen in jail, trauma, > Adult recovery arc, realises he needs discipline, fixes his life & succeeds > But then spends his entire adult life living in extreme discipline, security and containment mode, and never ever reintegrates his authentic personality, builds boring, predictable, security businesses like golf, fassion, fitness brand, becomes life long family man & business Mongol who goes to bed at 7:30PM every day. Chronic facial tension and serious aura. I'm not against "compensation" when its either useful or authentic. I just mean restrictive overcomensation. A short-average guy working out is actually a smart idea, bodybuilders are literally percieved as 2-3 inches taller to most women because the mass adds a height illusion/assumption. Also a 6"5 guy has his height to offer, he can workout and its a bonus but he already stands out visually, so 6"0 & below guys need another way to stand out, whether its hair, body, style ect.. obviously confidence/massive approaching is the main one anyway. But even that is "compensation". if you truly didn't need compensation, you would just be some king or celebrity and act like a retard and 10/10s just come and blow your dick. Everytihng is technically compensation which isn't bad.

16.12.25 Update on BF % challenge An overview on this Te journal since I started - What are my tangible gains (1) 11% Bodyfat Challenge update 1. I started very well & aggressively (at 800-1200 calorie deficits first 3-4 days, with 200G protien daily & very lean foods) 2. Had a terrible sleep week & high cortisol - Still pushed forward with agressive defecit 3. But after about day 5, it became unsustainable and I needed more carbs & calories 4. Day 5 -7 have became maintenance days, and I stopped tracking calories, and started eating Oatmeal, supermarket milk ect.. became more loose 5. I have finally slept 7+ hours last 2 days and believe I am back on good sleep momentum 6.I sense this challenge slipping away from me if I do not go back into hardcore aggressive tracking & lean dieting mode again tomorrow, I have the sleep base now so. 7. I have lost likely 0.5-1% BF, and removed water retention & bloat, I am currently at around 14-15% bodyfat, my goal is 11% with about 20-30 days. 8. This challenge sounds easy and simple, but 99% fail at it, the statistics are very clear that almost no one (No man, dont wanna be a "ripped" woman its weird and gross) in society is at 10-12% bodyfat, not because its impossible, unhealthy or pointless, but because of the modern world we live in, because humans are hardwired to avoid change, chase comfort and maintain homeostasis. This challenge is easy for the first 4-7 days ... until homeostasis kicks in, you lose patience, you get bored, you get tempted, you start negotiating again ... OR your body just sort subconsciously starts pushing you back to the homeostatic state that has cemented for the last 20-40 years of your life, might not even be conscious "boredom, frustration" .. this is why journalling & having targets & tracking the math is essential, again though 99% lose the consistency to KEEP tracking the math every day, and hypocrite me i havent the past 2 days either). 9. I conclude & recommit to the challenge & go aggressive again tomorrow, 700-1000 deficits until I hit 12-12.5%, then I need to go steadier since the game & strategy changes at that threshold. (2) Te - What are my tangible gains Quit chocolate, sugar binges & random eating. Developed more self awareness - about my mental loops, addictions, subtle addictions (like wasting time chasing gym pumps for constant vanity & image, getting lost in thought loops, mental spirals ... how I think too much, need to just stfu) Reduced negative coping mechanisms to stress, mental spirals & setbacks - Less/almost zero alcohol or beers, chocolate binges Gained more structure, organization, efficiency and consistency in general - Eating, protein, meals 1.5X+ reduced daily caffeine consumption from 300-450MG to 200-250MG, also became more precise and aware of how much caffiene I have, how much is approx in every product & brand, and built boundaries around this Connected to caffiene - had a HUGE issue with being up awake late at night (& when u have fucked logistics & are sleeping alone, this is horrible), I would be awake at 1-4AM, doing nothing, tired but wired, knowing my life is just pissing away, wishing i was an early waker... recently I have been waking up early around 6-8AM daily, however this habit is no way near set in stone and i fear that bitch called homestasis coming back to kiss me, its the same with late caffiene & they're highly connected. I am 100* better off when I awaken early, warrior mode, dead & asleep by 10-11PM, it's difficult and complex because there are many variables & only 1 in this system cuases a break : late caffiene, too much caffiene, stress loop, late stimulation, late eating epsecially protien/fats ect.. list goes on (Mostly) reduced late caffeine timing and stopped all coffee/tea after 10-11AM, (but not perfect, sometimes relapse with dark chocolate/coke zero like 5PM, still adds up to 40-80MG, still room for improvement which I can use sheets data to work with) Improved tracking discipline & structure with sheets - now find it substnationally less frction to build new habits & reduce stubborn ones. Where am I plateauing? Stress & Emotional tension, facial tension Rumination & regret loops - Need to working on pure, raw hollistic spiritual fearelessness too, Negative beliefs & fears about money Have not consistently done subconscious & belief repgramming & affirmations & feel like a hypocryte, I know how important it is Leading with priority tasks daily & acting quickly Can be indecisive to an extent, but definitely getting faster Input Te - tracking & habits has improved > But I have neglected goal setting & Target Te, I especially need a grip over this for changing logistics and making money, it's the other core half of the Te equation i am missing, cant just track and be disciplined and lose sight of the big picture and my vision. Still feel unstable because all my new habits & skills, I can still feel homeostasis & self-sabotage kicking in, so I need to anticipate and introspect around this .. Homeostasis, why 99% fuck change up, not getting complacent or too cocky too soon ("30 days" might be one of those "I broke the habit according to X self help guru online" rules but in reality 30 days doens't fucking undo 20 years of conditioning, need like 3-9+ months of consistency before u can relax a bit I guess) 16.12.25 Bank Account : 1,700 - 1,800 USD Bodyfat : 14-15% Subtropical Logistics : X No Fap day 3.5 7H+, Early sleep, early waking : Becoming more frequent, but needs many more weeks/months of consistency & deepening, Homeostasis wants to bring me back to 3AM wired hell Gym : Making great gains, delts are more round, need to be more efficient & structured though, getting to the point where it becomes more about integration and not wasting time, not just blasting lifts to get through the newbie gains phase. Overthinking, lost in my logical mind .. "There my mind goes again .. whining & compliaining/ over-complicating", Caffeine stimulation, ADD, talk too much ect.. still all an issue - looking into forms of meditation & spirituality to reground myself, however subtropical logistics i intuit with solve 80% of this problem.

https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-ultimate-guide-to-dealing-with-fear-part-1 Wow. How much did I fucking take this for granted 5 years When I am impressed with leos video, its never the entire video, it's often micro segments that just hit perfectly, timeless micro segments, perfectly worded paragraphed sentences with deep human awareness and wisdom, but not "self help 101 script heard it 1000* before", more like, deep and never heard it before, but Soo obvious now I listen to it back like "ohh yeah" P.s, i am stressed, tired, drained. I have more to say, my brain is dead i will continue The best micro segment qoutes > "everyone swimming in fear constantly ect.." How I intuitively realized what leo meant (Airport scanning this year) Wild how 99% of people society never realize this even by like 50 .. Epistemology & stages of awareness? > I am at the first or second stage now (higher than 95% of normies, but functionally not useful or benefical yet to my life) - I am aware that I am fearful, especially after rewarching this video, but still mostly functionally powerless against it 7/10 times, but i'm also aware now that I can become functionally fearless, and that is powerful. Hmm idea extension Perpetual micro daily fears = Persistent background stress = Accelerated aging & physical decay? So if you become persistently holistically fearless - you age slower? Can becoming fearless even make you more physically attractive? (as in literally in the face not just aura) ?

If any wants the clearest, most comical example of Engineered marketing deception (driven by both profit and deep insecurity) Then it's realizing what went into the Liver Kings Social media photos & videos When I first noticed him years ago, and knew nothing about fitness, steroids, camera tricks, optical illusions ect. I assumed he was 5"11, this is a 5'11+, ultra wide framed, 250-270 pound monster! And the funny thing is, he's not merely short, he's actually narrow framed too He's not big and short like Joe Rogan He's genuinely small naturally. He has narrow clavicle width, short arms. So his bodies actually like a dense 200 pound steroid brick. Almost everything that went into his posts were precision engineered to make him 1. Look taller 2. Look as big, imposing and jacked as humanly possibly Specific high volume pumps before EVERY photo/video Short shorts for longer legs Angled up camera - longer torso Taking $20K worth of steroids monthly Constant posing The hat I don't even hate the guy tbh, not here to hate him. He just literally is the master manipulator of holistically engineered optical illusion marketing. That's some fucking dedication man. Another thing, is it's WILD what steroids can do to a guy with average or worse genetics. Derek MPMP is like this .. when I saw him years ago I just assumed he was a tank. Turns out he actually has average at best muscle growth genetics and average frame/width. Not hating on the guy, I think he has some cool videos, just saying it's wild what steroids can do.

Philosophies of rewards, reward timing, and Dwayne Johnson's Widsom. Dwayne johnson's pizza/ice cream day Why daily micro junk is pointless (worst of both worlds) Why MASSIVE Junk days are worth it, necessary, and there simply is no point having any other type of reward. The inability of humans to mode - switch The danger of habit formation The motivational visionary power of MASSIVE OBESITY Junk Day for losing weight/getting ripped ect.. Best of both worlds - Build delayed gratification, and get to REALLY enjoy that junk day. "1 chocoalte" per day is for losers. Alex hormozi is a fucking loser. Junk Food is calorie DENSE, Nutritionally empty It's the inverse of chicken, which is low calories, high protein. But Junk food is often Calorie Dense, but not satisfaction dense. There is satisfaction, I love junk food. But to love it, I need to eat a fuck ton of it, with zero restraint, for as long as I want, until I am sick. This is how it should be treated. You dont eat it for a month, or a week. Then you eat it until you're sick. Not literally sick. I just mean > Massive Pizza with huge amount of sauces & cheese, hot, creamy, cheesey dough, Massive amount of ice cream and 1/2 box of Lindor chocolate, maybe a video game binge for 4 hours or something too, i dunno, get a blow job high on something? Otherwise what's the fucking point? I had 1 chocolate today as a "reward" for my restraint this week. It had 200 calories. A small chocolate. I felt absolutely nothing, it was too short, no satisfaction. Whereas dairy/meat products can have 200 calories and taste decent and have like 30+ grams of protien in it So you go all the way. You dont half ass your rewards.

15.12.25 Emtotions Te Afternoon 15.12.25 How deep is my pain 10/10 How strong is my regret 10/10 How deep is my rage 10/10 How bad do I want it 10/10 Creative ability 11/10 Underused creativity 11/10 Financial debt 10/10 Stress 10/10 Not the most efficient Not the smoothest Full of talent, handsome af, charasmatic af, energetic 10/10, testosterone 10/10 Talent 10/10 Rarirty level 1/100000000000000000 But with that comes with immense pressure & frustration With that comes with the deepest pain mentally Fumbled a 10/10 in every regret never dies can't find her again 8 billion people in the world cant get over it 10/10 in my specific way, idosyncratic-hollistically physical/spiritual not merely symmetry or curves Wanna kill myself 10/10 Strenght of my pain 10/10 Still not drinking STill not eating 10/10 Wanna kill a man 10/10 Never forgiving anyone ruthless 10/10 SUccess is the only revenge 11/10 Don't give a fucking shit what anyone thinks anymore 11/10 DOnt wanna be liked by anyone any more or be nice anymore only wanna fight the world 10/10 Wanna kill my best friend who fucked me over & betrayed me 10/10 wanna go to war 10/10 Need a million dollars so bad 10/10 Need a 10/10 jsut to get revenge on myself & the world 10/10 Insanity level 10/10 You dont wanna be me You dont wan tthis pressure

15.12.25 1. To do list 2. Follow to do list 3. Top 3 prioritees Logistics setup Remote career setup List everything online to sell Decide set date for moving - fuck realism, have a specific date & a goal > everything framed around that challenge, need to push Learning, Growth & Practice this week Boldness & noticing + conquering Fear Decisiveness & Rapid, Massive Action (No theory loops, no hesitation) Sticking to core priorities list, following tasks rapidly, having structure Growth & Learning tools : Understanding fear part 1 - Act.org Discussion about Boldness with Chat GPT Introspection - Act.org Reprogramming, Visualization, Self Talk - Writing down + audio recording affirmations & repeating every morning & night

15.12.25 Sleep (last night) - 2AM Cortisol, racing heart wakeup (in hell for 1-2 hours) > but, I manged to fall back asleep at about 4AM, and woke up around 8:30AM, but some of that was snoozing So i managed to sleep 6-8 hours, this is good, I dont have chronic insomnia. To remove this cortisol wakeup pattern i need a way to manage stress and remove micro-monitoring with sleep, I need to condition my bed to be associated with relaxation. My mental health is 1/10, i dont care a shit, I just need the money and logistics. I'm leaning much more towards bold & disprespectful energy now, I'm going to be as disrespectful as possible without breaking the law (unless It makes me money & i can get away with it I'll scam some rich mfs), just considering the only succesful people I ever knew were dicks, sometimes boredline psychopaths. When i approach a woman for example, my energy will be very calm and positive, and if she's not clearly interested from her body language i just leave (obviously thats basic social awareness not "respect"). But if i sense even a fragment of interest, I'm going for number close always, when i'm in "MUST BE RESPECTFUL" mode i tend to often not even close, its so stupid but its bad conditioning. So yeah, "Disrespect", dont a give shit what anyone thinks, bold warrior enery, like a wild bull in musth.

14.12.25 Tonight I watched leos video "how to get shit done" (again) As i listened to it it actually really hurt my stomach ... like I know im not enough of a results maker, I know im still too slow. Sub tropical logistics sub tropics online money stability ect.. When is it going to happen? Regrounding this journal to the purpose. 11% bodyfat is cool but its not the top priority, not enough on its own. Logistics really beats looks every time. Have to fight for logistics, Leo calls it projects, I just call it WAR, there are multiple wars to fight, but this is my major one. Big results by next sunday, or i delet my account.

14.12.25 Gym 1 - Biceps, shoulders all sides Cold Approach 1 - Local gym girl > Approached outside. Regret - Didn't number close, wasn't present or calm enough & within a micro second was subconsciously playing it safe "let it unfold naturally". Regret this, I've already shown my cards so better to just close, I have not been approaching recently and yeah, I've lost it, but I did approach. Decision > Going to "Front-load" aggression cold approach again, even before i get good logistics & change location. This is for spiritual and masculinity reasons, I have to do it now. Front loading 3 things - Money cold approach & 11% bodyfat. All together and all feed into each other, without cold approach I lose morale and might as well just drink beer and eat pizza, Front - loading being an actual man and human being and connecting with women, whether I'm broke or not, who gives a shit will die either way. Floss Yes Money like fucking Net $15-30, was supposed to make $130 but doing a stupid niche leech hustle & its brutal. Creativity and intellectual business Te - Been rewatching some of Leos classic blog videos at the gym about business, creativity, other interesting videos like introspection ect... I'm the type of guy who can watch any random video of leos & find a business insight from it, some reason im oddly more interested in that, I like to find ideas unexpected. Sleep 4-6 hours yesterday. Emotional Te - Severe pain & rage & anger & hurt. Decided not to repress it, decided not to fold, decided not to hide it either, felt into it, let the pain sink, people say "be happy", I say sometimes, be way more sad, be extremely sad, get fucking angry af, no comfort no stillness drive doesnt come from bland neutrality. But as i eased into my workout, surrounded by some nice fit women and milfs too, I the pain started to sink deeper into me, jitteryness alchmeized into emotional integration .. I dont know what id be without the gym in these moments. STILL THE EARLY EVENING WHAT DO I CREATE NOW BITCH, WHAT DO I CREATE, WHAT DO I MAKE

14.12.25 What will I do and create today/this week I am too stressed & emotionally broken for optimal structure or whatever, i will be in choas either way I can only embrace this But there must be a meta boundary WHAT IS THE CORE FOCUS Work from there To do list Non negotiables Targets today Specific Success Affrimations & visualization Have to now even do affirmations that i will sleep deep & 7+ Hours THen chaos c an happen but must refer back to the task list over and over again I accept there is war, I accept life is war, I will not drink, I will not eat the chocolate, I will not eat the sugar I will not pretend to be ok, I will not be fake, I will not repress my emotions or do a fake smile But I will not numb my pain either I will work like hell anyway I will not give up

Ok so personally 3 hours, 5 hours, 6 hours, broke whatever I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK I STILL WANT TO TWORK I'm not a pussy It's just AI told me that I need to "break the stress loop" Is it right? Well u have to think for yourself in life But it has some valid points People do mentally burn themselves out oncstantly But i mean, look at what jocko willink did, FOR 6-12 MONTHS I can't stop I can't stop losing bodyfat I cant stop the gym I cant stop working hard I can't stop obsessing about moving to a sub tropical beautiful island with no stress and no competition and sexy women and mountains and no winters. But what i must do 1. Max 200-230MG cafffiene 2. No Caffiene (no coke zero no chocolate) after 12AM 3. STOP working at 9PM 4. STOP thinking at 9PM 5. Forget everything at 9PM. Let go of all my dreams, all my pain, the times I made the wrong bets in business, all the money ki made and lost, the fact I have no money Let it all fucking go It all has to go by 9PM Then i have a fighting chance of sleep Another thing is that I have to narrow down and focus right now, I am not rested enough to juggle 6 different variables. No actor voice training, that can wait. 11% BF challenge stays because : I'm already in momentum I've already built up the skill of - intuitively or just brute rough memorization knowing the calories/protien ect.. content of any type of food and have a rhythym with it It's not very cognitively complex But because of lack of sleep - I should go easy on hard defecit and move up to a light-moderate defecit and just add more walks. Key principle i derived this week (I am too tired to give a fuck and be petty and hoard this because "I need this secret info in a book i'll write" : 1 no one gives a fuck about me on here anyway and this is a tiny niche segment of an already niche forum) Front - loaded Aggression & Early Start Momentum Principle : It's counter-intuitive to front load agression whenver you start a challenge or new domain Most people front load with ease & moderation, they do it in reverse, and never make true progress This is essentially a rewording of the principle of "Momentum" itself, but whats beautiful about this principle is its a blueprint for HOW TO CREATE MOMENTUM. It's not complex at all, its not rocket science, it's simply counter-intuitive. ] Airplane requires a ton of energy to shoot up off the runway much less to continue at full speed. People think "5K" or "10K" is broke (& in america i understand it might actually be with their brutal system & costs), but globally, 5K is like everything. Better to work like hell until you have 5K, then gradually just make $50 a day while chilling, the latter doesnt work, get the first 5K, now u can become a millionaire because you have momentum. It's also math, doubling isn't unrealistic, theres many ways to double your money in life, I just believe thats an underated magical math princple that u can just double shit. But whats $50 *2?? fucking $100, not even enough to survive 1 week. But double $5K? 10K, its exponential. Losing bodyfat > it might be "sane & healthy" to be at a mild steady deficit from the start? WRONG. Be in a 1,000 calorie defict the first day, then 800, then 750 ect.. front loaded agression, especially the psychological momentum. This principle can be mistaken because steady consistent growth is also underated. So arent they contradicting? WRONG. Front loaded Aggression > Steady long term Consistency Dont fucking need agression once you're already at 11% BF lol thats just neurotic and useless stress. ANd like i said, guys at 11% Bodyfat can actually EAT EVEN MORE than a 18% Bf guy becuase : 1. momentum on their side, 2. NEAT is automatically higher, 3. cascade of other psychological reasons (looking hot & that confidence causes them to go outside and walk more, approach women more, chase the sun more, muscle fueling & glcogen system automatically more efficient).

14.12.25 I can assume stress has become overwhelming for me and I simply cannot sleep > 4-6 hours anymore. I really dont want to slow down but I am having to isolate variables and try being "at maintenance" for a few days to fix my sleep. The pattern is suggesting it isn't actual insomnia (which has different pattern), nor is it caffiene (because i removed late drinking and havled my intake, also still had at least 1*8-9 hour day after caffene) It is likely stress, cortisol and distress I am simply unable to sleep 4-6 hours and struggling mentally I have to cut out all this self improvement shit, voice training, bodyfat, whatever, i dont have the stability for it all I might need to close down my account and these journals because it just adds pressure and cortisol If I could at least fucking sleep then I would not give a shit about "cortisol" and slowing down. But life isn't fair. I want to work my ass offf and get results in every area daily and not stop, thats all i want. But sleep is so fundamental, you can get away with "stress" if it pushes you and you rest. But chronic stress + Sleep debt is just guaranteed failure so i have to slow down But I can't just give myelf brain damage and continually sleep under 7 hours for months. This is like reptillian surivval modenow SLeep 7 hours dont do anything stupid Dont start drinking, stay in maintenance Then come back to everything Hopefully i can get back in3 days.

13.12.25 Sleep 5 Hours No fap X Fapped > Trigger, tried to nap in the afternoon, didn't work (never does), ended up fapping. ^ Awake + in bed = Fap. Calories - Was in a deficit, went back up to maintenance or slightly below, can still reduce with long walk ^^ @ 2.15 -2.4K Net >> Reduce with long walk now to 1.8-2K Gym 1 - Back, light shoulders No sugar - 2 teaspoon honey Voice Training - X Net Profit $23 Logistics work and remote career - X Day today - Shitty AF Learning & Growth - found & extracted (derived myself) a very useful pattern that applies to early growth in any domainh 13.12.25 : Introspection Te Every hack, every result, every progress, all the tracking, everything can be undone, 100* faster This evening, I have fallen back into severe pain, regret ect.. Then that shapes my thought patterns - feeds back into emotions > more thought patterns > actions, eat the chocolate ect.. I know the theory pretty dam well, but that only makes me very marignally more adept at this in practice than any other normie. It's tough.

13.12.25 When a normie (the 99%) starts a hobby or starts a challenge (like 11% BF challenge) He shares some gay quote like "success = hard work" shares it on IG then loses all the gains in 2 months anyway because it was just a fad for him When I start a hobbies or challenge I quickly become 4D & holistically smarter in virtually every domain in life because I instantly extract a higher level pattern & then also express it as a decompressed, perfectly worded quote, rule or statement, sometimes in ways no one has ever expressed before. 1. 11% BF Challenge : What I realized after the first 3-4 days : Nope, deleted, going to add this to some book i'll write and make 9 billion dollars from Im not sharing free shit anymore, fucking pay me

13.12.25 Ok lets relax I need 7+ Hour sleep I've unknowingly been misled and been consuming double what I thought i was I had 400MG yesterday and for me thats way too much i'm sensitive I will sleep 7+ hour tomorro w i will make it happen i can not tolerate less i cannot tolerate low performance I cannot lose I cannot be like a normie Fuck that Either I win in life or die, no in between I will sleep 7+ hour tonight, i will not let it not happen