Optimized Life

05.01.26 Bank account : $1500 Logistics Move - Simply do not have enough reserves, stuck Income stream? > Yes but its an unstable grind, but i can push through to $3K and move, I have to do it Fuel source : Pain No Fap streak X : 7 faps in 2 days Goals by Friday : $2,700 bank account No Fap day 4 Booked and taken a flight, with hotel/hostel booked & room viewings ready work 17 hours a day until I live where I dream of

Here to sell my art and get rich!

Mythology, subconscious mind, Jungian archetypes, reprogramming subconscious mind, music, positive brainwashing, affirmations, installing belief softwares, intentional belief statements. ect.., psychological penetration analogous to penetrating the skin, need a sharp and deep knife that cuts straight through, what is that version, is it psychedelics? or is there a natural method?

05.01.26 Stress, logistical issues, money, disrupted sleep & a sudden ankle injury/or tension causing awkward & slow movement I have somewhat devolved into chaos and inertia 7 day no fap streak turned into 6 faps Boredom & depletion and internal slipping of boundaries took me to drinking maybe 8-12 beers in across days i lost count ... and I know how much this acutely disrupts neurotransmitter baseline, ability to focus, willpower ect.. Stress and anxiety is back. feel my money slipping away from me, havent even setup logistics, dont even know if i can afford the lease yet, and im not sure im willing to settle to live with room mates, because I know theyll be normies and a distraction, i need my privacy. Regrounding the journal : No main forum No hate reading or hate watching, no judging others, just doing my thing Take a 5% gold from leo and leave the rest, no sprial dynamics no "burning karma" verbal diareeah group think nonsnese, no consciousness bs. Discipline, boudaries, metrics Introspection, awareness, self honesty Goals targets, metrics, managing time & energy, strategy Its hard to keep going wtih this journal I'm feeling the burnout, almost feels cringe, almost feels try hard. Feel inconsistent, feel like a hypocrite, feel like a failure. I don't want attention, dont want validation I want real results and to be responsible for it I want a life of purpose and passion I want success and I want meaning and I want vitality and health and direction and progress and creativity and relationships and beauty and art and nature and wealth and power and a life fully lived. I want progress and real results and no delusion and to separate myself from the standard man, who's even consistent across 90% of self improvement spaces, because escaping medicority is fucking hard, because humans are wired to least resistance and homeostasis, its war. It's fucking war. Im supposed to be fat im supposed to be lazy im supposed to stare at my phone and screen for 15 hours a day and barely pay rent and date a 5/10 and be alone and lazy and useless and fat and wake up at 40 or 50 and regret my entire fucking life and then just kill myself. Thats the default. That's whats supposed to fucking happen. THat's whats meant to fucking happen. Have to stay serious about this. Have to stay fucking paranoid, psychotic almost.

BTW WHAT IS THAT WHEN u commpare and complaint about how "an average 5/10 on tinder has it easy" DID U NOT LEARN DID U NOT INTROSPECT? DID UNOT LISTEN TO LEO WHEN HE TOLD U TO STOP PROJECTING AND COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW "WOMEN HAVE IT EASY, ITS SO EASY FOR WOMEN" DID U NOT INTROSPECT HOW THAT VERBAL DIAREEAH IS REALLY JUST A THOUGH PATTERN SHAPED BY THE ENVY AND INSECURITY WITHIN YOU, ALSO INTROSPECT HOW IT DOES ABSOLUTELY NO BENEFIT FOR YOURSELF, OR ANY OTHER GUY ON THE FORUM BY TLAKING ABOUT THAT GARBAGE IM NOT FUCKNG HERE TO PLAY AORUND, THATS NOT MY STYLE OF LEADERSHIP IM NOT TOLERATING BULLSHIT ANYMORE U COULD CALL ME A HYPOCRITE, IM SURE I HAD THE SAME THOUGHTS YEARS AGO, BUT THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED TO, I NEED A HARD KICK THE ASS, I NEEDED THE BRUTAL TRUTH TO COME OUT. DO "AVERAGE WOMEN" HAVE IT EASIER??? NO THEY FUCKING DONT, AND ITS ALSO WAY MORE COMPLICATED THAN HOW U THINK IT IS "SEX QUANITTY AND EASE = EASIER LIFE" But Sex is much less about quantity and frequencyfor women, and quanitfy with what type of guys? what quality of interactions? It's a lot more brutal than most guys think, it's not the envious fantasy of ease they project, from my intuition, most peoples lives are fucked, men and women, life is war, life is hell for like 95% of the global population, and a losing battle, so shut the fuck up, and fight Aging is much faster and much more brutal for most women (I personally like milfs but they're socially undervalued, also not the norm since most women dont have the genetics + healthy/stable lifestyle to become milfs, being an older mid or below woman in society is brutal ) Being average and below looks women = in many ways more brutal than an average man because there's nothing they can compensate with Majrority of women do not want to use tinder globally Ideas about dating are extremely biased towards USA based dating Many women can get sex easy but its not satisfying, most men suck at sex ... many men barely even have a sex drive to begin with, most men are out of shape, fat, lazy, they dont even have the work ethic to make a woman cum, let alone hit the gym or quit alcohol or have good style or be an interesting and magnetic person in general) Even most good looking and or rich men are boring, numb, emotionally flat, predictable, dull, and bad at sex. Most women are super insecure about themselves (but i suppose many men are too) Also u gotta imagine what its like to be a mid or below woman and get fucked You're getting used and fucked, then as soon as the guy comes, he feels bored and regretful that he even did it .. This happened to me when I was like 20, and I realized any woman below approx 6.5-7 isn't even worth the effort I had like a 6/10 girl try invite me to come see her to fuck, we almost fucked simply because she approached me and were staying in a same party hostel, i was horny at the time so i though i'll fuck her why not, no effort, but as soon as she requested effort i just couldn't get myself to do it That girl "could get infinite sex on tinder im so jealous" Except she has to deal with either unpassionate short lived sex from a guy whos just horny and isn't even that into her, or needy keen sex from a low level guy she doesnt want. But dumb guys on these dating forums cant see the pov of what its like to be a mid woman,

50-80% of everything everyone says is either wrong, biased or inflated. I've said how "once you master the gym it transfers to everything and everything changes, you get discipline everywhere, you get rich eventually" Honestly I dont know Gym bros are often like the athletic version of broke rockstars, chaotic, obsessive, high energy, not bad, but is it really "disicpline" It's often just Elite genetics + net calories + heavy training Can be mentally ill, can have addicitons, can have depression, can have relationship issues, and look like a greek god. There simply is no correlation, being in a certain net calorie is based on many variables and you might just not like to eat that much Many gym bros do get addicted to steroids and neuro-chemical manipulation this and that yeah .. No one has themselves together, and that's okay I do gym because I love it, but i admit that it doesnt necessarily make me more put together in anyway meaningful way

04.01.26 I am grateful for : I am grateful for cheap modern gyms I am grateful for the internet and online guides & how tos I am grateful for my creative intelligence I am grateful for global infrastructure : airplanes, airports, I am grateful for all the beautiful women in the world, of which there are hundreds of millions I am grateful for my athletic, functioning body, that I can freely walk and move around I am grateful that I can hear, see, speak ... some dont have this I am so grateful that I am not in jail I am grateful I have energy and functional health, Testosterone, a libido God I take nothing for granted

Why study modern pharmacology, neuroscience, bio-chemistry ect..? I want to shame Andrew Huberman for making science look boring Becuase it's not boring We live in a modern world For years I bought into the "just workout, be happy, use your brain bro" blahblah "natural vs unnatural", "natural vs processed" There is no rigid boundary between natural and unnatural (also natural does not automatically = healthy) A lot of drugs simply are just tools .. dosage, timing, context and they can become useful. But nuance, this is why you have to actually study it. For example, an idiot has no nuanced knowledge and awareness of distinctions, so he just "takes a sleeping pill" .. benzo, excellent, valerian excellent, "gaba = relaxed" great. Nuanced knowledge is knowing that melatonin is much safer than valerian, but also a distinct and specific mechanism, specific to resetting circadian rhythm, just another tool Its closed minded to think drugs = unhealthy, or the idea of "there is no free lunch" ... Maybe there normally simply "is no free lunch" .. but perhaps modern pharmacology will change such that new drugs become released that give you a "free lunch", maybe there will be steroids that are actually healthy for you.. how the fuck would you know? the universe is infinite. Also drugs are not inherently bad because it depends on your goal... What if your goal is not longevity? what if your goal is maximum short term benefit, thats not inherently unswise, depends. If i was on a zombie apocalypse, and i had a month to live, I would certainly take a ton drugs and enjoy them Now I do not know 99% of what there is to know about pharmacology, bio-chemistry, neuro-science. This is not about looking like a smart ass or being some debatorcel dork This is about open mindedness and a meta shift I had a phase (and i've seen guys on here, guys in general get too deeply locked into this phase) of "Be natural, keep things simple bro" But this orientation is very sutbly locked into fear, fear of danger, fear of the unknown, and a longing for safety Now this isn't to neglect the other side "Anything goes just experiment" mindsset does screw a lof ot peopl e there are hyper logical, otherwise very intelligent guys, who are now hooked on a ton of steroids, "natty +" drugs, dopamine this, serotonin that, gaba this, sleep that ect.. modulating their pharmocology daily, addicted to control, thinking they can just modulate hormones up and down daily to balance and counteract each other like they're playing bio-chemical DJ .. and thinking there is always a free lunch no matter what. But also .. What's the problem with the naturalist/simplist bro? The problem is he misses out on the potential (both current & upcoming) magic of modern life Naturalist bro goes bold when he coud've not gone bold because minoxodil is a "drug", and he confused his actual deep seeded fear of danger and harm subsconicsouly coarsing his body influencing his thought patterns & restrictve non action with a crisp and decisive intellectual grasp of the DHT mechanism. Naturalist bro doesn't take creatine because it costs $20 a month and he's a cheap bastard, and also because "you dont need creatine", ITS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU FUCKING "NEEED", ITS ABOUT GOIJG BEYOND THAT, AND EXPERIMENTING

This is 1 of those super counter-intuitive mind techniques that feels off and painful at first. And it cannot only work in theory You have to actually DO IT precisely when you feel clear and strong envy for someone else, and precisely when you are specifically going through a rough time, and that guy, is surpassing you now, that's exactly when you do it. Exactly when you're broke but you see that guy achieve the thing you dreamed of, but do not have, because you fucked up, or you got unlucky, or you got used, or whatever, but he has it, you do not. In that precise moment you genuinely say to yourself "good for him, I'm proud of him, im happy for him" and you genuinely try to feel it, you genuinely try to feel that emotion, you refuse to give in to weakness. It's counterintuitve but I tried this and it worked, it took like 5-20 seconds for my body to switch, I went from envying someone, to genuinely feeling happy for them, within 20 seconds.

28.12.25 I've spoken enough about affirmations, goals, purpose, introspection, doing dialy metrics, daily feedback. I know what I have to do, it's just being consistent. Not here to focus on others, not here to judge, not here to spread my opinions or get poliitical, not for the main forum Here for honest metrics and accountability, achieving all my targets, experiencing the most out of life, and goal setting There's nothing else to do in life as a high energy extrovert I dont give a shit about grand theories about reailty I am somewhat cognitively relatable to leo, but my value system always points that cognition towards real world action and pragmatism, that is not SD related, that is hormone and innate personality and drive related, which is permanent from birth until death, and this is my core issue with SD fanaticism on here, it's a fucking farce. Reminder, subtle addictions - i am addicted to thinking itself, my goal isnt to think, but to achieve, for both myself and others, to be useful, for myself and the world, to experience the most out of life and make use of my time. 11% BF + golden tan + aesthetic jacked Perfect sub tropical logistics 200G Protien per day No alcohol, no smoking No late sugar and caffeine Get added sugar to 0-30G per day average - limit sugar sources to honey/fruits if needed (no chocolate, no ultra processed calorically dense hyper addictive saturated fat/sugar bomb scam) No caffeine after 11AM Low cost of living, comfortably paying rent No more financial stress, pay off all debts Only healthy "stress" from challenge and positive pressure, but no stress collapse, no more burnout, no accelerated decay like 90% of the rest of the population by 25-32 Decent remote sales job, not stuck here for life, but keeps me going while I write a book and master marketing My own apartment in subtropics (can start with just a room is fine, work my way up) Approaching women daily, not working all day Creative sessions weekly, write books, use my mind to give value and make money Always believe in myself and the value i have to offer

I'm honestly embarassed. This is humility. Drilling in to my brain that : IN the evening, binging sugar and chocolate and even having some more coffee does NOT work, it does not lead to me doing more work and grinding it out, it just double downs on my burnout, and then I have to drink liquour to counteract the tension and cope, it decreases sleep latency and quality, yet no work gets done in those hours, it also increases guilt, shame (especially high sugar/fat junk like chocolate) and regret, which fries and already fried nervous system. It's also shitting on my 11% bf challenge and feel like my own homeostatic body has created a boomerang sended me back where I was, i know i did this to myself, but sometimes when you try achieve something and the bounce back feels uncannily symmetrical and unconscious it almost feels like I didn't even do it to myself but some unconscious force... again why clarity of mind, drilling your goal and purpose every day and being psychotica about it, to the point where hitler was ideological about nazisim, but applied to your own positive goals instead, yeas for a typoe like me this is necessary, maybe not for many, but some people just need to go to war and beat themselves like with a stick until it clicks. I need constant audio affirmations in my bluetooth as background noise reminding me of my goals every day, I have to have calorie defecit targets and track every day. I also have to hav ethe goal to begin with. People really misinterpret the function of hitting 11% BF, they think its some bodybuilder nonsense .. its not if uou'er wise enough to see that, the way the world is headed is that people rarely just stay at a casual no stress 13-16% kinda healthy bf and kinda have the cookie now and then .. its never fucking like that, humans are not like that most of th etime, and I am certainly not, my body only works decisively, Either i am trying to look like connor muprhy at his best, or I have to be a fat alcoholic, there is no inbetween, its makes no sense for me, my body doesnt understand that. So 11% bf, tanned, fitness model look is what I'm going for again, I also find the challenge of it so fulfilling, its very counterintuitive to "get energy from not eating the donut every day" ... then again, theres fucking much better pleasures in life, sex, art, exercise ... hell even cocaine doesn't make you fat. All these words are coming from me not the internet, chat gpt or some forum ... as they should. Asking google doesnt teach you the lesson I am embarassed because I already have known intellectually that late sugar and caffiene does not work for like 5 years but its functional wisdom on acelluar level and also, just lack of introspection can take over That leo and longevity guy was t nerdy health guru online, until his divorce and he became a full blown alcoholic ... and he was geninely very smart and valuable to the info space and contributed, but still, he struggled with embodiment when shit hit the fan, he also spent so much of his life in his head, that despite being a smart and valuable contribution (and he genuinely did add individual contributions and insights to knowledge about biohacking, supplements, neurochemstiry, PEDS, he challenged views, he added critical thinking, he was intellectually honest in many ways, he was a systemic thinker) but ultimately .. his body was ruined by divorce, because its like a separate system, being smart like him is impressive but its still ultimately a separate system, guys like that just become alcoholics all the time, or end up in jail or something.

27.12.25 No fap day 1 Added sugar today > anywhere from 150 - 300 Grams Chocolate today > 3-4 Fruit juice 3-4 litres Late coffee yes, coffe at 5 and 7/8PM Why all this? Desperate, scrambling, trying to brute force is it wise, not really, im just desperate as hell Need to change evnironment Need to scaramble and get as much money together as i can and also find a room in a new place The path im on its feeling like i'm struggling to every have more than $1-2K in my bank account, and even thats a luxury at the moment because I have to pay rent, deposit, food, gym membership, hair loss stack, ect.. It is how it is Nothing to complain about Nothing happens easily Just keep going And at least I'm not fucking bold. God that keeps me going God Homeostasis hits hard. Im so FUCKING angry about this shit. I got into such a good rhythym I was cutting for over a week, I was getting in incredible shape, like headin towards prime Connor murphy tier, I was cutting caffiene at 11AM Homeostasis that BITCH They say wrath is a deadly sin I say fuck what they say thats dogma the deadly sin is sloth I use wrath to move mountains. Im fuckign angry af and im using it

27.12.25 OBSESSION, PERSISTNCE, DREAM, NO EVNY, NO LOOKING BACK, WORK ETHIC, PASSION, ENERGY, POWER, SPIRITUAL POWER, BECOMING A KING, NO FAP, WORK 17 HOURS A DAY, FUCK BITCHES 2026 INFINTE LIMITELESS GOD How does no one intuitvely grasp the POWER of language. I feel like It took me a solid, 25-26 years to do it.. and thats fucking embarassing. Yet most people never arrive. Thats why i became interested in affirmations, even in a meta sense. It was the concept of "power words" that really did it for me, and somewhat owen cooks marketing material, but really it was a random soup of inputs And its ironic but its hard for me to truly articulate what I mean here, this sense of the power of language, its not something you can quanitfy or easily describe, its like feeling based. Obviously actually being good at using words can be more technical .. but the technicality of language use can only be a force multiplier, especially spoken language, theres tonality and all that but most of that comes from within, tonality mostly reflects the state and depth within.

27.12.25 Introspection Te I feel lost, I feel hopeless, I feel angry and frustrated. I feel like I will never get out this hole, I feel like the burnout of doing business and the wrong business and getting nothing from it will never leave me I feel like i was born in the wrong place, that money just isn't meant for me, that god doesn't want me to have money I almost want to pretend money doesnt exist so I dont have to deal with the pain of thinking about it But this is just a feeling, and I know the mind loves to torture itself I cant just do affirmations right now because it feels too cringe I cant do motivational videos Just need to get better quality sleep ... but can I even do that anymore? People really underestimate what burnout, or some other psychological thing can do to someone Some guy can get a divorce and out of nowhere he cant sleep properly for 15 years For me the trigger was not making the money I expected, and feeling stuck 1 microsopic thing at a time But also, I can ground myself in positive realism. I can start with an online job Will it make me rich? of course not But because its online, I gain some logistical leverage From that leverage, lower cost of living + consistent weather > which means better looks, health, tan, more excercise, warmth, glow, better body, lower bodyfat, less junk food > these all open doors, what doors? who the fuck knows btu more doors, also logistics for more/better sex = dopamine & serotonin boost, another leverage point, more T, more energy I just have move the levers within my control, shit can happen I could even forget about the concept of "money", causes so much dam envy, suffering and insecurity, so fuck money. Money doesnt exist, only steps do

26.12.25 Regrounding myself & my journal. No overthking Just brute repetition. Same shit, every day Honest metrics, goals, honest feedback, nothing else. No going on main forum, no judging others, no envying others, no instagram. Just targets, goals, intentions, metrics, feeback, and brutal self honesty and accountability. No Fap Top 10%-20% Actor voice training 11% BF, lean & Jacked & tanned Cold approach, be social, daily sex Write a book Weekly ENTP 8w7 sx/so Business Creativity brainstorming sessions & requisite variety sessions Build more stable online career $5,000 saved Logistics change, put down the deposit, pay the pills Pay off my debts Regaining my sleep quality & waking up on time Max 200-250MG caffiene & no late caffeine after 12PM Notice and remove high priority "subtle addictions" Excavate fear & anxiety within my body on a deep cellular level maybe 5-10 other things No perfectionsim, no guilt, no multi-tasking Remember i cannot do the entire list at once, its an ongoing process, just do the top 1-3 Maintain spirituality, gratitude, faith in god, never forget my potential, I am a chosen one

I'm going to repeat this one, because it's priceless. The amount of internal suffering that's caused by envy, would be insanely impossible to actually quantify, but a sobering number. People only look at gross statistics like murder rates. Obviously its simply impossible to quantify this but Most people only concern themselves with the obvious. because life is somewhat chaotic and never completely fair, so the mind jumps to "if only i was born into his situation ect.." envy sucks, it just doesnt feel very nice. And people are terrible at noticing psychological pain, and taking it seriously, unless it's severe and hospitalizing

CALL ME A HYPOCRITE, BUT I JUST COULDN'T RESIST THE PEDS IM BOLD NOW, AND I CAN REALLY FUCKING RELATE TO LEO GURU BUT IT ALSO MADE MY COCK MASSIVE MERRY CHRISTMAST BITCHES

24.12.25 This week has fallen off and I feel like a hypocrite Is it just homeostasis? Is it rationalisation? But what has happened. The pursuit of money and setting myself up - became a rationalisation point : Abusing Caffeine, sugar, chocolate, late caffeine, masturbating It's irrational because none of these things help me make money and just leave me slow and drained. The fapping is the most disappointing part too (sleep>positive thoughts/beliefs>protein>no fap>diet) No fap is top 4 self improvement priority, pretty dam high. I have a google sheets page of all my faps since october. I wa averaging a relapse or a 2 day relapse every 7-14 days, so pretty decent average But this week I've fapped like .. i dunno 15 times and daily. I am restarting my streak. No Late caffiene, 11% bodyfat challenge, tracking macros, I REALLY built a good rhythym with this, JUST started to get a rhythym, then that BITCH called hemostasis brought me back to the mediocracy of normie life. Fuck this bitch is stubborn. Its time to fix this. THis journal regrounded again, ONLY metrics & accountability, clear, honest, daily, no days off. Recommitting : Daily cut (towards 11% BF) with Macro tracking + 200G Protein No sugar No Caffeine after 11am Max 200-300MG caffeine Hit key tasks from early morning Sub Tropical paradise logistics setup daily $6,000 ready in bank asap EVERY GUY WANTS TO BE RIPPED & SHREEDED, BUT 99% OF MEN DONT HAVE THE WORK ETHIC TO GET THERE WITHOUT STEROIDS. THAT'S WHY IT'S A FUCKING FLEX. AND THAT'S WHY SPIRAL DYNAMICS IS ACUTALLY POISON IN THIS PLACE, BECAUSE WHAT SD HAS DONE, IS ITS MADE INEXPERIENCED MEDICORE PEOPLE SEE THE WORLD THROUGH A DRUNK LENS, U DID NOT EARN YOUR STUPID SD PERSPECTIVE, LEO, YOUR DADDY! FED IT IN YOUR MOUTH! YUMYUMYUM.. AND NOW U GET TO SAY! HE'S JUST STAGE ORANGE, HES BELOW ME HAHAHAHAHA, AS U SIT THERE, FAT AF, WATCHING FAMILY GUY, WHATS MORE PURE, AT IT'S SOURCE, IS NOT SAYING "OH TAKING CARE OF HIS LOOKS AND BODY, SO STAGE ORANGE" INSTEAD JUST "DISCIPLINE, WORK ETHIC, AMBITION, SELF CARE, DELAYED GRATIFICATION, PATIENCE, PERSITENCE, HES GOING AGAINST CULTURE" .. BECAUSE FUNCTIONALLY, THAT FUCKING IS WHAT IT IS AND ITS VERY HELPFUL TO SEE THE WORLD IN THIS POSITIVELY PURE, FUNCTIONAL WAY, THERE DOES NOT NEED TO BE A FUCKING "STAGE OF CONSCIOUSNESS" ASSIGNED TO EVERY HABIT, HOBBIE, BEHVAIOR, ITS FUCKING AUTISTIC AND U NEED TO STFU.

To be FAIR to Connor That guy is FUNNY AF Post spiritual connor muprhy is genuinely, the funniest guy in the planet, you cant make this shit up, jesus fucking christ that guy cracks me up now ANd i dont mean laugh at him in a mean way like the NPC youtube commenters He's genuinely funny in an often very subtly clever way lmao, he literally beats every stand up comedian combined, no one comes close. He also clearly doesn't give a total shit what anyone thinks now, like I can feel that in his body, his psychedelic use literally dissolved his ego to the point where there is no more underlying social or status based inhibition in his body. ^ I'm impressed by the end result of this but not really the method by which he got there ... Just because when you artificially speed-run a massive growth or benefit it comes with other costs, but still ... he did arrive there. Honestly ... I'm not sure why everyone's overlooking how funny Connor murphy is. This guy is world class level funny. He's world class level because he does it both spontaneously and prolifically Stand up comedians are lame, thinking they can commoditize humour and turn it into a script.

22.12.25 Introspective Te, feeling spiritual Leos video on fear & introspection Boy did I listen to that like 30 times 3 years ago And boy did It not really hit me my subsconsious or intuition was making me keep relisteinign to it even though ... I was not getting the messages on a cellular level. And of course I would go 3, 6, even a year without listening to it and forgetting abotu it, by then still i had not got the message but something made me keep relistening to it again and again. People say leos videos (especially in the last 3-7 years) "aren't practical" Well he has a fucking ton of videos, so of course not all of them are. But 1-3 videos can be so profoudnly and cosmically pratical that that belief statement is limiting and irrelevant. Introspection or the fear video might seem like "just spirituality" when you havent got the message yet. ... ANd maybe you're one of the lucky few who succeeded in life, due to some sort of random logistical timing or talent mix or something But for the 99% of normal humans, success is nearly always bound my introspection, fear, stress, self sabotage, and tony robbins and all this nonsense didn't even help me on a practical level, only Leo and chat gpt, and my own self reflection. Now regrounding myself to the day to day 1. Yes im really getting the message 2. Im not fully embodied with the messages (yet) - because its fucking difficult. I just wasted hours in a fear and stress loop for example I have to get spiritual because im in desperate situations Have to accept that in life to get ahead and be abnormal you have to take risks, you have to break some rules, you have to risk consequences, to because you will die anyway, have to move at full force, no fear, no hesitation. Requisite variety, how fear works, Introspection(10-25% of the actual video is relevant, spotify skipping feature thank you) Requisite variety, how fear works, Introspection, some blog videos maybe, of course some others I say only 5% of leos work relevant to me, and of those 5% sometimes only 20% of the video relevant But leo has a shit ton of videos, most people couldn't produce 1 of his works even just once by fluke luck Im at that very frustrating spritiual meta stage (still above most normies) but where im aware of almost everything, esepcially after the fact, i can reflect on everything, im aware of fear, stress, how im shaped and run by it, swimming it in, how society is too even harder than me, caged by it ... yet functionally im still just enmeshed in it. But I thank the stage im in, I thank god for this progression, I remain humble and patient to god in this respect, my time is coming and im gaining spiritual power. God i will not let u down. God I will turn it all around. God I will make every fucking day count. God I will make myself proud.

22.12.25 Update 11% BF challenge, High T diet & Lifestyle : Homeostasis has kicked in hard. I was tracking with sheets, I was in a solid calorie deficit + 200G protein daily, hydration, good quality chicken, max 200-250MG caffiene, no caffiene after 10-12, no added sugar days or low added sugar days, deeper sleep, No Fap maybe pinch of honey or some cereal but no chocolate or binges, lost about 0.5-1% bodyfat and a lot of bloat, had momentum, fixed circadian rhythm & early morning wakeup, less distraction & randomness, less random thinking & getting lost n my mind, abstracting, overthinking, This lasted like 4-7 days Then : Justifying and giving into caffeine abuse (300-500MG) & late caffeine/late sugar Sugar rebounds, buying chocolate Stopped sheets, stopped tracking calories Even stopped tracking protein & buying good quality chicken More overthinking, random actions, random forum writing, lost in abstraction Masturbating daily The 2 things that have managed to stick : Circadian rhythm & early wakeup > this is still there, my body wakes up naturally early currently. So what do i do? I consider this a restart. It's Monday, its fresh. I recommit to : Google sheets, tracking, numerical & behavioural honesty, awareness and feedback - daily, weekly. No philosophy or abstraction based thinking or writing, 99% action, decisive, quick. This journal only to track and post results, and conquer challenges. Tracking calories every day with specific targets. I decide to give up sugar completely again, no chocolate no junk, high protien, high T diet that I know feels good for ME. When I hit 11% bodyfat, and get my natural golden Tan (= Proof of tropical logistical victory) - I will post a body pic on here. Results, proof, hard work, no talking shit ^ None of this is "stage orange", spiral dynamics doesn't exist, its a made up model in leos bold head. Monday day 1 : Failed sugar, WHY did I fail Already consumed like 600MG caffiene and still felt flat, need to keep grinding, early evening, i was decicing "DO I HAVE ANOTHER RED BULL OR NO" ... Then i thought "oh no might not be able to sleep", so then my brain decided it should take several lindor balls out the bin and eat them, because "its only 40 grams of sugar and at least sugar doesnt impact sleep as much". I got tripped up by my own reasoning, it wasn't merely "weakness", its this catch 22 where my body truly just needs rest, but also i know i dont have time to rest and need to hustle, and cant stand just resting, cause i need to make the fucking money and sort my life out, but then also, another part of me needs to cut calories and sleep well, its a mess. FUCK, I WISH caffiene simply had a much shorter half life but the same kind of affect, because i do not need sugar or calories. But obviously i cant just give up sleep. I hate chocolate man, my face is all sweaty already just from 40 grams. gross. Going to burn all these calories neurotically at the gym and compensate and do cardio and weights too today. I will fucking cut. Worse thing is, .. i might just end up drinkng the red bull anyway. I know this is unhealthy, but im dead serious on getting the money and moving location, i dont want to stop, i have to make it happen NOW.

This is 1 of the most interesting "Indirect self help", or "Not self help" videos from leo i've found in a while. BUT only 5-10% of the video or less. I skipped most of it. I value my time and energy. 95% of it isn't relevant to me, but the 5% is still gold, its always like this with Leos weird complex videos. Have to be open minded enough to search for gold though What he reminded me of : That real intelligence is not IQ, that "uneducated" people shouldn't be under-estimated, that intuition is far more important than formal logic, that massive life experience, pattern recognition, intution, observation, introspection, self awareness, observing others, creativity, experimentation, open mindedness, exploration, counter-intuitiveness, emotional intelligence are far more relevant and superior to formal knowledge, reading books, academia, and blindly copying others formal steps and advice. This doesnt mean that logic and education/quantification, rule guidance aren't important, they still are, but they're just the basics, and extremely limited on their own. Very interesting to explore the nuance of intelligence, Leo is basically the jeff bezos of meta-cognition ... He also reminded me of the power of just sort of, letting lose & being instinctive, in your body, not trying to be smart, not trying to constantly be strategic or overthink, going with your intuition, jumping into things. NTPs often simply get lost in their mind .. many never make it out. Its often not good for game, for women, for making money ect.. because logical thinking is only a small subset and often just the jump start of a progressive succesful sequence of steps, 8/10 of those steps are more instinctive, in the moment. You dont strategize how to become good at tango dance, you just grab your balls and turn up to class, grab a woman hand and start, embrace being a beginner, and you get good over time, more you think the slower you learn

17.12.25 Only 1 variable to handle now, priority shifted again : SLEEP SLeep arc guess from memory 6H> 4-5H > 5H > 6H > 5H > 9H > 7H-7.5H . 5.5H This is the pattern from the last 7-10 days. For the 9H & 7H days : I did not have any meaningful late caffiene after 10-11AM (e.g 1 coke zero at 1PM max, thats about 30MG) Yesterday : I broke my discipline & deluded myself "2nd coke zero + almost approx 70 grams of 70% dark chocolate" at 5PM ^ That adds up to anywhere from 30MG + 40MG to 30MG + 60MG > so could be a full 90MG caffiene since I had so much choco The dark chocolate brand is also impure, full of additives & likely other stimulants like theobromine. Random high calorie meals 8-10PM Late screens & mental stimulation at 10PM - 12AM Its these "tiny" slips that ruin it My 9H 7H days clearly had clean cut caffiene cutoffs and a wind down Now what was the core trigger that caused this loss of discipline : Desire to "grind it out" & inability to cope with/impatience with getting tired (which is expected after a week of sleep debt) I have to just have more patience "Grinding it out" yesterday gained me little but cost me maybe a 50-100% productivity loss for ALL of today. It's a terrible decision. And after a week of sleep debt & other stuff, your body simply does just need at least 3-7 days of consistency to get back to full sustained energy mode, 1 day of 9H or 7H is never enough. Impatience and desperation, I am finally learning its limits. I have built boundaries on the conscious level & understand its needed. But the subconscious ol bitch called homeostasis is coming back again (especially for late caffeine) I need something stronger to keep it away.

Starting to feel like this really applies to anything. Not sure what the best way to describe it is. "Carved depth of understanding". You could just say don't overcomplicate it, it's merely "deep knowledge" or "expertise" but normally that's perceived as technical mastery of 1 domain For example : Overcompensation On the surface, it's just 5"6 narrow framed liver king taking $20K steroids But, as you here more and more examples and patterns, u realize there's distinct forms of overcompensation. For example, Mark Walberg's adult personality Ultra chaotic teen in jail, trauma, > Adult recovery arc, realises he needs discipline, fixes his life & succeeds > But then spends his entire adult life living in extreme discipline, security and containment mode, and never ever reintegrates his authentic personality, builds boring, predictable, security businesses like golf, fassion, fitness brand, becomes life long family man & business Mongol who goes to bed at 7:30PM every day. Chronic facial tension and serious aura. I'm not against "compensation" when its either useful or authentic. I just mean restrictive overcomensation. A short-average guy working out is actually a smart idea, bodybuilders are literally percieved as 2-3 inches taller to most women because the mass adds a height illusion/assumption. Also a 6"5 guy has his height to offer, he can workout and its a bonus but he already stands out visually, so 6"0 & below guys need another way to stand out, whether its hair, body, style ect.. obviously confidence/massive approaching is the main one anyway. But even that is "compensation". if you truly didn't need compensation, you would just be some king or celebrity and act like a retard and 10/10s just come and blow your dick. Everytihng is technically compensation which isn't bad.

16.12.25 Update on BF % challenge An overview on this Te journal since I started - What are my tangible gains (1) 11% Bodyfat Challenge update 1. I started very well & aggressively (at 800-1200 calorie deficits first 3-4 days, with 200G protien daily & very lean foods) 2. Had a terrible sleep week & high cortisol - Still pushed forward with agressive defecit 3. But after about day 5, it became unsustainable and I needed more carbs & calories 4. Day 5 -7 have became maintenance days, and I stopped tracking calories, and started eating Oatmeal, supermarket milk ect.. became more loose 5. I have finally slept 7+ hours last 2 days and believe I am back on good sleep momentum 6.I sense this challenge slipping away from me if I do not go back into hardcore aggressive tracking & lean dieting mode again tomorrow, I have the sleep base now so. 7. I have lost likely 0.5-1% BF, and removed water retention & bloat, I am currently at around 14-15% bodyfat, my goal is 11% with about 20-30 days. 8. This challenge sounds easy and simple, but 99% fail at it, the statistics are very clear that almost no one (No man, dont wanna be a "ripped" woman its weird and gross) in society is at 10-12% bodyfat, not because its impossible, unhealthy or pointless, but because of the modern world we live in, because humans are hardwired to avoid change, chase comfort and maintain homeostasis. This challenge is easy for the first 4-7 days ... until homeostasis kicks in, you lose patience, you get bored, you get tempted, you start negotiating again ... OR your body just sort subconsciously starts pushing you back to the homeostatic state that has cemented for the last 20-40 years of your life, might not even be conscious "boredom, frustration" .. this is why journalling & having targets & tracking the math is essential, again though 99% lose the consistency to KEEP tracking the math every day, and hypocrite me i havent the past 2 days either). 9. I conclude & recommit to the challenge & go aggressive again tomorrow, 700-1000 deficits until I hit 12-12.5%, then I need to go steadier since the game & strategy changes at that threshold. (2) Te - What are my tangible gains Quit chocolate, sugar binges & random eating. Developed more self awareness - about my mental loops, addictions, subtle addictions (like wasting time chasing gym pumps for constant vanity & image, getting lost in thought loops, mental spirals ... how I think too much, need to just stfu) Reduced negative coping mechanisms to stress, mental spirals & setbacks - Less/almost zero alcohol or beers, chocolate binges Gained more structure, organization, efficiency and consistency in general - Eating, protein, meals 1.5X+ reduced daily caffeine consumption from 300-450MG to 200-250MG, also became more precise and aware of how much caffiene I have, how much is approx in every product & brand, and built boundaries around this Connected to caffiene - had a HUGE issue with being up awake late at night (& when u have fucked logistics & are sleeping alone, this is horrible), I would be awake at 1-4AM, doing nothing, tired but wired, knowing my life is just pissing away, wishing i was an early waker... recently I have been waking up early around 6-8AM daily, however this habit is no way near set in stone and i fear that bitch called homestasis coming back to kiss me, its the same with late caffiene & they're highly connected. I am 100* better off when I awaken early, warrior mode, dead & asleep by 10-11PM, it's difficult and complex because there are many variables & only 1 in this system cuases a break : late caffiene, too much caffiene, stress loop, late stimulation, late eating epsecially protien/fats ect.. list goes on (Mostly) reduced late caffeine timing and stopped all coffee/tea after 10-11AM, (but not perfect, sometimes relapse with dark chocolate/coke zero like 5PM, still adds up to 40-80MG, still room for improvement which I can use sheets data to work with) Improved tracking discipline & structure with sheets - now find it substnationally less frction to build new habits & reduce stubborn ones. Where am I plateauing? Stress & Emotional tension, facial tension Rumination & regret loops - Need to working on pure, raw hollistic spiritual fearelessness too, Negative beliefs & fears about money Have not consistently done subconscious & belief repgramming & affirmations & feel like a hypocryte, I know how important it is Leading with priority tasks daily & acting quickly Can be indecisive to an extent, but definitely getting faster Input Te - tracking & habits has improved > But I have neglected goal setting & Target Te, I especially need a grip over this for changing logistics and making money, it's the other core half of the Te equation i am missing, cant just track and be disciplined and lose sight of the big picture and my vision. Still feel unstable because all my new habits & skills, I can still feel homeostasis & self-sabotage kicking in, so I need to anticipate and introspect around this .. Homeostasis, why 99% fuck change up, not getting complacent or too cocky too soon ("30 days" might be one of those "I broke the habit according to X self help guru online" rules but in reality 30 days doens't fucking undo 20 years of conditioning, need like 3-9+ months of consistency before u can relax a bit I guess) 16.12.25 Bank Account : 1,700 - 1,800 USD Bodyfat : 14-15% Subtropical Logistics : X No Fap day 3.5 7H+, Early sleep, early waking : Becoming more frequent, but needs many more weeks/months of consistency & deepening, Homeostasis wants to bring me back to 3AM wired hell Gym : Making great gains, delts are more round, need to be more efficient & structured though, getting to the point where it becomes more about integration and not wasting time, not just blasting lifts to get through the newbie gains phase. Overthinking, lost in my logical mind .. "There my mind goes again .. whining & compliaining/ over-complicating", Caffeine stimulation, ADD, talk too much ect.. still all an issue - looking into forms of meditation & spirituality to reground myself, however subtropical logistics i intuit with solve 80% of this problem.