Optimized Life

The intensity of a reward is proportionate to its struggle

One must have the humility to work on his weaknesses, intentionally, and at at times, near exclusively You solve awkwardness not by wishing it away, but embracing it. When you accept that life is awkward, & don't feel awkward about the awkward…it either dissipates entirely, or becomes an endearing feature (of any interaction or experience), no longer a disturbance We need to be reminded more than we need to be taught One must have the humility to embrace brute force repetition in the brain, via both physical actions, reminders, and verbal self talk, especially with the most simple things. As despicable as Hitler and Goebbels were, the one useful thing they taught the world is the power of propaganda and repetition, brainwash myself intentionally, every single day, extreme religious level of propaganda until I am so "far gone" in believing & envisioning beneficial things that it's almost impossilbe for me to see anything else, like becoming almost literally blind to all the negative and useless things I dont want. One must have the patience and humility to truly master the basics in any endeavour, into a permanent , steel foundation that can hold any more complex architecture The entire world is a hullicnation running on illusions and perceptions ; don't fight this, work with it. From this, it is self evident that affirmations, self talk, RAS, visualization, programming, and inner-outer world alignment are not just valid, but inescapable, in both positive & negative directions, they shape the world to a large degree, both individual & collective, but especially ones inner world & resulting outer world & experience of life

Without actual commitment and mastery to Te No ENTP has ever succeeded in human history ever, never ... unless they also had some god given talent and were able to leverage that from the start (child actors ect.) Whats the most importnat TOP 1 ? Time Bound emotionally stimulating Imminent deadline (1-3 months max) "Have X $ by 30 days, Move to Y country by X Date ... A deadline (+ commitment to the challenge with deadline on my bedroom door, wall, laptop homescreen, omnipresent) wakes me the fuck up

Especially - Te Use Deadlines, Metrics & Goals Religiously Schedule my time (Not every hour (too draining) but schedule indispensable Tasks weekly at core repeatable time blocks ) Speed > Analysis Act First > Get Live Feedback > Refine > Act Metrics > Feelings Done > Perfect External Organization (Software) Organization & Execution Ownership Introspectively Notice In Vivo - Overthinking, Paralysis & Indecision, STOP & Just Take inmidetate Action, in either direction, adjust later or fail if needed Most Important Top 3 ^ Deadlines & Sprint Challenges Goals & Metrics External Organization

It's honestly waaaay more than just body fat % Specifically. 90% of gym bros dont understand aesthetics, how to workout to build aesthetics. There's like a science to it. And u dont have to be perfect or autistically anal about it 24/7, but still you need to learn the general idea and core aspects and things to avoid with too much frequency. So yeah working out can literally make you look uglier, less proportionate. Theres a basic science to attractive body (narrow waist, wide shoulders, avoid traps, avoid hypertrophic compound movements) But then the science gets double layered technical, because i thought *"Wait a minute, doesnt it suck to merely look good? what about the injury protection benefits of powerlifting (more pain tolerance, less or faster healing form injuries - hit your shin on a hard object? dense muscle & even fat protects that) Again, theres a scientific way to build some functional strength, and tendon strength, without damaging aesthetics or gaining mass in the wrong places, and this is techincal precise knowledge. This made me seriously consider getting a personal trainer for 3-10 sessions. But only a personal trainer who undersands this, because most dont or dont care! Most personal trainers dont even look good, they just look blockey and stockey, because thats the easy lazy thing to do, or they just don't even know i guess. I literally didn't years, but I got somewhat lucky by accidentally building a quite aesthetic physique, because i just naturally liked pushups and sit-ups for example, and calisthenics just tend to work for it. Still my ceiling was capped, I didn't realize how hot I could I be. "Hey this sound so gay and vain bro" Yeah it kind of is gay and vain tbh, I would rather just smoke and drink and be a cool guy and get girls anyway, and while i certainly could get girls that way, especially if wealthy/high status .. 1. i'm not wealthy/high status, so i need every advantage i can get 2. I have elite aesthetic response potential so i just need to see how hot i can become (Effort isnt even worth it for true ectomorphs and endomorphs, if you lack the muscle insertions, metabolism, skin tone, or just have an ugly face, just dont waste your time lol ... For me it's like 3-6 months of training + tan and I literally have a hollywood level physique, I didn't even realize this was possible) 3. It synergizes excellently with > Style & drip, gd cologne, tan, dominant eye contact, posture, generally raising vibe & testosterone (not just image). This all combines to enact visceral primal reactions in women, and I've noticed this in numerous occasions. 4. Downside is you may also lose some girls because >> Can seem too try hard to some + in theory all that time spent in the gym "could be spent approaching"*** ^ But this argument (Leos argument) does not hold up as valid for everyone, why? 1. Leo is an extreme ectomorph, also average looking & pale skinned > it might take him 5-10* the effort of lifting, eating ect.. just get 30% of the results that I get, and he'll still never get there because he doesn't have the muscle insertions, proprtions, wide clavicles + narrow weist, olive skin (tan automatically amplifies muscle tone & vascularity), he also has severe health issues and likely low tesosterone that would make lifting a struggle and draining. 2. Whereas for me, i'm not ever going to be able to literally cold approach for 16 hours a day, there is limits to any activity. so to argue that "time in gym" takes away from cold approaching (when i literally only workout for 30-60 minutes normally) is not true .. even some days if i do workout for 2 hours, theres still plenty of hours in the day to cold approach (well there isn't because of work/business which can take up 8-14 hours literally, but my point still stands) 3. I genuinely enjoy the gym and my body responds well to it, it's a holistic momentum building feedback loop > i go gym, i look leaner and bigger, woman viscerally reacts to me (sometimes even women walking with their Bf and child) that encourages me to keep looking after myself > less likely to smoke, drink alcohol, feel more guilt after eating junk food, more motivated to sleep better (struggled with this for years due to stress, caffeine, capitalism) , dress better, walk with more confidence, and also approach because if I don't, 1. it means all my gym work is essentially a waste of time and im all image and so theres the sun cost fallacy pressure 2. since i'm sort of in this weird feedback loop building a hot player identity my brain feels more inclined to maitain Congruencewith that identity, its a congruency feedback circle essentially 4. Being lean fit and strong is scientifically backed to not only viscerally arouse women but they get literally better sex from it, they get wetter, more orgasms, u got more stamina, u can pick them up and fuck them, they can touch your abs and get turned on, you can choke them, grab their kneck, its just obvious ... but still, it's not the priority, its not the most important thing, its still just hobbie (albiet very worthwhile and rewarding one). Good sex ultimately is down to the energy, vibe, confidence, competence, conenction ect. so it doesn't matter, leo still is great at sex, probably 10* better at sex than 90% of jacked men, but those jacked men are complete wasted potential, maybe they have no personality, boring sex, it's just a force mulitplier again ... Then again aesthetically jacked men are extremely rare so i have no idea, i dont even consider 90% of gym bros as "jacked" they're just big and blocky, with monkey brains pounding ice cream all day and lifting shit. Tbh if someone genuinely gets aesthetically jacked its probably likely they have the learning capacity to learn how to give good sex, but i have no fucking idea, im not a fucking social psychoolgicalist researcheruru A reminder to myself and the world : Everything every human ever says or argues (including X ultra intelligent guru or high status person u worship), is either flat out wrong, or just biased to their own specific perspective and temperament 50-80% of the time. Trust absolutely no one, not even yourself.

Strength of Character is the only way : NO folding to others NO folding to stress No folding to your goals or commitments (Failing on goals or commitments isn't folding if you keep going, dont need to "quit fapping" the first week, need to try, get to day 1, fap, admit its hard, get to 20 days fuck it all up, admit its hard, go back, 4 days, fail again, get back up keep going until you're a no fap warrior) NO anxiety (anxiety comes, but can't fold to it, can't double down on it, you step on it, and keep walking) Perseverance Boldness Its the most important thing Until this is fully maxed out? Whats the fucking point, why would I write on here, why would i comment on anything, why would I even have children, there is no fulfilling life without maxed out strength of character, I admit this here, in a sense i regret ever journalling ever and not just fully maxing out my character first, but alas it is how it is and it seems I am doing both continously To building max strength of character, I dedicate my fucking life to it, i'll still fail often, thats the path, its never an easy ride War is the answer, Just go to war bro, might sound cringe, but its the best reframe for anything, anxiety, procrastination, hesitation, just go to war, but people who didn't mentally/spiritually/emotionally/visually catacpault themselves 3D in their mind and body into the War like i did for a week do not get this, it will go in one ear and out the other, "war" is just a wikipedia list of dry facts to them, it hasn't changed them like it did for me, I never gave a shit about learning facts to sound smart, it was about personal change and depth. I'M AWAKEEEEE

AHH FUCK I REMEMBERED THE IDEA ! Folding To Stress - Most Men Fold to Stress, They always fucking Fold to Stress I love this fucking word, "Fold", it jsut works it just clicks, u dont ever fucking fold in life u dont fold thats a second idea connected to just hte idea of not folding and people will make u fold, "make" u fold its often more subtle, rarely by actual force, but the subtlety of it has its own potent "force". (Why you here at this club John? wat u doing here? Where's your friends? (John literally just moved to this city & decided to go out because he doesn't no anyone so how the fuck he gonna know people without going out alone lol), (subtle tone & expression of judgment & condescension of the unconscious gaslighter). 99% of Johns (especially under 25) will fold in this situation because they're just too in their head and their emotions and then the insecurity and self consciousness bubbles up ect.. But what if John just didn't give a shit? in fact that kinda interaction made him get off on being out alone that night and he held his frame and kept going ... no gaurantee but sometimes god rewards that level of persistance, cute girl just randomly shows up at 1am & she actually doesnt care that johns alone, & wants to meet a mysterious foreigner. DId Alexandre Pechersky fold to stress, or sit around and fucking masturabte, when he came to sobidor camp? He inmediately knew it was an iminent death camp, he played all the gaurds like a mastermind and did it without even losing his frame or dignity or socially appeasing them once, he built the plan he executed it lifted everyoine up in the proces,s, what a fucking hero man. Alright, no more ideation, I'm done now, i cant waste my time or got lost in my mind. 1. Psychotic ESTJ Integration & Overcompensation (the wheels to my magic suitcase) 2. Never Fold to Stress 3. Never Fold (To others), in life, EVER Done. No more actualized.org IM READY TO FUCK THE WORLD UP, FUCK SHIT UP SOCIETY IS FUCKED I WONT FOLD

AH FUCK I HAD A GREAT INSIGHT AND I FUCKING FORGOT IT AS MY COMPUTER WAS LOADING BECAUSE THIS SITE LOADS REALLY FUCKING SLOW TO FUCKING LOGIN FUCK I KNOW IT WAS GOOD BECAUSE U KNOW WHEN U GET THAT VIBRATORY WARM FEELING IN YOUR BODY PRACTICCAL INSIGHT THERES ALWAYS (SOMEWHAT DIVERGENT/INDIRECT OR OTHERWISE) AN ELEMENET OF PRAGMATISM AND THAT PARLY WHY IT FEELS "WARM" BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCKING POINT OF JUST "UNDERSTANDING REALITY" FOR ITS OWN SAKE, THAT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FAP TOO MUCH, FUCKING FAPPERS FUCK FAPPING IT RUINS YOUR FUCKING LIFE. Continue later : 1. ESTJ Integration - Essential For ENTPs (especially 8w7) >> "Work on your strengths is nonsense, they're already overpowered nothing to work on, but moreso entp strengths like a special suitcase without wheels, great build and weight sexy design and leverage potential, maybe there's a magic geenie in there, but there aint no fucking good wheels to carry them places, and ESTJ integration is the wheels, we need fucking wheels. 2. Fucking forgot Not just Integration - healthy and Obligatory overcompensation, psychotic level of overcompensation of ESTJ Integration necessary. That's the only way u become the rare ENTP who actually practically succeeds and doesn't sit aroudn with a box of wires and supplements and half read books and weird notes on your wall and deleted journals with $333 in your bank account at 40 years old. I'M MOGGING ALL THESE ENTPS WITH MY ESTJ INTEGRATION BITCH Intense discipline, never ever miss a fucking day Jocko Willink NO PORN NO FAPPING EVER, NO FAP. 90% FUEL AND LIFE FORCE DIET WAKE UP EARLY EVERY FUCKING DAY AND JUMP OUT THE BED PUSHUPS, MILITARY, GYM WORK LIKE A FUCKING MAUL EVERY DAY NEVER EVER HAVE UNDER $20K IN THE BANK GOALS METRICS NUMBERS SYSTEMS And then I can fucking dance in the dark after I HATE NOT HAVING POWER IM AN 8W7 IT MAKES ME SICK IT GIVES ME CORTISOL I WAS GETTING POWER BUT I LOST MY POWER GOT CHEATED GOT DISAPPOINTED LOST SOME POWER BACK TO SQUARE ONE GOD GIVE ME POWER GIVE ME FREEDOM GIME FUCK U MONEY FUKC U SOCIETY FUKC U I DO WHAT I WNAT IM AMPED UP ON CORTISOL THIS NOT HEALTHY NEED TO CALM DOWN POWER LETTING GO OHH NOOOO

@UnbornTao Please can I change the title of this journal to "Exploring ideas" Title is too posey and try hard

word "psychedelics" honestly makes me cringe. I will never take or recommend some loose use of "psychedelics" I mean a moderate, intentional light dose of mushrooms for pragmatic & healing purposes. Anything else is just stupid and pathetic to me, entering "hell realms" and shit P.s "Note I do not recommend taking Datura" WHY WOULD U PHRASE THAT SO POLITELY LIKE ITS EVEN A POSSIBLIITY, ITS LITERALLY A POISON,

Re-evaluating Arnold Schawrzniger (I'm only on no fap day 2.5 had a relapse, if i was on no fap day 20, this would hit 100* harder, my writing would be better, i'd feel this video even more, my brain would be 3* faster, No Fap is fucking sacred, you're a fucking moronic loser if you disagree and you must be shamed for it, fapping is evil, NO FAP) Re-evaluating Arnold Schawrzniger I've recently been assessing with AI and quantifying the relative rarirty of specific individuals relative to population (highly mathematically speculative but builds an uncosious intuitive radar of what "talent" actually means) Arnold Schwarnigger 1. Phyisque potential and aesthetics (raw genetics) - Top 1 in 100,000 (virtually impossible for 99.9999% of men to get that big and to achieve his physique with any amount of steroids, muscle insertions are genetic, even elite athletes dont necessarily have aesthetics, narrow weist, perfect ratios ect..) 2. Charisma : 1 in 20 (1 in 20 genetically) but 1-100 to 1-1000 overall (He's charasmatic but not that much imo, very confident ambitious and quite funny, which automatically makes him way above average, but that's the cap, elite level charisma imo requires unique flare, if you think of unique actors who have unpredictability, mystery, certain artists and muscians that have that Inimitable aura, thats 1 in 10,000, 1 in 100K 1 in 1 million level charisma. I'd say historical figures like Oscar Schindler would count in this too, not in the cool artist type of way but social intelligence, charisma manipulation was overpowered elite 3. Internal Confidence, Strength of character : 1 in 1000 to 1 in 10,000 4. Creativity, uniqueness, outside the box thinking, mystery ect.. : 1 in 10 to 1 in 15 Creativity is separate to work ethic, thought outside the box enough to move country, succeed which is still rare but thats the cap. He still followed a somewhat predictable structure and path, wasn't that artistic or stylistic 5. Social Intelligence & Manipulation Capacity (Highly developed not necessarily genetic) : 1 in 300 to 1 in 1000 HMMM, I think I rated arnolds charisma WAYY TOO LOW Actually, wayy too low. He's still not 1 in a million because he lacks that unqiue flare of an elite actor like Vincent Cassel, al Pacino But probably more like 1/100 at least - just because his mindset was so overpowerd, it carries him above everything else IM SLIGHT AUTIST I MUST GET THE NUMBERS CORRECT, FUCK! MY CHARISMA POTENTIAL IS WAYYYYY HIGHER THAN ARNOLDS, WAYYYYYY HIGHER. I honestly have no idea what my max potential is because it requires combining no fap, correct environment, state, possibly psychedleics ect... When i talk about GENETICS it's about POTENTIAL and RESPONSE to the right accumulation of months and years of specific inputs, people think "genetics" just means being born and then boom like nononono, theres millions men hiding in their potential who have no idea who they could be, they even appear like average or only slightly above average to their own parents, their parents dont even realize what they're capable of, because many parents care more about the image of you and fitting in to their catholic ideal or whatever right, not about "whats my sons true potential" like 99.9% of fathers never ask that fucking question. All my estimates above are completely my own speculative guess, Apart from 1. (AI rated him top 1 in 100K for physique)

Why Tom Torero was miserable and empty I never knew the guy, not even of the guy until post death And i'm sure , his business cancellation was the ultimate tipping point that ended it for him, since his lifestyle was now over But here's the thing : He was empty and melancholy in the coming years anyway He lived a constant nomadic lifestyle, always travelling around, lone wolf seducer, Jack Reacher type He boned hundreds of women, nearly always ONS I'm sure he revisited differnt places or formed a pattern but, he never stayed anywhere He never moved and settled anywhere, no community, no friendship group, No long term girlfriends He had 1 income source, 1 business model, that was the foundation of his life, logistics, very fragile No large investments or holdings in crypto, stocks, gold, real estate, no homes I doubt he was even that physically healthy, always travelling, probably ate convivence food, he didn't workout or have any muscle mass He didn't show much other interests or pursuits of satisfaction : creative business idea, invention or some competitive hobbies Very easy to see why he was so jaded, it's not "because women don't make you happy bro", way more nuanced Feminine women y do contribute to male happiness significantly But he could've just evolved into .. 3 attractive long term girlfriends, then had fun stranger sex once a month, maybe children? He could've tried psychedelics, he could've learnt new languages and actually tried truly living in 1 of those countries rather than just being a lone tourist There's like a million things he could've done to make his life more sustainable, rewarding, interesting, meaningful and less lonely and empty

I NEVER smoked for so many years, barely a single day without smoking apart from NYE i would smoke literally once a year and i have smoked every day for months, fucking months, chronically I FUCKING ripped up my ciggaretes and thwew themn on the fucking floo r u cannnot quit every fucking habnit at onjce but i fuckijng quite smoking FUCK BECAUSE SMOKING AGES YOU FAST WTFFFF IM A VERY FUCKING PROFUNDLY HANDSOME MAN AND IM SMOKING IT AWAY FUCKKKKK THAT BRO TODAY I GET DRUNK BUT I QUIT SMOKIG I QUIT AT LEAST BEER DOESNT DIRECTLY AGE YOU AND DRY OUT AND FUCKIN KILL THE COLLAGEN PORETIEN FOR YOUR SKIN AND WRINKLE YOUR FUCKING FACE FUYCK THAT

The War Never Ends I tried to quit caffiene 3.5 days ago I have semi succeeded but I had some cacao drink today, so not completely Probably had 50-60mg caffiene in 3-4 days, and still, I do not feel good at all, how long will this last? I dunno but I'm a cynical guy, not so niave to the idea of fast recovery anymore My skin has literally another 40-80 days just to fully recover from short term smoking Im sure caffiene withdrawal fucks you for anywhere from 10-40 days, it's a final boss many people underestimate Gotta wonder why almost no one literally ever quits caffiene hmmmm? Is it because of all the antioxidants? lmao

You provided zero annoyance to me at all, hard to infer tone or reaction from written words You are pleasant and polite, and that's appreciated I was just being honest that : I am not benign and the world isn't a nice place, nor is it becoming a nicer place, nor do I even need it to be anymore, I just need to make useful choices, cant much control if the world burns as long as I made mine count

God forgive all my wasted times God forgive all my dead ends God forgive all my internet brain rots God forgive all my delusional insecurities God forgive all the time I spent online God forgive all the times i dind't approach God especially forgive the times I didn't approach the love at 1st sight type of women, of which have been several God forgive all the wrong people I trusted God forgive all the people I listened to God forgive all the times I didn't think critically God forgive all the times I started and dind't finish something God forgive all my regrets God forgive my bitterness God forgive the times I hated women God forgive me for falling for all the modern traps many times, staring at screens all day, disconnected God forgive me for trying to get validation from women, that's a scam God forgive me for prioritizing money and business so much God forgive me for judging peoples value according to their wealth, or career God forgive me for caring what people thought of me for so long, and god forgive me for deluding myself that I didn't care anymore when technically I still did at the bios level God forgive me for not studying history and how the world really works sooner God forgive me for not developing my own voice and values sooner, always just going along with the "successful" people I knew, like a dog God forgive me for not taking mushrooms sooner God forgive me

You're in for a rude awakening then lmao, that was not the purpose of this post I asked for forgiveness of futile, delusional and tragic mistakes, like not approaching, insecurities and wasting time I dind't ask for the world to be a nicer place, or to be benign I'm actually dangerous, just dangerous and human

Not sure if i should advise on "becoming like him" because to me he is more a very close (70-85%) revelation of my true self, I had already been finding and embracing myself for years and I finally found him again Lookwise its how he the embraces and styles himself, long wavey hair, sometimes long stubble, sometimes old money or more exuberant and sensual style, sometimes more bad boy look, it's the flexible mix of slightly adrogenous style but always with a dominant, dark, brooding and intense, sexual charisma behind it, that doesn't apologise or try to fit in or be likeable or tame

He's literally the sexiest, cooler mf alive, can't believe i forgot about this guy He's my celebrity soul father Dark, brooding charisma Creative, intellectual but not in a try hard or geeky way European, never conformed or souled his soul to Hollywood Always dating stunners Aristocrat bad boy archetype Very masculine, but not in a square, one dimensional way, full of chaos and sensuality Drinks parties and smokes (something I stopped but I admit that cooler people tend to drink and smoke, doesn't mean it's inherently worth it) IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH THIS, YO;RE A FUCKING PEASANT BUT MOST WON'T AGREE BECAUSE MOST OF YOU ARE FUCKING PEASANT FUCKS ME AND VINCENT, WE'RE INVINCENTIBLE AND ABOVE YOUS

HE'S LITERALLY MY FATHER GOAT

The War Against Presence I'm on day 21 No Fap It's highly worth it But it's only a force multiplier Without presence? > vulnerable scattered energy with no direction Many modern societies are completely degraded, people are numbed to zombies staring at their phones, and this is a huge problem, some countries are impacted less than others, some cultures are more intact, some cultures have stronger family bonds, better relationships, more prescense, but some other countires and cultures are completely ruined beyond repair, especially becuase it's a silent insidious killer, that can't really be dealt with or enforced with force in realistic method I am seeing the limits of no fap, which is that you need presence Do I mediate or is it a waste of time? Just meditating for 5 minutes, even an hour a day to me feels stupid The "mediation" needs to be 24/7, every single second of my life, otherwise what's the point? I look at my phone for no reason "Nope i'm practicing presense", this kind of shit Not holding strong enough eye contact with a girl? there you go, it's presence practice, "Meditation" It must be inescapable, ubiquitous, omnipresent, inevitable, constant and unwavering I still think focused mediation with timer is Probably GOOD at first to kickstart the wiring again, but it needs to become an integrated discipline And of course, taking mushrooms too, a kickstarter, jumpstart with these 2 i gues 1. Mushrooms 2. Mediation with timer 3. Deliberate social Prescnece / eye contact / gaze holding 4. Integrated god mode

1. I spoke about realizing how little you know 2. But there's also, How Deep do you know it? For years I know society breeds week men and castrates them, schools, parents, offices and culture in the west does this, perhaps to varying degrees per individual country, but across the board, most of the "west" (including USA, western, southern & northern Europe) does this Now I've sort of known this for since about 22, definitely much better than most normies But for years I didn't KNOW IT deeply enough Such that, If I was subtly pressured to a family gathering, I would just eat the pasta and whatever other crap, and I would watch the sports on TV, because a part of me still believed in it as merely a healthy hobby, balance Now becuase I know so deeply if my family dare tempt me with any of those distractions I'll get viscerally angry and agressive at them, no negotiation at all and I'll look at them in disgust, because for trying to tempt me against my will, and disgust at them for being normies I worked a kitchen job, and this woman, who had a proto-typical normie hat wearing "I'm everything that's wrong with society" on her face, fat as fuck, would ALWAYS tempt me into eating the dirty cake. And she wouldn't just do it once, she'd offer it, i'd say i'm ok, she'd say "are you sure??" "i's say im ok" Eventually that bitch would tempt me, her tone, when she'd offer it multiplie times, I hadn't had time to eat, i'd been cleaning the dishes and prepping stupid sandwiches for hours, drained, after weeks I suddenly had a moderate sugar addiction. Now obviously I could've been stronger and learnt how to just say NO and im not denying that, but again it would've been way easier fo rme to say no, and I would've, if I just KNEW more deeply the trap, and KNEW how against that shit I was, not shallow like "sugar is bad" but "ohh this is the thing where society tries to castrate me to be like them, oooh shit watch the fuck out, dont eat that" I have old eyes now for a young man, I've seen too much, i know too much. I know what society is doing to men, and I'm fucking sick of it and I won't fucking stand for it anymore, so I won't hold back any more, I wont be a polite sugar eating masturbating presentable fake neutered bitch anymore with no dawg in me, sitting around watching sports and eating fucking pasta. Fuck society man

God forgive my arrogance to spirituality It's not what i thought it was Spirituality is real life That mythical gaze an INFJ woman locks onto you, soft but enchanted and haunted, aroused but nurturing, awakened Or that bold electric potent gaze a ENFJ woman locks onto you, within a split second No Fap is spirituality War is spirituality Even power and winning frames is spirituality It's not about being nice or tame Life is war Life is spirituality

I'm back to day 12 of no fap and I'm feeling my power come back. Feel it in my walk, feel it in my breath, feel it in my will, feel it in my dawg Getting so so much better at getting frames back and winning frames, from people, workers, women (who just want validation and control masquerading as dating) I'm learning to win frames without try hard dominance, without attacking people, without drama, i'm just starting to win frames, im getting real power