[for fucks sake it's been 4 years and i'm still randomly having reactivations at night]

hey i can emphatise i used to leave awful comments on all of rupert spiras videos for teaching non duality. funnily enough what really triggered me was the self inquiring

[I need some feedback on the awakening process?]

On 11/28/2023 at 7:58 PM, witpo44 said:

But I also wonder if I’m opening Pandora’s Box

i wish i had this simple worry before i started. it seemed so freaking innocent, i heard a self inquiry instruction and it sort of clicked and i went into that space "behind the thoughts". 

 

On 11/28/2023 at 7:58 PM, witpo44 said:

would you hesitate on this journey in any way if you were mothering kids who still really need you? 

i did hear gary weber talking about having particular difficulty about close relationships or something. that comes kinda late though i wouldnt worry

[Undecided whether to pursue life experience or isolate and discover Truth?]

12 hours ago, NineHfanbase said:

Im worried im putting all this time and effort to uphold a fiction, and the end result will just be a stronger, more dissatisfied ego in an even deeper rut.

its true that the ego cant have a good time realising stuff doesnt really exist, and youd have to experience the whole thing's resistances and attachments and fears and work it out over years... then every once in a while, a moment of great clarity, great synchronicity... just the dreamer and the mind

[Question to those who have taken MeO]

On 3/10/2023 at 7:42 PM, GLORY said:

1. What are your Realizations about how this Universe works (about God, Infinity, Nonduality, Solipsism, Purpose) 
2. How does it feel to be highly conscious (what exactly changes, do visuals remain the same)
3. Is Consciousness absolute or are there also finite seperated Sub-consciousnesses within the Absolute Consciousness
4. Can Consciousness replicate or divide itself or create something disconnected from itself
5. Why is my Consciousness not on a constant level and sometimes higher and sometimes lower / why am I not conscious when I sleep
6. What is the difference between being Consciousness and being conscious
7. Am I conscious (me who is typing and asking this questions) / do I or my Consciousness exist
8. Am I your imagination or are you my imagination
9. Is Imagination the activity of Consciousness when it takes a form/shape (like a table)
10. If I am God/Consciousness why am I not simultanously conscious about everything (the whole Universe with all creatures consciousness)
11. Why I am a limited me and look at the Universe being "behind my eyes" instead of being everything at once

Quote

What are your Realizations about how this Universe works (about God, Infinity, Nonduality, Solipsism, Purpose) 

Can't be expressed in words, its just what it is

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How does it feel to be highly conscious (what exactly changes, do visuals remain the same)

Doesn't feel like anything

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Is Consciousness absolute or are there also finite seperated Sub-consciousnesses within the Absolute Consciousness

Absolute(else it wouldn't be absolute)

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Can Consciousness replicate or divide itself or create something disconnected from itself

It does that a lot. I call it the "story" it makes up with its characters and dramas

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Why is my Consciousness not on a constant level and sometimes higher and sometimes lower / why am I not conscious when I sleep

There is no experience of being "unconscious". You go to sleep and wake up later to create the concept of "i was unconscious" in your awareness. You can not experience anything else other than being aware. So your consciousness is on a constant level, as in, it exists

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Am I conscious (me who is typing and asking this questions) / do I or my Consciousness exist

yes

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Am I your imagination or are you my imagination

Its all stories

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If I am God/Consciousness why am I not simultanously conscious about everything (the whole Universe with all creatures consciousness)

You are conscious about everything. You can't be conscious of something that doesn't exist e.g. "separate" creatures that have hypothetical "separate consciousnesses"

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Why I am a limited me and look at the Universe being "behind my eyes" instead of being everything at once

Its the default mode we operate because survival doesn't care about truth or anything of that matter

[Meditation = distraction?]

21 hours ago, inFlow said:

I just realized that when you are going into meditation it's yet another distraction from Truth. Or am I wrong? What are your thoughts on this?

i made a topic about this on reddit and it had many many very insightful replies, but the thread got deleted

the jist of the top replies is that meditation is like a bone to throw, to facilitate in getting to Truth. I do still think it is a bit of a distraction as well

[Stories of deep states of consciousness you entered into?]

i once did 250mg of 5meo dmt and tripped for 3 days straight, cant remember much. Something about cyclical-infinity, rebirth, manifestation. I remember dying many many many times over followed by cathartic release realising i cant really die. Cant remember much else. I don't recommend it.

[Solipsism/imagination]

I had this thought. It's like a good logic with a bad logic combined to cause a bad conclusion that somehow exists. Idk

[Reading other's minds]

Quote

 Is it because of the common consciousness that we share or merely because the sense that we gain from practice?

In my experience, the common consciousness that we share.

When i experienced my non dual awakening, my friend was very strangely having the exact same experience at the same time(i shared with him the self inquiry tehnique the same time i found out about it). So we both had the experience of we are one, at the exact same time, after roughly a year and a half of dedicated self inquiry,

Several times, it felt like we were in each other's head. This experience happened in several bursts, then a final burst that lasted for 3 days(no psychidelic experience)

Whenever a "burst" happened, its as if we both knew a burst was happening in the other,  and were driving each other's minds into "it". We were both unphased but fully aware of what was happening. This sense of being "connected" was also shared with 2 complete strangers, which left me wondering if they were also truly awakened, or the saying "everyone is already awake" is really somewhat true

[deeper jhanas/samadhis]

20 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

@Monster what practices have you been doing to access such levels? maybe you need some time to get used to such states. 

it was self inquiry at first but its hard to describe deeper levels. Like softening into it very hard to describe. Nirvikalp Samadhi is somewhat akin to it

 

I emailed Raltson about it and he said you can go too far. Now learning about soul leaving the body stuff like that-strange its left unspoken

[deeper jhanas/samadhis]

@Frenk best i can explain with an example- my friend asks me did i study for whatever. I can feel the answer rising in my consciousness, and i want to answer, like a normal human being but then it fades as soon as its noticed. Then the reaction of panic to that mundane desire to answer dissapearing comes up then it dissapears just as quick(like, under a second). On the outside,  my friend thinks im being a massive dick completely unresponsive and ignoring him like hes not there. On the inside im in very intense oneness with all these mundane desires and reactions coming and going with big pauses of no thought in between. Does not feel functional.

 

to clarify, there's oneness right now. Back to "functional levels". Seems to be my new baseline. But it can go much deeper. And those deeper levels are not functional

[deeper jhanas/samadhis]

why does no one ever talk about this? It comes a point when you deepen the enlightenment so much it becomes hard to function. maybe i am some genetic freak? I started self inquiry 5 months ago. First started getting glimpses 1 month in. Then just cruising in the glimpse 2 months in. But it keeps getting deeper and deeper and deeper. It gets deep to such a point even the desire to speak itself fades. The desire to do a lot of things simply fade!!! This is social suicide. This is i think the 3rd time it happened. the last month or so i kept oscilating between "too much" consiousness and coming back down. I could not believe it possibly could be because of the consciousness work simply because no one ever speaks about it. "You can never have too much oneness" is the general premise. Why isnt this being talked about more?? What am i even experiencing??