BlueOak

If you are asking me, hate breeds hate. - Look in the mirror, you are considering a hateful act because of how he treated another. So what happens next in this pattern? Which part of you, do you want to experience or magnify? We talked about the thief, the good Samaritan, the bystander, and a few other options.

If you are the designated driver on nights out everyone will love to have you there. For your own enjoyment, pick some music you like and a place you'd visit sober anyway. Put your energy into finding out where the best nights are, bands are playing, or DJ, whatever your, and your girlfriend's tastes are. Something with the best feel to the place, and environment. You can get some of that from pictures of the place, reviews, and just listening to samples of who is playing. You could find a specific night that travels to different places you'd like to visit, for one example of a fairly consistent good night out. If you are having a good time, it'll probably come across to her too, and that'll make the date better for both of you.

@Nivsch At the moment, I run twice a week 2 miles a time, and I walk most other days between 1-2 miles, unless the ankles need me to stay home, but its fairly consistent. I would aim for three days running, but I can't yet with my legs. @Thought Art Appreciate this thanks, I haven't done Taoist exercises for a lot of years, so I'll have a look.

@QVx How I blew all my relationships, jobs, careers and opportunities in 20's and 30's. Everything is down to a relationship, or how we relate to that part of ourselves when we experience it. One part depression. - Fight (Anger turned inward) One part avoidance. - Flight One part cowardice. - Freeze Standard trauma responses.

@Michael569 Thanks to the hospital not calling me last week, and easter break no. They said call on the 29th if they hadn't contacted me but that's easter Friday. I do have pinching in and around the heart. I have warmth over the heart. Soreness there. I have sleep issues and constant light pressure there. The chart does say I am in hypertension stage 1 or 2 for blood pressure but i'll need more readings to be sure. What threw me off was while running, and exercising, it didn't noticeably exaggerate.

Thanks for the questions and ideas. I had a blood test for diabetes and B12 that I requested, and I am still waiting on the results. I could see vitamin D being low as I am inside a lot, I have been walking more recently alongside my runs when my ankles are fit enough. Being a few stone overweight I have to balance my exercise, I dropped weightlifting entirely to lose enough weight (muscle) to run twice a week and walk when my ankles are fit for it. Its fairly clean air here so its a nice walk. Financially, I am in a major squeeze. I have been trying to make my diet work, I did have to go to bread for a long time as it was filling for the price but since the heart issues i've dropped it and cereal (and oatmilk and garlic so far to lessen any burping or gas). I do use rice as its cheap. I have come off coffee, even though right now with my sleep problems, I need a cup. I am a vegan so I don't eat eggs or dairy. I can't afford to buy organic produce at the moment. I used to eat a lot more nuts, now probably I have some every 2-3 days for protein and oils. I don't have any bleeding in the gums my teeth have always been looked after well, I do have a sore gum issue on the leftside jaw in my mouth from when my jaw unlocked doing yoga, I didn't realise for years it was locked on the left side from an old accident as a kid, but again its money to afford getting it checked. Last year, the way I got through my last bout of sleep problems was to overeat carbs during the day to keep focused. This year I can't do that, with my heart issue. Last blood pressure reading today was 137/91 - 75 and 137/86 68. So just reading the chart I can see https://www.verywellhealth.com/average-blood-pressure-by-age-5085328 Some hyper tension there. Stage 1 or 2, which explains why these videos are helping, and I offer it again for anyone else with heart tension issues (which is a self diagnosis for now), as you can feel the results even if its a bit sore at the time. Thanks for the words, all the best.

1) Israel having that much influence over your country is not at all healthy and should be stopped right now. 2) Stopping weapons shipments takes 5 seconds. 3) What am I doing? I am not the president of the United states. If you are insinuating I have some power over the American government overseas and I am not using it, by all means let me know and I'll go and do it. This is a strawman deflection, and you know it. 4) Nobody mentioned Trump. Another strawman in this conversation. - I am specifically speaking about: A) Your analysis of the political spectrum is skewed a long way from the actual political spectrum. B) Your annoyance with people name-calling a man with the most power in the face of this genocide is frankly mind-boggling. Now we can add to it: Stopping weapon shipments and leveraging power over a small country that relies on you to survive, does not take a long time. Biden is extremely pro-Israel and okay with what is going on; otherwise, this wouldn't be happening with American support. If you need me to say Trump is too for your election, yes, politically, your entire country is pro-genocide. (And so is mine)

Any relationship based on healing, mutual or not, is going to be over when you're done healing. In your dark time you wanted a friend, you got one and because she showed you love when you needed it and I'm guessing nobody else was, maybe you fell in love with her. Learn to love yourself first and foremost, whatever you hate about yourself or what happened to you or your life, stop. Stop feeding that cycle, stop being hard on yourself, and don't look to fill the void inside yourself with someone else. Friends can be great, partners can be wonderful, but you've got to get right with yourself. 10 Years at 40, it's fine. 10 Years at 17, no walk away now, be honest with her about why, be the adult. I've always thought age becomes less meaningful the older you are, as the relative time you've had on this earth gets closer together. So if this was you at 40 asking about a 30-year-old old I'd say go for it, at 30 she's old enough to know what she wants, to know life, and to be mature enough to make informed decisions. At teen ages, she's not going to have the life experience to be mature, the context for her choices, or any understanding of herself or what she wants out of life. You aren't yet fully mature either, from my experience with myself and others, most of us do a lot of maturing during our 20's. In this case, you have to be the adult and put a stop to it. - Plus outside of the physicality of it all, and feeling good to be loved, what are you going to have in common to really bond over? I dated a 28-year-old while being 20 for example, she lied about her age at first, which I forgave her for, I was too young to consider it odd and I was happy just getting laid (and as a student with her cooking). It was purely physical and didn't last. We didn't connect beyond that initial attraction, which lasted 6 good months, but that was it. I was a messed up guy at 20, so she showed me affection, and I took that without questioning it. Whatever you've been through to put you in your dark moods, people here can help. Love and look after yourself.

The real question to ask yourself in that situation is, why spend so much time and energy toward hating on someone else? Sounds like you made it a real project and invested a lot of energy into it. I mean that sincerely as a way to grow, and to make it a useful experience overall, no matter where life takes you next.

If we are the observation of experience, if the act of observation is hindered or more detailed, does it change us? My answer would be yes, but I can appreciate the opposite absolute view just as easily. What exists to be observed is all there is, so any degree of measurement is measured against nothing but an illusion.

Sorry I am double replying, I just caught this. You want certainty to have uncertainty and be spontaneous? Why not go straight to being spontaneous if that's what you want? Do you mean you want certainty in life so you have freedom to do things while being secure? You can't schedule spontaneity. I am a person who craves certainty myself, often at the expense of actually living life or experiencing it. Example: I was stuck in a town for 4 hours. I often talk about wanting to socialize more, I was in a store where a group activity was going on that I wanted to try, but rather than think about just asking to join, I asked the owner if I could have a card and book an appointment to join another time I was out that way. My need for certainty and to have things arranged wrecked my chance of actually experiencing what I wanted. (Story of my life). The worst part was I didn't think about what i'd just done till I was on the way home.

@Abe27 Doesn't have to be deep focus, emotional, or any intellectual thing you can think about, name, label etc. Walking down the road, just to walk down the road, just for the experience. For me that's the end mastery of anything, there is nothing left but the experience itself, and one way to start seeking or reach enlightenment.

I didn't get an appointment with the hospital, they told me to call today if they had not got in contact and it is good friday , so no calls till Tuesday. Even the urgent care line the receptionist put me in contact with wasn't running, hope nobody needs it :D. So i've been really careful with what I eat and I've been doing a lot of sound healing. I took it as an opportunity to do what I could to heal myself. *Wish I had some of that new light therapy to hand! Probably the most effective has been these two: I can really feel the effects on the central nerve as I type this. In case they help someone else, here are some others I used:

Sure. I'd focus on finding out, and put energy and effort into that. Personality tests can help but, I could list a hundred things, they'd just be words on a page. The experience of them is and knowing yourself is what it's about. It could be the opposite of your personality, which you are seeking to experience. It could be a journey of self-discovery itself, or enlightenment. From your words though, it's certainty you are talking about. I need to get this covered, make sure this is ready etc. Here are two speakers on that: https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/relationships-and-the-six-human-needs https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/do-you-need-to-feel-significant/ Here is one of the main tests at the moment to start you off. https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Its difficult to put enlightenment into words, as it crosses so many diverse experiences and topics related to our existence here. Mastering a craft, you'll find love or appreciation for the experience, or having had the experiences, and you'll start to see yourself even if you don't realize it at the time. At some point unnecessary things fall away, and you are not doing it for any other reason than to do it, you are fully in that moment.

@Hardkill Rhetoric means nothing without action. Calling Joe Biden Genocide Joe means about as much, it's the very least someone can do, for these radical far leftists that you are listing here. If that is the radical far left? What's an organized socialist party, an anarchist commune, or a thousand-man street protest that won't move till their demands are met and they are willing to risk prison for it? Where does that fit on the scale here? And don't tell me it's alongside Secular talk, Kyle is interesting when he's not overly moralizing, but he's not anywhere near a far-left radical socialist in his policies. No action is being taken to stop the genocide or real pressure exerted to do so. So no change will happen. It'll be done when Israel decides its done. America is nowhere near the center-left. It's closer to fascist than it is leftwing. Note it's not fascist, it's just closer. Remember a government is both parties or all parties involved in the process of it, representing the people, but even the Democrats alone are center-right. Themes of Fascism (And your two parties embrace of them) Anti-communism (Both) Anti-intellectualism (Republican) Anti-Pacifism (Both) Authoritarianism (Both taking steps here to avoid debates, silencing dissent where possible) Corporatism (Both) Conspiracism (Republican Mostly) Chauvinism (Republican) Class collaboration (Both) Cult of personality (Republican) Dictatorship (Neither) Direct action (Republican) Dirigisme (Neither) Eugenics (Neither) Heroic Capitalism (Both) Heroic realism (Republican) Imperialism (Both) Indoctrination (Both) Interventionism (Both) Irrationalism (At this point Both) Machismo/Heroic Masculinity (Republican) Militarism (Both) National syndicalism (Republican) Nationalism (Both) One-party state (Neither) Perpetual war (Both though both deny it) Populism (Republican) Proletarian nation (Some not much) Racism (Not touching this one) Reactionary Modernism (Republican) Social Darwinism (Both) Social order (Both) State capitalism (Neither) Statolatry (Both given its corporations running things and their idolization) Supercapitalism (America is in its heroic capitalism still, mostly) Syncretic politics (Democrat) Third Position (Neither) Totalitarianism (Some of this in how your political system crushes anything but two parties) Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fascism_and_ideology Is this screaming center left for you then? Oh and if you are wondering, most of the far-left accounts were purged ten years ago and haven't been platformed since. Anyone that does hold a radical far-left view you'll never find on youtube, unless they can word things exceptionally well and someone gives you a link not buried in the algorithm. Michael Brooks was one such man.

Looks. Barely at all. By the diverse range of opinions you are getting, you can tell we've all had a lot of different life experiences, with a lot of different cultures. I learned this in my early 20's, when we all used to immaturely look at an ugly guy and wonder how he got that stunning girl. Eventually, I stopped wondering. Looks mean almost nothing. If you just want to get laid, approach a lot of women. If you want a girl you can connect with, go do what you love, and while doing it come across a kindred spirit. Then don't screw it up its not easy to find. The third option is to wait for attraction to hit you while you are with someone. Then it's hit-and-miss but can be intense, or just nuts, or both. For this, you need to meet women, be around them, and talk to them socially.

I do. I think it's to different degrees or in different ways. London likes to control money, even more than see entertainment temples to it, which seems to be what casinos are (literal pyramids in some cases). It's more about the power of what controlling money means in London. Out where I am, I think they worship beer or did for many years of my life. It seemed the most sought-after attraction in the decades gone by. There used to be a huge drinking culture in the English countryside. I think some cities rate sport higher than money in terms of importance, seemed that way in Leeds 20 years ago. Ruby, Football, Hockey, the ruby nights were bigger than the football ones, and it was the main topic of conversation sport all day any day. A lot of places in the UK it's about the past, history, and things gone by more than money. There's a lot of local pride in some areas, and that's why people are always talking about how it used to be, what they remember, or what their families remembered.

@Hardkill Genocide is too far when you respond with words and name-calling? You'll have to break that one down for me, probably in a spin-off thread as we'll derail this one. If they were firebombing the white house in a mass protest or causing riots in the streets, sure. That's what we used to call 'too far'. 20, 30 years ago protests would be huge, in an affected population, you'd see violence, you'd certainly see a lot of pressure groups that forced changed or recognition of a problem. There is no bite back to funding and protecting a genocide. Really calling Joe Biden Genocide Joe shows how weak the left is. Your entire 'far left' apart from maybe Antifa are moderates. The majority report with Jamie and Michael used to be further left, now it's still moderate for me. The American government is closer to center-right on the political spectrum.

You can just sit down, do nothing at all, and be declared a criminal. Whether people want to help someone or not, or tackle difficult problems communally or individually, that first line I wrote is insane. What did you do to get in here: I robbed a guy. I shot someone. I sat on a bench for too long. Part of this is the work ethic in America eating itself. Idolization of the Rich. Working every hour on earth. Hatred for being poor, extreme hatred for having no home and not working. I picture Vegas as a giant temple to worship money.

A wise person said to me, Mastery of any craft eventually puts people in a similar place. If you feel you've mastered something, to the point you've reached the beginning of enlightenment. You can either do it again with another skill, or follow that path now. I watched a video on the alchemist story. Maybe you can find it for yourself, there are a confusing amount of similar titles to search through - a good synchronicity for the message of the video: It started with someone seeking enlightenment, and through the video it demonstrated how people get fixated on aspects of life, distracted or perhaps meant to stay in those aspects for a time, and go through them instead. Eventually, years later towards the end of the man's life he realised that what he was seeking was always himself. To bring that you, is to realise in you saying: You are seeking a freer and better life. Well that sounds like you doesn't it? Nothing much freer than existence itself, and 'better', what do you mean by that? What does better really mean to you? Does it mean going back to master something? Or does it mean you want a loving caring partner, or a the ability to sit down and enjoy life? A few friends who enjoy each others company? What is better?

There is plenty of food to get there, but they won't let it in. It's part of the ethnic cleansing to remove them from gaza and resettle it as part of Israel. Which may end in genocide, as many will never leave. There is still a chance to course correct for everyone, but people have that much indifference to human lives in these generations that I don't see it. The usual deaths of hundreds of thousands don't evoke the same reactions it did 20 or 30 years ago, and no one reply that it's the same unless you were alive to witness the difference. - We've gone so far to the right that most reactions are unsympathetic, and there is no left pull to balance it out. Sanction Israel - Force aid in by air or sea - Stop weapon shipments to Israel! Stopping them to Ukraine isn't going to stop this LOL! It'll just create another problem the other side of the world.

I had a great friendship with an autistic person, she was very honest. I am as well, so we got along well. The only problem was that she was quite demanding on my time, and breaks in routine were difficult for her, but it was time well spent. I've been listening to authors talk about not revealing all of a character's intent at once, because nobody does that or is that self-aware of their faults. I sit there thinking, well I don't layer things in my communication. I don't mask what I mean for the sake of timing. I will do things for THEM if I feel it's going to hurt them, or a make situation worse, but I don't need that filter the other way. I had to lie today about a financial situation to stay afloat. I hated it. Every fake BS trick I had to pull out of an old ugly box I never wanted to touch again. Come prepared with some insight. Produce something they weren't expecting to make a good first impression. Sit straight, make eye contact, have a little humor with some light banter about something positive, talk up some strengths, find common ground, talk about them, listen when they raise a point, and if you hear something you know remark on it to bond. It's almost the same robotic monotonous garbage that's taken over the dating world, it's not free communication; it's double filtered (you and them). Even worse if it's from a book, video, or secondhand experience you've had. Then it's: the author + their source + the person reciting it + you, and it becomes unnatural to the person speaking it, or hearing it. Blink three times, click your heels, act this way, bang your head against the wall X times and hey you've got your job, girl, movie formula, whatever flawed communication.

Pushing to get a novel out and I have a heart problem keeping me from sleeping properly to work on it effectively, that and a lot of financial BS that involves me needing to lie and I can't tell you how much I hate lying. There was a moment a few nights ago when I thought that was the last night i'd be here, (I made peace with either outcome) but I won't know how serious it is until the hospital get back to me about a scan.

It takes many. They are the world. - The individualism in this thread, not just you, needs to shift toward groupthink and highlighting examples of how individuals affect a group, but the group makes something out of it. It takes one person to start something or bring a message, or idea, but without others embracing it, grounding it, and making it real you are talking to the wind. If Amazon was in Jeff Bezos's head or on one computer somewhere, it wouldn't be a thing. Instead, Amazon IS millions of people working, and millions/billions of users, its not Jeff Bezos, and the more people get this, the more they can bring about the change they want toward Green. Consider how the second person in your team/group/copying you is more valuable than you are. The second person in the group repeating what you are saying or doing, taking something within your own bias and expanding it. That is what gives it more interest to others. Then the millionth person doing what are you doing is how it changes the world. What does this mean: Guidance for those people you are trying to help, is more important than the initial messages or communication you gave to them. Your guidance is more important than your idea, message or even the problem you were trying to fix in the first place. That's green (with some yellow sprinkled in).