BlueOak

You do exist. You don't exist. What you will find is people telling you both, you will be confused. Because both are true.

Just talking personally. I don't like shutting parts of myself off with someone I want to be with. It feels wrong, it makes things complicated and leads to lying or putting on a mask, and other messy complications. If someone doesn't like part of me, and I am thinking about dating them, I should know that up front as early as possible.

Perhaps yes. I overthink things as well, I did learn as I went through life to let go of all but the most intense situations i've come across. The ones that shaped me or were traumatic to a degree which I still struggle with. Beyond those or people that are in our lives regularly, nothing really matters, other than what we make important. Daily interactions that come up once are not very important and have little bearing on life, for me realising that came with age and experiencing enough of them. Overthinking things and living in your head can be a sign of an unhappy childhood also, or just a way of dealing with what life throws at you learned from when you were younger. Mostly what i've tried to do is shake up your beliefs a bit here with simplified generalisations, just to get you to look at it from other perspectives, even if it only gives you a bit of breathing room or alternative perspectives hopefully it helps. There are as many perspectives as there are people, pick one that helps you, not hurts you.

Flipping this on its head, I once heard it said that if someone was obviously the most beautiful girl in the room they were less comfortable. This might be a shadow or not, lets explore. If you are more attractive and she is getting attention that you think is yours: Why do you need that attention from your teacher? Why do you care if she's hitting on him isn't that between them, on them to sort out? Alternatively do you think flirting with teachers is breaking some form of trust, ethical code or structure, it often is, but its for him and her to work out. That's one thing that won't be your shadow but more of an ethical or moral dilemma that you are witnessing playing out. If she was getting better grades as a result for example, I can completely understand you being annoyed at that. Not everything is inner work, sometimes it really is just a messed up situation you've stumbled into. Bluntly, it all comes down to why you are angry or annoyed at this. If someone is using sexuality to get ahead, and its compromising you in some form, its understandable to have a reaction, otherwise its really none of your business what two people do or don't do. Assuming the age is appropriate and laws are being followed. *Also on the attention point, if he ends up teaching her more than you, I can also understand why that would be unfair and cause resentment among the class.

If you are still drinking, its why getting drunk makes things simpler I suppose. That said, some girls like intellect, and will comment on it. Sometimes because they associate it with a good job, which obviously is not true but *shrug*. Other times because they are much more intelligent than you! So I guess you are dumb to them already, and at least being able to carry a conversation with them on a topic they are interested in helps! Very occassionally intellectual creativity, writing for example, attracts a partner but that is dying off sadly.

Why do you want to be free of other people's opinions. I mean I understand if someone is in your face every day giving you an unwanted opinion, that would get annoying or worse fast. Also if there is something you can't fix or get past, that can be sore to hear. Otherwise you can take or leave whatever you like. This comment or entire conversation for example can be completely discarded, or picked apart to find what's useful or not to you. I'll try something less extreme than hate. Mostly people are completely indifferent to you or me, because they are. There are a few people in your life that will care or hate after you leave the room, but beyond a momentary experience of emotion even those you have an altercation or positive shared experience with will forget about you five minutes after you leave. Everything else is on you. Carried by you, learned from, reflected on, or forgotten by you etc. Can I take a guess at something, did you have overly dramatic parents, school, environment (stressful job) or childhood, where things stuck around for days after the fact. The intensity of those experiences can color how we look at the world. In reality most people are indifferent and will forget about whatever happened moments after its done, despite some of us growing up learning the opposite. The people that carry grudges or take things too far in reality for example tend to stand out, most people just want to get on with their day.

I agree, and I was going to mention this in my post. Even you, someone like me who hates this, were comparing a man being used as a tool for a task to a machine. That is how far as a society we've fallen, and that might sound dramatic but I feel that way. People have been trained to work as machines so much so that we are now having multiple discussions on many platforms on how machines will be replacing man in many industries. That part of this conversation highlights the madness, that almost everyone I see speak on this topic has. So while my observation may sound harsh, I want to thank you for making the point, because that reasoning is in everyone.

1, What I said was, if it were designed as a humanoid, specifically a humanoid mind, it would be more likely, because it would be copying what already exists. Not who or what created it. While your point is an interesting line of thinking it ultimately ends up deadlocked. 1.A) We could say conscious things creating something are more likely to create consciousness rather than random chance. If random chance were capable of creating more life, then we'd find it on more planets or just in more of our own creations. Even with many people specifically working on trying to create AI for example its not happened, so that's far from completely random chance either, even if it contains a lot of unknown variables and unknown questions being answered right now. 1.B) The counter argument is made in the same statement. Many people are trying deliberately to create consciousness and it hasn't happened yet. Also the universe is to our best understanding infinite, so there is a lot of random chance going on, compared to our small effort here on earth, and its already happened once in us. Neither of these points were what I was talking about but its an interesting sidetrack. 2, I can't compare a man working as a driver to a washing machine or toaster. We could discuss everything you've omitted that's present in the man and not present in the toaster, but honestly it would be an absurd premise to start with. Based on our understanding, for consciousness to be present, or in focus, there has to be a certain amount of synaptic activity that is simply not present in a toaster for example. So again I will completely disagree here and leave it at that. 3, When you leave your body there is. That answers it, when you do or become the room etc, you won't have that question anymore. I agree there is no other way I found of answering it, apart from maybe bliss states or the white light reality state but that is more an experiential state. On spirits, only third eye work gives you that, again you can dismiss and we'll disagree about it because you've not had those experiences. I don't claim to be an expert, only that i've experienced it multiple times so for me its a confirmed fact of my life.

It always made me grin when people told me a computer will take over the planet or become self aware. Well yes its if its programmed too, but the toaster or washing machine isn't going to want to suddenly invade, its for making toast or cleaning your clothes. Machines made as humanoid however have the possibility to be humanoid if they are built exactly as we are, biological computers for example, with many of the flaws we ourselves have in us and a consciousness which is alien to this environment. Or was alien. Do you ever wonder if the reason people are being treated more as robots by industry now is all the process of this happening before our eyes, its all connected and arriving at that point on a macro scale. I feel consciousness expresses itself in whatever is actively being created at that time because creation is the key for consciousness to be realised. It is another reason why the attempts to make humanoid robots is flawed thinking, they should be more like an R2D2 droid out of star wars, easy to maintain, hard to damage, good over many different surfaces, storage space, and with many tools accessible. A device, vehicle or tool for man not a replacement.

If you are an intellectual or just live in your head a lot. Question it enough. Its ties. Where it comes from. Who is really asking the question. Is that belief real. Does what I feel about this actually exist or is it in my head. If you can keep stepping back and asking who is asking that or where is that belief founded. You'll peel back layers of belief and non truth and clean the ego. I managed to completely remove my ego once and then I walked off a metaphorical cliff, life's hard without the ego. I wouldn't let go a part of myself again, its there for a reason, but you can always work on it and improve it like anything.

Pinterest had a few ineresting examples Fibonacci Art https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=fibonacci art&rs=typed&term_meta[]=fibonacci|typed&term_meta[]=art|typed Mixed Systems on Paintings https://www.pinterest.com/pin/560979697338794899/ Fibonacci Artwork https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=fibonacci artwork&rs=typed&term_meta[]=fibonacci|typed&term_meta[]=artwork|typed

Everyone hates you. Yep, there are some things you do that everybody hates and there always is going to be. Might help to know that from the off, its less of a surprise or reaction then when its shown. Its natural to want people to like you or to start off at least neutral with someone to give them the benefit of the doubt when you first meet. After that well relationships have such a complexity to them that you have to expect a wide range of reactions. You can't control what those reactions are, and you can't change everything about yourself to make every interaction a nice one either. As a personal note. Living in a state of pure self love is tough in a judgemental environment. Most interactions are based in judgement, but you can find people that you have more positive interactions with if you look, if you seek them out and then when you find them, don't let those relationships go to waste they are precious.

Every relationship ends up stale after you've helped her through something or have counselled her. So kudos for realising this now. Maybe you can take the edge off by volunteer counselling, be a shame to waste a skill you've developed, unless that skill has become an addiction which its hard to say no to in everyday life.

Stop masturbating, you are probably desensitized depending how you do it. A vagina is rarely a overly tight grip or a single surface for example. It will happen naturally, there is usually some adjustment when you first start having sex, you can feel bruising for example if you have sex a few times in a row. Like any muscle things change and adapt. Good thing you found someone who didn't think it was them, which can happen, that's a good sign.

All this talk about manners and personality is useless. That was half your other threads first post. It made it very difficult to get through to the point. Now we have. I don't like this person, and i'm going to tell you why. I don't like how you do things MR X, and you're going to know it before i'm done. That makes me feel good. Just stop wasting your time on drama and living in reaction to everything, its utterly useless to you and everyone around you. Because now all we are doing is discussing the drama, its like a ball of threads or posts sucking in energy to no purpose. If you can't get past he said she said, or personalities, or ways people say things, then you need to go out and be frustrated with personalities some more until they no longer matter. This can take a lifetime. Method largely doesn't matter either. Its only results that matter, or become material in life.

My gut says do a heavy Detox on whatever you are comfortable with, or maybe the spine isn't straight and some yoga will help. Failing that there is a massive section on http://www.biologyofkundalini.com/ called the Physiology of Kundalini which may offer some answers. Its certainly more detailed than I could ever offer. My kundalini experiences were partial, chest to head and a few full bodied ones but they felt like minor ripples. Sometimes there is a pain as things realign both in our lives and our bodies, for me at least around the jawline which I later realised had been locked in place since I was a kid after a fall, I just need constant attention to relaxing the neck/head.

Semi contact martial arts are exceptionally good at remaining disciplined but showing no fear, as weekly you train physical contact and the difference in how you carry yourself is incredible. This question about violence won't be there, there will be no want, there will just be I can defend myself it doesn't bother me. You'll want to walk away, you'll want to get as far away from trouble as quickly as possible and not out of fear but out of it being the best defense. When you can hurt someone you don't want to in any form, you train to only do what's needed, and most often that's to walk away safely. I once asked a spiritual community what martial arts was most spiritual and they responded ninja, as that has an element of spiritual practice inherent in it. I used to like shotokan karate when it was semi contact, because it was defensive, all the way to blackbelt you learned defensive techniques, then learned offense when you were ready for it. Yet shotokan was also natural contact, now its padded so for me it doesn't offer the same experience but I imagine it still helps a lot. Only your hands, wrists, arms and legs won't be hardened.

I should also add of course you can preempt situations or problems when you realise why certain emotions are occuring in yourself, by adjusting expectations, or responses ahead of time. Then when a situation comes up about you, your partner or your relationship, you'll know if its true, because you know yourself inside and out. It makes for a solid foundation for anything, self identity, career, and your partnership professional or personal.

The more you know about what makes people and you tick, the less reactive you are. The more active or just neutral you can be if you choose. You can even help situations if you are feeling like it, useful especially toward your own relationships. You can benefit if you choose not just in personal relationships but professional relationships. Hate is a strong initial aversion that has to be maintained or come up again and again. I hate this person he's always doing this, I hate this thing every week I am doing this. It gives us space, direction, limited relief and breathing room. It doesn't tell us why, often if its constant it doesn't solve the issue. So while hate has a place as a buffer or to help us get out of an uncomfortable situation, that's why its natural, its miserable longterm. Its uncomfortable to stay there hating something or someone, for you and them, not understanding why. If you question why you hate something and come up with more definition, you can address that, the understanding helps you act rather than be in reaction. Example: Resentment, I resent that we do the same job and I get paid less than you, I want to talk to my boss about why I am worth the same. I resent that I am being asked to work every weekend, I feel that is unfair and so I can address it. In regards to understanding yourself and people its the same. Example. I am frustrated that every night I come home, I never know where you are, once in a while it'd be nice to have a night planned together. Understanding where you and your partner are coming from, what is driving it, is crucial in relating to people and developing your life and your life together. Understanding makes life easier. I hate that person. Is not helpful beyond just cutting ties and moving away. Example: I find the way that person brags all day and puts others down makes me angry, you could look at why or how to handle it. You could speak to them, or you could realise they are probably very insecure and that's how they keep their life together, giving yourself less emotional charge towards them. You could look at why them bragging triggers you, what about it inside you bothers you? Then you'll no longer be reacting but acting. This is the benefit of Emotional Intelligence. Something that isn't taught in schools and is a missing part of many people's lives.

Its just as likely to send someone in the opposite direction, and for them to be overzealous in defending people in the same situation for example, or calling for stricter laws on certain topics to protect victims. There are many people who go on to become councilors or therapists because they understand the people they are working with innately, they experienced it first hand and can more easily relate. This isn't always helpful either, because its an imbalance to be overzealous in something, but sometimes it really is helpful because it helps equal out the opposite side of society who are dismissive or ambivalent. So in its own way, collectively it is balanced if you can step back and look at it. It also helps show the extremes of an issue. As to a hurt mind. I would say no one alive hasn't been hurt at some point in their life.

This is a good question. I hate lying. Yeah if its survival. If it was that or not eating, i'd lie, i'd cheat to keep living. Manipulation is common when we feel threatened or unsafe. I feel the justice system doesn't take that into account enough. Beyond survival, beyond the very basics no. We weaken ourselves when we lie. The truer I am, and the more clearly people see me for who I am, the less surprises there are, the more grounded I am, people take you at your word, life just works better and is easier. Truth is strength. Manipulation, deceit, theft it just makes things harder.

Sexuality is only a part of a relationship and not needed for the great majority of them in life. Friends, Family, Coworkers etc. I would look less at sexuality and more at relationships, how you relate to people, for your answers. Specifically for intimate relationships. What do you want out of them? What do you want to offer your partner in them? How do you live together, as a partnership, and what does that mean? Let me try a different approach to this. Hate is normal. It happens in day to day life. Its an emotion, it comes up. Its not healthy to stay in it, because that takes work and energy to maintain hating someone. What you describe as hate you might also mean frustration, or anger, disappointment, or resentment. I see hate used a lot in the modern day to cover many other emotions. It takes time thinking about these things, and feeling them to better develop emotional intelligence to define what the feeling is. Emotions are not bad, its what we do with them and what they mean to us, the choices we make that are important. Intolerance and Tolerance are both flawed and the same thing. Let me explain, tolerance is not love, friendship or even neutrality, its I can bear this, I can tolerate it. Its putting yourself in a position of having to put up with something or someone as a burden. Intolerance is almost the same but you are just acting on the emotion you are suppressing. Neither are meeting people where they are, or for who they are, or accepting them. Do you see what I mean? If you were completely neutral toward someone for example, you wouldn't be tolerating them, there would be no emotion or suppressed feeling there to tolerate. Those feelings are coming from you. Ask yourself why, and then address that. It could be that person you are tolerating needs cutting from your life, and there plenty of people I feel that way about. Alternatively it could be your own issue projected onto them. Its not quick or easy work to go through this kind of emotional inquiry but its very rewarding for personal growth, it puts you in charge of yourself and gives you an understanding of why you and others act the way they do. So good luck and all the best.

More generally and this is where Leo and I disagree on the nature of reality. The fact the more successful someone becomes in life, the harder it is to help others, is a huge fundamental flaw in society. Also why part of it needs to be restructured. Success isn't always adding value collectively, so its making life worse when it isn't. A zealous or rigid capitalist will argue you can't grow a business without adding value, but is that really true, do you believe that? It could just be you are undercutting someone, using cheap materials that are going to last 1 year instead of two, overselling, manipulating markets, using cheap labor or making people work harder than they can sustain, which causes its own issues for example. I mean we are at the stage now robots are being considered instead of people, because people have been forced to act like robots to keep growth sustained, which if you could step back and look at it objectively, is madness. The value of someone can't just be how much profit they can process in a certain amount of time. - I think this is the blessing of AI, as it will force people to see that. On the other side, i've heard it said if you can't give 1 pound out of ten, you won't give a ten thousand out of a hundred, but its precisely what is needed as you grow. So however poor you are now, give that single pound or dollar out of ten, and you can understand a bit of what someone with more money gives. Yes its a lot, and its always going to be a lot of what you have to a total stranger. I have sympathy that its especially hard when it means you eat less, as opposed to get a second house but its a good litmus test of whether you can walk the walk as was mentioned.

@Hulia Over my lifetime I have seen a change somewhat in how people are regarding those leaving their own country for more money, when their own country needs them. If its purely a financial gain, more people will call them out for not helping back home. So there has been a change toward more self responsibility, but of course its not just financial for a lot of people, its safety, or comfort, ideology etc. I will say with less certainty, we still like to blame others for our own problems, especially when we can't or haven't been able to fix them, but even that is on decline.

Also I should add even those memories we have, we develop more understanding of them as we age. So all the connections between cause effect, or events, emotions, that we form change, deepen, or are broken in some cases. So even if somehow you were able to consciously recall everything you've ever experienced, from not only your immediate perspective but the many details you will have missed, understanding about what that event meant to your life will be forever changing and thus remembered differently. This is because life is based on connections, relations between one thing and another, especially in regards to your mind.