Asayake

Nice to have you back man. You seem to be on a good path with the retreat and your other upcoming plans. I'm also working through repressed emotions right now. I think most people these days have repressed emotions resulting in stress, anxiety, depression and physical ailments. I agree with you about intergenerational trauma. I think it's more common than not, and the more sensitive the child is, the more traumatic 'normal' disciplining and upbringing can be. I became aware of this in July when I was triggered to tears by my parents during my visit there, despite having a normal upbringing my relationship with my parents is complex. My mother is a very stressed person in general and my dad is emotionally unavailable. In other words they both likely carry intergenerational trauma that's manifested itself in different ways and it's been passed on to me unconsciously. I've been doing yoga regularly the past months and it has brought up emotions and memories of events which were traumatic to me when I was a child. I now know the root cause of many of my problems and just knowing that has been a big relief. Although I'm still in the middle of the healing process, I now believe growth is possible as long as I keep up my Yoga practice, keep accepting and letting go of the past and getting in touch with my repressed emotions. There is a power there waiting to be unleashed. Good luck with all your endeavours!

When I googled it said ACV has some potassium yet other sources also that it decreases potassium levels, weird. I'm not doing keto. It might be true that it increases my T3, I did get a lot of energy to the point of almost overworking myself when I was taking it. I was dilluting 1tbsp in half a glass of water and taking 3 times per day, 2 before my main meals and 1 before bedtime. Sadly the dose before bedtime seemed to be the one that really helped my heartburn. I would notice it because I would have no heartburn when trying to sleep as well as I wouldn't have a bad taste in my mouth when waking up. But when I only took ACV earlier in the day, I still got heartburn at bedtime. However, my heartburn seems to have be slightly better after doing ACV for a few days eventhough I'm not currently doing it. So I may try another round next week and see if just taking it earlier in the day still has a net benefit on my heartburn in the long run. Another interesting thing is my muscle twitching issue, that has been improved but is still remaining. I tried magnesium for 2 days but had a very strong reaction to it. However, I think ACV as well as Electrolyte powder I tried as a remedy might have been making my twitching worse. But I'm not sure about that yet, I will make a longer status update about that in the relevant thread tomorrow.

Apple cider vinegar seems to help me a lot with my heart burn. But it makes me feel like I'm on some sort of stimulant and makes it very hard to sleep. Any idea what could be causing that? I used to intermittent fast a lot because I didn't eat breakfast and I've never been fat but I've never been that muscular either. I think I've been eating low calories for a big part of my life. But in recent years I've developed an annoying heart burn that seems to be worse when I do it because then I end up being hungrier at the later part of the day, resulting in big meals close to bed time, which seems to be a recipe for heartburn for me.

Yeah, Gabor Maté's definition of trauma is different than the conventional one. I'm going by his definition, which is that trauma is not necessarily that the child was abused sexually or physically or some other extreme form of abuse, although those are experiences that most certainly would cause trauma too by his definition. But rather his definition of trauma is that there is some aspect of the childs need that weren't met, which leads to surpression of certain emotions, which leads to high stress levels, anxiety and depression. By his definition, trauma could look like for example being told to go to your room when you're not behaving as your parents want you to, being told not to be so emotional and be more rational/be a man when you're showing sadness. Being ridiculed by others for not being brave enough, being yelled at for acting out/not behaving. Being told not to be so lazy. Basically being told you can't be the way you are/express yourself the way you are expressing yourself. Being made to feel shame over expressing your emotions, Being made to feel that your parents love is not unconditional, but on the condition of good behaviour. A child that is screaming at dinner because he's angry does so as a natural way to cope with the anger he's feeling, expressing the anger by screaming is a natural way for a child to express and process the emotion of anger. In today's society if a child is screaming or not behaving most parents will discipline them, tell them that's wrong to do. Not by punishing the child physically anymore(for the most part), but by being shamed in various ways, for example by being told what they're doing is wrong, being told to sit still and be quiet, being told to go to their room. This makes the kid feel that they're doing something wrong when in fact they're simply authentically expressing their anger. Boys today are being told over and over to sit down and behave in the classroom. And at home as well, the parents don't want their kid to be the one that doesn't behave at school and be forced to deal with the shame of being 'that parent' that can't discipline their child. Many children today don't get the unconditional love that they need, they feel like they have to behave in a certain way and jump through hoops to make their parents love them. The parents will keep shaming their children for behaviour that doesn't satisfy them, even when the children are adults. This summer I had an emotional breakdown because my parents were dictating so much what I could/couldn't do when I was visiting their place and it made me feel like I had to behave in a certain way in order to please them, I couldn't just relax and be myself. Stress is what happens when we lose touch with our authentic self, so to speak. We can't just relax and be the way we are, instead we have been programmed to jump through hoops and do things in ways that we feel are not in line with who we really are, our emotions are surpressed and stress is the bodys way to try and let out some steam. Today this is considered normal, sadly. The trauma is passed on in generations according to Maté, a stressed out parent is stressed out mainly because of under the circumstances they were raised, and they will pass on some of those circumstances to their child without realizing it. The child will be able to tell that their parent is stressed and will learn the parents stress coping mechanisms as a way to cope with their own surpressed emotions. Parents who are shaming their children for expressing their emotions likely have some surpressed emotions themselves. And they too have been taught it's not ok to show those emotions. Depressed & anxious parents have higher likelyhood of having depressed and anxious children, stressed parents have a higher likelyhood of having stressed, anxious/neurotic children. It's a cycle that goes on and on until someone breaks it.

Lookup Gabor Maté on YouTube, he has a theory about how addiction is rooted in coping with stress and other feelings and how stress, anxiety, depression etc is rooted in repressed feelings/trauma. According to Maté trauma is not what happens to us but what happens inside of us as a reaction of an event. A seemingly not traumatic experience can cause trauma, especially to a child. We don't even remember all trauma we have because some of it is stored only in our nervous system memory, from when we were toddlers and unable to form memories. Stress/anxiety is a natural reaction to uncertainty. Maté says that when we are kids, optimally we need the following: A non stressed, unconditionally loving and emotionally available parent that is always there for us. If the parent fails to meet one of these criteria Maté means that it is not an optimal environment for a kid to grow up in. A kid growing up with a stressed parent(e.g. poor and stressed about making ends meet) the parent will pass on this stress to the child and the child will be have an increase likelihood of learning problematic coping behaviours for dealing with the stress. If a parent gets angry at the kid for showing negative emotions like anger, fear or sadness(the parent might tell the kid to go to their room because they got angry as a punishment, or tell the kid to man up and stop being a wimp for being scared). The kid will end up repressing these emotions and they will manifest later in life as stress, anxiety, depression. For which addiction is yet again a common coping mechanism. The way to deal with this seems to be to get in touch with your repressed emotions. Maybe you're like me and are Mr Nice Guy for example. I've been too nice to people, surpressing my anger which has resulted in poor boundaries, letting people run over me and undermining my masculine side. Working on getting back in touch with that has been fruitful for me lately, learning to be better at saying no and standing my ground. What you have to work on might be different depending on where your addiction is rooted. To find the cause of the addiction and anxiety/depression you can for example start doing yoga regulations to help get in touch with your inner self and start becoming your own guide. With time emotions might come up, or memories of some event that was traumatic to you as a child. Then you can start processing that by acknowledging and accepting it as a part of your past and then it will help you release stress & emotions and pass on eventually. This process can help you get more in touch with yourself and empower you to take the next step, which is quitting smoking. That's going to release even more stress that you're using the smoking to surpress but with the yoga and dealing with stuff that's already been brought up you'll be more prepared to deal with it, the withdrawal won't last forever but there'll be a healing process. On the other side of pain is growth.

Hadn't heard of Aaron, I will check him out! I find Gabor's work very insightful, grounded, practically useful, wise and still tangible for the layman. Really love his work!

You're in for a treat . I am still thinking about this book from time to time, it has proven unexpectedly relevant for what I'm going through right now.

Thought I'd put up a quick book review here. I wish there were spoiler tags on the forums because there are some specific things in the book I'd like to share my thoughts about but I can't do so without risking spoiling the book for people who haven't read it. This book was, in my opinion, amazing. It was a very sad and beautiful read. I was tearing up on multiple occasions while reading it. There's one part in particular that I can't mention without spoiling that was incredibly beautiful and made me burst out crying. I had to cry for a few minutes before I could go on and finish the book. It is incredibly creative and dynamic. It touches on subjects like philosophy, spirituality, religion, science, poetry, relationships and trauma. It's just an incredible book that makes you reflect on a lot of things. On top of this this book really gets you in touch with your emotions and empathy, invites you to reflect on your own life in many ways. The book is about Charlie Gordon, a mentally retarded guy who works at a bakery. Gordon undergoes a new science experiment in an attempt to make him into an intelligent human being. The rest you'll have to find out for yourself. I discovered the book by seeing user @peanutspathtotruth and others talking about the book in another thread somwhere here on the forums. Thank you for shining light on this book, because of you I've had the luck to get to read this book, and for me it was a very beautiful, emotional, reflective and therapeutic reading experience. 5/5 - I highly recommend it, if you're ready to shed a tear.

Hey, I've seen them live 6-7 years ago

Love love love Frank Sinatra. My way, For once in my life, Witchcraft, Nice 'n' Easy, If you go away, Somethin' Stupid Are my favorites.

To me Nofap seems to have some validity to it in the same way that a fast has some validity. It can give discipline benefits for people struggling to abstain from masturbation/who masturbate often as a cope. I've tried it and it does seem to have some sort of alteration/impact on state of conciousness. Perhaps it's because of testosterone, dopamine or maybe it's abstaining from porn that gives most of the positive mental effect. In either case when I've tried it for a few days to a few weeks, it does seem to increase my productivity, sense of self control and energy levels somewhat. However, I think masturbation can also have some self bonding properties that can be benefical too, it can be a way to relax and show yourself some love, it's a way to experience something beautiful with yourself. But it can become a problem when it becomes an obsessive coping mechanism to get rid of boredom or other tough feelings too often. Then it becomes an escape from facing yourself. And porn can be problematic in the sense that there's a lot of unethical porn out there exploiting poor women and taking advantage of that for short term pleasure, who knows what the subconcious implications of that is. I think porn can also contribute to objectifying thoughts about women and have a negative impact on society as a whole. I think watching porn everyday certainly is not healthy and yet a lot of men do this. Porn & masturbation also serves as a substitute for contact with women for many incels which is another way it can be abused in an unhealthy way. Some psycho people like Ted Bundy have said porn was what pushed them over the edge, and while it's not a big problem for everyone I think there are many signs hinting about potential dangers with porn for some people. This is just my two notes from my own experiences with masturbation & abstaining from it. I think masturbation is good, but too much of it or doing it as an escapism of some sort can be bad. I think porn is the biggest problem though. Nofap can be a useful experience but you got to watch out so you don't take it on as an ideology. Because then you might be downloading other ideas that you didn't sign up for to begin with.

Working out This forum Music Biting my nails Chocolate

I began taking an electrolyte powder with potassium/magnesium/calcium/sodium today. Hopefully it helps! I'll be back in the thread later with an update

He means goat as in Greatest of All Time

Interesting.

From my past few months researching MBTI it seems to me Te is also about productivty, time efficiency, systematic thinking, productivity hacks like task managment systems, post it note to-do lists etc, as well as using external feedback and brainstorming to come up with ideas and make better progress. an ESTJ for example seems to have a tendency to rush things, sometimes too quickly. Because they want to get things done fast, they're not likely to eat slowly or dwell on what they should do for long periods of time unlike someone with high Fi like an INFP can do. I get that Te and Fi are on an axis and valuing Te highly means devaluing Fi. Because Fi is more about carefully considering each decision, taking things at ones own pace and making sure what's done feels like the right thing to do to oneself. Someone like an ESTJ will want to make things happen, they want to see progress and are very productive, but they risk not being true to themselves or chasing some goal that is not really worth it for them in the end because they're not valuing their Fi as highly(is what they're chasing after with their Te really worth it in the end). While an INFP on the other hand might get stuck in a rut more easily because they can forget they also need to make things happen and make progress or their life will decay. But an INFP doesn't necessarily always like the feeling of progress because progress can create some turbulence in life, They can instead prefer the feeling of things being rather stagnant for awhile until they know what they want to do because then they can feel like they're in control/can predict the future. Can anyone here explain why Te seems to be so closely tied to the things I stated in this post? Productivity, time efficiency etc..? It's interesting to me that Te seems to be such a broad function. Also I think the 8th(demon) function is actually pretty strong for all types. So I'm curious as to how Ti plays into the self deception of an INFP. Who uses Ti more to self decept, an INTP, ENTP, INFP or ENFP? Given that an ENFP seems to have pretty weak Ti, and INTP very strong and an ENTP and INFP strong Ti?

I'm getting 100% RDI of magnesium bur I will try supplementing it. Any idea of which form to take? I see there are many different kinds. Does it happen to you everytime/did it go away at some point? I just googled high potassium foods and picked a few of the ones that popped up and tried eating more of them. As far as electrolyte dosing, do you have any recommendations of good ones? Should I take potassium/magnesium separately or is there some good electrolyte blend/drink/pill that has it all?

Thanks, I will try a 3X/week whole body compound movement only style program like the one you posted and see if things improves! I'm going to check the channel out as well, looks like useful information.

I've been working out since february but it was mostly getting technique down, I was not pushing it or making a lot of progress. It's just recently that I'm feeling confident in e.g. the deadlift and adding on some weight. I also came back recently from a 2 month break because first I injured my hand and then I suffered chest pains that were from heartburn but it freaked me out so I didnt excercise for a while. So I lost some significant gains. Maybe it's the fact that my body is not used to it and I'm pushing it too hard. I will reduce my workload and see if things improve. Atm I'm doing a push pull legs split and working out 5-6 times per week + 2 days running and yoga in the mornings. Maybe I'm just overdoing it lmao.. Maybe I should swap to full body and do it 2 times per week or something til my body adapts. A weird things though is I'm not getting much DOMS/soreness. It's just the spasming & twitching. And occasional fatigue.. weird.

Excactly this

Sing together with me now.. clap your hands! it wasn't the nails that held him to the cross, it was love

Mostly Skype with irl friends. But used MSN a lot for chatting with online friends ..