Asayake

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Everything posted by Asayake

  1. It's interesting how there are so many good looking explanations/seemingly solid solutions to so called problems that seem so fool proof/are so convincing that they become entirely entrancing to us. Leading humans down God knows how many different paths and rabbitholes in the name of trying to solve our countless problems, or achieving whatever it is we think we want. Yet when a problem is solved a new one pops up and when we got what we desired we suddenly desire something else It's as if the problem was there temporarily as an illusion just to lead us, guide us along whichever path we were supposed to go down at the time, disappearing when it's no longer needed. Without the problem we don't know the way forward and so the problem is not really a problem at all, it's an appearance just as any other, just posing as a problem for us so we can get to experience life getting better through the path of solving problems. I can't help trying to solve problems or coming up with explanations for appearances because it's too beautiful the way it ends up unfolding. Me first thinking an appearance is a problem, feeling anxious about it or coming up with a rationalizaton for why it's a problem that needs to be solved, researching and going through the possible reasons for the problem and its potential solutions in my mind like I'm a detective tracking down the Zodiac killer. It engages me in the play of life and fills me up with energy, figuring out the puzzle feels meaningful, because it was designed that way.
  2. Why do you have naughty videos in your recommended
  3. 1 in the basket and 3 left to go I'm feeling pretty good, I also just changed up my diet bigtime though so I'm haivng some compounding effects I think. Right now I feel like I have more energy, I feel more grounded and a bit more confident.
  4. It's ok to be scared, it's a big change. But this is the only way you can start your next phase of life and grow into a more independent and developed person. Don't let the feeling of being scared control your behaviour too much, walk into the fire. I can relate in some way. I moved from home when I was 22 and I was very spoiled by my mom so I struggled a lot in the beginning. Not only did I enjoy the freedom too much and clean too little at first, but quite quickly I went from having done no drugs to becoming the stereotypical 24/7 stoner who's apartment is a complete mess with snacks and dirty clothes decorating the floor. I also had to learn a lot of things that I didn't do much while I lived with my parents like cooking and chores around the house was exhausting in the beginning and I was quite sloppy with my nutrition and sleep schedule and caused myself unnecessary suffering by decaying my health. But on the other side of pain is growth, I'm 26 now and now I find chores mostly relaxing and I enjoy the feeling of self respect that arises knowing I'm taking care of myself. It is likely going to be a bit turbulent and stressful at first. But you'll shed your skin and grow into a stronger more beautiful person with more depth. I didn't know how to put up curtains or how to put up a shelf on the wall or how to use a drill machine or a stud finder and I had never even put up a lightbulb. Thank God for Google or learning the handyman stuff would have been like inventing fire for the first time. My advice to you would be to put up a painting or a few posters or a plant or something decorative early on when you move in. It will give your place something that you become familiar with and will it make your place feel like home quicker. When your place finally feels like home it makes it easier to relax and feel safe, and then you can start connecting with yourself more easily on a deep level when you're alone. I always put up a painting on the wall as one of the first things I do when I move to a new place(I'm living at my 5th place right now). You can do it!
  5. What got you into music? What kind of music do you listen to? Do you listen to a lot of music? Is piano your first instrument or have you played some other instrument before? What does your practice look like? If you only focus on technical stuff like voicings, finger positioning, chord names, scales etc. you might get bored, especially if you're a beginner.
  6. I'm now trying out Durianriders diet advice for a couple of weeks just to see how it feels/works for me. I think it can be an interesting experiment to get a better understanding of the effect of carbs/sugar. I think I might have underestimated the impact of carbohydrates on energy and health before. Yesterday was day 1 and it went surprisingly well. For breakfast I had 3 bananas, 1 orange, 1 cantaloupe melon, some strawberries and about 8 tablespoons of sugar on top. For lunch I ate a black rice salad and for dinner a big bowl of white rice. My energy levels were stable and good, I went for a run, went to meet up with an old friend and watched a movie with another friend in the evening. I struggled a bit to fall asleep as I've usually been doing lately, but my muscle spasms were noticeably less and I had almost no heartburn for the first time in many days, and my ingestion seems to be improving too. I think I might be suffering from low stomach acid and the faster digestion time of super low fat & protein meals are easier to digest. My dad and sister also has big problems with heartburn, my dad has been on Omeprazol for many years and he's gotten my sister on it as well, they both have many health issues. I'm praying for this to work well for me so perhaps it could help them too. Perhaps I've been suffering from a combination of low stomach acid, high cortisol, and some food sensitivities, is my current hypothesis. Today, day 2 I ate the same breakfast as day 1. Fruits with sugar on top. I feel really good, a bit tired/sleepy/very relaxed today though. I'm thinking right now that maybe I had high cortisol levels before and the sugar is really helping to lower those levels. I think consistent exercise might be a must on the Durianrider diet because if you just eat tons of carbs without moving, maybe the cortisol levels get too low. And it's the combination of excercise and big carb intake that creates a balance. So I'm probably going for a run or walk today again. My potentially high cortisol levels could have been the cause of my muscles twitching and stressed out body. It could also have been a trigger for my heartburn and indigestion because I did notice before that I could really calm the heartburn down going deep with meditation. I'm likely going to start a journal to track this wild diet experiment.
  7. I thought this roast pretty funny, anyways... I don't know if any of you are familiar with Durianrider, he's a vegan cyclist that I used to follow back when I was a vegan. His diet consists of very high carb(fruit, rice, sugar, veggies, occasional beans/avocado but for the most part extremly high carb and low protein/fats). He's a controversal character in the fitness community because he claims sugar is not bad but that it's fat eaten with sugar that causes insulin resistance and makes sugar bad. He's of the opinion that diets low in carbohydrates deplete serotonin & dopamine and that people eating too many fats or shying away from sugars/carbs is the main cause of poor health, both physical and mental and that for example drug addiction can be solved with increased carb/reduced fat intake, as drugs are a replacement for the dopamine & serotonine he claims sugar would otherwise provide. He seems to think complex carbs are overrated, although he seems to think they are healthy he believe it's just better to eat something that contains more sugar. His main point is eat sugar & carbs, they're brain fuel. Don't eat fats, they lower the bodys capacity of utilizing sugar healthily. He was overweight and addicted to drugs when he was younger but now he is undeniably one of the most fit vegan people on Youtube and one of the few of the OG vegan Youtubers to be still vegan and healthy. Those of us who were involved in the vegan Youtube community a few years ago might remember Youtubers such as Jon Venus, Tim Shieff or Vegan Gains. Many of the vegan Youtubers didn't make their vegan diets work in the end and either quit veganism entirely like Jon Venus or declined mentally like Vegan Gains. It's quite funny to me that the guy with the seemingly most stupid diet(fruits with sugar on top, corn syrup, white rice) is the seemingly longest standing vegan on the platform and still preforming well athletically despite being 45 years old. I never tried Durianriders diet advice, and I did fail my vegan diet. I've been struggling lately with heartburn, indigestion, muscle twitching and just stress in the body for no apparent reason, I'm not stressed mentally, but my body is telling me something is wrong and it's sending me down rabbitholes of researching health. And since most of my issues seem to be related to my digestion I'm thinking about trying Durianriders diet advice for a couple of weeks to see how it feels. What are your thoughts on his diet advice, would it be wise to try it out despite the fact that it goes against all of the mainstream diet advice I've found?
  8. Wtf! You're a hero. I've never seen anyone use this on here before.
  9. I masturbate 1-2 times per week but haven't abstained from it for a month or more for a good while. Anyways, what's your point? Is it not a beautiful thing that people try to better themselves, even if they fail?
  10. What's so extreme about not masturbating for a month?
  11. I was vegan for almost 5 years but I never experimented with a raw vegan diet. Durianrider doesn't recommend a raw vegan diet, he thinks it's too hard to get enough calories completely raw without eating too much fats. Ultimately the vegan diet didn't work for me before, but I was more focused on high protein whole plant based foods and not so focused on high carb high calorie low fat intake. I dropped a lot of weight when I was a vegan. This is pretty relateable for me right now. That's me. But not on a vegan diet just on a conventionally healthy diet. But I'm definitely getting a bit stressed out by unusual physical symptoms like twitching, I don't have any tiredness though. But I do have some problems sleeping. I think maybe I have too much cortisol from excercising and I'm not able to regulate it without a lot of carbs, that's why Durianrider caught my attention a bit in a video where he talked about how sufficient sugar/carbs will plummet cortisol levels. Yeah, I've toned down my training and it helps a bit. I went to the gym today for the first time in a week. I started out with 2 whole body workouts per week before but that still stressed me out a bit too much, Day A/Day B type split with only a few compound movements like the one you recommended in that thread. That's what I'm planning on doing right now because it seemed to stress my body out a bit less than what I was previously doing. But it still doesn't feel like I'm 100% like I was a few months before. Right now I'm eating 1-2 meals per day. When I ate more meals than this my heartburn would become worse. I tried to manage my heartburn with Apple Cider Vinegar for a while and it did get rid off the heartburn but my body still didn't feel quite right, like I was having some sort of indigestion for hours after every meal instead of the heartburn. I eat stuff like Potatoes, Salmon, Kale, Quinoa, Spinach, Chicken Breast, Eggs, Tomatoes, Romaine Lettuce, Sardines, Pumpkin Seeds, Walnuts, Olive Oil, Whole wheat Pasta, Bananas, Kiwi fruits. This is my diet I swapped to after getting the symptoms, and this in combination with less rigorous excercise does seem to have helped the twitching a bit. But my acid reflux started getting worse so I had to reduce my meal frequency to 1-2 meals per day. So right now I'm basically intermittent fasting and eating nutrient dense foods.. Before the symptoms started occuring I was eating more plain stuff like Chicken Breast, White Rice, Green Beans and Spaghetti Bolognese with white pasta. And I was snacking quite a bit in between my meals with whey protein shakes, fruit and nuts. In hindsight I think how I ate before was a bit nutrient deficient and not varied enough. Now I think I'm eating quite well nutrient wise but it's not quite working well yet. Maybe I just need to give my body more time to adapt like Osaid's point about the body being able to adapt.
  12. It isn't excactly the mainstream diet because the mainstream diet is refined carbs with fats/oil and protein. According to Durianrider the high fat content in the mainstream diet is the problem, not the refined carbs. He says refined carbs digests quickly, lowers cortisol(which helps recovery and reduces stress in the body), increases dopamine and serotonine and supplies the body with energy for an active lifestyle. He doesn't cook anything in oil, he simply eats extremly high carb(literally fruits & sugar for breakfast, rice & veggies for lunch, fruit/sweet potatoes for dinner style meals) and is very avoidant of high fat foods in general. He thinks intermittent fasting is a cope to deal with the fact that high fat meals are taxing for the body to digest. He thinks there's no need to give the body time to digest/rest with something like a fast if you eat his style of high carb diet because according to him it's easy enough on the body to digest that the body can recover properly at the same time. He thinks people using caffeine for preworkouts etc. is a cope for adrenal fatigue that stems from having high cortisol levels from training that then isn't regulated properly because of too low carb intake. His advice is to use high cortisol to push oneself during training and then to eat a lot of sugar/carbs afterwards to plummet the cortisol levels and put the body into a relaxed state. His advice is to eat more sugar and practically no fat/protein foods. Yeah, a trial and error process is what I've been going through these past weeks. I used to think Durianrider was just stupid but when you're struggling with health issues and you tried the conventional stuff you become more open minded to try new ideas. I've also ate a lot of simple carbs in my life but never without intake of protein and fats. When I was a vegan I used to cook everything in oil, I used to eat lentils, beans, chickpeas, tofu and other high protein plant based foods. I never tried relying heavily on refined carbs and excluding oils etc entirely. But recently I've been eating less carbs and had a bigger focus on protein, I don't know if this was the cause of my health issues but my health issues have definitely gotten worse eating this way. Jon Venus quit the vegan diet, then he came back and recently he quit it again claiming that it caused him joint pain, indigestion, cramps and other health issues as well as causing his son poor dental health. It was a while since I watched Vegan Gains now but last time I watched him he said his mental health was worse than ever, super depressed and he was going on some new antidepressant to see if it would help. He is still a vegan though. That's what I thought too, but according to Durianrider he doesn't eat protein or fats at all. He consumes no oils, no animal foods, eats avocados but not on a regular basis. It really seems like he is mostly eating fruits, refined carbs, sugar, glucose syrup and some occassional avocados and nuts when he is dropping too low in bodyweight. His carb/protein/fat ratio is likely 90/10/10 if not even more carbs than that. But despite the fact he is ripped and has amazing cardio. Sure, he's not a bodybuilder by any means, but he's physically very fit for his age. He ran a 2:38 marathon on his weird all carb diet and he's not really a runner but a cyclist. I realize his diet might not be the best for bodybuilding though, I'm reading Arnold Schwarzenegger autobiography atm and he recommends a lot of eggs, milk and meat.
  13. Mother, you had me But I never had you I, I wanted you You didn't want me So, I I just got to tell you Goodbye Goodbye Father, you left me But I never left you I needed you You didn't need me So, I I just got to tell you, mm Goodbye Goodbye Children, don't do What I have done I couldn't walk And I tried to run So, I I just got to tell you Goodbye Goodbye Mama don't go Daddy come home Mama don't go Daddy come home Mama don't go Daddy come home Mama don't go Daddy come home
  14. I'm in on NNN, don't see why not.
  15. Nice, I really liked this one. I like the moody melody & dark mood/chord progression. Made me think of this one Another one I love
  16. Eraserhead Mulholland Drive Blue Velvet Wild At Heart The Sixth Sense Sweeney Todd Edward Scissorhands
  17. This guys channel is good, many good videos. He was addicted to nicotine and weed and now works with helping people quit addiction.
  18. While not a complete solution to your problem, this video has helped me in times of dealing with a lot of stress. Doing this when you feel you need to release tension that is building up is great.
  19. Yeah that sucks if you liked those. I was never that into the live titles myself so I didn't care much for them being gone. But there were several other features where I had to mess around in the registry editor and do a couple of workaround to keep sane for sure..
  20. There are a bunch of settings that they changed in Windows 11 from the default windows style layout. For example this: But also a few more things like this that you'll need to fix/follow tutorials on if you want more of the classic windows layout & menus and not have your Windows 11 look like an Apple device. As you can see in the video he also has his taskbar icons in the center bottom of the screen. That's another thing where it comes like that by default where as previous Windows versions would have the taskbar icons to the left. There are more of these things you'll have to change if you want it to navigate more like a classic Windows computer. I can't recall them all because it was a few months since I got Windows 11 now. But most things are changeable so whenever u run into something where ur like wtf is this u can usually just youtube or google how to revert that to a more default Windows variation.
  21. Sounds like he's socially maladapted and mentally disturbed. Not that this lessens the scariness of the situation for you. But if you view the creep as a mentally ill person who can't control himself rather than someone who is in control and wants to harm you maybe it can help you come to terms with the encounter and feel a bit better. I have recently dealt with a narcicist who has exploited me before and one of the things that helped me become emotionally resilient to his manipulative attacks was to realize that he's hurting deep inside and this is a coping mechanism he has picked up unconsciously to try and deal with the pain, he's really lost in life, his behaviour is outside of his control and he really didn't mean you no harm, he just knows no other way because his mind is disturbed, he is sick. The same goes for the guy you encountered, he is sick and needs psychiatric care. And while it's really uncomfortable and scary to be on the recieving end of a sexual harassment like you were, it's a bit like getting in some sort of an accident, it's just very unfortunate that it happened, not much you can do about an accident. But it can still definitely get your mind running on fight or flight mode and you can get a lot of thoughts about what could have happened or what can happen in the future, it can trigger stress and panic in the mind and body. That's a natural reaction to getting into an uncertain and potentially dangerous situation. I suggest you take care of your mind and body the following days. Make yourself cozy, give yourself time to relax and do yoga or some other stress relief activity. Light a candle, listen to some music. Give yourself some time to return to a relaxed state of being.
  22. I am, but you gotta do some modifications to make it bearable.
  23. My first time playing Minecraft was such a cozy experience. I remember it was raining outside irl as well as in the game and I felt warm inside when I was finally safe in my shelter on survival mode. Such a cozy game!