decentralized

I know. This is my current challenge in life. I’ve put so much meaning to that story that it’s still hard to distinguish imagination from actuality. However I know I will be able to get over it. Taking time off from psychedelics definitely helps in this situation, they made my obsession worse. There’s also an existential part of my situation. It might sound funny to you, but I’m quite solipsistic and I believe I created everything - including the love and connection I feel for him - in order to not feel alone. I believe that’s the only reason that God is imagining anything and everything, to forget that she’s the only conscious being in existence.

Same thing happened to me. I had sex with a man on ketamine and I thought our souls merged. Turns out he has an avoidant attachment style. I got interested in astrology and went heavy on ketamine & kundalini yoga to read his mind. At some point I stopped taking ketamine and smoking weed however I still had a psychotic breakdown. I thought I was telepathically communicating with him during that time. Even though I haven’t touched psychedelics since almost 2 years, I’m still kind of obsessed with him and I’m still thinking that there’s some past life karmic connection with him. A part of my mind is telling me to stop trying to explain this with the new agey. This stuff hurts very badly.

I take this as a yes

Does solipsism mean there’s only one observer which is me? Meaning that only I have “eyes”?

Does reincarnation exist?

Is soul real? How is it different from the life force within us? Is it possible to experience it? Where does it go when the body dies? Does it reincarnate?

Hello everyone. Last year I had a partial Kundalini awakening which developed into a spiritual psychosis. I spent almost 2 months in a psychiatric hospital and experienced insanity with some paranormal phenomena. After taking some antipsychotic medication for months things have settled down and I don’t feel much kundalini symptoms besides some shaking (kriyas) and spontaneous mudras which occur everyday. I believe my previous ketamine use and my psychotic break damaged my receptors and even though I don’t feel depressed I feel directionless in life and experience anhedonia. My sex drive and creativity is very low, I don’t feel like doing anything, I spend my days laying in bed scrolling social media. I don’t even watch YouTube videos because I lost interest very quickly. The only thing I enjoy is talking to people but I should be spending my days more productive. I have an upcoming exam for a course which will be a turning point in my career journey but because of the said reasons I can’t find the will to study for it. I need to find a way to rebuild my damaged receptors after this psychotic breakdown before it gets too late. Thanks in advance for your help.

What I mean is you, God, is everything/nothing (those two are the same thing) and everything is God’s dream. We are its finite parts and the sum of those finite parts is infinity. The thing I’ve said about God imagining itself is a paradox, just like this drawing from M. C. Escher.

Sure. You’re God and you’re imagining yourself.

Thoughts are illusions just like anything else.

How do you know?

@Sugarcoat 🙏🏻 Does anyone else have an idea on how to deal with this?

Can you check your DM?

@Sugarcoat what’s your experience with psychosis?

Interesting. So how do you break the cycle or karmic thoughts?

How can you get this sober? I've had a kundalini awakening (or just prana activation, I stopped caring) and I have spontaneous mudras on my hands everyday. It feels like a gentle electricity is running through my arm and fingertips. You made me kinda scared of the energy. To be on topic, I had experienced the technology glitching for a bunch of times when I'm on acid. Phones and computers behaving and glitching in unexpected ways different from how they do in my sober life. Also one time on ketamine I realized I'm god and I'm the only being in the entire universe. I'm infinitely alone and there's nothing but me. Everything, including myself, is my own imagination. I'm nothing and everything. My ego freaked out on the loneliness part, it was not nice to realize that I was imagining my loved ones. That was profound, I wish it was a full awakening though, it wasn't full because I haven't discovered Love yet.

God is everything and it’s imagining itself. That’s my take on it.

@Kokorec I’m also interested in this. Following.

A little backstory - Last year I had a partial kundalini awakening and shit hit the fan quickly. I got blacked out and hospitalized for 2 months. I changed cities and right now I’m not working or going to school, I have no hobbies, no friends, no money, even though I’m 26 years old I feel like I don’t have any good skills to earn myself some money. I am biased though. I have some Kundalini symptoms. Kundalini gives me a bunch of spontaneous mudras everyday and it “talks to me” through my mouth - I have some unhealed traumas from past relationships and when I ask “it” questions about it it crosses my eyes to the tip of my nose and gives me an answer light-fast. I am not controlling this. It has been telling me that I am going to die in the same way of crossing my eyes and giving me mudras, the point is my life is seemingly so out of control I am not going to have a happy life in this lifetime so when I die I am going to reincarnate and by this way there will be better conditions for my awakening. I know kundalini is not something separate from me. Some people told me this was my own escapism, or Kundalini is actually telling me about my ego death, I don’t know but I actually know that all the answers are within me. Until I figure it out, I want to focus on improving my skills, get a job and get some friends. What do you think about this?

@Davino would you like to share how you experienced it? It’s hard to forget isn’t it 😄

From Bursa, Turkey 👋 Send me a message if you also reside in TR

@Xonas Pitfall I understood what this video meant very well. You are everything and you are going to experience everything, realizing this with a partially dissolved ego drove me insane though.

@Breakingthewall thank you for your comment. It definitely felt like a real trip. As Leo said, insanity is a domain of consciousness and it’s worth to explore. That darkness is also a part of Everything, which is you. It was quite interesting to experience that Love can reach the very depths of darkest consciousness. It changed my understanding of Oneness forever. Maybe you can explore it yourself by setting an intention of realizing this part of you, but your ego will do anything to protect you… until it falls apart and dissolves as a part of insanity. This shit can get very scary…

@_Archangel_ thanks for the advice. I’ll do the work to get my life in order

@Javfly33 thank you 👍💪