Random witch

Sometime you fall into the trap of compering yourself to other people, You think about what's wrong in you and in your life instead of what's good and what's work. You see all those successful, social, beautiful, happy people around you, you see all those high social standards and you feel so low compered to them, so looser. Your life seems so pity, so lame compered to others. "Why can't I be like him/her?" "Why my life is so hard and lame?" We all fall to those traps automatically. Those traps lead us to negative emotions that sabotage our passion to life, our joy, authenticity, growth, love for ourselves and others, it's like a cancer. We live in a very competitive alienated society and it's very easy to feel that what we are is not good enough and what our life is not as good as it should be. This is why it's so important to practice gratitude, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Just in order to remind to yourself about the things that work in your life, that are good, that you value and grateful for. It's a mystical practice which brings you more positivity to your life, makes you emotionally stronger, increases your general life satisfaction, brings you to the present, to the now. connects you to your body and to your life, it's a meditation, you feel more connected to the source when you practice gratitude, your emotional level improves, you starts to feel the abundance of life, you start to feel like God's favorite child. Just say "I'm grateful for..." or write it in your journal at the end of your day. you'll notice how your mood improves. It's so simple and healthy. You can be grateful for anything you find positive in your life. Examples: I'm grateful for my existence, someone made efforts to brings me to this world I'm grateful for the tasty food I ate today I'm grateful for the shower I took today, it brought me so many good ideas I'm grateful for being strong and healthy, life is much more easier that way I'm grateful for the freedom of will and thought I'm grateful for my curiosity, life seems so interesting for me I'm grateful for all the things I've learned today I'm grateful for having a place to sleep, in safety I'm grateful for morning's coffee, It was so good! I'm grateful for my pets, they bring me so much happiness I'm grateful for the book that I discovered today, It might help me to open my mind a bit more I'm grateful for my healthy hair, it means that I know how to take care of myself I'm grateful for the nice dream I had today, it felt so real and it brought me so many positive emotions I'm grateful for living at this cool era and not at some dark age I'm grateful for the walk I took today, it felt so refreshing I'm grateful for..... I'm grateful for..... I'm grateful for.....

Lol, and what do you say next?

You sold it so well for me, now, where do I register?

No, I haven't tried it yet. I want to someday but I don't hurry. Have you?

It depends on my condition and how desperate I'm for money. If I have no money, and I struggle with finding a job for a while, I would prefer to work for Facebook instead of being broke with no money. Me, working for Facebook... poor Facebook, I won't be a nice employee for them, I might sabotage them from the inside, I'd be super non loyal. But if I have less corrupted work choices or I have enough money to survive for a while, no...

I don't know why, but I feel bad about eating animals either, so I don't do that. I don't like the idea that because of my demand for meat, someone die and suffer. Even if it's just a cow, for me personally it's not just a cow, I hate when people say: "It's just an animal, so what", you all also just animals, actually, there's too many of you BTW, let's kill you and eat you then, idiots.

I say that I don't know much about it. I really don't know much about it.

THIS. @zazen You see, you can explain sexuality whatever you want, there's multiple ways to explain things, eventually, everyone stick to what suits his ego. I'm sure that for you men, believing that woman want you for all her life after doing sex with you is very nice to your ego, but it's only a sweet nice believe and self deception. The question is what are you interested in? In not so ego flattering and complicated truth or in this simple generalizing sweet cute truth? Also, today's survival for women is much easier than in the past. We have the ability to earn money and have money, property, we don't have to be dependent on someone in order to survive. We can easily avoid pregnancy with effective contraception it's much easier to survive in this society compared to the past. In the past there were lack of effective contraception so when you do sex chances are you get pregnant and if you get pregnant you want to stick to the man who made you pregnant, why? because other man wouldn't take care of a child that isn't his. Women had no property or power so they couldn't survive without men, at those times, better to stick to one man who can provide your survival needs and compromise on his defects and have a lot of children rather than striving for death alone (Or striving alone with different children from different men to death). But now? We can survive without man, it's not a matter of life or death anymore, things changed and because it's much easier for us to survive some of us would enjoy of their sexuality for the sake of sexuality. Relationship with men aren't crucial for our survival anymore. Some women would tell you that it's even a burden on them to be in a relationship with a man because relationship requires work, time, patience, compromises. Also, I tried to think about it through the lenses of the spiral dynamics. Women who are at stage blue have different perspective than women at stage green. Woman at solid stage blue are more likely to stick to the first man they sleep with and they might take sex much more seriously than a woman at solid orange or green. Women at stage orange take sex less seriously than women at stage blue and they see this as a tool for negotiation with men to meet their materialistic and egoic needs. They aren't completely enjoy their sexuality yet and are use it as a currency in order to gain more status, power, etc. They are more likely to chase men who considered attractive strong and alpha and less feminine. They are more likely to manipulate men they're considering weak. Women at stage green are more curious about exploring their sexuality genuinely. They are less obsessed with relationship definitions and materialistic interests, they care about the present and don't that bother themselves about the future. They appreciate the spiritual connection of the two. They appreciate feminine characteristics in men more than women at the stage orange because they aware to the masculine characteristics within themselves. I think women at stage orange are more in deny about it which creates a masculine shadow. I don't know much about women at stage yellow at spiral dynamics but I guess they are the more loner, intellectual and independent version of women at stage green.

Same. thank you!

Hey @Preety_India I'm sorry for commenting, but.... I just want to say that I like your interest in those aspects of psychology and I'd love to read more of your researches which I find so dope ♥

They cause suffer for themselves when they're think in that way and putting all their self esteem on something that they can't change and women don't much care about.

Our society constructed in order to create order. It constructed in a way that serves the current situation. Also, our sexuality is constructed in a way that serves the current situation. People at the hunters gatherers era had different sexuall dynamics, we aren't sure about what their sexual life was like because there's no evidence but there are many assumptions which one of them was that everyone fucks everyone basically. in the beginning of the era of the agricultural revolution women's sexual repression served this goal. Men knew that their children are their children and their property goes to their biological children after their death. The fact that women sexually repressed, and this repression served the current situation, says nothing about women sexuality separately from this cultural construction.

You know what? When I was younger and I hooked up with a guy because he seemed cute and attractive in my eyes. When I saw his dick for the first time he felt awkward because he believed that he's dick small. I didn't give damn about it and I didn't knew that it's considered small. Later I discovered that he watches porn and he compares his dick size to the porn actors. Dick is dick and once woman is vet penetration is fun and pasturable, more few centimeters or less few centimeters, it doesn't matter. We have clitoris don't forget, when I see a man I don't think about what he has in his pants but I observe his fingers and wonder what he can do with those?

I don't know if it's true for all women in all their life stages, but there's a common assumption that every woman who sleep's with a man get attached and needy as a lost puppy because this is how her body works or something, that's bullshit, sorry, but it's not true for all women. Don't forget how women are socialize, to hide and ignore their sexual needs, being afraid of being seen as "slut", too many partners for women it's a shame in our society and better for her to stick to one in order to save her reputation (If she cares about it). Yes, emotional attachments does exist but it's not the reality of 100% of women after they're doing sex. It also depends on many factors like the age of the women, how confident she is etc. If she's insecure she would be more easily attached to any guy she sleeps with, out of neediness. Insecure guys have the same behavior with women.

Yeah

It's hard to compare between the horniness of men and women but I can tell as a woman that women are not that holly non sexsual creatures who only care about love and romance. And yes defiantly I can sleep with a man without developing deep emotions and expecting from him to be my future husband for 30 years. And many times I think about doing sex for the sake of doing sex and I don't think or care about what's next. We have days in the month before our periods when we are extremely horny but we won't talk about it that much. There's a lot of misunderstanding and myths in society about women's sexuality and people perceive those as the ultimate truth about women sexuality, which makes me feel so gaslighted. And about horniness in general in order to conclude: Yeas. women think about sex a lot, we can get vet a lot during the day, we just don't much open about it.

You're welcome. If it's a win-win situation it can't be ethically wrong, there's nothing wrong with approaching women and take it further if she's interested. The problem people have with pick-up is that it's often associated with seeing women as objects that you can manipulate as you want, not being honest enough, trying to manipulate women to do things she's not interested in, treating a woman poorly because she's interested in sex or because she slept with you, using sex as a way to make yourself feel "ALPHA" and brag about it, raising your social status among your peers at the expense of the women you slept with, gossip about the women that you hooked up with etc.

When I'm walking on the street as a lonely horny girl who craves intimacy and a man approaches me and I find the man cute somehow and he is flattering to my ego in some way I defiantly in

A bit of acting skills, I allow myself to be an actress, to play a tiny role when it's necessary and I even enjoy it because every time I do this I try to push it further and further and see how far I can go with my acting skills. Like a real actress in Broadway, oh yeah! I observed extroverts and people who are good in small talks for years, I studied them without intending to do so and then copied them. We all have the capacity to copy other people, we ALWAYS to this without intention, once you aware to this ability in you you can play any role, discover your full self and enjoy of other aspects of yourself. It doesn't mean that I'm extrovert now and I do small talk all day and night, definitely no, it still draining, and I'm still a hardcore introvert, But, When I do have to engage in small talk l know what to do, I don't get lost and nervous and even enjoy it!

I don't know, it depends on woman's stage in life and what she's looking for, on the man who's approaching her, how he is approaching her and how his approach makes her feel.

Women do objectifying men to some degree but it's a bit different from men objectifying women. I think that most healthy, mature women won't сhase hot guy knowing he is dumb and immature. Maybe they might sleep with him for fun if he is not neglecting himself, they feel safe enough around him, are horny, and the man is flattering their ego and insisting, but in general he would be a blind zone. But some women might chase this type and be paralyzed by his physical appearance if they are too young, insecure, dumb, not experienced with men, immature, came from unhealthy family and have poor understanding in people.

Good tread! very inspiring

Needy people have the ability to turn kind and empathetic people into brutal narcissists. We all have narcissistic tendencies inside us to some degree and those are activated when people are too pleasing, too needy and sticky to us.

I think most healthy, mature women are attracted to quiet charisma in men, empathy, humor, responsibility and maturity. I would add that I'm attracted to creativity in men and open-mindedness, I can't stand be around not-creative, conformists, closed minded men, especially those who have sheep mentality and do everything in order to impress their immature friends. The age doesn't matter as long as the man is mature enough and (subjectively) physically attractive, immature men are bad for women's libido no matter what their look is. I see young men who are much more mature than old men, so old age doesn't necessarily a prove of maturity and all those theories of "All young men are immature" or "Women are always attracted to older men just because they're older" aren't accurate. Women are attracted to maturity because you can trust on a mature person. You can count on him. About look- Men don't have to be pretty in order to be considered attractive, of course tall and handsome men are attractive but they can easily be unattractive if they are stupid, immature, sexist, conformist, insecure and awful people in general. Those kind of men usually full of themselves and are attracted shallow, unhealthy and immature women. There are men who are not considered handsome by the society but they are so wise, open minded, authentic and brave that this light just shines from them inside out and makes them look so beautiful and attractive. I see the same affect in women.

Don't speak from your intellectual self, pretend as if you are unintellectual, like logic doesn't exist in the world at all, it really helps. I always was bad with small talks, but I found out that it's not very hard or complicated, it's just saying simple things, very simplistic things and questions with a lot of smiles and laughs and clichés