Judy2

okay i will, in a few days:) i still need to get clear on some of them before that.

okay that makes sense. i guess it's confusing for me because i can be too extreme in both directions. but really the quality of the relaxation/what i do to relax is the bigger issue. most of the time, it's either too boring or too stressful.

i feel stupid for needing to ask such basic questions.

this is a bit embarrassing and such a weird thing to ask. it's also so basic. at the same time, it's such a huge issue in my life? and i wish i could find ways to relax that are truly energising. apparently, i just don't have this skill yet, but it would make a huge difference if i could acquire it. to find purposeful, meaningful ways to relax. to wind down WHILE still doing something that feels precious and energising...(is that a contradiction? i'm not sure.) i feel so weird for needing to ask how this works in the first place. it seems like it should be so obvious, but maybe it's not.

Love is definitely on the list:) but it could actually be split even further, because there's love as in respect and kindness/ intimate connection ...

yes, the question was if it counts as a value. it's true that i still need to work on the precise definition, though. thank you.

the YouTube algorithm is really mean. for a few days now, it's been flushing all these clips from "me before you" my way. i think this is about the saddest movie ever. lately, i've had a lot of time to think about goodbyes, endings, and death. maybe i've grown at least a little bit wiser though, because my capacity to hold all these emotions within myself without tearing completely apart has increased a tiny bit. i've also found out that goodbyes get worse and only feel like they lack romance and splendour when you're trying to reenact all the past interactions that you feel are connected to wherever or whoever you're saying goodbye to. the past moments - the summer walks and the conversations - are past already, and there's no use cramping them all into the goodbye moments. memory itself is enough, and things are lighter if the goodbye is not too packed with heaviness. when the past is already the past anyway, but we can fleetingly look back and see it with a sense of sadness and loving appreciation. the past is the past already, it has been for years....so if anything, goodbyes are a lovely occasion to look back and see Love. ...and a bit of sadness and melancholy, still. which is sometimes tearing me apart, almost unbearably.... almost. which, i suppose, is exactly as it must be, to strike this chord of existential bitter-sweetness.

i wouldn't dismiss the concept of therapy after trying just one therapist....but it sounds like you intuit this already:) sometimes it just takes some trial and error. depends a lot on the therapist's unique personality and style, how the two of you vibe, and also the therapist's specific school (cbt, dbt, ifs, etc.). the length of the therapy depends a lot on your diagnosis as well as your own willingness to proactively tackle the challenges you seek support with.

i mean i might be wrong....really not sure. i'll just leave it here though, in case it's any good.

i feel as though the erratic posting pattern indicates you might want to seek professional help, after all:) even if you're experiencing awakening. there's no shame in that. if you're God and everyone's You, let God help you🙏🏻 just to help you calm down a bit, stabilise, and clear up your mind. when i had my first awakening, it was very real, but also deeply confusing. sometimes awakening and mental overload go hand in hand, and it's wise to recognise this and give yourself some space to cool down. wish you all the best and take care♡

does something along the lines of emotional mastery/awareness count as a value? as in, being in touch with my emotions and letting them guide me? and being relaxed and grounded while i let myself experience emotions fully? if not, is there another value this could be a part of?

i notice that i am still struggling a lot with the values assessment section in the life purpose course. don't really know what's getting in the way...probably the good old perfectionism, or a general sense of insecurity. i wish someone could tell me the answers, or that i could compare my results to some kind of answer key.

i haven't mentioned this yet, but during my 3-month break from the forum, my grandmother died. she'd been in a coma for over 15 years already, so aside from a hint of sadness, i mostly felt relief that she'd finally made it. i don't know what keeps a person stuck in limbo for so long, but it must have been something significant holding her back, and i'm proud, if anything, that she finally managed to let go. death is also renewal and rebirth - direly needed for someone who's been stuck in a vegetative state for so long, since the time i was still in primary school. my age has more than doubled since she got sick. it's good that she finally had the strength to move on, to whatever comes next for her. i'm sharing this now because i randomly remembered that a few months ago, i had had a dream about her suddenly waking up, and how i'm trying to come to see her. it must have been a few weeks before her death. i guess her waking up has always been a subconscious dream of mine, after all these years. don't know why....i guess it would have been cool. a bit of a miracle, perhaps. it would have made me feel safe, for some reason.

i think Freud and all the people trying to make sense of him deserve a place in Leo's part two on deconstructing rationality, cause this is really pushing the limits of reason.

for example some scholar's reading of Butler's reading of Lacan's reading of Freud said that.

@Husseinisdoingfine i think it's an unlikely scenario that they would become completely open-minded overnight though.

@Schizophonia ah ok. then the interpretation of the interpretation of the interpretation said that.

@Schizophonia idk. this part is interesting to me personally, because i know that Freud's theory basically equates mental illness with the feminine and mental health with the masculine. having been affected strongly by mental illness, i do wonder if this is really true and if there are ways for the feminine to be feminine and still mentally healthy. i hope so, and i hope that Freud missed something when theorising the feminine as inherently mad, hysterical, and pathological. i guess women can be that and we are probably naturally predisposed to experiencing more negative affect. but that's not all of what we are. i hope there are ways to be sensitive and emotional, yet resilient and grounded at the same time.

relatively good mood this morning. packed all my things and i'm headed back home to my own place. before leaving to catch my train, i started decluttering my parents' attic. they have very weird hoarding tendencies, which is probably one of the reasons they need me lol. they just can't get a hang of their own stuff. it's still in the "normal" territory, i'd say, but borders on being pathological. my parents' materialism is suffocating. they complain about their clutter, yet insist on amassing nonsensical material gifts; board games and books and everything.

@Joshe okay, that's very helpful.

got it:)

yes that makes sense. thank you, Leo. for everything:)

@UnbornTao but i thought the idea is also that many of my current values are potentially inauthentic or toxic? like safety, comfort, and wanting to be liked/approved of? and if my child was on the line, for example, i'd gladly give up my personal safety and comfort....so do i have to think through all sorts of moral dilemmas to rank the values and get clear on my priorities? but i guess it can't hurt to think about this: there are probably still many authentic values that are already a part of my life, i just need to be more conscious when i spend time on them/when they "move" me. 😇 thank you

would you like to go?