Consept

So youre saying just feel the feeling and try not to focus on the perspective?

Can you expand on this a little please, i think i understand what you mean but just want to clarify

How would i listen and not pay attention to her nagging at the same time? Will try this, thanks again for your insight x

Thanks, that is a great insight and very self aware. Its funny because when we have truthful conversations, maybe after an argument or something, she says that she likes how i am and doesnt want me to change but at the same time it annoys her in the moment. So it seems like it is an automatic response and i think youre right in that she isnt always in her feminine, i would put this down to family issues. How did you and possibly your mum, become aware and get passed these issues, if you dont mind me asking?

This is good advice and part of the problem I'm having, because I don't want to accept traditional rules of a relationship and I want to, not only be who I am but obviously grow, its difficult for her to fully accept it, although she does try. It's kinda crazy how tied people are to the idea of what a relationship is or means

Yeah for real lol. Thing is it's a fine line, how I dealt with that is I told her that I'm not gonna put up with stuff like that and that essentially if you are gonna act like that I can't be around you, she got upset and kinda explained why she is like that. Now it did cross my mind to not react at all, but if I didn't maybe it would be like condoning it or making her think it's alright or I'm submissive. This was obviously a huge over reaction on her part and to be fair she hasn't had as extreme a reaction since then and this was a while ago now. But I'm kinda stuck between calling out the behavior or not giving any fucks as you say

Thanks so much for your insight, especially valuable as you relate to her. With point 1, its interesting you should say that because she has specifically said a few times that she likes the way i argue, in that i make my points well and without injecting hurt emotions and that kind of thing, so essentially she cant really argue back as im trying to solve the problem rather than hurt them or whatever, this has been the case with past relationships as well. I have read that book and a few others on the subject so ive probably taken a lot of that into the relationships. The reason i get annoyed by the nagging is not even necessarily the nagging itself, its just i know if she keeps doing it i wont be able to be around her. Although sometimes i do feel like i want validation from her, i am aware of that though and try not to fall in that trap. Point 2 she went to therapy with her ex-partner and i think this type of thing came up although not specifically what you said, i would say she would benefit from going, ive recently gone, i did about 6 months or so. Problem is i dont think she sees her issues as a massive problem as shes very focused on work, so im not sure that would appeal. But when i have brought up these issues she is very receptive, so shes not in denial or anything like that, its more that she literally doesnt know how to control them. What happened in your relationship and is it something that youve overcome or at least made progress with?

I wish I was joking about that, wasn't even a big hole lol. Thanks for the sheet though I'll check it out

It seems important though, because getting taxed compared getting your tax back at the end year are definitely 2 different things. You could make the argument that they shouldnt do it that way but thats a different argument. Also it would make more sense to me to pay a living wage rather than not tax, the problem isnt that the tax is too much its more that non-skilled jobs are paid so low

She can be although im not really a push over, hence the clashes. She has clashed with other as well, im generally more laid back. Shes from Latin America (Colombia) which is predominately blue and yes its like she looks out for things that are not perfect, its funny cos its almost like she never enjoys the perfection because shes always worrying about the next thing she has to do. Im always trying to get her to be in the moment. Ill look into the sedona method, ive heard about it but dont know much about it. This is true, sometimes i do feel like i need validation, its something i really need to work on. I know how to show i dont need it but internally sometimes it claws at me, i have improved but its a process. The socks thing i was more annoyed that she would be so angry about something i didnt think was important in the slightest. We had a discussion after that and thats when she told me about her mums high standard etc, so i can understand that culture and why she may be like that, but it still does trigger me when its in full force. Yeah she is tbf, but i think if i was to stay long term it would still be a problem, sometimes i think maybe its a good test for me to stay in presence, because when i am things are a lot easier and she can be really cool to hang out with, obviously focusing on the negatives here. We are definitely on different levels, but then it is tricky finding someone i can truly relate to. Yes definitely true, i think that is how she works in general though she tends to be a bit of a worrier and focuses on the avoiding fearful things so i guess this would extend to me lol. But also i do tend to focus on it, usually if im not feeling good and i cant just laugh it off, or she does it multiple times in quick succession. One of the best times i had with her was actually in lockdown because she felt completely free, didnt have to worry about work, had loads of time etc. I take your points though, i know its me focusing on it that makes it seem worse, so i have to work on that and open myself up, even if we stop speaking or whatever its still something i would want to bring into different relationships.

Thanks for your response x. Im definitely not perfect, im under no illusion about that, but none of us are and i think we're always works in progress. I feel a lot of compassion for her because a lot of these behaviors are automatic, through her very blue upbringing and now (i would say) shes in orange, shes very hardworking and achievement orientated, which is a positive for her, its just when she puts that on other people, mainly me, i think it causes problems. I, as you say to do, try and bring out the best in her which she recognises but i think she feels frustration in that she cant do the same for me, she wants to hence the nagging but the method is not great, she knows and she says in this respect she wants to be more like me (probably the only aspect of me she wants to be like lol). I have told her many times how it makes me feel etc and i feel like the intention is there to not do it so much, but at this point it just seems so hard wired in her, and she is probably even harsher on herself, which is why ive been encouraging her with meditation etc.

I'm not an expert on US tax but in the UK we get a personal tax allowance of upto £12500 where you don't pay any tax if you earn under that amount. I think the US have something similar. I know there are deductions for certain things, so I don't think it's as simple as just they take 23%. Your overall point that Amazon and other companies should pay more tax is definitely true, but they need to adjust the system and not allow tax loopholes. Problem is companies will do anything within legality to avoid paying tax, so if they can get away with it in any country they'll go to that country, so it becomes a balancing act for governments if they want to keep big businesses.

Its a similar structure but obviously living conditions, human rights (at least in the west) have vastly improved. Also if you are entrepreneurial you have the opportunity to start your own business and exploit others. If youre smart you can get a higher paying job as well, so long as youre providing a lot of value to your employer. But regardless its still a vertical structure where those at the top make money from the work of those at the bottom, whats clever about today is that most people will have hope that if they work hard enough theyll be higher up the food chain one day. There are some that say in the days of peasants they were actually happier because they didnt have the false belief that anyone can be at the same level of the rich, so they embraced their identity as peasants and had a disdain for the rich people. In modern day the notion that anyone can 'make it' means that wherever you are its your doing, even if you work as hard as possible if only you worked harder youd be better off. This culture is more prevalent in the States, which is why the have the worst benefits (least holiday, maternity etc). A true evolution would be a more flat structure where the workers would have more say and have a share in the company, it would be a move toward socialism, until then we havent really evolved too much from the past.

I agree with you somewhat here. Another example is that in relationships men that abuse women usually do so predominantly physically, obviously because on average men are stronger than women so they use that to their advantage. But women can and do abuse men mentally and emotionally as they, on average have a higher EQ. So in both cases there is a potential power differential its just that a more rounded, empathetic person wont use that to take advantage but of course some do. The difference i believe is that domestic abuse is seen to be a male dominated thing and the idea of it is through physical dominance but according to the stats its much more closer, something like 40% of domestic abuse is by women. Because its seen to be male dominated you get things like much less refuges or help for men and also women can, if they are taking advantage of the man, use that to blame the man and its quite easy for them to be believed as is the case with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. To me the domestic abuse problem isnt necessarily a gender issue its more people will use whatever tools they have if they want to manipulate and dominate someone.

But is it a good way to measure whether someone is better than another? like for example Floyd Mayweather might lose to an average heavyweight but does that make the heavyweight a better boxer?

Would be great but a mess for trump, look at the recent interviews with axiom and fox, imagine 4 hours of that. He works well with an audience where he's not pushed to hard on things

His point is that comparing men and women based on gender is arbitrary and you might as well use whatever metric.

What is God for you?

No im 35 and thinking about studying something, i dont think its ever too late honestly

Well what I mean is that youtube is so wide and varied but each channel is almost like a forum in of itself. For example if I went to a pro trump channel on YouTube and criticised him, I would be insulted and could get blocked from that channel. So there isn't absolute freedom of speech on YouTube. You can post most things yourself on your channel but you're not free to just say what you want on other channels as that's up to whoever owns the channel. So I would ask again, and it's a very important question because you maybe asking for something that is not really possible. Can you give me any examples of a forum where you can say whatever you want without being at risk of being kicked out or at least dismissed?

Specifically a forum though, as a video sharing site is so wide in scope its not really the same thing

Can you point to any examples of a completely free speech forum, that follows the criteria you've set out?

To further extend your analogy its like if someone goes on a bodybuilding forum and is really pro-cardio and thinks that those that disagree are pushing a body building narrative. Then if they are banned or no one agrees with them, they complain that alternative viewpoints are not allowed on this body building forum

What would be an acceptable way to you, to criticise Trump?

So do you think it should be completely free here where anyone can discuss anything?