Consept

But this is the equivalent of going off and living in a cave, which is fair enough if that's what you're looking to do but probably not for everyone. Is there something you're looking to get out of it ie enlightenment?

I agree with this, a relationship, especially one where you spend a lot of time together can take a lot of effort and take a lot out of you mentally, if youre worried about your finances at the same time its a recipe for disaster. So get that sorted and then if you want a relationship go for it, but be careful as a lot of relationships can stunt your growth, ideally you grow together but its not always the case as youre taking on someone with their own issues, so choose wisely

You attitude in terms of not caring about the girls coming up to you is kinda good and it will work to a point, but as soon as a girl feels rejected its over from that point, so you have to balance it, get lost in the music etc but i you see a girl you like come over then definitely talk to her but still keep the attitude of shes detachment, so you want to be fully engaged with her but detached at the same time, which basically means youre enjoying spending time with her but you could leave at any second. Also it seems as though youre looking for a 'girlfriend' but i dont think you should necessarily go into anything with that mindset. Clubs traditionally are not the best place to find that but they can be a way to build up your confidence and make you more comfortable striking up conversations with girls. Ive found that its always better to transition from a friend with benefits situation to girlfriend, rather than just girlfriend off the bat or even friend and then girlfriend. So if you really like a girl in a club no harm in seeing her again and just see where it goes, theres no real set rules. You may find dating apps a bit easier as you dont have to deal with all the club stuff and at least youll get one on one time with her

Its funny i had the exact same thing with football as we call it in the UK, i loved playing it but i noticed after my ego would grow so big if i had played well or really get me down if id played well, recreationally or official games. I also got injured so that shutdown that avenue of ego, although at its best it offered me a way to get into a flow state so its a shame i cant play anymore. Aside from that I used to have an ego drive to get really wealthy, a business I started doing well, not crazy but at least something so i didnt have to 9 to 5 it. From that i saw that increase in wealth makes 0% difference to how you feel internally, you have less to worry about but as Sadhguru says your problems really start when you get what you want. One ive kindve been dealing with recently is being a player or getting what i want from a relationship, i think its obviously cool to get what you want from a relationship but when you think youre so great for doing it and almost like youre winning its probably a problem. Finally there is an ego drive to be free of any mental issues and/enlightened, what i mean by this is i feel like i need to have a completely clear, fully functioning mind so i can be the 'best' me at all times, i get down when i cant be this way all the time. Also when i do have a clear mind ego eventually gets attached and claims credit for how great 'i' am. This ego thing is really complexed lol

Just broke up recently as well and i kind of got an insight while we were dating and that is that this whole a relationship is all we need to be happy is bullshit man. I kind of knew this before but recently its really hit me, the importance is built up by media, rom coms, society etc to make you feel like its so important and that its the solution to all your troubles but honestly its not in anyway and can cause a lot of problems in fact. Thats not to say that you cant have good relationships because you definitely can but only when you realise that theyre not the be all and end all, in other words being able to let go of them if need be. Of course youll hurt now but what youre hurting over is not necessarily all about losing her, its also the fear of going into the unknown, but there are many benefits of this. When youre with someone you have to put them into consideration and you cant really focus on yourself and what you need, thats ok if you dont have any issues or are fairly content as you are by yourself, but if you do like most it can just be a distraction from those issues rather than a solution. Some are happy to distract for the rest of their life even of the relationship isnt that good as you might have done, so theres pros and cons on both sides but take this time to be alone and use it wisely

Your lack of attachment to an outcome is probably what she found attractive in the first place. But yeah go for it, just because somethings pointless doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. On some level everything is pointless anyway, so just go with it I would say, with your presence

I agree with @bejapuskas you have a lot of ideas about what you need to do but all I see is someone trying to escape themselves anyway they can think of. You have to see that you have a belief in what religion or finding or girlfriend would do for you ie make you a happy guy, but what your saying to yourself constantly by doing all these things is that 'im nothing now'. Religion isn't a case of I have enough knowledge so now I'm happy, true religion is dropping all these ideas and seeing what you really are and accepting that fully. On a practical note, getting a girlfriend 100% will not solve your problems, in fact if you go in with the expectation it will make you a happy guy I guarantee you'll be worse then when you started. So drop all ideas that something external will make you happy because it won't and you're probably making some progress as I think you're starting to see that although you haven't given up yet, truly give up on external happiness and things will change

I think theres a couple reasons why these groups are catching fire recently - one is that people do have a lot of pain and are unhappy, (quick google search shows 16 million in the US), and feeling like this you have 2 options you can either take responsibility, work on yourself, improve your life etc or you can blame others or external factors. The first one could take years and can mean facing up to all your pain, the other is easy, you can make a youtube video or post on reddit and can be done in minutes, only issue is that you have to keep on doing it to feed your newly acquired ego. If you look at depression as a spectrum, those that are severely depressed and want to blame external factors can also infect those that are moderately depressed as they offer an easier option for them. Which is why these things catch on. The other big factor is obviously the internet, so before if you felt like this youd probably have to face up to your issues as it would just be difficult finding others that felt the same way. Now whatever issue youve got, you can find 100 other people who feel the same way. That being said it doesnt mean that there isnt truth in what the groups say, i think there is truth its just that its a slice of truth that benefits that group, and is usually weaponised against their opposites. For example, with red pill it would serve men to know womens nature as a lot of young men dont and treat women how they see in romcoms rather than as real people. For me thats not a bad message but it can be skewed and used as a means of attack against women which is not right. MGTOW has a lot of guys that have been through divorce etc it allows them to blame women, this to me is not going to help them get over this pain it just provides temporary relief at great external cost.

Yeah that is just as bad to be honest lol from one extreme to another. But if you take the general message of how to listen a lot of conversations would be improved. I didnt even finish the book to be honest but the message is quite clear and easy to incorporate

Ok so youre thinking about this wrong, for whatever reason shes put the brakes on it and she feels like she can do that because she doesnt feel like youll go anywhere or shes just not feeling you like that. Which maybe a result of you just not making a move. Now, you not talking to other girls actually looks to her like you 'cant' talk to other girls, which is to say other girls are not attracted to you (might not be the case but its how she'll see it). You think that talking to girls will put her off but actually its the complete opposite, if she knew you were talking to other girls and she liked you she would step up her game and show that shes interested, if she didnt like you in the first place she wont but you cant really change that. Its counter-intuitive but you should talk to other girls and not in a manipulative way, just be open to girls coming your way and make choices for you, if you dont like a girl dont take it further. Also if youre not having sex or being affectionate (consensually) with her dont give her so much of your time, this whole thing of im just gonna hang around until she lets me know she likes me rarely works, see if there are any signs if there are make a move. If you really arent sure then say how you feel and if shes not into it then move on but the worst thing you can do is get stuck in this limbo, its bullshit. Anyway good luck, let us know how it goes

I heard somewhere that 90% of your conversations during the day are completely unnecessary, not sure how that's calculated but just from experience most conversations are small talk and are not really needed. I was with my family for dinner recently and there was a kid (my mum's friend's son) of about 4, and he was typical of that age, annoying, noisy, can't sit still. But I noticed he would actually try and talk to people, he would say stuff that's only relevant to him, but you could see it was a way of doing what the adults are doing and engaging with others. Obviously he has terrible social skills but the intention was to connect he just didn't know how exactly. I think a lot of adults are like that as well, essentially they want to connect but they don't really know how, and they're too worried about getting attention. Connecting with someone means finding a common ground between you. If I'm trying to talk to someone I usually think of what they could be interested in, I'm aware that I'm not that interesting so I wouldn't really talk about me but not everyone is aware of this lol. The book 'how to win friends' really helped me and I think it should be a must read for everyone

@Emerald Just to say i respect a lot of what you have to say, you actually give a real insight into being a female. I dont agree with everything you say but i appreciate your perspective and how its communicated

Might sound crass but have you had sex with her yet?

I think humans naturally have a drive to grow and improve, but what has happened is that this natural drive has been co-opted by marketing and business to make you think that you grow via external, material possessions. So you think that by collecting watches it will let you grow as a person and not only that people will see who you are because of these possessions. But as you've seen a new watch only gives you a temporal state of that feeling of achievement, probably the time you get of feeling great about a purchase is correlated to how much you're bought into the idea that you've bettered yourself by buying this thing. By not falling into this trap you can come to realise that growth is only an internal thing and as long as you believe it's not you'll always want something external. I used to get a real buzz buying clothes, phones, computers etc but now it doesn't and I don't expect it to either which means I'm not really even thinking about the next thing I want to buy. But I think it's happened over time, so just like working out a muscle you have to really feel that want and refrain from buying it, once you do it enough you won't even notice. That's not to say don't buy something if you need it but there's a distinction between want for a buzz and want because you need it

See even when you say that my ego, is like 'no I'm not early on my journey I've been doing this for years', I have been it's true but that doesn't mean I havent got lots to learn and progress to make. I guess how I grew up it was quite a macho kind of environment, but I have moved away from that for a while now. Also my father wasn't really around and my mum was working a lot so I created I kind of defensive shell. Also I started developing OCD from a young age, didn't realise at the time, and it was sometimes around worrying about not being masculine enough or questioning my sexuality, so probably created more of an ego. I still get these as well although I can see them a bit clearer for what they are. I've had a couple of experiences of no self which were quite amazing but also made me really want to get out of the times that I'm anxious because I knew that was the answer. But I feel like I've gone backward in the last few months spiritually. Anyway not to turn this into a councilling session but I appreciate you listening and your time

Hey guys, don't normally ask for it but any advice would be appreciated. Feeling really unmotivated, I've been into self actualisation and non duality for a few years now and I feel like I can see the futileness in everyday pursuits, for the first time I can clearly see that nothing external will fulfill, I knew it logically before but I truly feel it now. This is partly because I've had most of my needs met, financially, relationship wise and everything I felt I wanted, I wanted a business that could support my own place, car etc. I knew these things wouldn't complete me but it was still something to achieve. I also have OCD and anxiety and although I wouldn't say I'm free of it I can see the answer is to counter intuitively not respond to it or in other words not do anything. So my issue now is I don't know what to do or how to motivate myself, I keep coming up with things to do but I'm not really feeling it. I've had glimpses of no-self and it feels like I should be striving to reach that again but 'you' can't actually get there. So I feel quite lost at the moment as in I don't know what to do with myself, I don't need 'stuff', I can see the futility of most things so what should I even focus on??

No I agree you're right I do have an ego that kicks in and wants to be the all knowing, completely independent one, which is why I dont really ask for advice even in normal life and normally give it and actually feel lesser for asking which is really dumb tbh. I will make an effort to let this go, any advise on that? I will look into getting the life purpose course, I was considering it actually, do you feel it's helped you so far? Nah I dont think it's depression as I've had that before, this is definitely on the anxious side but it maybe worth talking to someone I'm trying dude, sometimes I feel that truly but other times it feels terrible. Anyway thanks for all your help guys

Ah ok interesting, I get you. Part of it might be I'm afraid to take that final leap into letting go of control, but I'm the same time I know it's stupid to hold onto to anything or live in delusion so I feel in a sort of self inflicted pergatory

Thanks bro will do some of that. You mean mindfulness without labelling right?

Doesn't necessarily make it a cult though more of a scam if anything, I don't know a great deal about it so just going off what you said

You maybe right, what would you suggest to do that?

Thanks for the advice, tbh though I do a lot of these things, I got to the gym 4 times a week, diets pretty clean, I do intermittent fasting, I meditate and journal although both could be more consistent. They do help definitely and I'm sure if my routine was better it would help even more so, but it feels like something's missing and I don't know what because everything kinda seems empty or hollow. In a way it might be natural progression to see this but I just don't know where to go from here

The philosophy behind it is probably yellow, because at its simplest form it offers a way to trade without the stage orange infrastructure, banks etc. Problem is, that orange infrastructure is very rooted at the moment and because our society is mainly orange it would be impossible to successfully implement a more advanced concept such as bitcoin. Anything given to us now that's advanced will just be used for orange ends. It's like if you gave a chimp a computer they'd probably use as rudimentary tool to catch ants or something. Obviously this has come to pass which is cryptos have fallen dramatically this year

I think what we need to do is stop looking at people in black and white terms or that they're some all knowing being. Everyone has valuable information and everyone has an ego, so just work out what information is valuable to you and dont buy into any teacher wholesale. Tbh I usually get a feeling whether someone is speaking from presence or not or whether they have an inflated ego. So I think just go with your gut on these things. The goal isn't to find the reincarnation of Christ it's to get the pointers you need to see what you truly are (or aren't). So get out of the idol mindset

I watched a doc which charted child genius' life, they had very high iqs 150+ at like 10 but very few of them made any kind of success of their lives, so i really dont think its that much of a factor, it is a factor but so are all the other intelligences, so is attractiveness, so is athleticism, theres so many, to boil it down to just iq i think is short sighted