Sugarcoat

@Yimpa ok…

How are your enlightenment experiences? What where they caused by?

@Leo Gura Ok tnx

What is higher vs lower state of consciousness? Is it a matter of more or less ego?

@Schizophonia 😂😂😂

“Increases my prolactin” are we thinking the same thing😏🍒 Thansk for the tip Ok I stop

80: I love David Goggins edits

@Yimpa is that Leo Gura?

Ok got it

@Leo Gura isn’t deep dreamless sleep UNconsciosuness? So it’s not a state of consciousness

They think they’re shooting for no self/enlightement but what they actually subconsciously want is a big fat ego boost to their spiritual ego to be able to say “look I’m enlightened”

@Schizophonia didn’t you say diary makes you autistic or something 🤣

Hahah thanks. As I said I’m not in COMPLETE emptiness Because I still have a, what I would call, a “subtle” ego left. But it is like im close to emptiness. Rupert spira has said there’s two steps to enlightenment. First you awaken to yourself as nothingness, empty awareness, but it’s still separate from the rest, then the nothingness merges with everything and it’s no longer empty it’s full. So maybe you’re onto something

@Schizophonia omg that’s so sweet of you

I still wanna do more psychedelics. Maybe I’m wired differently

I feel I have different ways I’d like to go i would either like to have a normal ego like others have. Or id like to have full dissolution. What could be negative when there’s no ego there? or id like to, maybe this is the ideal one, self realize beyond the ego. So seeing that the ego is illusion, but it could still be there

Wow hundreds of trips and you’re still not permanently dissolved? There’s no hope for us

What is that “death” you talk about?

It was like that up until a certain point. In the beginning when I was shedding layers of ego I’d feel more alive after it happened But then it got to a point where it broke down so much ego that I didn’t have a normal ego left, only a tiny speck, so I felt more dead instead. It’s like im almost in an empty void /nothingness all of the time So you still want a certain level of ego to feel alive. It’s quite fascinating, when my ego was at its thinnest. As I wrote in my other post, it was almost like there was nothing at all. Almost like death Yea. But I still say and I’ve said it for over a year now. It’s very simple. It’s incomplete self dissolution

Omg you put in words something that I’ve had on my mind. I’ve thought it’s like the self illusion can drop without dissolving the self. So there’s still a self structure in place but it’s “seen through”. Because I still have the illusion of self intact, I still feel I am the self. But what i say is that I’ve dissolved a big portion of its structure, because it used to be way denser in the past I remember Oh like derealization / depersonalization, yes it’s not that. right now as I’m writing this I barely feel like I exist. The sense of self is so thin and weak. It’s like it’s super “subtle” that’s the best way to put it in words. And it has been like that constantly for over a year now.

Maybe there’s different forms of awakening? So not all of them lead to this “levitating with so much energy” id agree with you. I don’t agree with those who say it’s easy . Exactly , monks spend entire lifetimes and some dont get there still. I personally believe it’s something in the brain that creates the self so you gotta break through that You won’t believe this but what I have basically done since childhood is a form of observation of the self/self inquiry. And that’s why so much dissolved april 2023 I had a big breakthrough that put me in this subtle yet profound bliss So I’m stuck with this thin sense of self (that’s why I feel I barely exist) . And I’ve been stuck with for over a year now.

They have total self dissolution. It’s a whole different thing. Difference between 1% and infinity is major. Can’t compare I’m talking about having a little ego left that is discontent with its “barely alive” existence A consequence of the partial self dissolution is that I feel an extreme “lightness” in my body (because it releases tension). Im not really looking for help with this post. Just writing as self expression.

”there’s no ego really” is just words to me. To me there seems to be a real ego/self pretty much constantly present. What happened to me is that I went through a thinning of it, so it’s much thinner than it used to be I walk 15 k steps a day I feel it makes no difference But thanks anyways. I’m not really looking for help with this post I just write like self expression for no reason

@meta_male It’s that I went through a lot of shedding the ego over the years so it left me with this tiny ego . So the boundary between me and the rest is not so strong i do exercise a little maybe I should do it more…

I feel like you can do spirituality and all of that. Contemplation, meditation, psychedelics. And it all has a kind of mechanism, maybe a mechanism in the brain, how it affects the sense of self, and can contribute to breaking it apart (that’s the goal right? What else is there to do if you wanna see the reality instead of breaking the self? But the thing is, what happens is that “spirituality” then turns into a world view, ideas and beliefs you hold. It turns into an attachment of your ego, you identify as spiritual person. Your worldview in your mind shapes your view of the world like a mental filter, so you see through your own mental filter. the trick is that it’s precisely THAT you want to BREAKTHROUGH. That’s kinda what happened to me. I meditated and saw how “spirituality” was a world view I held attached to my ego, so that layer of my mind/ego dissolved upon seeing that. So today I could do spirituality , but it would be without the attachment to ego, it would be “pure” so to speak.