Sugarcoat

I think u can do it solo

Yea like my family seems pretty content meanwhile I walk around quite miserable all of the time and wanna die . So yea absolutely you can be happy in duality.

If there’s a self it’s a ~separate~ self how else is there a self? And for me it seems real then if it’s actually real I can’t know.

I’m definitely not free damn I’m so trapped in duality! It’s so obvious! I’m the queen of duality I’m so fucking dual!! All the time!!! Duality is all I know!!!!

Yea it’s good to review one’s diet

Yea I get what you mean but that’s still on perception level it’s still dual

Duality is so freaking obvious. My guess is that it can be equally as obvious as they say non duality is for those who have realized it. I feel like I exist every second of every day. It never leaves me. I never forget about myself. I never loose myself in something. I’m always here, watching from behind the eyes. I’m constantly here. It’s so obvious. I’m so freaking trapped in duality. Like I can’t get out of this duality dream or whatever it is. It’s like rock solid. More solid then the objects around me. I think about these things all day long. But you know what I’ve noticed? No amount of contemplation makes any difference, no amount of listening to non duality talk does a difference. Because it’s all words. It doesn’t shake anything. It doesn’t shake this self structure that my piece of reality is seemingly dreaming up 24/7. It’s so rock solid no word breaks it apart. It’s like all the thinking I do is happening within the dual dream I’m trapped in. I think I need psychedelics. And hard ones at that. I think that’s my only chance of breaking this structure. I could do meditation and I did in the past. But I don’t have a strong enough desire for it so I don’t do it anymore to be honest. I could if I wanted but I don’t want to. I enjoy contemplation more but as I said it doesn’t make a difference. My guess is psychedelics are stronger anyways

I don’t see the door lol why am I being funny

Yea it’s like problems comes with having a self it’s the source of problem. I remember when I was a child and the sense of separation was stronger (sounds counterintuitive but that’s how it was for me) I had this existential anxiety that wasn’t related to any particular situation. So in your case yes it can relate to feeling separate, although it would be good to get clear about what it is specifically you’re paranoid about. If it’s something in particular because then you can tackle it better

Non dualist schizophonia has stepped in

People don’t recognize how much their identity plays a role in their emotions, opinions, ideologies, reactions etc. It’s like the identity survives on precisely unawareness of it.

I eat junk on weekends. I’ve been lowkey wanting to minimize it even more to optimize my diet more. I eat healthy during the weekdays though . I feel healthy regardless.

Yea keep exploring and hopefully you’ll find some solution This dual dream comes with its fair share of suffering yea

Can this brain please stop imagining itself I’m tired of this duality

As long as it’s not a hindrance in daily life. We all have our darkness

Follow what feels good to you. Yea I’ve heard it’s important to be in a good state. When I did some I was afraid to take high doses so I started small (I was alone too not the best for first time)

I need to try

Ok so it was positive

Yea I know this goes beyond the conceptual, but for now I’m stuck in conceptual not gonna lie. That’s very obvious to me. I wanna do psychedelics and breathwork to see what that can do. I have shed many layers to self but it seems the last layer I can’t shed it’s like rock solid imagination of my brain

What is that?

And you say it’s the absence of limits

Im pretty sure I’ve never experienced that, but it shows how imaginary the identity can be

I don’t know if I’ve had an awakening but I had a massive shift April 2023. I have no attachments left. My life is very simple, I just do what I have then I do what I want with the rest of my time. No pressure. I like the simple life.

No but I notice sense of self is different in dreams. It’s like softer and more emotional

To me it seems I exist all the time because I imagine myself so much. I’m not sure though. if I ask myself, “what am I” , I’d point to my head…