Something Funny

Because no matter how many girls you approach, how successful you are with pickup, how much sex you have, you will still have the same low, conditional self-esteem and luck of self-love. It will never be enough. It's not about learning to act normally, or what dating strategy to choose. It's about developing unconditional self-love and learning to support yourself, so that no matter if you have never had sex in your life or if sleep with a new girl every day, it doesn't affect your sense of worth. My drug metaphor was to show that getting a girlfriend doesn't require some elaborate skills. There is no drug that will make you a great software engineer for example. All that is stopping you is fear and lack of confidence. Why do you feel fear when you approach a girl? Why do you lack confidence when you approach a girl? Because of your negative self-image. If your core belief was that you are a freaking badass king no matter what, you wouldn't have had those issues. This is why narcissists don't have issues with confidence or approaching girls. Not because they have exceptional social skills. They just feel like: "I am God and if you don't like me, there is something wrong with you, not me".

@The Renaissance Man I've thought of a nice metaphor / experiement. I am not an expert on drugs, but there is probably one that will make even the most introverted and shy person very confident and outgoing. If we take that person, give them the drug, and put them in a social situation where there are opportunities to find a girlfriend / get laid. Do you think their chances to get laid will increase, compared to them being sober? Yes or no?

What he really needs is a psychotherapy. He needs to rewire his entire belief system, not social system. You see, that's the whole problem.

No it's not. What do you base this assumption on?

@Emerald I said that you ignored Leo's response, because you didn't really address what he said and then just went back to saying the same thing in your very next comment to Princess. Can you answer this: why is it hypocritical to criticise porn while also watching porn? Does that make you a hypocrite if you talk about those issue? If you say that war is low consciousness, then do you have a low level of consciousness for paying taxed that are spent on bombing children? It can be unconscious, it doesn't have to be. As Leo's case seems to show. So no, it's not inherently inconsistent. My issue with this is that instead of focusing on the point a person presents and addressing it at face value, you are instead making it about that person (a person on an online forum you know nothing about), basically dismissing they argument entirely because of who they supposedly are. That was referring to the comments Princess made, I see that talking to you both at the same time was a bad idea.

Are you able to at least entertain the possibility that this is an issue, not your lack of pickup skills? You don't suck, you don't have to be bad with women, you don't have to be awkward. Plus, you don't even have to limit yourself to just your social circle. Randomly talking to a girl on a bus, while you are on your way to work isn't pickup. Meeting women at a pottery class, or at the gym, or at the gaming convention, isn't pickup.

@The Renaissance Man I had a friend in uni who was a super nerdy Turkish guy. Back then, I didn't even know what reddit is before he showed it to me. His favourite game was hearts of iron IV. He got a girlfriend just because he had a girl friend who he would hangout with and go drinking beer with. And eventually they started dating and have been in a relationship for like 5 years since. All he had to do was to be a normal person. Not act needy, desperate, not be into any weird red pill shit, etc.

You do realise that 99% of people who have a girlfriend, wife, family, are not into pickup, right? You do not need to have "skills" to get a girlfriend. This is actually a limiting belief. Have you seen most guys in a relationship? They are just your average guy who plays video games, has a 9 to 5 job, and some friends who he drinks with on Friday.

Just get a girlfriend?

@mmKay I think most people do pickup for ego (or personal development in rare cases like Leo), not because of Libido. Having a relationship is probably the easiest way to get your sex needs met. If you do that by trying to get to 10000 approaches then you are spending a shit ton of time on it. Time that you could have used to focus on that other stuff. I think pickup is really inefficient if you just want to satisfy your libido.

But do you need to have as good social skills as she does, though? What about all the feminine/masculine and opposites attract stuff?

I think the idea is that if you do that many approaches, techniques become redundant. Your brain just start to making intuitive connections on how to do it. Kind of like learning hand-balancing. Sure, you can learn as much theory as you want, but to actually learn how to stand on one hand you just need to stand on your hands for 10000 hours to allow your brain to learn it. And of course you need to be really into it to do 10000 approaches. To you it sounds like a grind, and "why doo all that if you can get results in the first 100", but some guys probably just enjoy the act of approaching itself. So for them it's a non-issue.

I see.

There are a lot of actual rape cases in India though, no?

@Leo Gura I really love the idea of becoming really good at something through practice, but isn't feeling like you need to get good because of "what am I going to do if my girlfriend leaves me?" a bad mindset? It sound kind of neurotic. I recognise it as such because I often have the same way of thinking in many other areas of life. Realistically speaking, if you were able to find your current girlfriend, then you should be able to find another girlfriend in the same way afterwards. So there is no need to stress too much about it. Sure, finding a new girlfriend won't be as efficient and automated as if you were a professional pickup artist, but most people don't need it to be that efficient, I think.

@Princess Arabia I kind of lumped those quotes of yours with Emerald, sorry. I've re-read what you are talking about ad can see that you were using them in a different context. But my other point still stands. I don't think that just because someone watches porn that means that they have no right to criticise it.

@Emerald @Princess Arabia why, after both nagging Leo with "aren't you watching porn as well" you just ignore his response and keep singing the same tune? I would like to hear your thoughts on it. Is it hypocritical to call out something if you participate in it? Like Leo said, production of your phone is unethical, yet you still use it. Does that mean that you now have no right to raise this issue because it would be hypocritical? How is that different from watching porn while also raising issues that it has? If we are not allowed to do that, then how are we supposed to improve as a society? Because this applies to basically everything: "Oh, you don't like climate change? Aren't you causing it as well by driving a car to work, hypocrite?" Where does this attitude lead us? Literal crabs in the bucket situation. *** Also, I love how both of you say that judging things is wrong and unspiritual, while you in turn judge people on this forum for raising this issue. And instead of acknowledging that they might be to a degree, just weaponise psychology and therapy talk to dismiss them: "There is nothing wrong with porn, there is something wrong with you if you have an issue with it" is basically what you are saying. @Emerald if you really cared about helping people get over their shame based feelings around porn, wouldn't the first step be trying to emphasise with them and acknowledging that some things that they are saying are valid? As opposed to, you know, entirely dismissing what they are saying and just shaming them more?

Leo has lots of different tyoes of mediatation on his channel, and there are even more of them in general. Which one is best for people who struggle with adhd and want to reduce the symptoms? Just focusing on your breath or something like that?

Hi @Leo Gura, I am trying to update my email address for the courses account, but it doesn't work. The page only allows you to change email and password at the same time, not separately. Otherwise, it gives you an error saying that passwords don't match. And when I try to change them both at the same time, only password changes, and email stays the same. There is a message saying: "Verification email sent. You must now confirm your new email." But nothing arrives at my new mailbox. Instead, I get an email at my old mailbox saying that my password was changed. Do you know if something can be done about this?

@Ulax thank you

@Davino ok, thank you

My speaking skills are bad. And big part of it is because I am simply afraid to talk and express myself. I haven't tried it yet, but I think AI can be really good and helping me to fix this simply because it will allow me to talk as much as I want without the fear of being judged or saying something stupid. An alternative way would be to start socializing a lot, going to toast masters and do other stuff like this. Which is great, but it's a much bigger commitment and I don't have time an energy for it right now. So I think an opportunity to practice your speaking skills without "getting out of bed" is really nice.

@Buck Edwards paid. Are you saying that those voice training apps are free? Can you share any? I've checked the one mentioned abaove and it is subsription based.

@Davino are they also based on chat gpt api? What are the benefots of using them over the main chat gpt app?