Something Funny

@Thought Art yeah, but how?

Thanks for recommending it. I've just watched it and it was the best movie I've ever seen.

@mr_engineer no, but I am not going to engage in this dumb conversation.

@Ulax just a little rant.

@Judy2, @Lila9 if this makes you feel any better, those types of conversations are kind of silly in my opinion, because there is no universal standard for what a "10" is and perception of beauty is different for different people. It has become really obvious to me recently because I started doing cold approaching with a few other guys and have noticed that our tastes are quite different. Just yesterday one of them was showing a picture of a girl to me, saying how frustrated he is that she flaked on him because she is one of the hottest women he has ever seen. While I was thinking to myself "ehh, she looks fine, I guess". Similarly, he would often not even look at girls who I found really cute and attractive, etc.

@Ulax also, I can emphasize with girls here who complain about always having to read stuff like "you need to be a 10 to have value". It does mess with your head whether you want it or not.

@Ulax but that's not why I made the comment. It's just that I have noticed that anytime I enter a dating section here it's more likely that I will get some negative belief or ideology forced into my mind instead of getting some positive information / motivation / encouragement. It is seriously affecting me in a bad way. And even if you block users who post this kinds of stuff, you can still see the titles like "women treat men the way they treat jobs". What an empowering message to read before going to sleep while trying to improve your dating life, lol.

@Mask Seller I actually changed the way I think about this situation in general. Before I believed that I can't have a relationship because I am too busy with other aspects of my life, but now I think that it was just insecurity in me speaking. Nothing really is stopping me from trying to get into a relationship, even if I am super busy. And if the girl decides to break up with me because I don't invest too much time into her, well, that's on her. The same with thinking that I won't able to develop my dating skills if I get into a relationship. Getting a gf will be hard af for me as os, and I will have to go through a lot to get there. So I will develop plenty. And if I am not good enough, the girl will just break up with me and I will keep going. So now my goal is to actually get a gf through this process and then see where it goes.

It might sound weird but I just don't feel any actual desire to sleep with a girl when I approach her. I finally got serious about learning game and even found myself a few wingmen. And what I've noticed is that they are really into it. They approach girls because they actually want to sleep with them. They discuss girls in between approaches, they comment on how hot this or that girls is, etc. For me, I am just doing it for personal development, not for getting sex. I want to become more confident, more social, a better man in general. The idea of fucking some random girl doesn't excite me, even if she is really hot. I would like to have a gf, but this is not really feasible right now because of the following reasons: 1. I have more important stuff I want to handle first, like my career. 2. If I get a girlfriend I won't be able to do pickup, and that's what I am primarily interested in right now. And so because I know that it won't lead anywhere serious in the end I am not trying that hard. I do an approach and that's it, I feel like I already won because I got over my anxiety. And then I just half ass the rest of it. There is no motivation for me to push it because I am not really interested in the end result. Plus it feels fake. Like I approach a girl, and pretend that I am interested and want to date her, but I am actually not. Deep down I know that I am faking it and that I just approached her for the sake of approaching her. And I guess they can feel this undecisivenes as well.

What is the point of those whiney threads??? Seriously, as things are right now it's probably better for my personal development and mental health to watch cat videos on youtube then to scroll through the dating section on this forum, considering all the negative ideology and limiting beliefs that you will pick up here automatically, just by reading this stuff...

@Judy2 I see. I asked because I just had probably the best trip of my life. I started it feeling depressed and frustrated with myself and my life. But then managed to work through all those emotions and find answers to a few issues that were bothering me in life. And ended the trip in a very peaceful and fulfilled state. So I wanted to share and was wandering if that's something that might help you as well. But of course, you need to follow your own judgement and decide whether this is something you need right now or not.

@Judy2 have you ever tried mushrooms? Or some other psychedelics?

@Leo Gura thank you, Leo

You can do it. Of course you can. All those challenges will only make you stronger in the end. I think that you are a really lovely person and I think that you were created like that for a higher purpose. Not just to be buried down under the weight of some random problems. So you will make it.

@Leo Gura @Ulax is there any practical way for me to giving a girl some value when approaching her? I've noticed that my current mindset is really focus on taking, to a point where I feel guilty approaching. I want to change that so that I feel like I am doing something nice when I approach a girl. That I am making her day better, positively impacting her life, etc. But I don't want this to just be a mindset that I have. I want this to actually be the case. Where even if it doesn't work out with a girl, after an approach, after a date, after sex, I still leave a net positive impact on her life. How do I do that?

@Ulax I want to learn pickup. But I want to learn it so that eventually, when I meet a person who I will want to build a relationship with, I can attract them and be smooth and confident, instead of shaking, blushing, and stuttering... Edit: I am definitely in my head, and definitely lack experience. So Leo is probably right and I should just stick with it and do what I am told, instead of trying to reinvent the wheel.

@Leo Gura also you are right, I've just started so maybe like you said I just need need to push through this initial phase of confusion and then I will start to actually like it. I am not going to quit anyway, but I was wondering if I can make some adjustments so that the process feels more enjoyable and authentic.

Guys, that's kind of confusing I can see the value in fully completing the set. But is there any way I can tailor the process for myself so it feels more natural?

But I don't want to build emotional connection with a girl when I know I am just using her for practice and for sex. I guess I am kind of afraid of hurting her eventually when I will have to leave her to continue my pickup journey. I've also noticed that I don't want to approach girls who I would genuinely want to date and have a relationship with because I am kind of trying to save them for the future, when I will actually have serious intentions. Idk if that makes sense.

So not even trying to get a number, just having fun interactions? I feel like this would be more authentic and could work for me.

I've found a few people who agreed to go out and do pickup together. Both the nightgame and daygame. The thing is, I am a total noob and they sound quite experienced. This is good, right? I am looking for advise on how I can be a good wingman and how do I make the most out pf those sessions. Any specific exercises/challenges that we should do?

Wait, are you saying that we are supposed to approach one girl together?? I thought it would look something like one of us is approaching and another is looking from some distance, taking notes? Approaching a girls together sounds weird, no?

I am meeting up with some guy tomorrow and am supposed to meet up with another one on the next weekend I can't believe for how long I've believed that it's impossible for me to find a wingman.

I want to find a wingman but game global group for my city has like 30 members and it looks like nobody is active on it. There are only self-promotion spam posts and nobody responded to my message. Any other ideas where I can find people?

@Ulax I actually decided to pm all 30 people from that group and got quite a few responses, so I think I might find someone