The Caretaker

1.5 months ago, I moved out to dedicate my time to socializing. Here is the past where I described my early stages - And now, where does this leave me: One entire week, I had nightmares because I was convinced my reputation was ruined after a "massive" day of cold approach (it wasn't, not even close) Got sick 2 times in a month after some emotional turmoil (one around the reputation stuff, another later from very bad sleep) Lost all momentum with my gym routine Lost most pleasure from my day job Triggered my old dating wounds after 1 week of situationship, where we had sex for like 2 days, and then she broke up with me because we were "incompatible" and could not relax around me For reasons too long to describe here, I lost touch with my last 2 close friends. Tried to make contact and create new friendships, but the process is slow, and my emotional state is already fucked up Have no hobbies left that I could enjoy Today had 2 dreams that showed me morally where I am at. One where I connected with an old friend of mine (we were not compatible for years, but had the personal development bone that kept us together for years). Another was where my "ex" cheated with me on her boyfriend. And this dream was mostly condescending from her part, idk, it's hard to explain. Was more nostalgia and pettiness rather than lust. Literally, all I am left with now is a pickup guy with whom I talk often, but this is no replacement for real friendship. We are mostly in here for results. I have no consistent safe place to vent. I have nobody who could listen to me. And I am already quite an individualistic person to begin with, who often does not even look for help. It got so bad a few weeks ago that I had a dialogue with ChatGPT and cried so hard I could barely contain myself. Maybe my worst outburst from the past 5-10 years. At this point, I don't know what I want. I feel the most miserable I have ever been for a long time. Even tho I am completely functional. All I want to do is work. I don't even want to take care of my body. I just want to work, work, work and achieve financial independence; nothing else even remotely gives me a burst of motivation. I am not even looking for particular advice. Just wanted to vent. Peace to you and much patience.

I had a long (literally a few A4 pages of description, thanks again to my personality type), but I can sum up in a few sentences. 1) So far, I've achieved most of the things that require SOLO routines (enjoyable and good-paying job, decent physique, higher consciousness and intelligence). 2) I struggle very, very much with any social stuff. If making new friends is not that hard per say, dating feels borderline impossible. Fears, anxieties, traumas, what-ifs, and so on. All the worst struggles a ever had surround this topic. 3) I have some relationship experience, but every freaking time it was engaged by the other party, so I don't really have a skill set to reach them on my own. 4) I am not that good-looking, per se, but I have a lot of charisma, intelligence, and humor. 5) I can make a new routine of going out much more often (which I kinda already do), but I never approach anybody. Day game, night game, social circles, what fucking ever. Fear just overwhelms me. Compared to solitary confinement, this is the real torture. Next year I am 30, so this will not get any easier by age. I want to make the maximum of this summer and autumn. Starting by finding a wingman, local or through pick-up websites, might be a solution, but tbh, I kinda got disappointed in other people. I want a method to not rely on anybody, which by itself might be the problem. I want a LOGICAL and SOLO solution to an EMOTIONAL and SOCIAL problem. Which again does not sound much like play. But Jesus fucking Christ, no amount of self-awareness ever helped me with this. I was considering joining a local pick-up/wingman community through Leo's link. It had around 40-50 people in there. Also, the city I live in has around 800k-1m population. The points of interest are rather small, so the concentration of people is high. I just wonder if this number is enough for cold approach or to consider mostly social circles.

For now, yes.

Small update on my dating situation: My city has enough anonymity and volume for daygame/online. My wing has been doing this like a crazy animal for 6 weeks or so, almost on a daily basis. Maybe he will run sun enough out of attractive women, but still, I will need a year to achieve this amount of volume, so not doing cold is mostly just an excuse. In my social circles, I have only 2 girls I want to take out, but one is not responsive, and the other is quite autistic and barely responds to my advances (even tho she shows very clear signs of attraction). Met a girl on Tinder. Almost lost her, but remembered Leo's story and another one from my wing to push forward, and got her to sex. We were supposed to have a fwb situation, but our characters were so different that after 2 nights together, she broke up with me. In a week . This one hurt more than I expected. At least I doubled my lay count My and my wing dedicated an entire day to making better photos, and now I've started getting likes and matches on Tinder. Nothing crazy, but still enough to keep the mill going. So now I have empirical proof that dating can work for me, but all of this led to my emotional state from the post below. And here is the update with my mental state -

Just curious what you think about another "marketing guru". We had a discussion today about Alex Hormonzi, and for all his flaws, at least he gives a genuine orange energy. He is easy to follow and separate his teachings from the teacher. Dan, on the other hand, has this weird air to him, Similar to Zuckerberg... Altogh I like his idea about writing and personal business, it became impossible to follow him anymore. Here is also an image with his recent content.

@Joshe At this point, I don't have any doubts anymore about my MBTI Maybe. It just sucks that it feels like a problem I should have resolved when I was younger, and now I'm in conflicts a lot with my own self-image, my own values, reputation, and so on. Even tho I want the results of this work without the bullshit.

Sometimes I hate the bugs on this forum. I made a detailed report, but could not update the bullet points, and lost all of it The List: Went out for 2 days straight for day game (10-12h total) - even tho I haven't made a single solo approach, I helped him with a lot of 2 on 2 approaches. One, I fuckled up really badly, the other one went very smoothly, and everything in between was just practice. Second-hand rejection - from all the approaches he made, he got a few numbers and even went on quite a few dates from numbers from previous days, but we did so many group approaches for practice that I felt all the downsides with very little upside (at least the upside is not noticible, but might change my mind after I sleep and reset my inner state). Extreme volume - we did day game in a small area (around 400m²). At this point, I can't remember the faces of even 5% of the girls we approached. Which might be fine for him, but I am a local, and I am worried that if I continue at this speed, I might get a bad reputation eventually (if not already). The city is around 700k, and my appearance is quite memorable. Is rare to see here a man who has long blonde hair. Conservative mindset - I don't even know how worth it is to bother more with cold approach. The number of women who are 18-19 and engaged was staggering (they showed us the ring when asked if they are in a relationship). And ofc older ones are married already. We have a mix of blue and orange stages around here. Personal dilemma, and Paranoia - I don't even feel empowered by all this action. If anything, it is the opposite. I feel like a 30 y/o creep who has nothing better to do than bother an 18 y/o the entire day. I don't even understand where this is coming from. Me being a soft people pleaser. My intuition is trying to signal me that we are in danger. Or my mind is trying to say that this way of doing is futile. Or my identity wants to be kept. Or my safety is being endangered. Or the people I hang out with are giving me creeps (one of the guys is a comically stereotypical Andrew Tate fan). I work as a teacher in a private academy, and now and then I still stumble upon students I know. And if all the classes I already have, I could at least control who not to approach. In October, we will have a new batch of students, and I am really, really worried that some of my embarrassment will print in their mind and they will not forget me and all the game bullshit we did so far. FUCK. I hate it so much when I am not in control of the situation. On one hand, all my self-development work and age (I'm 29) made me much more aware of how dumb all of this is and how a true connection can be achieved only through social circles. Yet on the other hand, my struggle with dating and the limited pool of women who show interest in me is frustrating me beyond limit. Honestly, it gets so intricate and out of my control, that I already I am already thinking, just in case of plan B changing my work, and plan C moving the fuck out of this country. Idk, I feel cornered.

@Ramanujan @Joshe After the update that I will make soon, I started to doubt my type and took the test again, yet I still got the same result Also, guys, you might be right about personality types. All the women that I befriended or showed romantic interest in me (and with whom I tried the MBTI test) were either INFJ or INFP. Yet ironically, the one woman that I am attracted to the most right now is an ENFP (she took the test as well a while ago)

Holy fuck!, So much weird stuff happened, even beyond pure pick up stuff, that it is almost impossible to fit it all even in a few pages, but I will try to keep an overview and give more context only if asked. Also, I will fill it with stories and emotions to keep it more engaging. If you want to give feedback, reading just the TLDR will be enough. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friday evening - took 200ml of beer (at the end of the night). Stayed 2-2.5h (personal score 9/10) Went to the city center and met a wing. The guy is a little weird... and he was swearing that he is using AI for a text game with great success. Also, before we met, he told me how he was gaming with three other 3 guys on the same day, and they got assaulted by a local . I know this is not something that happens often, but I just found it very ironic that this was supposed to be my introduction to the field. After we met, I told him my situation, and we went for a walk around the park. While we were talking, we approached like 4-5 groups of girls. Even tho he did most of the talking, I was playing along quite well. It felt like an improvisation game. In the last set, there was a girl so beautiful that I had trouble sleeping at night. The only thing I could think about was how sleeping/dating such a girl felt more possible. The state I got from these few approaches was so strong that during my sleep, I could not think of anything else other than places to game and ways to be playful. My mind was melting. Even the day afterward, after I finally fell asleep, during my morning routine and shopping, I saw like 4 situations in 30 minutes where I could approach somebody and at very least have some fun dialogue. Also got in contact with 2 more wings, but this will be more relevant later. Saturday - took 500ml of beer (at the end of the night) + 1 ice cream. Stayed 9h (6pm to 9am) and changed 3 places (personal score 2-9/10 - it will make more sense after explanation) Fuck my mind. Idk, after this day, I will not be the same person for sure. So much bizarre, serendipitous stuff happened that I really have trouble knowing where to start, so I will try to keep it as concise as possible. First, I went to a concert and was just moving towards the place where I was trying to build some solo state. When I arrived, I checked the venue. And holy fuck, the place was rather small in size, but filled with beautiful women. I saw this day more pretty girls than a few months prior to just moving around the city. The entire evening, I was trying to get comfortable, but could not gather the courage to approach anybody. One case was so frustrating for me that I will make as a separate bullet point. I saw a woman there who was just hanging out alone. She was around 30, but very pretty and dancative. Idk what her deal was, and why she was alone, but my intuition told me this was the perfect place to start. I had the line, I had lots of occasions, but my mind refused to cooperate. At some point, I got so fixed with the idea that I barely remember other girls. I swear I spent over an hour moving around until lI lost her somewhere in the crowd (I was not following her, she was literally staying in one small area and dancing for over 1h for sure). I got so angry with myself that I almost started dancing out of spite. FYI, the concert was taking place 25-30m walking distance from the center of the park. The entire evening until I left the place, I was thinking (if only I had better skills, the logistics and optionality were already handled for me, on a silver platter...). This idea was so painful for me that I almost wanted to cry there. Even writing this rn makes me emotional. After that whole situation, the music got really good and I got dancing to loosen it off a bit. I don't think I was dancing so hard in my entire life. Afterwards, it felt already late, but I promised a friend to meet in the center (let's call him "A"), and said fuck it. I was already tired, but went in the center anyway. A weird thing I've noticed, that after the concert (3-4h in total) my mind almost entered a meditative state. It felt empty. During my road there, I was trying to start random dialogues with strangers. Still could not approach girls, but was a state closer to Friday. We decided to meet with "A" at a bar, and until he arrived, I had like 40m to spare, so I went to a busy avenue. And here is where serendipity strikes. Just by my deciding to go to that venue, I met my ex with her new boyfriend, a few of my students, and the guy from Friday with another 3 wings. Had a nice chat with them before I met my friend. Went to another 4-5 sets with a new wing today (today, both wings I met talked shit about each other behind each other's back, but this is expected from PUA's). After that, the night was quite chill. Met with "A" and another coworker of his and stayed until 2AM at the bar. We had a dialogue that felt like therapy. For the first time in like 5 years, I felt I had somebody to talk to about personal problems, even tho I met this day the second time in my life outside the social circle we met. Also found out that the leader of a spiritual class I went to is a freaking sex fiend, thirsting for pussy like an animal, but I already felt that when I saw his IG. Just adding my 2 cents on how pussy/validation-oriented all this hippy and spiritual fluff is. Sunday - stayed at home and just had a coffee and 1 ice cream (my personality is melting/10) Went to sleep at 3-4 am, so had no desire to wake up at 8 am for a random yoga class, so I stayed at home to recover. After the last 2 days, I started to question everything. But most of all, how humans interact with each other and what my own self-image is made of. I felt today that I got more emotional, especially angry and sad. Almost like a valve broke, but after these emotions, also came some relief and hope. I will think a little more about my identity, as I feel something is going on in my brain and I need time to integrate it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TLDR; This time I had fun in a bar and even more fun at the concert, but could not force myself to approach anybody alone. Did play along with 2 different wings while they were approaching, so you could say now I have somebody to ask for advice (even tho I already see flaws in their approach, but all I need is action and enough experience to get on my own courage). Also, I have a new friend who is actually an extrovert and has already told me quite a lot about some "behind-the-scenes" stuff. He is a natural, and I really vibe with his company. I told him about all this PUA stuff, and we laughed together about how autistic, but in a humorous, not judgmental way. We really had the time of our lives My identity is melting, and my brain almost can't keep up A floodgate of opportunities has opened. Now I believe that I could sleep with/date very pretty women, but my identity still reflects my old self, which is far removed from this fantasy Also started a new routine on watching on a daily basis, Infield (say hello to my INTJ nature again) Main Question - next week I have entirely for myself. If I wanted, I could go out for 2 days, or 6, all up to me. In one way, I want to get good as fast as possible, but on the other, I don't vibe that much with these wings + my personality is glitching rn. Should I take it easier, or is it all in my head? I will contemplate all of that myself for the next few days. If anybody has any input with similar experience, I would gladly listen.

First part succeeded, found the best places in town. Second part, not so much, at least alone. I will write an update soon to describe the situation. I would not trust Obama getting me laid, nor would I trust a PUA leading a country. Both have good contextual charisma, yet they are like apples and oranges.

I've trained mine to cut the bullshit and think in systems tailored to my preferences. Also I've noticed that when all of this AI hyper started, I was more talkative and empathic towards it. But now, when it does not make what I need in a few tries, I get mad and start to swear to just let it loose. That's exactly how I use it

@PurpleTree Same. Actually had to pen my notes to remember even a single line or idea. At least during that period of my time, I have it 9/10. But from what I noticed in my notes, the book does not have any original ideas. However, for somebody who is only starting, it seems like a good read.

Might be a weird choice, but I've started to notice more and more how good storytelling can make any topic interesting (in case you are far away from video games, I've attached the second video). I really like how videos can be a powerful medium, and channels like those inspire me to work more on my editing and writing skills.

Wanted to make a separate post about my updates, but I feel like I have too little experience to share, so I will just update here. My goal was just to get comfortable and see my limits and preferences. Friday night - took 250ml of canned wine, ~around 20ml of alcohol. Stayed 1-1.5h (personal score 2/10) Went to an open bar in the city center - there were a few places with music, but nobody (maybe except like 4 dudes) was dancing. I was not in the mood at all to dance. Alcohol didn't help either - instead of feeling more loose, I felt EVERY side effect possible (dizziness, worst motorics, etc), but not loose. I was as self-conscious as ever, but also tired. And even this amount was enough to make my head spin, so I doubt any more will make me feel good. The avenue was not that busy this night in particular, but I still saw maybe about 5-10 women I would approach. Maybe if I had stayed for 3 hours, things would have changed, as I saw more people coming when I left. Saturday evening - 2 ice creams, 0 alcohol. Stayed 2-2.5h (personal score 7/10) Went to a concert during the evening. Most of the music was meh, but one group in particular made me dance and jump quite a lot. I could not say it made me "more social" per say, but I had fun, was active, and moved closer to the scene to vibe. Sadly, the place was mostly family-oriented, and the number of attractive women was low, even tho the place had for sure more than 1k people. Saturday evening - took 500ml of lime beer, ~around 12ml of alcohol. Stayed 1-1.5h (personal score 5/10) This time I was curious if less alcohol would affect me the same. Either because it was beer or because it had less alcohol, but this time it went smoother. And also the taster was better. I went to a park in the city center just to relax and get the momentum going. Could not say I found that many attractive women (might be a timing problem), but still, if I gave myself the goal to approach, I would have a few options. Now, what I am planning differently this week: First, fuck alcohol. Unless I am drinking something soft in a social company, I am not touching that shit. IDK about others, but it gives no easier time to enter the state. I remain as self-aware as I was, and upping the quantity to get wasted doesn't enter my frame. Tried to invite 5 different dudes from the wing group Leo sent a time ago, and all of them flaked one way or another. So fuck that shit either. I will rather look for local guys or continue to find dudes through social circles. Also, going alone suck. Even letting all that state stuff, it's boring. So for this week, I already invited an extroverted acquaintance of mine to a bar for Friday night. Invited a girl from work to a concert on Saturday. And I am planning to go solo for yoga on Sunday morning. TLDR; I failed Leo's assignment to have fun at a bar/club, and that is ok. Will try again this week to just relax. Also, there is a real chance I will be flacked by both persons I invited, which is fine too. I will go solo again, but this time I will try to make a new friend at the place. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk. If God sends you and inshight that might aid me, I would gladly consider.

@theleelajoker will make and update later this week as a separate post. Might need more insight and assistance on where to move forward.

Maybe it's better to ask actually bodybuilders. From what I saw on the internet, quite a lot of them are obsessed with their body (I guess in a good way), and at some point, eating became not even a chore, more like a punishment. So idk, if you just aim for a general good physic, no. But elite stuff requires sacrifice, and tasty food could be one of the few things in life not worth cutting off completely.

Good job on doing the first steps. Today I will also go alone to taste the waters. Good luck to us, I guess

Yep, it sounds about right. You never know when fatigue, time limits, or emotional deregulation will hit you. But once you will build your routine, no matter how small, they will start carry you over and not the other way around.

I have the same perception of them, but might keep an open mind if this will resolve my core issue. It makes sense even in theory, but this is not a skill or a life experince I had so far Maybe avoding it is a trap too. I used to drink with my school/family social circle when I was younger. It was a conformist way to live and I hated it. So I am not glorifying alcohol, nor do I belive I will enjoy it. But small doses might help me lose and finally get momentum. Dude, I feel you are being too harsh. If anything, all "party" people I meant were total morons and lose screws. They had such I shitty life direction that I don't know If any of them will have any energy left by 40. Both extremes are fucked up. So far I lived my life as a "square" you mentioned, but want to move the pendulum closer to the middle. Also personality type played a huge role in that. I am sure If I got in your social circle and you got in mine, we would end exactly in the same place we are now. You would find somebody to party and I somebody to geek out. Our predisposition plays a huge, huge role.

Also, btw, what do you recommend drinking? I don't even know much about the current landscape. I need something that is not too heavy on the body and does not have a shitty spirit taste. Anything sweet that will not fuck up my sleep or fitness too much will work.

Thanks for replies. This topic is very bloated on this forum, but I got a few good vectors. It's funny how alcohol made a full circle in the self-help community . This is not the first time I heard that completely refusing it usually makes more harm than good, especially for folks like me. Thanks for the assignment. It gives me a particular direction to work on, which is all I need for my mind. And yes, I know this is a "party" problem and not a "women" problem. That's why I titled the post like I did. I know myself. Until I get some experience, confront, and at least 1 trusty wing, I will need some help. Cold turkey just does not work for me. MBTI does not have to be truthful to be useful, as any other scheme or map. If anything, focusing inward will make the matter worse for me. I really like breathwork or meditation to raise my cousnouness, but I already struggle with too much self-awarness when It comes to dating. (or rather, self-reflection; If I had enough self-awareness, I would not have this problem to begin with). I already do that a lot. If I had to be my top 5 "superpowers," it would be my sense of humor. I work with people a lot on my day job, so I learned how to be very charismatic when I feel comfortable (aka at my work, where I feel competent). So this part is not an issue for me. @JosheYeah, I am slowly realising that maybe renouncing it does more harm than good. At least at this stage. Not possible at this stage. I don't know anybody who is open about psychedelics in my region, so it is a huge risk that might actually ruin my life. I would rather travel somewhere when I will have more money.

Finding and accepting your talent does. But if the talent aligns with your tastes and purpose is another question.

Game Assets. Tho, I am curious as well how 4k videos are still in demand.

So, did anybody have any success with the concept this year?

@Vynce No. Just liked the vibe of his album when I made the profile.