Jannes

Nah I just want to tip a foot in the water and then see how I feel about it. Maybe I don’t even like it. I am just very open curious.

Oooh because death is truth and survival is the opposite. So everything society feeds me has the purpose of survival because society is just a giant organism which tries to survive at all cost and so you can take for granted that it’s advice will lead to falsehood or that doing the opposite of what’s it’s preaching will lead to truth. Thats actually genius.

I don’t get it. I really want to understand it, can someone explain plss ? ????

I heard Leo saying it a lot. My experience on psychedelics kind of supports the claim. I am always getting confronted with my fears in the most hardcore way. Spiders, snakes, rotten things, misery, violence, blood, .. Last time I got confronted with blood. I could never see blood. If I see to much of it I fall unconscious. So in my last trip I drowned in a sea of thick blood. It really wasn’t that bad because I am pretty good at letting go. Although I don’t want to speak to soon because at some point I will get my hands on 5meo . But why do we need to face our fears to awaken? My thoughts on this so far. What I fear I reject. What I reject I make different from me. What I make different from me builds dualities and my sense of self. To reach nonduality I have to deconstruct all distinctions between "myself" and "not myself“. So I have to confront and accept what I fear to break the dualities to become One again. Is it that simple? It’s not unimaginable but still hard for me to imagine that for example my fear of roller coaster stops me from realizing god. And also could it be more of a temporary thing on a psychedelic trip? Like you confront all of your fears in that moment to reach the peak experience but when you come back to ordinary life you still have your everyday fears?

So does this mean in practice that I have to go through all of my pity human fears or should I just focus on death instead? What do you mean with a wall of FEAR? I don’t know if that thought has occurred to me. A state of complete surrender to the universe yes, but given that my ego has a grasp of it, I am probably bullshitting myself with a fake version of it.

I like that order a lot more ?

This happened quite a few times already. I feel like I am just about to break through to something big and beautiful. I could feel the realness, the knock out power, the incredible beauty of some kind of force right on the tip of my tongue to become reality but then it was just quite not enough that I could fall into it and my awareness goes to something else. What I know for absolute certainty is that these incredible states are real although I didn’t even enter them. So I am a bit confused on why I can know that they are real if I haven’t entered them yet. Also has anyone similar experiences and knows how much one needs to up the dose to break through?

@amanen thanks for sharing. What do you mean?

I didn’t anticipate coming to the anticipation of having a spiritual experience ? So I guess if I am breaking through I won’t anticipate it as well. Yeah I do that quite often. I feel like it will get me somewhere at some point. How has it helped you?

Love isn’t about being nice and soft all the time. Of course it’s also that but it’s also about being hard when you have to be. If you love yourself you would want to protect yourself and even if you love these other people you would want to be hard to them because otherwise they learn that they can get away with manipulative shit and wont grow. That’s hard to except as a soft person. It certainly is for me. Edit: If this is a recurring struggle for you you might want to go to the gym and build some muscle. You don’t have to become huge, just being better build then your normie is an easy way to gain some respect and it’s also healthy.

Yeah automatically through trial and error, that makes sense. Language is a symbolic representation of reality. If we hear the word cat every time we see an actual cat we will connect the dots at some point unconsciously. But words like "therefore, but, ..“ are a bit more complicated. They seem to represent energetic movements. Damn that whole topic is a lot deeper then I thought. I am German and learned English through YouTube videos btw. Before that I always sucked at english because I was unable to learn vocabularies. But by just watching yt videos in english I learned it without much conscious effort although my english could still be better.

I experienced a baby version of it on magic truffles. My consciousness just wanted to be insane for a while so I didn’t fight it and went insane for a few minutes. Of course I didn’t know how long I would stay insane. It was a bit terrifying but also relieving. When I went uninsane I realized how much energy I put into being sane.

Only Hydrogenated/ refined oils is "objectively unhealthy“. @Michael569 said it perfectly, if you have a healthy diet as a base and don’t have any allergies against any of these foods you can eat all of them lol. Worry more about what you can add to your diet rather then what you should take out.

I got them at a turkish food store in Germany. They have a light sweetness and super nice crunchy like mouth feeling to it.

Forgot about that one ☝️

Not the undried versions.

So you have a handsome face and not good looking hair. yeah touching the hair on the head when it’s that short is super exciting ? yes Don’t agree.

I see unattractive and overweight people all day and never judged them or thought anything of it really but I did recognize that they will have problems attracting other people.

It’s not like you are doomed when you are balding and women also have different taste but in general it takes a decent chunk away from your attractiveness. ?? I heard women talk about it often. Given that you shave all or almost all of your hair off since 2019 maybe women don’t talk about it to you because they feel like they would offend you.

No what I meant to say is that balding is unattractive. (doesnt mean you are unattractive, you can make up with other traits) So super short hair or long hair doesn’t really matter as long as you can see that you aren’t balding.

But you don’t shave it so much that it looks like you are bald right? That makes all the difference.

Yeah you do too much. As a beginner you will get optimal results if you do just enough. If you do much more effort you won’t get more gains, you will actually get less. The first two years of me working out (I was 15) I did like 30 sets of chest and back per week always beyond fatigue and a bit of biceps and triceps. I made some gains but really nothing significant. Then I asked a personal trainer for advice. He put me on 3 times per week full body training where I always rotated between training A and training B. Day A: 3x squats, 3x bench press, 3x rows and Day B: 3x deadlift, 3x Overhead press, 3x, 3x pull ups. And he said that I should up my calories and protein. Idk how much of an effect increased calories but I blew up in size in a few months. It was way more significant then what I archieved in the last two years of working my ass off. Can highly recommended this YouTube channel if you look for quality information around training and diet.

Little note I wrote yesterday which fits here: The gym got my little safe place. I feel more comfortable there then in my own home. Sometimes I do little unobstrusive dances after sets for fun. It further developed in the past days. I wasn’t just dancing a little for my own entertaining, my inner being got carried away also for just a second. I threw my head back and then flirted with myself in a playful way in the mirror. Authentically playful, dramatic, strange, whacky, beautiful, loving. It was a brief moment into something I always did as a child. Like a short second my inner authentic being stretched all the way out and I remembered that that’s how I survived being lonely and rejected as a child. I developed an inner joy for myself that was so beautiful that it provided me energy to take on pretty much any challenge. I often hummed myself to that place as well. I saw people around me looking strange at me and I feared to stay authentic and crawled into my shell again.

For how long have you been working out? If you just start your whole body will be wrecked like crazy after a bit of work. Haha I miss that feeling. You might overtrain. You could reduce the load which would reduce fatigue and stimulus (still enough if you are a beginner) and you could still improve your technique.

Crying happens spontaneously at least for me. When I am beautifully gripped by a thought on how I could change the world for the better for example. But then it’s often at a public space and I am not comfortable crying there. At home I can try to get into the mood with something beautifully sad but it’s never as good as when it happens spontaneously and tears aren’t guaranteed. But I feel like you can get better at it with practice.