Jannes

Interestingly this new habit makes my mind a bit fresh though. Could also be that its something new and gets me out of my house. I think this is the perfect moment to finally read through this journal.

I also had muscle soreness from training my legs yesterday.. I am also a bit of a crybaby though, never would have thought that fitness would be something I would struggle with. I got pretty comfortable.

I went to bed a good hour earlier yesterday but got out of bed half an hour later then yesterday. I really didnt want to go to the gym today, honestly I was contemplating if I want to quit right there, but I was feeling a jog a bit so I went with that. But it was already nearly noon, I wasnt like an early bird where it would be acceptable to go out unshowered, so I did some basics. I need a cap or something for these instances, for some reason I was overly aware of that fact. It was so hot outside and bright outside. The first few meters jogging felt healthy and fire but then it sucked, I never had fun doing jogs anyway. Did some pushups and pullups at a park and went home. If I dont even get energy from this today I really dont know what the point of it is.

More holistic love eventually wins.

I think an incel is either never getting laid in a year or he has a phase in a relationship where he gets laid more often.

@Hardkill I have seen a women use a guy for sex and orgasms who wants more emotionally but she rejects him on that level. THAT and lighter version of that I experienced are the biggest mindfuck.

The opposite is also kinda true.

The problem of this gym morning routine is that it is strongly associated with this productivity, self-improvement mindset. Sure its also a bit of that, but moreso an artistic and conscious way of designing your life. I did go to the gym for self improvement etc. for so long, maybe thats why I get a bit of that taste, or maybe I am just expecting too much. Only on Friday is there a Yoga course in the morning, not sure if its possible to do Yoga elsewhere every morning.

Fell into a bit of a coma. I hope I GET energy from this morning routine at some point lol.

On the Discord server they have a remote viewing target of the week which I did. They did this since april 2022, so I have a lot of material to practice with. I wouldnt call my session sucessfull. If I got access to all the techniques my process would be faster, but I first want to find out if its possible or not.

I like to get a kick out the pure sound of songs in a different language even if I dont understand what it says. Well this is the opposite here, the focus is on the lyrics which are deep and beautiful but luckily there is a translation in the video.

Most guys are invisible to girls though so they first have to make themselves visible.

Went about 1,5 hours earlier to bed then usual. I woke up around 1,5 hours earlier as well. I used this opportunity to go the gym. It wasnt like super early but relatively early so I expected the gym to be pretty empty sparingly filled with elderly and a few unshowered individuals like myself but it felt like boom time, way more chicas then late at night when I usually go and all fresh -- how embarassing. But yeah I wanted to get into some sort of routine like this again because the good life always felt like it had waking up early and a fitness routine in the morning for me. I can already cross some points in this list. But the real game changer would be actually making money from remote viewing if it works, so I am kinda putting the horse before the cart but also not entirely because that routine seems healthy independently if I archieve remote viewing money or not but it would especially fit into a personally tailored routine which remote viewing work would allow me to follow of course.

Even better. Now that I think about it, when I munch on sweet peaches as a snack I probably get much of my sweetness cravings satiated right there. Do you still crave any junk sometimes?

Just watched Star Wars - stories of the underworld. The story with ventress is a bit cheesy, its okay but not really good. The first episode of the Bane story was cool, the rest not really. Bane is just such a one sided character, just a total douche.

Well you gotta work with what you have got. I would imagine social circle still gives you the best chances to find someone, but I am not in your shoes. With adhd I am surprisingly successful at speed dating, I should spent more time doing that.

Depends on the friend group, of course a group of sweaty gamer hanging out at home isnt doing anything for you. If the group is mixed gendered, bigger, you actually go out and do stuff together then its likely that something happens at some point..

Goal of today is to go to bed early!

Yeah exactly!

What a beautiful drawing. But here is what it entails, me wanting closeness but at the same time I can only tolerate this closeness when I push people away. Obviously a double standard, any person with healthy attatchment will leave this abuse. I had this image in my mind a year or so ago but I never really wanted to express it, because it was too painful. More honesty!!! I might have worked through it to some degree, but I dont think that the tendencies are just going to vanish like this. edit: Need to make some space on my computer, then I will upload.

Its not always the case though. At least in my theatre club genuine connection was possible at some points, I just stopped because of my moral inner compass.

This was a painfully honest observation, but this is exactly what I came back to again and again. I want to be more and more honest with myself.

I was noticing a bit of a pattern. This one very honest observation is a good suspension point. Whenever people try to built a connection with me I feel like I am fainting. Its like I never really learned to make space for that or something. It feels so uncomfortable, I want to jump out of my skin, GET AWAY FROM ME!! Like I want it desperately but I cant take it in at all. Why not? Is it trauma?

I think social circle game is like the most natural game there is. You hang out with friends and things just happen organically. Or is there something more to it? Building a social circle takes time though.

There is a big reddit RV community and I read through all the instruction and also made a quick session myself. I also joined a RV discord server, which apperently allows for people to find training partners, get free weekly targets and so on.. This is relevant for two reasons: 1) I may not need some of the instruction material if I can find it on the Discord server, 2) It gives me more confidence that remote viewing works. And of course the learning process I make will shorten my formal training where I get my contracts from. If I learn this gansta style though, maybe I wont ever learn it the 'correct way'. I thought myself how to play table tennis, but actually its pretty good, its no problem that the technique isnt perfect and I can stand up to quite talented players so no worries from this analogy.