Jannes

You are missing like 70% of the other muscles. No lower body, no back, no delts. But I believe that you look better then 70% of society because most dont work out at all.

Yeah I do the same. Just a 2-3 hour session once a week and I can keep my gains. damn <3

I learned that a muscular body doesnt give me inner confidence. I learned that there is deeper charm I can develop that far outshines muscles. I learned that looking good doesnt make me happy. I actually suffered a lot from it. Having a wrong body image, overly strict eating habits, missing out on experiences because I was so focused on the gym. I learned that the gym is not enough to fix all problems. I went to the gym in my worst times in life. Times I want to shake off. I lied to myself. But I saw the lie years ago so I am not discovering anything new to be shocked about. I am simply at a point of clearity where I want to reflect on this issue consciously. Still going to the gym makes pragmatic sense. But deep down I run on passion and romance I am not that much of a pragmatic person. I dont know if I convince myself with this. Doing something half hearted is painful. I need to reinvent my relationship to the gym. I could definitely wear a cooler outfit. Buy cool booster which motivate me. These are small motivators. Maybe that's enough. It would be best to find a higher value I do it for. Maybe these are some lines I can use on myself. "Going to the gym makes me feel good." "Going to the gym gives me structure I can built on." "Going to the gym help me built discipline I can use for all other aspects of life."

@at_anchor Are you a men or a women? How old are you? Regardless you should socialize more. If your social circle isnt that big or doesnt allow for much new opportunities join some social group.

You are right I said that. I guess I am a bit emotional about this. Maybe I put a ton of artificial meaning into the gym and this is collapsing a bit which makes me emotional. Maybe I have to reinvent my relationship to the gym in a new way.

A muscular built gives me confidence (I feel insecure physically without muscle as I get bullied a lot) its attractive and I really like my body as well, its super healthy (I will have a functional body when I am older) and will help with a lot of disease prevention, its the easiest and safest way to stay in shape. So basically lots of plus it's just not so fun. Like brushing teeth.

The frequency doesnt really change the quality of the training I think. It's simply that I found more rewarding things so I want to keep it at once a week.

Gave asperger syndrome a little read. Could be a mild form of it because many aspects aren't true for me. Like I can be very charismatic, I can speak in front of people etc. I still have huge problems connecting to other people though. When I was socially overwhelmed in mid school I sometimes walked around with my hands hanging in front of me like the Alien Roger Smith from American Dad. That Alien made more sense to me than humans and by mimicking the posture I felt closer to Roger. 👽

I am not familiar with that sort of terminology. Are you saying that having certain natural skills/ attributes can come with the cost of clumsiness and similar things? I have very small toes especially my small toe is proportionally even smaller to average. My doctor said it's definitely outside the norm. What is histamine related?

Things have improved a bit. When I am very social in my free time I become more confident in my teaching so that's great. I slipped up slightly yesterday. I became angry at a student and my anger almost broke out uncontrolled. My face became kind of solidified for a second and I needed to catch myself. The student didn't really notice it just two student across saw the situation and quietly died from laughter. I quietly laughed as well because I was so surprised by myself.

For 4 weeks now I work 5 hours a week at a middle school and teach students philosophy from grade 5 to 8. From my own experience I know that this is the toughest time to be a teacher. I never taught other classes before or was leading a camp or anything so this is cold water for me and I got some pretty though classes as well. The way many other teacher get their class under control is by extreme discipline. In most classes they can't even drink in class. For me this is absurd, I want to treat them like humans. I became louder and louder and felt like I was screaming and the other students still just asked me why I was so quiet and honestly told me that they dont understand that they should be more quit if I am not more strictly. I am usually a very appreciative and calm person and when I would become more strict I fear that I would loose these feats and become just another horror teacher. But on the other hand, if I am not more strict the class is bad for my students as well. The ones that want to do the work can't do it when its too loud, so its a lot more loving on my end to be more strict. But it becomes very primal. I listened to two old female teacher in the classroom talking how when lion cubs misbehave they get bitten in the ear. And that you naturally integrate the strictness through your life support instincts. It's so weird. I went in there with a bit of a feeling that this is civilization, but it's more like a place where civilization takes place.

@Spence94 Thanks for sharing! I read your comment right when you wrote it. I just didn't respond yet for some reason.

@undeather Thanks a lot for your comment. I always thought intuitively that these traumatic/ emotional issues are the reason for my cognitive problems but it didn't make logical sense to me.

If that's the case I may find that on a brain scan and I would be happy to find out how I am "neuro-atypical".

True, but compared to my folks I was always a special case in that regard.

To see if any parts of my brain are less developed, damaged, etc. If I understand my problem better I can potentially heal/ work on it or even at worst I clearly know where my restrictions are so I can better navigate myself through life.

The total and its individual parts: Hegel: "The total is more than the total of all individual parts." A painting is not the total of all individual strokes. In the paintings there are no strokes, the painting is its own quality where the strokes go under and loose their individuality. When we look at the strokes themselves the painting looses its being. Now the universe might be something like that. It might be looked at a total but then all the individual parts loose their individuality. But when we look at all the individual parts, the total of the universe looses its meaning. A cell is a total of molecules. An organism is a total of cells. A polulation is a total of organism. ... the universe is a total of ... We have a set point in that hierarchy. To understand the world or the universe we might have to change ourselves because we need to be higher on the hierarchy but a perfect understanding would mean that we would loose all of our individuality.

The perfect world of ideas: First scribbled approach In our everyday life we always condemn things as good or bad, as stupid or intelligent, as more or less adequate. I recently had to read about the mechanism of trauma and had a debate with my parents about if trauma is basically a perfect mechanism or if it has flaws. In my opinion the trauma mechanism is absolutely perfect. When a psychological overwhelming experience takes place our psyche makes defense mechanisms so our psyche won't take damage/ so that we can take action. The negative experience is getting pressed into the unconscious. When the danger is over the experience comes back up to be resolved. Thats a perfect mechanism imo. In my parents opinion trauma is bad because it stops us from archieving our goals and it is something that needs to be confronted. Of course I didn't disagree with this statement with my previous statement it's simply a different lense of looking at something. One in a personal kind of way and one in an objective distanced kind of way and these different ways of looking at something give or take away meaning from something. In this distanced objective way of looking at trauma I could only see perfection, in the personal kind of way I could only see helpful or flaws. One is wrapped around the content of what is happening, the other around the idea behind it. "You fucking asshole", the content of that can of course be judged, but the mechanisms behind it might be perfectly reasonable. Maybe the person saying that needed to express their frustration in such a crude way, to relieve their psyche for a moment. When we judge something we basically judge its limitations. We say, why aren't you less limited? Can it be possible that there is a perfect world when we see things as bad? Yes because us seeing things as bad is part of also just a perfectly adjusted mechanism with an intelligent function.

There are so many scenes in the Witcher series which underline what I think true masculinity is. Both Geralt and actually Jaskier bring different aspects of masculinity in there. This scenes shows what true strength is. "Having power but choosing not to use it unless it's absolutely necessary." I like Jaskier for his strength in his vision and mind. Despite the lack of love and morality all around him his own intuition of what the world could and should be like is strong enough to not be destroyed. He even takes on life risks in pursuing that.

Good. I would add liquid food like shakes (self made with "banana, peanut butter, banana, dried dates" for example). And for carbs it's very individual for how much satiety you get for the amount of calories. Some people get more satiety from rice then from whole grain pasta, for other people it's the other way around. So experiment and choose crab sources which you can eat a lot of.

If you live minimalistic you can definitely effort living in a bigger city and you dont need to work full time. You could also join some kind of organization/ club you are interested in. Getting a girlfriends through the friends route is much easier.

@StarStruck "Its right that you are wrong about being right!"

There are many aspects which contribute to intelligence. If you nail all of them that's very rare and something really special comes out of that. I think for Leo its his genetic potential (probably high iq), his independent thinking which shaped his thoughts over the decades, his interest in truth which made him a lot less biased, psychedelics, his environment (relatively safe I think and little socializing).

Yeah that's what I need at the moment. Deep meaningful relationships come after I am done with the shallow stuff.

I like the idea of polyamorous and open relationships a lot and wanted to try these out at some point. But I never was in a relationship because I have problems with opening up to other people. A friend of mine recently opened her relationship and I could join the "gang". I kind of dislike the idea because I am emotionally really fragile so I feel like I need someone to ground me in my first relationship who is always there for me and where some mistakes can be forgiven. Yet on the other hand when I start with a polyamorous relationship then I might lay a completely different foundation of relationships from the start. I could learn from the start what makes a good relationship and what not because I am at the heart of competition. Just like you can only learn game in field and build character in the boxing ring because that's where it gets to the core. And I could also learn to live in a polyamorous way from the start. The transition from monogamous to polyamorous could be hard. I have got plenty of charm and am very good looking so I dont think I would get easily outcompeted if that's something something to bother about. I need some advice from some experienced folks here.