Jannes

I saw in a recent video of Leo, idk know which it is possibly what is maturity? that general basic income will make people self actualize because lower needs will be almost guaranteed to be met and so the human psyche will then focus on self actualization. Now I see this video from Leo seems to directly contradict this: (1:25:10 to 1:34:50) What's the meta thing going on here? How I see it: Difficult survival situation will make people strongly animalistically driven yet shuts them down for higher/ spiritual dimensions of life. Easy survival situations will make people strive for very high goals but takes away the animalistic drive/ will make people spoiled so they aren't motivated enough to do hard work. So I think it's a balance and there are trade offs. Questions that arise to me are "Is society ready for general basic income?" so in other words, can society run on the drive of self actualization or does society need more of an animalistic drive? Also what's the best crosser to keep both an incentive for the animalistic drive if that is needed but also that people start actualize.

Nightgame Day06 ( The most fascinating thing was not the night itself but the inner talk before that. A felt a lot of movement the days before and it manifested in new empowering thoughts about myself. For one there was one person that was a complete tyrant to me. I new his motivation though and so even though I felt deep anger for him I repressed and pushed it away, justifying the situation. I have a problem standing up for myself. I don’t think it’s really because I repress anger itself but because I have deep ass childhood trauma when it comes to not feeling accepted. And that’s why I often don’t stand up for myself because when I do I risk rejection and possible belonging and so I let a lot of people walk over me. But the last Nightgame Days improved my confidence in connecting with other people and after I stayed up all night not getting shit done because of my monkey mind I finally accepted that I just couldn’t forgive that guy. I knew why he was doing what he was doing, I knew that he didn’t just want to attack me for no reason and I knew that some of it were my fault and that I caused a lot of suffering but I tried my fucking best and I suffered to the bone in an attempt to not emotionally hurt anybody I just wasn’t strong enough. I don’t deserve that tyranny, I can’t forgive him. Even though I was mostly friendly, even hugged him I paddle back. I can’t forgive him, I just can’t. And I felt a lot more at ease after that. I managed to process a deep wounding crush. I always try to impress other people so hard. It’s like I don’t think I can ask somebody out before first demonstrating a backflip to them. I reject so much positive feedback because I can’t believe it to be true. But what if I was already good enough and that I don’t need to do any fancy techniques, just be myself? ) So I was super tired. Only slept for 4 hours at home and maybe one at the train. But I already skipped a day I didn’t want to step another one for sure. So I drank 160mg of caffeine to get going. I looked for a new club. Took me two full hours of running in circles to finally arrive at one club that I selected because there was only a small half open door opening the club. I actually felt confident or at least more confident then before for once. I was first a bit shocked at the club. Everyone was dressed in black or shirtless or in punk style. I wore a black shirt with pink flamingos on it. I looked fine and gay as fuck. Cool look but it didn’t fit the dress code at all and I didn’t had backup options. I could have gone shirtless but I figured I don’t know the club well enough, maybe it triggers people to start a fight but more importantly I don’t think it is particularly great to approach women half naked. So I wore it but open. The club and music was okay. I felt more confident in my dancing. Somehow I always felt a little ashamed of my dancing before, this time I danced with more confidence. I looked around the club. It had two dance floors many chill areas and some dark places where you could potentially make out. There were a guy and girl sitting on a couch with an empty couch across them. I sat down and started a chat. The chat went pretty casually but the girl asked me within the first two minutes for my phone number. She looked good. She made clear pretty directly that she wanted something from me. She said that she broke up with her boyfriend two weeks ago and that they were together for 4 years and when I said that I was going to drive home tomorrow morning if I didn’t find a stay she stayed that I could come with them to the hotel. I was a little overrun by it, first because I didn’t yet checked the relationship situation she had with the guy (they are friends) and second because it was so directly without much built up and I needed more time to process the situation. She just said I know good guys when I see them. The talk was okay I was simply to tired to make anything good out of it. I learned that I should also talk to other member of the group so I tried to split like 50 50 and talked with the guy also. He was pretty chatty and I kind of lost the connection with the girl. She already gave so much, giving the guy so much attention must have felt like a rejection for her. The guy was pretty chill. He said that he knows people really well and is very sure that I am a good guy who probably has issues getting exploited. And also said that if anyone wants to harm her he will find them and break their bones but if I want something good for her he would even help me get with her. Somehow I had a hard time believing the situation, it just went way to quickly. I tried to get back at her but then we started dancing we were kind of in our own world each and the rejection had enough time to set I felt like. I walked with them some more. Tried to start a conversation again to get the vibe back which was really hard after the vibe got so low and I think the found my attempts a bit funny. She had a sister with her and I started a little chat. I trusted myself to get a good chat going because I know my abilities but it was only generic. The problem wasn’t even really my confidence it was simply the sleepiness. I didn’t feel like I was really wanted in the group anymore, at least from her. At the bar she went to a different place to sit there. I interpreted it as uninterest, maybe in hindsight it was also a shittest to look if I am actually interested. I felt like this whole situation got a little cringe and out of hand. Maybe it was possible to get something out of it but I didn’t feel good anymore and I feel like part of inner game is to be not so attatched to anything and I could also just look for other opportunities also so I went to a different dance floor. I found out for myself that I am often in my own world when dancing but actually the trick is to connect very deeply with the beat. It’s kind of meditative and refreshing and therefore empowering. Around an hour later I found them leaving. I gave the girl a bit of a warm, sad, tired look. She said we probably won’t see each other again. Gave her a hug. We waited a little for the guy in silence. He gave me a very strong handshake. Looked to the girl with an even stronger warm, sad, tired look and she came to me and gave me another hug. Me: maybe we can party another time. She: Yeah! There was a bit of derp love floating in the air. Left the club shortly after that as well. I contemplated on if I should try to get to the hotel with the girl. I did not want to buy a stay there however and I wouldn’t ask to get in the same room with her cause I learned asking for sex is creepy as fuck and we didn’t built up sexual tension yet at all. If I want something with her I think it’s best to text her the next day or a day after that. Best reasoning for the moment. Time to get some sleep, might add something later! Thinking what I can do with that number. I think I struggled because I didn't know what I actually want from the girl. 2 weeks after a 4 year relationship is to close and she seemed to want a relationship from me which I am not ready for, I want to learn game.

@mmKay @Leo Gura thanks you guys, means a lot to me! You have a journal mmKay? 2 nights a week sounds plenty if you do it consistently. edit: Oh you have one, giving it a read right now.

In my eyes the end goal of game is to be as authentic as you can possibly be. The problem is that people fear being their authentic self because they fear that their authentic self is being rejected. Psychedelic put me in a state where I am naturally more authentic because I have less of a personal grip on my behavior and I am at a higher state of self love and acceptance which allows for more action because I could catch myself more easily with that added self love. So this improved behavior is good by itself but I can also take the feedback which I definitely got conscious of and integrate it which makes me learn that its okay to be my authentic self and that my authentic self is magnetic. I even think that if you would say that you are scared as fuck, completely authentically and with a lot of self love that that would be proper game.

It's just a microdose bro. I haven taken 20x that amount and didn't wake up to my true nature yet.

Yeah I think that's a good way to describe it although it's hard to verbalize the psychedelic state. More incredible subtle things can open up to you for sure and the denseness of many elements in your mind loosens up because it gets recontextualized by being made more conscious. Fear for example becomes less personal, so the state is not really, "I have fear" to why "I have fear because...". I might have to look more into the science of psychedelic therapy. People use it to change their behavior so it probably has at least decent use. hmm yeah. The solution is intensive self love probably. I always think that hypothetically a person who watches porn, doesnt socialize and has a shitty job would still be socially magnetic if that person would stay in an intense state of self love.

Yeah I get that. In my case seeing how much anxiety I had socializing wasn't a bad thing, I needed to see that for my development.

I dont think it's so straight forward. Psychedelics can have great healing effects. Some people heal deep social anxiety with one trip of MDMA. It depends on the drug. Yeah doing alcohol won't make you confident but on psychedelics you are actually aware of what happens. The action you took and the effect it got, you were actually hyper conscious of that.

good question actually I dont know. What I can say is that I took more action then other times when sober when I didn't have that amount of fear (aware of it or not).

What I find interesting is that AI art is consistently terrible unless you have a vision and put some real thought into it. I think that's how it is at least. What is that you know, that intuition which AI doesnt seem to have.

Nightgame Day05 I was tired as always but not knock out tired. Looked for a new club to go to. I packed a big psylocibin dose this time trying to see how it would affect me. Took it a few minutes before the club, so the affect would kick in around when I would enter. It kicked in pretty much immediately though. There was a huge line outside. Behind me a group of 3 girls. I knew that you had to built up state before going to the club so that was a great opportunity to get going. I was anxious as hell though. I think I was anxious because I put so much pressure on myself from the success from last Nightgame and the psylocibin increased my anxiety. But here is the kicker. Even though I was standing in my anxiety the whole time with psylocibin I did everything perfectly appropriately and not the anxiety control me. Normally when you are in fear you act stupid, cringe, awkward, whatever but not with psylocibin. (At least in this case for me) I made the right approach, the right talk, interpreted the social behaviour well while standing to the throat in fear. And yes you could notice that when I stuttered slightly, or maybe misused a word or something like that so yes my anxiety was full on noticeable but my behaviour was rock solid despite that. I came up with better ideas for conversation stuttering then when I was in a sober I don’t give a shit state. It’s so incredible. And I was so goddamn sweet. Psylocibin makes me highly empathetic. And it connects me deeply with my body which I heard many times is key. Psylocibin + confidence will be a league of its own for me. At the end neither me or the girls got in. They let in like 10%. I asked the girl what they are up to. They replied we just go home. I asked, can I come with you. She replied: We are going to sleep now. I said: Okay have a good night. Super natural and fluent. I just asked to fuck them in a super casual way lol. So I looked for another club. I went to the club I went the first night, now for the third time. On the way I saw two girls in white which I found later in the club. They sat on a couch. I knew my verbal game was far better so I approached them. Can I sit next to you? Yeah sure. We had a great 5min talk. Then a guy came in interrupting us. Saying can I sit between you two? I thought he was her boyfriend so I left. He chatted to me a moment later that I can try to dance with them no problem and that he isn’t their boyfriend. Danced a little with the girls. They told me that the guy way overdoes his job. He is only a friend and wants to protect them. The guy was around us dancing as well. The problem was that I didn’t know how to open and second it was double cringe with this guy around. He seemed like a friendly guy but like a conservative dad who would kick away every attractor of their teenage daughter. (As a reference, they were both 18). The vibe died a little when dancing. I seemed to have done a very great opener because these girls stayed with me a good time and exchanging friendly smiles even though I delivered nothing on the dance floor. Some guys talked to me saying that I should grab the girls already, it’s painful to see what I am doing. But I had no clue what to do. They said you should just do it in a I don’t give a fuck sort of way and that girls love these guys. I made that experience also. But it’s a mix of fear of rejection because I don’t have the skillset to do so when I pull a girl towards me hard but also ethically I don’t see it as clean to get into a girls privacy like that. I feel like in Clubs the attraction part is often at the dance floor and the comforting part is often at the outside or chill area. So I need to be able to handle myself at the dance floor. Even though I kind of like my own dance style I don’t really own it. It’s a mix that I made up myself and I get so much laughs about it all the time I am not confident in it anymore. So I need to learn new dance moves. The protector guy actually had fantastic dance moves. Nothing to complicated but super chill and confident looking. The two girls in white left and I was kind of exhausted after that. Took 20min outside refreshing. There wasn’t much time anymore so I just danced for an extra 30min collecting as many impressions as I could for future. Was proud of myself for the work that I put in.

Psychedelics are consciousness.

Or maybe some psychedelic microdoses which also make you more creative/ conscious which can help you with existential questions actually.

I have a weakness for niceness. I worked for many years getting niceness out of my system but there is still a lot left. The problem is you need a personality that gets your meets met. If you can't survive being not nice you won't do it. So it seems you need a lot of power and skill in getting your meets met if you have the disadvantage of not using nice guy manipulations. My ability to attract girls recently got a good bump and I instantly noticed how much more authentic and disagreeable I became.

What a weird metaphysic about health. I dont see that and I also dont see how animal products and sugar dont make you satisfied. If I would put my intuition of the general healthy eating metaphysics into words it would be something like this - Everything that overloads you is bad: sugar, fatty meat - Everything that is tender on you is good: fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes, nuts, some animal products

Nightgame Day4: (holy shit) I met a girl and a guy at the entrance of the club. They were super friendly and we instantly formed a group. The girl asked me what kind of girls I want and then selected some for me. I wanted to impress her so I approached a group of people with two hot girls in the group. Started a little chat and asked both of the girls for their number. They both had a girlfriend. But it was super chill. The girl and guy were super impressed and couldn’t wait to challenge me more. They got me to approach another girl I didn’t even really like. Short chat and I got her number. The girl was so into me. She had a boyfriend but constantly asked me if I would take her as an option. She was super sexual with me and was always wrestling with not cheating with her boyfriend. She straight up told me, if she wasn’t in a relationship we would bang right here on the toilet. That got me in such a mood. Outside of the toilet there were two girls and my friend just pushed me a little into them and I immediately started a super good conversation and got another number. Outside I saw a girl with a super hot body and approached her and got her number. Shortly after that I saw two attractive girls standing and I approached them easily at this point. Got the number of the hotter one. We went dancing. Couldn’t find my friends. Found the girl with the super hot body again. Asked her if she wants to go to the dance club. We made out. I grapped her waist and asked if I can touch her ass to which she agreed. Had a 1min kiss and a lot of ass grabbing. She then told me that she was there with her sister and that she promised the night was about her and that now she has to go and apologize to her friend but that I should call her again. Found my friends again. Danced a little. It wasn’t as physical and I lost a little of my vibe. There was a girl that I talked to, got her number and we kissed a little and [she made me touch her tits.*] We couldn’t talk inside so I asked them if they want to go outside with me. We chatted a little and a random ass dude interrupted the talk. Then they went back dancing saying bye. I got back in found my peers, danced a little longer found the girl from right before again. I danced a little more with them. Her female friend gave a kill sign on the throat and I didn’t know what it was directed to. Maybe me so I built distance. More about that later. Near my peers I found some girl dancing with her friends and she seemed to know me. Well she started chatting a bit. It was very confusing to me. Maybe I talked to her indirectly when I talked to another girl or maybe she knew me from another girl that talked about me. I talked to so many people I didnt really had a clue. But she seemed super party around me. I can’t really recall the situation but she constantly punched me in the belly, was also pretty sexy with me and one time said I should act as if I was so insecure. I went for a kiss but she rejected. Saying partying is good but no kissing. And said I was sweet. She went back to grab a beer twice and told me I should protect her friend which I did. I mean I really did feel like Superman that night so that wasn’t a problem for me. I was super confused about the situation in the end, so I just asked that I can’t really read the situation right now but would like to exchange numbers to which she replied sorry and kissed me on the cheek. I wandered around a little trying to look for some opportunities. Found a girl sitting on top of a podium with other people. I immediately jumped on and then off that thing because there was liquid on it. I still talked to the girl and she pushed me away harshly saying „not like that“. I was a little bumbed out because of that, as that was the first time I got a harsh rejection. But I didn’t really do anything wrong. My friends left. The girl said that she would instantly take me home if she were single and gave me a hug. I was looking for a way to sleep in Berlin so that I could continue to party so I ordered the numbers I got and asked a few of them if I can sleep there. 12min later a girl replied. „Meet me at the door. You can come.“ (let’s fuck?) I replied 8min later, okay cool be there in 5min but I didn’t found here and she didn’t text me anymore. (If a girl says she wants sex, don’t let her wait?) Then I saw another girl I got the number from which was by far the most sexiest. She was there with another guy and I thought he might be her boyfriend. But they both went into the building and two of her friends stayed there. I went to them and asked them if the girl is in a relationship. They said no and that she is in the building and something. I went in, she was about to take her items back. I said hey, then slightly touched her elbow to get her attention. She gave me a short mustering view and then straight ignored me completely. Don’t know what I did wrong tbh. Later I thought about that. [she made me touch her tits.*] Maybe she didn’t actually. She placed her hands directly on her tits when I recall directly so I assumed she wanted that but maybe not. It could explain the behaviour of her friend. I might have really fucked that up and didn’t even know it. I am super scared to get a rape charge or anything holy shit.

@CARDOZZO Yeah it doesnt develop you at all.

It's a waste of time for people with even high average looks. You need good looks for some matches and great looks for success on tinder. So for the vast majority of people approaching or social circle is the way to go. Although I have to admit that I got my first lay on tinder which was crucial. I would say I have good looks. So if you dont have game or social circle its at least something.

Nightgame Day3 I did some research. Notably a video from Owen Cook where he show Nightgame. Many things from my nightgames before became more transparent to me. 1) Girls want to be wanted 2) Some girls are interested but want to be conquered 3) There is a whole game paradigm of attraction which you are blind to if you never go to clubs. 4) State is key 5) Building state before going to the club is part of good game. 6) positive people around you which guide you make things 3x easier. Even though I had new knowledge in mind, which made me a bit motivated, it was harder this time to get in the mood then the days prior. I visited the same club as first time. Because I spent so much time looking for a club and talking to so many people on the way and also having the thrill of this new adventure and also not pressuring myself so much with results I was in a better state then on this third night. I spent almost two hours dancing on my own, not taking action and killing my state. When I felt that I needed to do a break to regain state I went to the outside area and asked a stranger if I can sit next to them. A decent looking chick. I just started a conversation in hopes for some small talk to built myself back up. I talked about my mission and my struggles and my talking skills aren’t bad. The girl told me her situation being for three weeks in Berlin and also feeling kind of lost in the club. We went dancing together. The vibe wasn’t great, I wasn’t feeling it really. In a Team effort we didn’t let the vibe drown but it wasn’t great. We went to get some fresh air again, chatted and then came back dancing. She went to the toilet and I wondered around a bit. A girl got really flirty with me and I got physical. I touched her hips and her booty. She let me press my dick against her ass. I got alive. I asked her if I could kiss her. She didn’t understand. I got close to her and tried to go for a kiss with around 80% of the distance. She refused. The vibe stayed fun. I was so in the mood. I screamed her in the ear, I want to kiss you already and went for it again but she refused. I didn’t feel any kind of anxiety really, I felt alive, just like a hunting animal for his hunt. A friend came in and closed her off from me. Cool I guess. Now I saw the girl from before again and she brought a guy with her, saying she found someone. The guy flirted with her, touched her hips, went for a kiss. The girl didn’t really like it but also didn’t give a straight no. She told me in the ear „what is happening right now“. I knew I should have stepped in, flirted with her, proven myself but first I wasn’t getting that flirty with her in the first place and I didn’t had the skill set. The guy asked me if everything is all right, decoding the mimic and further increased his dominance over me. I felt like the biggest beta on the planet. We then went outside for fresh air and some guy came in saying I should just let her go. They know each other and for the better of myself I should just let it be. I was a bit overwhelmed by this. First the whole situation and then how should I know about this guy. It’s possible that he really is a dangerous guy and that it was a good warning but I also didn’t want to not fight at all. I found a middle way. They were already sitting outside and I winked the guy outside. Cool that that walked. I talked about what I just heard and that I feel uncomfortable with this situation. The girl said she recently knew him from a dating app but that he didn’t text her for 2 days so… (I didn’t take action on that :/) I should have said this: I would like to leave the club with you if you want but I don’t want conflict with that guy, so either we leave together now or we split here. Well I just asked her for her phone number which I got and gave her a hug. After that a guy danced with me and we twerked ass on ass together for fun. Well I thought it was for fun but then he went straight for a kiss. I am (mostly) straight unfortunately. Was fun anyway. There were a few other girls that I could have danced with but the lack of eye contact was to much of a hurdle for me. The girl I got physical with was in a group with also the gay guy and they sat on a table. I approached that group of 4. Another girl blocked the entrance for the girl I got physical with. The girls left. I asked one of the guys if the girl I got physical with has a boyfriend and they said yes, it was just for fun. But I can take the gay guy if I want which I politely rejected. Then there was a guy who wanted to do speed or something with me which I also politely rejected. The club was almost empty. There were two girls sitting alone on a table. I pulled myself together for this last effort. „.. Hey“, „.. we both have a boyfriend.“ „Lucky for them, good night.“ Cool so that was the night. I got the girls number, what should I do with it. Am I already the beta. It’s not like a relationship I just want to have sex or maybe a place to sleep so I can party two days in a row.

I love that question. My thoughts on it: Well everything that manifests itself, manifests itself from opposites. Warm as the opposite of cold, strength as the opposite of weakness and life as the opposite of death. What you are basically asking is, "can there be black without white?" I think that question comes because language only captures framents of reality and not the whole. You can speak of parts of reality which make them see like independents fragments but actually they can't be splitted at all. Because black exists only in contrast of black and therefore implements it. So when you make that sentence more holistic you could say "can there be that (black) that arises from its opposite without its opposite?" Now that sentence seems foolish. The absolute nature of god is of course immortality. So a god awakened person knows about his immortality. But no ego can become immortal. Although deception is absolute truth. So an ego could deceive itself to be immortal and be absolutely right about that in a relative sense but not in an objective sense.

I love all ranges of psylocibin. Different microdoses all make a great social experience, the more the partier. Different small doses make me thoughtful and bring me in touch with my emotional state. It's great for self love. Mid doses are great for consciousness work. Big doses are great for mindfuckery.

You can buy lsd microdoses in pellets. Dont know if the lsd is evenly split up through the whole pellet though in case you wanna split it.

A microdose of Psylocibin is great for socializing imo.

@Leo Gura I always take half a microdose of lsd

Have a base of clean (unprocessed) food and allow yourself some junk to make is sustainable. I think there are two sides to unclean food. 1) It can hurt your health and 2) it can be an opportunity cost for healthy food because when you fill your calories with junk, you can't fill your calories with health food anymore. This becomes problematic when you dont get enough micronutrients in. So when you eat like 80% chips and skittles, it's not only that the saturated fats and the chemicals hurt you, the fact that you dont get enough vitamins is the way bigger problem. So I would focus on junk only causing you 1). For how much 1) hurts you I can't really say. Maybe a little. But dont you want to enjoy life as well? Well maybe the biggest joys come from actualizing and not junk food. Becoming obsessive about clean eating is a sickness though, you dont want that.