Jannes

This is hilarious. Will continue watching it tomorrow:

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf

I just remember a friend always liked stunlock me when he asked me a question which ended with " ... but what does it really mean?" I only noticed that when he showed that to a friend of mine.

This wasnt covered by any of my news sources. Is this a troll for clicks? I expect some of that. This is the source they quoted on Reddit, but I dont know if it is legit: https://www.justice.gov/multimedia/Court Records/Giuffre v. Maxwell, No. 115-cv-07433 (S.D.N.Y. 2015)/1332-16.pdf

Socializing and dating. So many girls in your age group are fuckable because everyone is still young and beautiful and you arent mature enough to understand how immature these girls are so you can get so much romance. And if you didnt have many friends before you can all built it up later, high school doesnt define you at all.

Its an ugly structure for white. A double pawn and non of them are connected. Still I think it would end in a victory for white.

@integral Black or white?

Oh yes he can. That leaves a 3 vs 2 Pawn endgame.

No the King cant catch the e6 pawn.

The bishop is protected by a pawn.

Yes the Bishop is on b3 on the original puzzle. I guess Joshe has edited it out for simplicity. Unless you find a clever sequence you will clearly loose an endgame with such a material disadvantage. The black Rook cant do it alone.

Not capturing the rook with the king leaves white with a crazy material advantage though. Black would only be left with a Rook and 2 Pawns vs a Rook, a Bishop and 4 Pawns.

Pawn to e6

Rook to a8 check forces King to g7 as the only move, Rook to a7 forces the King to move again. Blacks King moving to the 8th rank again would lead to repetition down the line and the King also cant close the distance to the Rook because when the King moves out of check in the 7th Rank the white Rook can just grap the black Rook so the King needs to go the the 6th Rank. Here g6 is vastly superior to h6 because Black still keeps the option of mate in 1 by not blocking its Rook in that position. White has 4 options to prevent this: 1) Exchanging Rooks on h7 2) Bishop to d5 3) Rook to a6 going for another check 4) Bishop to f7 checking the King .. Option 2) and 4) are nonsense Option 1) forces the Black King to take the White Rook. Taking the Bishop would lead to a loosing endgame (4 white pawns vs 2 black paws with a Rook remaining each). However then Black cant stop the Pawn from reaching the 8th rank. So thats a winning sequence. Option 3) is kind of messy as the Black King has many different escape routes. If white plays right, white can win off this material advantage though. I dont think I added anything new, just bringing together what was already said.

@integral still broken, you cant see the ranks

Black pressures check mate in 1 so white can only get out of the situation with continuely giving checks each turn. Rook to a8 forces King g7. Rook g8 forces King h6. Check Mate in 1 is prevented. ... Bichop to d1 blocks the Kings way out and pressures check mate in 2 with Rook to g6 the following turn. To prevent this black can only stall with moving the black pawn to g4, but that can be taken out with the Bishop. Black can also attempt to trade Rooks with Rook to g7 but that seals the fate as it blocks the kings way out for the finisher Rook to h8. Have I missed something?

Men my working memory is shit. I remember I could imagine some frequenes in my head back in the day, now its hard to imagine just a few steps if I dont see it directly in front of me. Its like I lost half my eyesight. Wtf happened to my brain.. Will try puzzles under different circumstances, with adhd medication, with body doubling and see if it has any effect.

Black pressures check mate in 1 so white can only get out of the situation with continuely giving checks each turn. Rook to a8 forces King g7. Rook g8 forces King h6. Check Mate in 1 is prevented. Does the puzzle continue?

From what I know Lesnar didnt have great charisma and acting though. His success in UFC is very unusal but comes from his actual wrestling background where he was very gifted at, not WWE.

When I came home I was like, now I want to play a Rom-Hack of Pkmn Soul Silver for some reason. Doing some chess puzzles now and getting back to my usual state.

So I actually drove to old old theatre club. I was pretty late though but in the last 10 minutes on my bike I realized that I had a good shot of actually making it in time so my body slowed down. I felt so overwhelmed emotionally and without any strategy on how to fight through it or gain control. I arrived basically a minute to late and the door was already closed. I dared to drive on the front yard and make a turn. Key insights are. When I was actually there and there seemed to be no going back, I actually didnt feel any anxiety anymore. And also a huge chunk of my personality was invested into this place. So when I left I cut this part of my personality out. I found myself being more playful at the grocerie store afterwards, much came back to the surface for a moment.

No post more newbie puzzles please.

I was in a f+ once with an obedient girl how you imagine it. I felt so lonely.

@Butters So you like to guide is what I am hearing?

Slept about 10 hours. I am in a constant state of emotional overwhelm. Would like to just not go to the old theatre club but that feels so wrong.