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Everything posted by lxlichael

  1. LAST POST FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR: RE-BUILDING BOTH COMMUNITIES FORUM OF ACTUALIZED DOT ORG AND ACTUALITY OF BEING A QUICK FINAL SUMMONS: FOR EVERYTHING ELSE I AM ENTRUSTING THE INTELLIGENCE IS THERE TO PICKUP THE REST. The following isn’t proof-read at all but I am sick of spelling everything out, stated with as much and truth as possible. I have barely lifted my finger for this post notice any wit used for example as I have simply lost all interest other than to briefly add a boost in morale in living of my previous comment as quoted just above. Simply heed this WARNING FIRST, if you think that there is any possibility that I won’t follow through here, you’re in a world of trouble as I’ve even entrusted two other people to pickup the slack here in the case that something happens to me. These two people are in my will by the way as they have been for the last three years if I die, so they’ll just use my cash because they know this is a cause that means a lot to and they’ll take extra care for me in their implementation of my laid out objectives as an act of love towards me in the event of my death. Haha, you have no idea. No idea what I’ve planned now. Don’t let my “haha” take away from the heart of this. DEADLINE: December 31st, 2023 Month to month evaluation of the average score for the rubric down below and or it’s equivalent. There is a heart in everything. I really hope that the moderators and administrators find the heart of both forums and explode it outwards as bright as the suns rays as it’s meant to, with the fullness of its intelligence that aligns with what should be the inherent truths of both forums being realised to their highest potential. With zero self-interest, as per what they have implicitly claimed to espouse (otherwise why are you a moderator pretending to hide behind the same values that are employed in error prone ways by both administrators they’re still learning to grow competence in for both communities?). To do it for the community to a high standard by the years end. And then we never have to make mention of these problems again, not because people like me necessarily admire the outcomes of the forum but because we have become just totally ensnared by the truth of the heart that exists in both places. This isn’t a theoretical place (even if my own journals are theoretical). This isn’t even a practical place. It’s a heart place and everything out of that including practices and theory arise out of that. I shouldn’t be the one teaching this though, I should be the one learning it from both forums and simply joining in the alignment of that narrative. To boost whatever morale I can for the rest of the year in my absence, this is what you can do in my absence in the creation of what truly makes a spiritual community a spiritual community, if a community is coming together under any premise outside of love and truth by teachers who preach it, the community needs to be removed; ostracized from humanity. An important declaration here is the following which I have seen symptomatic of one of the core issues of both places, it is unhealthy for people especially those who are simply being enabled for their bad behaviours to be seeking belonging in places founded upon truthful foundations that are comparatively not at all clearly acted out in reality. Using love and truth with specific members here not mentioned as examples of what has been espoused, but ultimately, has barely carried out in reality. In fact, it has created many repeated toxic situations over the last two years that I have observed this place that have barely even had a bandaid over them in fact many of those times I’ve had to be the one to play protector since the beginning for multiple people. That’s not on. That’s not my role. Only as a community that’s my role but I do not feel “community” in this place outside of deluding myself and that needs to change for people in both communities this year. Step outside any narcissistic bubble you have and learn to act like a god damn human. All of this, everything. All the bullshit. All the nonsense. Absolutely everything. It all must come to end or both forums come to an end. You must learn to build rubrics for handling all kind of conflict situations in the long term sense, this reappearance of conflicts with the same members across many different kinds of instances is simply not on anymore. Abusing members (not referring to the protection or defense against certain members though admittedly I understand that I have sometimes taken things too far here) or the handling of any situations on this forum by moderators et al without the greatest of intelligence reflective of the purpose of the forum is totally unacceptable.. This should be very easy if the forum leaders are so dedicated to love and truth as they claim. This will grant them my trust, actual results now. No speak. This is not a pickup community. This is not a community to teach dating to men. This is not a mental health community. This is not a fitness community. This is not an entrepreneurship community. This is not a psychedelic community. This is a personal development community with a spiritual edge or a spiritual community with a personal development edge. If it’s not, you better tell people the truth about what they’re actually here for. Very basic rubric ideas for both community administrators, asking questions around (non-psychedelically related): 1. Well-being 2. Happiness 3. Peace 4. Contentment 5. Personal growth 6. Choose a better one if you have one these are just off the cuff ideas For both men and women. Right now this place would score overall between 2 and 3 in average with only very mild peaks above a 5. Pushing that up past an 8 consistently by the years end is all that would be required to keep this place afloat. Aim for quality over quantity. Even if there’s only one member here, if the administrator is unable to sustain intelligent, healthy conversation with someone that is capable of proper reciprocation with one member where you’re both adding to one another’s life according to the above rubric what are the chances they can do it for potentially hundreds? Leadership is a relationship with the related person to an entire in this case community, it has zero to do with one’s own egocentric ideals; preferences or opinions when it comes to spirituality and personal development coming together as one under truth, love and reality which I believe are supposedly at least two of the main ideals on this forum while discounting any notion of god that I’m only not mentioning here to avoid corrupt connotations. I will replace both communities myself if they do not measure up. I already have people in mind that I would select to attempt such leadership if it was needed and will freely invest money into developing whatever they need to get ahead. I am not a value taker, I love the idea of the forums as a concept but I especially because I have been here for so long will no longer tolerate their conditions on planet earth, like many other things I will no longer tolerate on planet earth. Earth must become a place of well-being, happiness, support and development for the greater peace of mankind. I have decided to use both communities as my testing grounds for that and you’re not able to selfishly stop me from doing the job you’re meant to be doing yourself if you’re in any capacity of leadership on a forum that espouses those principles, hiding behind an image that others have projected of you as proof of your own competence doesn’t count either, genuine results, genuine improvements in the lives of other people and the obvious smooth and progressive running of an environment like this community does. Both communities have done in some instances irreparable damage to people, under any other proper jurisdiction that community, group or organisation would be put under tribunal and investigation. This is my own personal investigation given spirituality hits close to home for me. I personally have no interest in these areas concerning the making of my own forum. I was here just to journal and express. I will give both administrators the opportunity to remove the forums through their own choice. If this community fails then so does the other, forcing the cooperation between the two if need be because the other community was largely stolen from here. You know I will keep my word, you’ve got my ethics as per CTRL/equivalent F/S just above. I act fairly and honestly. So like I said, if both go, I will already have another person and or group of people lined up, in fact I will help them in whatever way they need financially and otherwise before hand so they can create it regardless if they choose to still go ahead with it, meaning inevitably without me being a part of it (most likely), a third community will be created in order for me to maintain alignment with my intentions here in a timely manner. I never go back on my word. One story… For one shipping item that a delivery driver forgot that had to go interstate for a customer that wasn’t even that important to me, guess what I did? As soon as I found out I traveled for 20 hours in my car to their destination at no extra cost. I saved that guy $75,000 AUD though for a building project. This was 7 years ago when I had zero to gain from the situation because he wasn’t even a repeat customer and I’ve plenty of things since then. I have the best of intentions so you’ll just have to trust me. Spirituality and personal development are vital to the profession of humanity and right now most of you especially the leadership are purely pretending that your heart is fully in it when you’re saying that you’re god, all about truth and love etc. Well, now reality has come knocking on your doorstep in the form of a dude with the power to actually put that to the test and call both communities out on their bullshit. No more ego worshipping of leadership or whatever it is in any way. Get to work on what you truly say you believe in, create an 8 or above environment by the years end with that rubric or equivalent and only good things will follow for both communities. Let’s keep this peaceful, up-spirited and to the potential of the administrators accomplishment here in both communities by 2023. It’s a win-win. You make your forums better, there can only be an upside from that. I have spoken to all important persons close to me and after everything I have disclosed to them about everything that has happened they’re in full support of me which I am very grateful for. Heart. Love. Truth. Consciousness to Universe; unified. Good luck and best wishes. ============================= Otherwise, for those that enjoy reading my own theory, to get a look inside my own head on my latest update I have the following to share. I have also uncovered many other deep insights about the nature of consciousness but I am a little too wise to share them here for now. I have framed them as the “15 PILLARS” purely improvisationally. This personal model for myself was created today off the cuff and it something I will be integrating over the coming weeks. I obviously don’t have time to describe every detail of every stage I imagine at best others will only be able to get ideas from it rather than discernment to its full, at least it gives you some kind of signpost for where I am at the moment however vague. NEW UNDERSTANDING / SIGN POSTING MY DEVELOPMENTAL POSITION AND SUBSEQUENT TRAJECTORY: THE FIFTEEN PILLARS, Cycle of Self-Unity to Unity-Self These understandings are to slowly more and more serve every dominant and or primary all the way to tertiary mechanism, chemical, neuron, mapping. The first step is that the (a) self must break awareness The second step is that (b) awareness must break consciousness - Transform imagination - Resolve memory - Solve logic - Pattern intelligence - Mastery of time (with the first ones that preceded this one) The third step is that (c) consciousness must break information The fourth step is that (d) information must break truth The fifth step is that (e) truth must break reality The sixth step is that (f) reality must break universe The seventh step is that (g) universe must break the earth It is imperative that you order things correctly. The universe is inclusive of the inner and outer universe. Correct ordering, say for your motivational apparatus, is incredibly important. Your motivational system operates on the same way dominos fall, one association to another emotion like a double helix bind together where at the end point spell out the alphabet of what makes your motivational apparatus work at any one point in time. Motivation is of course however under “psychological mastery” in its intersectional and interconnective unity with other important existential objects of being. The eighth step is that (h) earth must break all ambition The ninth step is that (I) ambition must break all heart The tenth step is that (j) heart must break all soul The eleventh step is that (k) soul must break all ego - Mastery of all psychology; developmental stages; including the envision of new stages based on second step discernments here. The thirteenth step is that (l) ego must break all progress The fourteenth step is that (m) progress is to break all integration The fifteenth step is that (n) integration is to break all unification The sixteenth step is that (o) unification is to break all oneness This is the completion of the first draft. This most definitely is my final message for the year. This most definitely is the completion of the FINAL SUMMONS as per the beginning of this post. Much love. Enjoy your year.
  2. Let us begin this new chapter together badass warriors. Okay, firstly let’s get this digital avatar out of the way, what’s up with that right? We’ll start low-key here and then slowly graduate in our mini university here to higher and higher levels then from there we’ll slowly ease it back down all the way to being fairly casual and low key. Well, I’m still working on it using AI MidJourney as my creative resource, trying to something that is closest to this level at the very least with no further distance from how I actually look, right. Right. This is just an experimental phase, I know I would have just messed with some folks perception of me now a little haha not intended trust me you know me I just like exploring different domains of consciousness; consciousness equals unity and unity invariably equals integration and integration means the exploration of the unknown. That’s “Who I am” aka that’s a part of my identity structure that aids my ego in understanding itself inclusive too then of it even understanding it through the lens of an identity structure. To this latter end there’s of course outside of it merely being perceived as an image and nothing more there’s the ego’s understanding of itself through “physical identity”, with physical identity simply being one domain of investigation that we can explore using digital avatars as one modality of inference. This naturally leads to the birth of multiple worlds and multiple psychological reference frames that the ego has to try to figure out how to bring distinction, harmony and congruence to inside the dissonance it experiences from the level of separation that occurs between the physical and the digital, its digital social world and its physical social world, the physical social worlds understanding of your digital identity and the balancing that the ego’s empathy does with its understanding of how the physical resolves this digital identity with its representation of both the more real versus the postulated physical identity. Regardless, I’ve honestly never given any of this that much thought even when I’ve read a little bit about how the internet including social media is its own medium for our self-understanding in many ways I’m sure you yourself can imagine in light of what I’ve mentioned just above hey, the ego’s battle towards resolution being possessed by many meta-worlds of conflict, one of those being the conscious minds reality appraisal and its tendencies towards various forms of its own propensity towards delusion and thus without question, narcissism. We have the convolution of positive narcissism all the way down to its increasingly darker ends when the “conscious minds” drive towards reality appraisal and reality congruence as one of our core ego functions is increasingly less able to bring symmetry between the real, imagined and represented. From this, what consistently tends to happen is that the ego sets up a game between its various functions where it becomes addicted to resolving itself between the digital and the physical. This is all self-theorised in the present moment based on my newly forming cognition on this topic as I’ve now experienced it in the creation of my life-like digital avatar and its impact on both the social space and my perception of that social space. Now I know you’re now just as interested as me in exploring this fascinating area of yourself if you’re just as open minded heh. Anyhow, I was motivated to try this out after I saw a digital version of someone else in the the Andrew Tate thread and yeah I know its probs just an image from google I can’t be bothered looking up. Concerning my digital avatar below “his” shoulders aren't as wide and he's not as “better looking” overall. ‘ Off the cuff at first I found it to be a fascinating that I’d decided I’d rather have what I perceived as a lesser version of me compared to a "fuller/better version" as that would have felt disingenuous. The range from min to max here concerning variation being a novel gateway I self-realised towards the exploration of the above ego dynamics. It reminds me of how the way we interact with certain video games is can both generate an understanding of ones psychology as well as influence and or to a more desirable end, expand it. This is still a pretty cool variation regardless, however in reflection of my reactions over the last 24 hours plus its been really interesting to notice my subconscious responses vary from negative to positive associations, associations with other people and associations with various aspects of time. It’s been this range of complexity in the dimensionality of my own responses that I believe has grown the multifacetedness of the awareness I have over and about my ego which I now feel has a greater distance and closeness simultaneously to it with the conscious mind. This has now broadened my scope, perspectivism and from this my understanding of the potential pathways towards simultaneously both ego growth to ego dissolution and their unification. Now as for the image itself, my goal has been to turn this avatar into what I’ve termed a representation of “Universal Being/ness” combined with an abstract to real symbolic representation of orca whale/s as a part of the digital avatars identity structure. This… Has been quite the difficulty, searching through variation after variation with nothing fine tuned enough for release. I did find one that I really liked and even changed my profile photo too, even creating a YouTube video with it as an experimentation of which some of you may have seen, however it looks nothing like me haha so I had to toss that in the trash obviously. Anyhow let’s move forward. Okay! This is like well timed too. Where we’ll end up here as The Sims to think of any other “The Matrix” variation including variations of Black Mirror episodes any “Simulation Foundations based Netflix series” or even its neat juxtaposition like the films Source Code and The Edge of Tomorrow which were pretty badass aye #mention-more-films-here, who knows and quite frankly. Who gives a fuck, in the thick of it all and all that comes, all of reality is still the fluidity that creates its continuity, clocks turn. Still I get it, it’s still pretty cool including the creative ways it opens up our self-exploration of our own psychology, obviously, with this digital to physical ego resolution I’ve been speaking about being a good analogy for how that plays out with all of these other variations, including too of course as I tapped on in the beginning here, the delusions that the mind can create as it goes through its natural process of resolution to resolve to renewed action of an ego reborn. This is why, “Nothing matters… and then everything matters to the ego” is a paradoxically sound statement, first stated by me? The ego is composed in the song of life using matter and its sensitive finite “neural” structures as its notes and chords with the latter as its variation of mappings (i.e. neural map activation / cross neural map activation). Life’s narratives are like the infinite arrangement of songs across a seemingly infinite arrangement of sounds and so creative exploration in any artistic domain not just in music is both a literal example and a good analogy for ego exploration and development too, with these noted artistic cinematic works adding to our palette of potential thought experiments we can run on reality and how our self tries to cope with that simulated reality in the context of consciousnesses necessary “drive” towards the generation and the consequential development of ego in the context of binding laws of neuroplasticity. The plasticity of life is to the plasticity of time the ego needs in order to make sense of its meaning and purpose outcomes of evolution, this is why both the thought experiment of the expansive limits of something like combining neurolink/analogous with AI or at the very least the upper limits of the potential of AI is fascinating in the context of what that means for ego development and what the ego will even look like from the viewpoint that follows after enough meaningful cycles of ego development as well as of course, what we as the ego will even think of itself/ourselves. It’s like an ant trying to make sense of “the human ego” it doesn’t even understand the first letter of “the” so how is it going to get all the way ten letters later to “o”? Anyone? Oh we’ll just “All be Gods!” Right… And I say just yeah right to that really I mean sure its possible but we just have literally no idea what that even looks like not to mention the comparably seemingly infinite vision that follows from that viewpoint. All of this is not only fun to ponder though of course but as per this self-discussion, with thought experiments in general as noted, a means of that stated ego exploration and development. And I know I’m definitely not the only creative intellectual wondering about this of course however I wouldn’t know where to look for any public discourse that gives the subjects exploration justice. There’s a saying I can sum this up with, “We shouldn’t make assumptions, we should just have fun making them.”, understood in context with this discussion. Just very briefly, one really interesting introspection for me is in the pondering of how the great expansion of our cognitive limits is going to impact our emotional limits, there is an audiobook that I know some of you would love, its called Understand by the author Ted Chiang who also wrote the book Arrival that later was turned into a film as we all know staring the cohost to my naturally glossy strawberry blonde hair, Amy Adams. She has a much darker tone of course though heh. That film was a major eye opener for me. “Open eye” here will be a reference that I’ll use later in this first journal entry that all of these preliminary thoughts will bring greater context to. In light of this and all the progress that we make here and elsewhere let us most of all trust three things (1) the laws as we have defined them as pivotal to our personal development and (2) trusting in our own neuroplasticity towards our greatest heights, including lastly (3) that as simultaneously our vision on its growth-curve across time in the balance of the order and chaos of our minds lives and the life of reality as we can most greatly fathom it with our intelligence more and more over technological and naturally biologically augmented time (perception and creation). Ego plasticity is the frame rate of Jungian to Freudian individuation. This individuation… snapshotted through the finite camera lens of minds time… designed to capture the infinite glimpsed by the one eye of consciousness for our ego’s integration… and ultimate liberation. We'll call this the completion of part 1 of my post.
  3. @Loba Thanks Loba. There is a heart in everything. It’s deepest energy the creation of existence and therefore the sustainment of us all, I was so exhausted last night after all the energy I gave to my father. Amazingly, I have no idea if the two had connected though yes of course if my beliefs in it working are aligned with reality, my step mother commented on how much colour had returned to my father, how his skin looked much more clearer and healthy even though she didn’t know what I was doing. I experienced a lot of peak states while holding my fathers hand and sending as much love as I could, in the end though, I was totally sapped of everything. Going to bed earlier and waking up late. Still tired today. Heading to hospital again now. So amazingly he hadn’t woken up at all until he saw me for the first time yesterday within minutes of my arrival after being asleep for 7 days. I had began my consciousness transmutation exercises as soon as I heard the news the night before. I was informed late as family members didn’t want to take me away from my endeavours at the time. Now I will be there by his side until he’s made a complete recovery. Enjoy your year. Much love.
  4. Done and Dusted: I am putting my foot down now. I will be removing Actuality of Being and Actualized dot org forums from the internet if they don’t improve their standards to my satisfaction of excellence by the years end. Holding my fathers hand, being the only one here with him. Laura gone home to prepare for her night shift it’s made me realise and she’s helped me realise this as well as literally no one I’ve told about this community has supported my being on it. If I told my father, a man of excellence in everything he has done in his life he would be absolutely appalled by the sociopathic behaviour, gossiping, backstabbing and all sorts of things that happen on this forum and the other. Spirituality is about truth and reality, that’s where it begins and ends other than the employment of this. In so saying as much I am making it clear to everyone that this is my stance. This is the last time I put up with obvious narcissistic sociopathic bullshit directed towards me and general negligence from the leadership with respect to situations relating to me. More maturity, social intelligence and empathy is needed across the board. I will never comment on this delusional forum again. For the good people here with good hearts, you have my heart sincerely, however this place is an absolute disaster with respect to the leadership because of as aforementioned has allowed to continue for so long. I am done. I do not trust anyone on this forum anymore bar certain few after everything that has happened and the response that was made to everything there. Sort your shit out. You have yourselves until the year to sort this forum out. This forum will be PERMANENTLY deleted including the other. I want to see no sociopaths on this forum, no narcissist or any behaviour that is consistent with that in any way shape or form. I am not spending a fucking second more on this forum. My father could die and I am sending all the love I possible can to him and if he goes while this forum and the other still exist, what a tragedy that is for humanity in light of everything my father has single handedly contributed to this planet. I am so utterly disappointed. I am completely peaceful. Completely loving. But I am completely dominant now as well. This is all COMING TO AN END one way or another. Truth and reality. No more bullshit on this forum. Fix it. You have about 349 days to turn both forums around into places that actually deserve to be a part of the definitions of spirituality, reality and truth for planet earth or they’re BOTH gone. Both people running the forums have not shown enough positive outcomes for this forum if we ever had a rubric of targets for what a spirituality forum should be trying to meet aka minus all the delusion of this place. Think about the planet. Think about the entire species. Think about what you want both forums to contribute to humanity. Goodbye.
  5. Thank you and much love. Interestingly, my father woke up as soon as I arrived for the first time in the last 5 days. When I held his hands I just concentrated so hard on producing the feeling of love as I’ve spoken about in the past how I would spend hours and hours practicing that transmutation to the point where my whole body was vibrating, in no less than a few moments I felt this surge of warmth between us both. Dad is still pretty incapacitated as you can tell but still as good looking as any other guy out there even with tubes in his face, he’s always had the ladies after him haha one of the nurses commenting sincerely on his 80+ yr old strength. Ever since last night when I found out I’ve just been practicing and honing the frequency of love for my father, taking on any outside chance that it may work from a distance. Now this has catapulted all of my former work on consciousness transmutation and this will be the new year where I really take everything there to the next level, theoretically, experientially and very practically. All it is if you remember at the beginner level is simply placing your hand on your heart and concentrating on love. Send some love to my father, a prayer, a small positive thought and much deep love in return. I will add in a jazz improv for this comment as per the new process I’ve described previously I’m following for posting from now on. Listen to the previous comments improv if you haven’t already haha. Peace out and much love 😎🎬☮️. One thing as well, is that through this practice I am learning to simultaneously inwardly engineer deeper and more salient levels of power, selfhood and truth using love as the domineering catalyst for that execution and authority, too, for greater levels of self awareness. This is really forcing me to find deeper depths between heart and mind/brain in terms of bridging their communication and capacities. Why am I doing this? If yal don’t already know love has a profound influence on our personal well-being and where it lived in the nurturing from our parents it played a profound part in our emotional and cognitive development. PHOTO OF MY FATHER REMOVED
  6. Interestingly, I had a dream last night where I taught myself about thinking dimensionally as my standard way of thought, now I’m trying to re-teach myself. • a lot of points here will share as a “descript” when I’m past this period with me dad in hospital, we’ll be going there soon I got high hopes just bringing comfort to the fam ========================== Jazz Blues Day 2, song 3 or 2 if we add the negative quality of the other one as that was just humorous. Just a quick improve lyrics below, barely got out of bed heh 🌍. https://voca.ro/1hhChmEcPNGL When I wake up from the storm The heart aligns It inspires The love it swirls The world unfurls Let the universe create Through the essence of being All from the world unseen Eternality Factoid of the day have been learning myself about neurodegenerative diseases, the mechanisms of fluid intelligence and uniquely, ideating about all the ways artificial intelligence can be used to speed up research in these areas. For those unaware that’s becoming my area of expertise, I’ve spoken about conservation work for orca whales. Spread the love, stay curious and keep your minds open 😎. What’s your vision for yourself or even humanity and how yal gettin there? Peace and love.
  7. Just giving an update on my fathers condition, so he’s slowly making a recovery. I knew in my heart that everything was going to be okay. I’ve just been focusing on love and sending it with my heart informing my sister to do the same thing as her heart based response would have a much stronger physiological effect as her body releases chemicals that change his bodily response through touch and presence. I am now revolutionizing my stance, I really believe that mind intelligence is heart intelligence and that mind intelligence is only as strong as our heart intelligence. From here I am slowly building the “physics of heart intelligence”, which isn’t really understood unless you’ve actually practiced the technique of activating the hearts intelligence as per instruction from previous journals I’ve created here. The more you feel the heart the more you know it’s the primary regulator the less you’re in touch with it the less you’re aware of this as even a possibility. Anyhow, I randomly pulled up these lyrics seeing as we’ve got a devoted ran concerning this artist I thought I’d do an impression. I’ll be seeing my father tomorrow morning by the way I’m staying down at his place with Lauren so we’re not far away. Bare in mind that Lauren and I are both in bed as I sing this haha before bed while my step mother is like just a few rooms down as we all prep for sleep now ha https://voca.ro/177wSXMW8UnR (I wanted to give an update: and for those that are like “I cannot believe how rude these people are commenting”, yes that’s what a lack of empathy / sociopathy is, it’s just a brain condition they have. It can probs be healed but it’s not automatic for them to be able to execute normal ranges of empathy, empaths like myself get pissed but I’ve become a lot wiser these days, you just gotta be objective and respond from there can’t project what you want the world to be : just be a smart visionary) For those not sure what I’m doing with these recordings/SoundCloud these is me now doing it for every post. Let me off the hook on quality for this one only, all the rest will be more serious haha.
  8. So I completed this in 5 min, this is to make the first jazz song for the above comment so I stick in line with my promise of a new jazz song each comment. I've... Got to run. Lyrics below. I just received a call as soon as I finished this about my father. He's still asleep. There's complications I don't know enough about, so I'm racing down with Laura in my car for a 2 hour trip. The end of this is pretty rough, go easy on me. And as I describe I'm learning jazz from scratch and this is a full stomach of pizza with a 5 min warmup. Completely original song. Laura wanted to be in this post usually not wanting to show her face but because she's coming down with me now she wants to be a part of this post. Love yah dad. PHOTO REMOVED https://soundcloud.com/project-demo/love-again I see you in my eyes Don’t you want to wake up again I want you to know in my way I see you again Love Love in my heart Love in your heart Again Don’t you want to know What’s in your soul And Mine We've purposefully chosen a goofy photo because dads super goofy (in an actually funny masculine way). This song provides good contrast for the above 2 posts ago that I won't quote here or again because we've got a new thing going as per the previous quote that hopefully folks Sherlock Holmesian abilities are able to tap into. Much love bitches. Make a prayer for my dad please (silently, let's keep this space free). Sending you all best wishes hoping everything is well for everyone's loved ones, family and all. This song was purely an improvisation with the exception to the end added that in. This will be a good before and after baseline combined with the other two comments ago.
  9. Now I feel guilty because I feel I’m letting down Leo, don’t be such selfish asses aye 🌍, mind your own business and get on with your lives already please, escape the bubble. And let me do my jazz (let’s get this party started) in the described way two posts ago. If you truly want the respect of being taken seriously, do things that make another take you seriously. Aka, not only reading my journal but taking the time to deeply introspect on and learn from it followed by showing me that you’ve truly learned something and you genuinely have value to provide. Don’t be a value taker, add to this community. Thank you . Okay from here on out, as per my “jazz per post” in the way described above. Try to avoid just binging on my new posts, take in the whole journal and develop nuanced, synthesized deep thoughts that if you want to talk to me that’s the way to begin, let’s turn the pages as I expressed over and over how to do, I actually shared that quote three times (a few posts ago - and I won’t tell you which post) and talked ALLLLLL about free will for you there to have a more nuanced perception from that reference frame in the context of any recontextualisation you do on anything expressed here and the greater sum of the universe of lxlichael 🤓😎🥸. I’m just one star in the sky, boy I do shine brightly but there’s a whole milky way I’m a part of which is a whole lot more beautiful and interesting to grow and learn from; that’s what I’m doing, that’s what this place is for to share my thoughts and whatever else I wish to share. Peace ☮️ . • introspection • critical thinking • love • truth I’m putting my faith in the greater grace that any and all of you will put this first before incorrect reference frames for incorrect conclusions that just misalign an already chaotic perception of the beautiful universe of me 😻 . I made Leo a promise and he’s made me a promise, at least that is what is superimposed implicitly, make us both that promise in respecting my journal and reforming your patterns based on these last two posts. Much gratitude, much appreciation, much love, much respect and most importantly to properly identify all of these in the post where I referenced free will in this post and in its described behavioral practice, much truth 🪐🌹💫🌈.
  10. OBJECTIVE MEASURE BEFORE AND AFTER Alrighty, let's get a baseline objective measure. Have barely sung last few weeks as one can imagine all the way before Laura and I went to Quebec city. This is me not really chest voice its pretty heady yal that know me know how deep/related my chest voice is, all for the new players perhaps that are like "is this dude for real nah he probs just some homie g that thinks he can sing but cant" so this is me to win their approval. In all aspects of my life, in all efforts people have towards me, it becomes hilarious when they start thinking I care about their validation or approval in any respect whatsoever outside the determination and actualisation of truth and love. Some probs think "I'm giving him a taste of his own medicine", but they're just deluded really as I said in my second post in this journal and you just gotta stay on the line of love is what I've learned. I've got such ferocious protective instincts that I've repeated like a quadrillion times and people are just deaf ears only want to listen to what suits their own clouded biases and like 0.1% have even read my journals to understand me as a person, not even this journal that they may choose to comment on to say some retarded bs to demonstrate their own incapacities for humanism and general empathy when it comes to comprehending another individual. As I said, not sure if gonna put vocals here in my dads composition and this isn't jazz as I said I've only just started learning it, just totally off the cuff no prep whatsoever purely as a quick baseline measure to see where I am in the next few weeks... haha I'll have to start practicing now aye! Made just now. Love yah dad. https://soundcloud.com/project-demo/lxl reminds me of a memory as a 7 yr old kid, dad came into see me after my appendix surgery and I threw the basketball he bought me in his face as my mother brainwashed me about how to perceived me. I see this infantile situation concerning certain others perceptions of me in the same way, they've barely grown past the age of 7 years, quite literally. Lolz, its so hilarious that yal only deserve the dumbest down version of my writinzzz given there's been a supreme failiure on some persons part when it comes to reading this journal from start to finish or just all important parts / READING COMPERHENSION. Sincerely, much love and respect. Keep the kisses.
  11. During these next few weeks while my dads in recovery, we're going to go through a jazz phase (with vocals) together as an integral part of composing something for my father (no vocals for my fathers composition). From now on, perhaps even until the end of the year, we're going to step into the suave cool warmish breeze of purple jazz for every post (meaning I'll share a new composition each time). Totally new to it, so let's just have jazz/fun; as that's what the whole genre is about. I still haven't had my $25,000 (haha) ear surgery, for real, a couple to few months away but... Sometimes life calls you to begin before you're ready or, you miss the wave of love that's needed in the world . Thanks Laufey .
  12. Dads still not awake. I'll be contacted ASAP when he is. Right now, just on emergency call. Composing a Beethoven song for him. I've realised that I need to live permanently with all those I love (including eventually all of reality) in my heart. It's... Super difficult, I know your difficulties whoever you are... I'll share some of my insights later. My father wants me to be as successful as possible with music, its been one of those things that has built a shadow in me about disliking attention for music stuff that it would push me away from true mastery. He hasn't known with best empathy and forethought how to steer me by observing my personality outside the projection he has of me. He's going to be in the hospital for at least the next few weeks so I'll easily complete my first "Beethoven". Not many people get to say that they can just without any formal training "make Beethoven" in a short space of time and they'd think of me as ungrateful for my abilities. Sensory reality, the multiplicity and extensionality of my own imaginative capabilities as well as just general inventive abilities in most senses, even empathically, it really doesn't mean anything at all to feel lucky being blessed for whatever ability you have if you don't truly do it for love or for the ones you love; that's what I've realised and many other nuances that brought me to this position that I'll reveal which will shed light on my own psyche that may be able to be used for others concerning their own deeper introspections. Much love. Much respect.
  13. For other readers here, I don't see the value in acknowledging people who fail in reading comprehension. Not doing the whole "replay" when its perfectly accessible on your own "scroll" remote control above. I have no reason to apologise for my abilities or accomplishments and as I've already mentioned regarding what I prefer from now on. I have... Endless wit but... I'm giving you something when I give you my wit, do you really deserve it though, have you really taken in previous thoughts deeply in this journal? Well, that needs to be demonstrated and so far... it hasn't. So let's finish this post with blandness and hand the in built microphone to someone else then, shall we?
  14. I just got this amazing idea by the way, I'll be Anki'ing what I write from now on in a questioning style sort of way instead of re-reading it in this format. That'll really put the flux capacitor back into my creative writing production's Vladmir Putin masculine horseback "writing"; for whatever AI Midjourney variation I'm going for there. I don't think anyone really likes that guy all that much anymore by the way, like I think Kim Jong Un is more popular now and Gangnam Style is definitely beating them both, except, no body remembers the creator of the song which by the way makes me feel guilty, so I'll be looking up his name now. PSY! Also Mary said she feels uncomfortable as Laura did about me posting her picture so I'll probs be deleting that later. Meh. She backs out just like Elon on Twitter so maybe I'll take her to court on this issue (probs not). < RE-READ THE QUOTED TEXT TOGETHER WITH ME >
  15. REPOSTING FOR THOSE THAT GOT THE INITIAL "TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE" (Hollywood film) VERSION: As I say at the end, I'm now forcing myself to re-read what I've written. It becomes excruciating sometimes but I gotta for the purpose I described at the end. It's so strange because once I get into it I enjoy it but right before its such a drag and before that it never even occurs to me outside of "how I should have gone to higher abstraction" while neglecting the fact that sometimes I just want to have a casual coffee conversation with myself. That's what X is for anyway if I want. I mean, the more I read it the faster I get anyway so what is this, its not like this is "Back to the Future" without Dr. Emmett Brown. Everything just appears so obvious when you're re-reading it, not when you're writing it though haha its Michio Kaku "Future of the Mind" interesting; a book writing style that I semi-want to have my own mastered variation in my regular releases. By the way, no I am not getting paid for these paid advertising releases. Now jumping into Part 4 of my post: Created (written) in a Cafe (died in a coffee cup) With a badass coffee baristas steam sounds being my Beethoven and Bach my hearts rhythms need God, reading that back if you can infer where I’m pointing to if not you’re probably not the reader meant for this journal.. I loved the poem by the way the more I read it back to myself it sounds like a rap like I literally bob my head back and fourth while reading it heh… you’ve got no idea how much it bores me to hear myself talk about my own accomplishments though… I’m glad I wrote all of that however, as I will just link it next time it’s needed haha. It is of course in part my own fault for not giving a fuck so much what I’ve written on the forum in the past that the “cognitive tweezers” of certain peoples minds found it hard to silent certain synaptic associations acting as blisters in the fingers with the material to immaterial and back again identity they formed in their minds about me. To the contrary, I’d much rather hear about my own writing that is purely about the truth of being where that encompasses the full exploration of life inclusive thus too, of the solitary reservoir of emotional myopia that is the fluid colour palette of the heart. Which for this journal serendipitously is in the working of bridging its impatient irrational but ultimately glorious sensibilities with the endless shape shifting architectures of the mind that have taken me years and years to truly begin to get an intuitive understanding as to the relationship inclusive then too from the structural to the now effect rather than mere causal based functional. That is, the relationship between thought and emotion and how to very simply said but ultimately the best way to do it, how to build, understand, instruct and intuit story between the two for the rest of being to live in the pronounced acquisition of their triad effect, where the other node there as a creative category I could just label as the *rest of being*. So live and let live, means exactly as the saying goes, live and let the living live, and fully if they’re not breaking any naughty laws, “Do we have naughty laws or naughty people?”, show respect by first learning to show yourself the respect your own existential dilemmas need for the reassurance that your capacity for vision will be put to good use without the ignorance of denying the past including too the ignorance of living in it. This last point is difficult to “live and let live” but it’s a problem only you and I can solve, it’s our existential dilemma both personally and interpersonally. As much as the past hurts including in just our bodies sometimes remembering it through a dysfunctional nervous system response as I have described in my quoted text. We have to learn to instruct our minds relative to their purpose which is to use them creatively which although society never does this well and therefore arguably the only example it teaches you to follow is what not to do, you gotta figure out what that purpose means relative to generating a healthy solution for your nervous-system full stop. Any capacity you have relative to that capacity is the definition of the level of self-reliance you’re meant to have on, as and in reality, that’s also unsurprisingly the definition of the responsibility you have to your free will if others remember my definition of that term in its relative sense where in short, “You have more free will than an ant do you not? So enough with this determinism bullshit, you’re symbiotic with life and your free will is a simultaneous life expression where you as an actor with the rest of the play of life act in the mutual act of its creation, which for you, is from the position of your sentience and for a frog it’s ribbit!”; it’s causational and you’re both at the end and beginning of that causal loop where your sentience is your incubation engine for giving birth to new experience for and as the universe from the perspective of a “human” being. Again, as this one needs repeating as I know how much society brainwashes people on the past in different kinds of negative directions depending on the demographic, so briefly to begin “without the ignorance of denying the past including too the ignorance of living in it.” Continuing on the topic of brainwashing firstly though if we’re for example inflating the definition a social environment that is meant to serve spirituality then it’s a “spiritual society” which ironically by the way society implicitly attempts to embody which is the ultimate "Fuck you!" in terms of manipulating you into then believing that government is “spiritual” rather than an impermanent design relative to the logical intent of serving a particular social status quo best suited not even relative to what solves society as an engineering problem but merely a socio-political problem. We all know that deep down the fabric of our definitions of “government” are well over due for a massive overhaul especially in the picture of what technocrats sometimes ignorantly envision as the promised vision for “society” that in their endorsement when they speak in front of cameras and microphones is a euphemism for “spirituality” because if you say spirituality on camera then it’s too “woo” even though that’s literally the only way society and government even works is that it convinces people of its “spirituality” implicitly. So yeah, as much as you gotta screen a gal or a guy, we’ve all gotta go back into the womb and screen this fucked up world before we get out into the great open space and love it, live it and now as a consequence of the mistakes we learn from on behalf of society, free it from its own misery by using our free will to bring about a “greater world” as that’s the spiritual thing to do when we’re serving society and when society is serving its implied purpose as I have defined it relative to how it has implied it; to add to my aforementioned "live and let (sentience) fully live". Society and government are therefore not wrong, designs and people are wrong and we all need to remember our critical thinking in all spaces to not judge too much in our process for getting those two categories right in our example across all spaces, relative to our level of development and explicit cause to learning from experience as core part of our intelligence acting out its spirituality, its spiritual purpose, the purpose for spirituality and therefore the cause for reality existing at all to begin with. For a third time, “without the ignorance of denying the past including too the ignorance of living in it”, which at the deepest level for the former, we have to face as much of our pain as we possibly can in the same way we know our house is only completely clean and organized if everything is in its proper place, so we shouldn’t forget the trash bin either but we can use that as an analogy for understanding the best way to recontextualise and learn from experience relative to the truths we understand about being using my example of thought-emotion, mind-heart connection and their foundation being possessed by them having a relationship that matures overtime relative to mastery as an ideational anchor there. This is difficult to do and the core maxim that you haven’t heard elsewhere for why that is, is because the ego is solely constructed by the past. This… is why the ego undergoes metamorphosis when you attempt to heal and grow from it. This is why truth, honesty and other virtues as opposed to hells slime is so important for ego liberation as a principle of growth because by following these two as an example you’re learning how to identify the truth of your experience in your alignment with the self-honesty of your experience. Following your ethical compass (then) has absolutely nothing to do at the deepest level with following societies norms, remember, society is there to serve our spirituality and our spirituality is obviously going to be predicated on emotions like truth and honesty which create the corresponding congruent thoughts relative to what needs to be realised by being at that moment in our existence. Rather following our ethical compass is in developing our intuition for what intrinsic ethics look like, aka our identification of virtue, not societies virtue (unless and only to the extent it aligns with truly self-determined spiritual virtue) but spiritual virtue where spirituality at the core is about identifying the truth of reality and therefore the truths of being aka in the context of our emotions, that which brings them in alignment with virtue and that which does not, including our choice in emotion as well as thus our understanding their relationship with being in the context of thought and their joint role and influence on action. This pathway towards developing our intuition for our intrinsic ethics through the lens of our intuitive compass is the pathway to developing our emotional bandwidth that allows us to compute that virtues like these are emotions in nature that you follow and that in return give rise to thoughts that to reiterate, are as a reflection of those two examples more truthful and honest to our beings, aka there is an opening of a gateway of experience through that vulnerability to the hidden reality that is otherwise the denial of our experience and therefore sometimes our past. To not be in denial then the first thing we must do in the context of understanding being as a rational construct, which for the mind it is as understanding is the only thing that leads to truth both cognitively and emotionally and often most of the time where it’s truly real, symbiotically (emotion-thought: their relationships interact together to create a proper definition of truth as well as ethics and therefore virtue vs vice), we must identify the virtues that oppose aka that live in opposition to the vices we’re unconsciously following that leads to the tendencies towards denying and therefore hiding those aspects of our experience when we tap into our experience through self-identified virtues that unveil it from our potential denial (of the past). Thus, virtues in the linguistic sense are categorical identifiers that point to how we’re meant to through our understanding of them direct the mind to move the body, meaning the correct self-identification of virtue was always on the basis of having at least partial understanding of consciousness transmutation aka the practice of alchemy in lieu of the action of transforming our bodies from one state to another or to state another way "one linguistic cognitive-emotional realm to another", from the state of recognizing our being is in the vices it’s following to produce a “low experience” to using our mind to heart intuition to understand where the virtue is to move our being closer towards; at the very least, this being a tertiary definition of enlightenment in the sense that it works as an enlightening process and or process towards greater illumination in its act towards producing a "high experience or "higher experience" in the most natural sense. Resourcing from the Kybalion "As above so below, so below as above" and thus as much as the former is precisely one of the core acts of determining truth from falsity, reality from imagination for the mind and heart in our understanding and movement towards virtue from vice and too as a building of our intuitive understanding for intrinsic ethics as our act of continual spirituality to and from the self in the context of the minds creation of time, this is the very basis for why society was able to convince us that it should exist. That is, through the basis of persuading us that it was in alignment with our virtue and away from our vice. Thus by this same measure we apply the same process for determining the truth and falsity of society, which society pretends that it's okay to own our ethical reference frame which in our correct following of our spiritual intelligence is the basis by which we self-realise the self at all and therefore its agency on the world and therefore the inevitable creation and subsequent investment in society itself as we become greater masters of our environment, this is thus a good example of its vice and our action towards this realisation our virtue. This continuous action becomes our act of heroism in lieu of our discovery and exercising of virtue and the only way we can be a hero in an unethical society that is no longer performing this act of spirituality well is by remembering this process and thus not being in denial of our past so that we can through our understanding of truth in differentiating our experiences in this way instruct visions of the future that are of the highest heart-mind intelligence where intelligent spirituality or the intelligence of spirituality or where the purpose of intelligence is always intrinsic to our understanding of spirituality is understood and carrying this out is our action of understanding. In short by the way, spirituality is indifferentiable from understanding how to use the full intelligence of our being. Point blank. And this is the sole basis for how and why society should be allowed to act as a “secondary actor” responsible for this space but you relative to your capacities as we’ve defined free will here, are responsible for being the "primary actor" first and foremost for yourself. Society has convinced most people however that they can do it better, which is why companies like Facebook that are outsmarting governments and releasing studies on taking advantage of the lack of brain development in a child’s brain, are able to undermine governmental control in its knowledge that the individual is already undermined by the government through either generally speaking the extreme trust the individual has or the extreme lack of trust, of which it should be neither, for in our understanding of maturing the intelligence of the heart-mind relationship, we simply identify virtue where there is virtue and vice where there is vice. Competition for your mind has turned competition into a vice as opposed to a virtue from the lens of understanding that a mind should be freed relative to how we understand spiritual intelligence in this post as I have expressed it here already. To the extent that this vice grows is to the extent then that the heroic path leads competition between individual and government, ideally healthy competition aka virtuous competition rather than non-virtuous competition, ergo this is meant to be the virtue of lobbyist groups, “social justice warriors”, peace core and many other outfits in various other demographics vying through reformation convincing us that they’re doing this as their “spiritual act”, convincing us that this is the intelligence they’re following that frees their ego into higher levels. And we believe them because they are, most of them just do it to a relatively low standard or rather they can only do it relative to their level of free will (my definition as expressed earlier in this post) and subsequent knowledge they develop on the nature of how their being works. We have to see these groups including larger government and governments competing as believing they’re following their spirituality because they are as that’s what we’re all made for, some have just understood it better than others and that’s why we have so much conflict around what is vice and virtue for both the individual and the group that calls them a sovereign one because some are just better than others at understanding and implementing virtue to make “society” a good place to live and others less good and therefore making it a less good place to live. Causationally as I spoke about free will, we live the vice of society and we live the virtue of society at the expense or benefit of our subsequent vice and virtue at what should be as I expressed it earlier, at the secondary level not the primary level. To the contrary as I hope you now all realise in the context of all of us now coming to a better understanding of ourselves as creators, we are to that same expense or benefit to societies vice and virtue are to the primary level of societies snot, meaning from birth to ageing and therefore from its kindergarten to its nursing home, meaning we are the architects relative to the free will we have realised, the free will that self-instructs how society should be relative to our understanding of virtue from vice in our mastery of the described intuition. Living then for the virtue of society or any society including this forum we have identified after we have made the described self identification on this scale all the way to vice and back again, while away from the vice from the micro of society to the macro of the individual and that's purposefully inverted perspectivism, is precisely how we should be implementing this dichotomy in consciousnesses manifestation of our own expression of what is now, again, our primary rather than secondary ethic, sometimes competing in discussion with fellow sentience where it is virtuous to do so while avoiding the vice of this act on the nature of that truth through the same reasonable spiritual standards and inputs. Spiritually from this lens then, this describes the beginning and end point of the vision we create for ourselves where we are living our life out as the previously described hero of your own self-authored narrative of virtue not through some fanciful "woo" whimsical fete with the ridiculous but through the harnessing of both your mind and hearts intelligence to their greatest heights. This serves the object permanence (a psychological construct you should look up) of our existentiality or rather existential self between our consciousness experience and the actions we take from being in each moment as an act of living out our spiritual truth, which to the extent of its harmony, is always acting as a solution to how we bridge the personal with the interpersonal, subjective with the objective, creative with the traditional; our determination (of truth) being our determination of vice from virtue in all of these areas. This becomes the subject of how the future after following this enough in the present understands already how we’ve transformed the past relative to the limits of our free will, into the most virtuous life we at that time live fully in the present (a double meaning). ******************************** Alrighty that about wraps things up just freestyling like I’ve titled this is the balance between my other two journals X to lxl, have got more formal writings here that I first have to write which I’m looking forward to sharing. Don’t ever convince yourself that reading the "write" spiritual books are a waste of time because reading the right anything in the context of our spirituality should be serving the function of how to master our intelligence and therefore it is an action based manual that improves our responses to reality remembering that memory is how we remember to act at all in reality and linguistics that detail this for our imagination to act as our creative actor for greater actions. My words are thus to be converted into narrative that improves emotional and mental actions which lead to improved overall behavioral actions and this vice-virtue differentiation is what great example maps over many different areas of both us and larger society. I will be writing a bulletproof separate piece call it a short essay on this in much more detail, argumentation and scientific reason that’s to be converted in a life long prophecy of your own self perfection of the narratives I create. Other short essays I want to write and very briefly this is a moment for me to remind myself of how I want this to be a journal I continually re-read as reflective of this lesson, is the appreciation of my own created material whatever creative domain that is, that’ll be my own self created feedback loop between reading, appreciation and in return a natural growth in me taking more pride in what it is that I write here as I naturally at a subconscious level more and more see the influence that reading back my own material has on the end quality of my creative output which will in return bring greater instruction and purpose to my own style of presentation as it best serves the way my self structure best knows how to serve the virtue of understanding about being at the time. Laters creative fuckers, that’s my sentience done for the night. Fly to the moon for me and harvest beer 🍺 bottles, crack em in star dust and let’s jump into its StarGate of intoxication. We’ll play the now tropical or rather solar system variation of the counting game “99 bottles of beer on the Moon, 99 bottles of beer!!! He….”
  16. Now jumping into Part 2 of my post: An Introduction To bring context for both individual and community change Firstly, as it concerns the delusions of people concerning myself on this forum, I have less than zero time for them of course. I will simply take my scoring in the top 1% (or just its equivalent) on one of the most difficult examinations, the GAMSAT (look it up axonal to dendrite kinky synaptic masturbator), of which reading and writing is a core aspect of the examination, as all the objective evidence I need concerning my own abilities, not to mention other less related tests to linguistic ability and the critical thinking capacities which are simultaneously measured here that I have also scored in the top 1% of without “the biggest asshole” not necessarily being one of them that I needn’t mention right now. Many of those tests I assure you are on even par with the GAMSAT, including what are in my opinion extremely obtuse psychometric testing tools as it concerns personality evaluation by a proper professional, that I passed with flying colours. I do however have without reservation past experiences that I am still integrating, healing and learning from that I needn’t have my attention span occupied by the likes of those still hell bent on maintaining those delusions into the infinity of their own insanity; all in all, no body likes a brag but I thought I’d mention to dampen the sag. Moving forward concerning the context of my own participation on this forum, in light of these events coupled with what I hope to be a renewed sense of adventure into the unknown of what the future has in store for us on this forum I will be keeping my writing top tier, there’s various psychological areas and nuances within those areas that could be expounded upon for why I have subconsciously chosen by varying degree to not reflect my own capacities, including to in their continual development, however the empathic resolve of those is for the time being obviously not going to serve any suitable role for this introduction. The least of that end satirically speaking being purely the balance between now me maintaining my “I don’t give a fuck attitude” while minimising the damage of that into the future of this humble universe we call this site. The purpose of this site I have spoken about loud and clear already and well, that then includes me adapting some of my own behaviours to ensure my own intelligence is in proper alignment with that including the intelligence that I’m aware of is active on this site, including the lack thereof and the ensuring further mental and emotional difficulties this gives people and the balance between empathy, understanding and to avoid adding too many more categories what “wisdom” needs to be employed when managing my own reactions to our environment here and the collective-individualism, individualistic-collectivism that it is and evolves us as we go along on our merry way here day to day. This isn’t me, “trying my heart out like the little engine that could”, everything here is written here as if I were communicating one on one with you relative to how life has defined itself up to this point within my consciousness for this internet space, however it is my nervous system responding like a mouse does in a maze to the buzzes vs water drops vs cheese of the environment to ensure that I get less buzzes, more water and more cheese on command; cheese here simply being defined for this analogy as being here to serve the cause for why anyone should be a part of this kind of forum, to simply grow and evolve. And… ladies and gentlemen, mice and rats, do not make it anymore complicated than that, life like my words of expression sometimes, is already complicated enough and we’re all here for the cheese not the buzzes even if we can sometimes even get addicted to variations of those sometimes. What well timed lyrics these are heh. Furthermore, racing into the dash of my first essay here post its greater introductory phase for all intensive purposes concerning the wisdom of Yoda, I do want to make one brief mention with respect to my divergent capacities in light of this in the past being used against me as “evidence for my insanity” before we go too deeply into that dash. As if I haven’t heard of and been the victim of this slowly numbing drone like reaction and its gossiping before from other neurotypicals in the past, by “other” I of course mean the people attempting to confine me to an imaginary abstract wheelchair made after I was permanently sedated on their neurotic perceptions of me. Outside of the two spirituality safe havens we couldn’t possibly name off the top of our head of “dungeons and dragons with many non-Da Vinci like savants nestled in a cream brûlée of endless and harmony” I’ve honestly never experienced such grave attempts at character assassination, in fact across the board both inside and outside of my own divergent capacities, I’ve never been a part of and environment much less a spiritual environment where on first naive reflection you might just think its “green kumbaya” with 200 year old elf’s playing fucking flutes around a campfire that had so many manipulative, deceptive, selfish, self-absorbed and egocentric people in my life and I think I know partially the reason for this which I will only elaborate very briefly on. There are genuinely people in both spaces that would score more highly in these areas on both platforms as well as there being genuine contexts in which that’s just more likely to take place where there is a shift in the balance of power the most relevant instances here we all know about however this can also be put down to the fact that egocentric capacities are only enhanced on any digital platform, as well as too both the delusions generated from a lack of face to face interaction and the delusions that people have needed to carry out as a persona as a means of growing their own self-knowledge regarding the limits of their own psychology. All of this together being both reflective of unconscious and conscious defensive reactions to our spiritual connective space space if we represent that abstractly enough we could say is like interfacing with a digital avatar we’ve needed to superimpose on our perceptions in our analysis of an environment with a lack of non-verbal communication which in the context of an imbalance between complexity and our capacity to simply order our responses to that comparative chaos, increases the range and probability of equally discordant perceptions of the reactions produced by the environment and the subsequent difficulty of information moving fluidly from perception to insight on and for our environment here. Heads up, if you struggle to digest the complexity of my thoughts to the level of that difficulty this is going to increase all the negative reactions you have as a consequence of you not yet understanding your own psychology enough. So well, as I look at the dominoes as they fall for why and how it’s the case that you may still have negative reactions, that’s of course, not my business and not my responsibility. It’s a little like you going to the toilet to poop, shut the door, keep the volume down and remember to use air freshener before leaving so that I can avoid locking you in there like I may have in the past with my own what some may interpret as “egregious insults” towards bewildered combatants and well, slaves to the ignorance they still have up to this point concerning how their reactions to information especially social information negatively skews the accuracy of their reactions relative to their lack of not only their self-knowledge but also just the person simply remembering their self-knowledge that’s their locked in their hippocampus which in that moment, is simply not shifting from for lack of a better way of expressing, neural net to the “parietal lobe of reason” to heart (quite literally speaking, yes the human heart) to the prefrontal cortex’s grey matter of self-regulation. Whether you’re grey or white, I do not discriminate, I am not racist; let’s have the same treatment towards those across many different analogous contexts including the differences in which information flows in our brains to the rest of our nervous systems and back again. Finally, for all remaining delusional people post the beginning of this aforementioned introduction waiting for any remaining empathy they may be looking for from me even though their delusions as I have stated are not at all my responsibility but there’s…. Yes I care and I just simply want you to pay attention to looking after yourself well don’t make it more complicated than that and I won’t add any witty lines here that subtract from what has been an overarching shadow of devotion “towards the good” I’ve had even in spite of many juxtaposing and conflicting lights that have disturbed both the generosity of yourself and I to, at least what remains for me, a continual positive cause towards this site, however partially, and sight on the rest of my life and for all intensive purposes, the rest of the world where it matters to say so. In light of all of this, regardless as to what has happened between yourself and I in the past whoever you are, including that “abstract spiritual avatar” I brought up two paragraphs ago that serves our attempts at understanding this spiritual space through projection, yes again I meant what I said “through projection”, let us focus on the good of 2023 that can and indeed will bring positive contrast to all past instances the more we reign in our natures and express those towards that best serve our most desired ends and simultaneously, our most desired paths towards our individual to collective actualisation. We have a greater cause here for however cliche or trite it sounds or even however ineffably disillusioned we are concerning spiritual communities and greater spirituality as a cause for humanity itself, my impact on you is your impact on me at the end of some “fuzzy logic” based causal chain of the universe that I personally take to heart and I’d at least like my reader to begin trying to understand with me how they can personally take that to heart as well as a means of mutual agreement in our movement forward with the unity of the universe and our own unique path we walk towards our greater unification with that balance. Let’s turn egocentricity into the eccentricity of consciousnesses attempts to understand itself and let’s flip our judgements on idiosyncrasy on the same side of the coin of creative reason here to serve the highest spiritually aligned end in our collective understanding of the inevitable ignorance that forms in our consciousness as a natural consequence of being a part of a complex digital tribal space as opposed to a simplified face-to-face one. Turn judgement into self-enquiry and self-enquiry into insight that adds to deliberate wiser action if not even for this collective space just simply for our highest visions relative to the level of development we’ve presently reached thus far using spiral dynamics, stages of ego development theory or otherwise as a however partial intellectual compass minus any lack of open mindedness there potentially present. Openness being the pivotal cornerstone of this introduction changing the face of our movement forward and at any point we truly want to make a shift in our lives towards whatever greater betterment superimposed onto us by our experience of consciousness up to this point in our lives. In each and every one of us, “Yoda speaks and Yoda knows” but so too relative to the same level of attention we give it “the devil speaks and thus too, the devil within knows”, determining which one within us finally acts in reality simply depends on our devotion towards the truth of our experience in any given moment, including too, of its integration and how to act out its unification. An interesting interplay here of course with my earlier mentions of the psychological introjects that people need to introspect on and seek the understanding of through their acting out and exploration of persona with the digital landscape, however unconsciously, both respect to the literal necessity of this and as well of course, the sardonic theatre that sometimes bares as its post or pre antithetical or otherwise nihilistic fruit, whether its the nihilism of an ego stage or just stupendous bewilderment of some of the however partial disillusionment I’ve so far expressed can occur in our life journey in spiritual spaces and places of meaning and purpose alike. Otherwise for any future mocking, let us keep it backstage of the theatre along with the rest of our genuine vulnerability reflective of our struggle with the human condition while united in our front towards the stage of life that we must perform for until our final Yoda yogic days, that I of course hope you all one day achieve the level that I’ve achieved so far concerning subsequent “Super Sayin Spiritualhood”. Alright gunshot blazes for that racing dash from this starting block, let’s now get into post this introduction for the community and into the introduction for my work moving forward for this particular journal. Empty canvas, tape, pencil, ideas, measurement and go. Life begins with a simple “.” on our canvas, like us shining as individual stars in the sky that when we see all of our terribleness from enough distance like a milky way galaxy instead of seeing and being amidst of all those gases and explosions we go, “Look isn’t that beautiful!”, sometimes we gotta remember that too. Lastly just as a polite reminder, remember what I said above about air freshener. Thanks a bunch (cool sunglasses emoticon). Lastly, for other neurodivergents like myself, pull out a chair, let’s chat and never make too much of a big deal of it where we’re some weird girlish high school cheerleading clique that snubs the rest of the girls down the school hall for not being “as good as us” as we might say directly after expressing our love for pom poms and the genial morse code to help us navigate across the great Star Trek of social expression of ,“Go team!” Plus, given we’re neurodivergents how would leadership work when I’d clearly be too authoritarian for the spiritual space? I’d be the girl in the “red” obviously. And sounds like too much work for something that wouldn’t lead anywhere outside of dichotomous hate speech for an imaginary culture war that was won on a spirituality forum that had about as much impact on the world as quickly as we can say “horses ass”. I mean its possible we could create it just for the sheer fun of it however I’d much rather move towards inclusivity and generosity towards the collective in a point in time in my life in which I should in the spiritual sense just be focusing inwardly on my own developing, including to, my external strategic development. Let’s still speak about our under-representation but let’s do it more through the over-representation of our creative growth and trusting our subsequent actions from this inter-social community reference frame. Anyhow remember to love the effortless wit warrior, I’m pretty good at scrabble and boggle yes but I’ve lost nearly every game of social bingo at least on this site bar an important valuable few that feels like marshmallows on that fire those invisible elf’s are playing the flute while dancing around, visible only when taking psychedelics that I’ve yet to have my first personal trip on but will rigorously scientifically investigate to my own ends come at least past the middle of this year. I tried marijuana once, the green was just smoke and mirrors it didn’t really have an effect and my experience with recreational drugs has been very limited outside of an “overdose” on nicotine patches after hearing about their potential cognitive benefits that you yourself can research in the service of your own cognitive leisure. I only tried this once after having a reaction that couldn’t be construed as anything other than aversive. I’ve learned a lot of lessons over these two years that I wish I knew at the beginning of two years ago or so and that’s the mentality I now take moving forward concerning any further ongoing personal development; R & D research and development centre for self actualisation work anyone? 666 The Beast, “at least that’s what she said” (My girlfriend Laura... More to come here though concerning my relationship circumstances now...). Epilogue to this Community Introduction A deeper and subtler undertone here I hope is captured by your own intuitive cognition the absence of which has been of great concern and a developer of interpersonal conflict on this forum that I’m hoping I’ve brought some balance to. An ironic point in light of why I’ve needed to make this post just post two years later since I was first born onto this forum, which is why I didn’t make it haha (too subtle and deep); “Don’t make it too deep and subtle Frankie Sinatra, you’ll lose the audience and the popcorn and coke will have less complementary value for the hypnotic effect of each frame change. You’ve heard of Facebook trying to harvest child minds right Frankie well this is you and me jointly tapping into the limbic system of a reptiles frontal lobial ass and what that means is they think they’re thinking and using their brain while watching this film Frankie but really its just like them ‘thinkin’ they’re driving but really their tyres are just ‘spinnin’ in the one spot and we control what video is projected onto the film they view on their windscreen.” “What’s that Frankie you don’t understand? Frankie just follow the lines on the script. Okay people let’s go, let’s move it already I got my jam caravan coming soon on set its only going to be here for a few doughnuts before leaving again.” “Frankie no, I said stick to the fucking script, leave the degree of improvisation you want to express in your life while you’re here with me for how you spread your jam on our free scones in the lunchroom pal I paid top dollar for you, so you’re jam to squeeze in one direction minus the salad dressing of your ‘improvisations’, the lines on the dan script. Okay Frankie let’s move it let’s go.”. At least in creating this post here I can just copy and paste the link to help speed up the process of generating closure for the next “angry wannabe Yoda” working to resolve their own dissonances of me on their own personal life canvas. One of the film scenes that comes to mind when I reflect on how many of my experiences on this forum and the other felt: Ha! Somehow I became the lead, ink, colour or whatever else on their artistic piece, film or musical composition whichever analogous creative domain you wish to reference here, don’t ask me how but here I am. Dotting away on their canvas now no longer blank and so you too, on mine. Don’t mess yours up and I’ll naturally take more pride with mine as an instinctual response, that’s just how I’ve noticed my subconscious tends to respond. I guess that can work both ways and this will be at least part of my wisdom moving forward. For those looking for more emotional depth don’t forget my Heart journal, this is just where I am right now in my spiritual development and the development of narrative following from narrative, consciousness has to roll with the punches as it creates the world that it interfaces with for its recursive movement forward, inside and outside however it finds the necessity “Give me an *A*… Give me an *S*… Give me an *S*…. Give me a *H*… Give me an *O*… Give me an *L*… Give me a *?*… Goooooooooooooooooo *bleep!*”.... Haha, don't worry we've got more in depth narratives to come I promise. Quite sincerely, one of the films I loved some years back and haven’t seen since was The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, a reference to close out my initial references to both Yoda and Yogi without needing a Star Wars scene to finish this out. There’s many other similar movies I could have spontaneously chosen other than this one, Finding Forrester being one in light of how I began this introduction, that scene with Professor Robert Crawford questioning Jamal Wallace in class about plagiarism that never occurred happening more than once in my life in both writing, music, abstract work and otherwise, minus the lamentation I wish I’d had on some of the inner reactions I shouldn’t have been submissive to as a younger adolescent and even in adulthood … But the instantaneous love spell neural transmission was for in this environment of things for The Way of The Peaceful Warrior, and too of course just about as quickly as one could say “Horses ass.” Yeah, heh. His injury reminding me of the motorbike accident I never want to have, ha maybe one day the high speed road will get me. Concerning many other pathways in my life this was a great sentiment at the 4:25 min/sec mark including even with respect to our personal relationships where there is mutual accord to be found, a cord between the the tetherable that somehow found its untetheredness, however briefly and too with our larger existential sentiments towards life including the love of life itself which in life always begins from the perspective of the openness of consciousness vs the rigidity of experience setting in too deeply, “a warrior/princess does not give up what he/she loves Dan, he/she finds the love in what he/she does.” And to add in light of these further meanings, *what he/she is*. I know that’s difficult, I really do. Deeply do. But we’re all here united under an even deeper cause than what I’ve so far mentioned, to show each other in whatever small way, how we can do just that. Let’s not teach each other the opposite in this space, let’s keep this space sacred for the betterment of that greater grace in light of the larger battle we all know deep down we’re all a part of working to win the life war on. Stay a fucking badass. “The Walk of June, One Last Goodbye" “The Walk of June” A memory so continuously reborn In the fire of Dune A cemetery of knowing, religiously James Bourne This Mentat Got here only by Heart-attack Not a seer without the lonely sky Smarts, more than just, in tact Living freer but only with devout, at least 8 to 11 more, 30 day goodbyes No rotting leader, can withstand, this clear open divergent attack Darts of clarity, midnight justice and the clearer suns appreciation of the morning abstract dew, beating the combative lie Competition against the many inner gravity, the ego’s narcissist both living and seen right through this 7 day workers protest; mismanaged government; sack 1963 Luther’s Dream and the hellish 46 to 56 Blackest Plague is to Dune’s 1964 Liberty, Cognitive 10 commandments to Uniting all the inner states unto one law abiding cry Balancing chaos through intense statutes, this citizen of eclipsing cognitive seasons The hardness of this capitalistic economy formed from this visionary of the blind and bound together through cognitive copper, steel, gold, cast iron, all seasoned excuses of spring, summer, autumn and winter, die Becoming a future icon of this one continually reforming country of independence, all separation, only in the Walk of Dune, laws reasons One, ally Unto one Self governance, that flame of the Ephesians Kneel figuratively unto Paul, to stall a dream further away from hell, one creative goodbye Seen from the opposing lighthouse from the future, imagination becomes the age of reason “The walk of Dune”, 11 more and then some, soon; death on the ignorance of the other, for one open eye One devoted sky Knows how to make running the river wild gods brainchild on the ground of earth; avoiding political treason From Dune to Bourne to Babe Ruth, one baseball flying over for the Ages to falsify This 666 beast and his 777 angelic cousin, one last goodbye to more than 11 more, 12 too and then multiplied more than 10 more times and the grassroots that have grown over and seen right through, The Age of Imagi-Reason, and its greater who From Dune to Bourne, Eyes Wide “Cognitively” Shut, those Starlings coordination swarms One Cast Away Brain and the memory of her held in a lock for difficult times; binds Jerusalem reborn and Portman’s sensitivity, nut Usain’s Bolte; illumination crimes This enlightenment, one last goodbye One single, open eye “The Walk of June” slowly becomes known as, “The Walk of Dune” It’s finish like palm trees just over the hills outcry, Soon From the blackest death for sentiences greatest high, This is one last, goodbye Enlightenment’s eclipse before the suns full moon Remembering as intensely as if all of time had to monitor itself in order for the universe to exist at all, doubt; the fall guy “The Walk of 30 day and at least 9 to 11 more; from Liberty’s boom to bust, the piercing razor sharp sight on the light beyond the doom of June” Sickening fiery rays spread out over the blistering mind splitting days, abacus left to right and across 4D Egyptian pyramid space sanity outside of fermenting Giza’s High’s without a trace, this is one last, Goodbye For One Open Golden Eye More to come, a Part 3 tomorrow or so.
  17. I hope that made you feel big Carl --- by giving me undeserved 2 points. You don't get that you're just immature. Others do though. Your site is filled with delusion and you don't tend to it enough you just let it go on including the delusion projected onto me, so what do you expect me to do? You care about keeping users more than about actually running this place as a personal development site. The educational background of your users is extremely low, including their neuro-divergence aka their capacity for creative and intellectual thought so of course I'm going to be producing sentences that are too abstract for people that subsequently fall outside their range of comprehension. It is not my responsibility to care about their inability here outside of how I may potentially help or how I potentially need to defend myself because affirmative action isn't taken on ensuring proper fairness with respect to the attacks I have had to put up with. I need to grow as a being as well, if I'm not stretching myself cognitively, emotionally and otherwise out of "fear" that it may put others out of their comfort zone this place no longer serves its purpose. I scored in the top 1 percent on the GAMSAT which rigorously both tests reading comprehension and writing ability, so I think I'm pretty much in the clear there sir. Gifted people are frequently forced to apologise for their abilities by dumbing themselves down for people they've never even met in their life because it "gripes" them. Yes, I have had some frustrations that have come out in some of my posts, I do not deny this, however I'm sick and tired of this environment where there is a clear tailoring to the mentally disenfranchised which invariably compromises our voice on reality and thus, our personal growth. They, are narcissists / that is very narcissistic behaviour to try to force/influence someone to adapt like that. I'll be done with this place for a while . I need to grow as a being as well, if I'm not stretching myself cognitively, emotionally and otherwise out of "fear" that it may put others out of their comfort zone this place no longer serves its purpose. All in all. Folk. I say fuck these guys. Yal know where the action is. My two journals. For those with decent reading comprehension you know where the action "is at" and where we take personal development to the next level. This is what happens when you try to jump into bed with the zombies thinking they have your back. I make it my personal promise to my readers from now on not to insult you in any way shape or form in any indirect to direct way in my journal space as well as promising that my writing ability is never dumbed down in any way while also reflective of my potential. MOVING FORWARD, WE'RE GOING TO BE CREATING SOMETHING ENTIRELY NEW TOGETHER THIS FORUM LIVES AT A COMPLETELY INFERIOR LEVEL COMPARED TO WHAT WE'RE CAPABLE OF AS HUMAN BEINGS WE WILL REALISE THE HEIGHTS OF THIS THROUGH MY JOURNAL AND VIA OSMOSIS YOU WILL REACH HIGHER HEIGHTS THROUGH MY HEIGHTS AND TOGETHER WE WILL LIVE THIS LIFE THROUGH INSPIRATION AS WELL AS LEARNING WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO ACTUALISE THIS ON NOT ONLY A DAY TO DAY BASIS BUT A MOMENT TO MOMENT BASIS WE ARE NEURO-DIVERGENTS, WE RELEASE THE SHACKLES PUT ONTO OUR MINDS AND HEARTS BY REGULAR SOCIETY AND REALISE OUR HEIGHTS AS SENTIENT UNIVERSAL BEINGS TO CONTINUALLY NEW IMAGINATIVE HEIGHTS. Haha she created this just in the last 11 hours or so. So I made this digital avatar of myself by the way using MidJourney we all know about, I was motivated to try this out after I saw a digital version of someone else in this thread. His shoulders aren't as wide and he's not as better looking overall. For some reason, I think its fascinating about my personality. I'd rather have a lesser version than the "full version" of me or rather that of course its pretty darn difficult getting it exactly like me so I have to choose the left or right hand side. I think its a pretty fascinating psychological mechanism though that I'll analyse more deeply. Partly, I think maybe its because I don't want a version that's "BETTER" (as those variations do come out) than me as that would be worse as then I'd feel I was being inauthentic. It's interesting. Cool variation but regardless. Here's how you do it: 1. Upload an image of yourself to MidJourney. Go from there I'll let you figure the rest out. I've been doing my best to create an orca whale / universal being avatar in combination and its been pretty difficult to get the variation I want but I'll get there. This is like well timed too.
  18. Sentience is the consciousness act of learning itself.
  19. I said you don't deserve the respect of my response. That's not a personal attack. If you want to review your own history you personally attack others including my own friends with troll comments so reprimand yourself. I see that this is perhaps a trap because you know I never back down from simply stating the truth. I already said you can give me a warning. You're the type that's shown you abuse your power so be it. I'll take the *hit*.
  20. Haha no matter how many points you give me you have no jurisdiction here sir, you've lost your "respect" points there well and truly. Don't say stuff like that to me in light of your past antics. Peace.
  21. So far the record is I get more compliments than put downs that as far as I've seen it have only stemmed from Dunning-Kruger and the manipulation that can follow this given its all correlated with generalised psychological misperception to inadequacy; for the latter. When you've shown that you have improved your introspective ability then I'll start to take your thoughts a little more seriously. Until then you're just a little kid to me.
  22. If you're so much smarter than me all the way lower down in that insignificant non-sentient competitive mindset, can you list precisely just one thing that shows your original intelligence and we can have a conversation on it just to put this to rest? Will you do that for us? KH2 wants to challenge me even though there is just pure bliss here with universal oneness, let's see if he actually steps up to the plate fully or continues to just want to be a keyboard warrior. Moderators do not give him any warnings. So what do you want to do? Do you want to drop the act and just be real with us or do you want to really do this thing aye? We both know how this is going to end so just stop being a little kid bro.
  23. Interesting post, thanks for going to the effort of writing all of that! It's like searching in the dark abyss here most of the time to find more in depth thoughts so for it to just wind up at my doorstep like this is a good thing! That's what stories are made of. I guess kids these days don't read books, they think books are like lots of joined text messages.
  24. Stop with the justifications bro I'm not reading all that crap and I doubt nearly anyone else is.