Mixcoatl

I believe in universe but for the sake of peace I sometimes say I believe in God, knowing I'm referring to the universe. I sometimes say "who cares?" in order to avoid exhausting conversations.

I remember that in my last Bufo trips, somewhere after the peak, this phrase would arise: "This is the Truth!" But then I wonder... Who was saying that? There was no "me" left. So why did words appear at all? Why did that declaration —so absolute, so final— emerge from the silence? And now, from this sober state, I can’t say the same. I barely remember what happened there. Just fragments. Just echoes. But something inside me was scorched by that fire. And even if I can’t hold it in words, I can’t pretend I was never there.

Exactly. That's what I mean. I have to accept that is not a matter of being fool or smart, directly. In some sense it is! It's like I can't go trying to socialize and try to talk about music theory when others just want to talk about sex or other stuff that is the common interest in average people. But I have to recognize that I really have a problem that is anxiety and overthinking about the situation and as you said, emotional maturity. That's one thing I am working on a lot in this stage of my life. Thanks for letting me see that.

I'm not here to explain why I consider myself a very intelligent person — just take my word for it. The point is, it has led to a lifetime of rejection. Girls break up with me every time I start revealing the way I think. New people quickly lose interest when I talk about philosophy. Old friends have stopped reaching out. It feels like this world is simply not designed to integrate true difference... and that realization is deeply painful. Have you found a way to socialize without sacrificing your true self?

My post express a TRUE necessity that I have. What's wrong on saying I am a very intelligent person? I AM!! and it's not arrogance IT'S RECOGNITION. Ppl here smoked a hit of DMT and they feel they can correct others as if spirituality was orthopedic. Who is more arrogant? Maybe I'm wrong on making a correlation between intelligence and my pain of not being able to socialize (thanks to the one that let me see that) and precisely that is the meaning of my post.

Thanks, I know it could be a problem to say that, but also, that's definitely my strength

Quoting Sadhguru is not very smart. hahaha. And that is so stupid to think that I have to think I am fool to be smart. I'm very pissed of this narrative of fake humbleness. In the other hand, when you don't recognize the validity of your intelligence, they tell you that you have the impostor syndrome. For me, it is very wise to recognize my strengths but also my weaknesses, that's why I'm opening myself in this forum.

Thank you. There is a lot of bad aspects of myself that I'm still not aware of. This little guidelines helps me to see more

Then shouldn't I recognize my smartness? Nor my foolness when being social? I'm exposing two main features that are related. It's crazy how in the forum there's so arrogant people pretending to be so smart when they answer. It's the same, and it's ok!! Ask Erich Fromm. Ask also Gura why he is so arrogant

Why not? I'm pissed of that fake humbleness!!

Thanks for saying this! I appreciate

People listen to Leo Gura, Spira, Eckhart, Spinoza, etc. And they just repeat...

Making fun of how ppl just repeat and repeat the things Non-duality says and they forget the artistic side of the being. I like your post as a beautiful poem. I don´t care if it is right or wrong. We all know you are describing the epiphany you had! If we have to be very strict, it would be so wrong to use language in this topic. hahaha.

he is not. he is being poetic about his experience and that's ok.

Absolutely. One day I had an epiphany when I was locking my house door. It was completely unexpected. I had a revelation, just by seeing the shining of the lock of my house. And the best thing is that I realized that this happens to a random guy like you and I.

By some definition out there: Death is lack of consciousness. If that is the case, you will never know. But that definition is inconsistent. From a biological approach, death is the end of any homeostasis in your body (including ego), it doesn't necessarily mean the end of consciousness, probably "you" will be aware of how your body gets rotten after the end of homeostasis and "you" will know how death "feels" like, but in that case, as you said, that "you" is not the "ego you". probably is not a colorful experience that you are having when you are "alive". If that's the case, then you are right: there is no difference between Life and Death. And in that state, nobody cares bc you are pure presence!... I guess!

So you mean taking an extra dosage?

You say this bc you are taking for granted that you are now alive. Then you are not suspecting if you are alive or not, you are having the certainty of being alive.

Yes!! I'm not socially smart at all!! that's why I am suffering. I'm really smart in music and philosophy. But this kind of smartness is sort of useless in current social life.

I don't mean that only stupid people can interact with others. It's more beyond that thing. As Erich Fromm said: "Those who remain in the flock feel that the one who has broken free constitutes a threat to their own safety; therefore, they feel the need to either bring them back into the fold or destroy them." I feel that is easier to be a "normal" person that chooses everyday a life without questioning anything, just following the current... They seem to have everything fixed in social life. However, the people that have suffered from ostracism is people that have offered something really deep to the human being, even when they are not recognized in their lifetimes... there are a lot of examples of people like this.

That's the thing, the more rejection I get, the more masks I wear. how to break with this?

If the universe were just a blind mechanism without consciousness, pain and pleasure would have no reason to exist at all. It’s absurd that reductionists still believe pain is just an illusion. In a purely mechanical universe, there would be no need for feeling — no place for it. No machine requires agony or joy to function. To think that pain 'just appears' as some meaningless extra is not only stupid; it’s a betrayal of the very experience that proves we are alive.

I came back to my home country (México) a few days ago and decided to do some 5. So I want to share with you my experience. I was sitting and started to vape some regular DMT. I started to have very weird black-colored visuals, after that I started to feel numb all my body and my hands while they were kind of disappearing. Following act, I decided that was the moment to vape the bufo. I can barely remember what happened in that moment but it was like my body started to rust in very colorful stains until the point I was not even conscious of my body, just the sounds in my surroundings that were clearly and without any doubt pure consciousness. The rest is very unexplainable but it's like I became everything and my ears were in all the space. I could hear to the voices of the distant neighbors that usually i can't hear. I was aware of everything but in a completely new way. It was just beautiful ❤️, full of tranquility, happiness and peace. Words are simply useless to try to explain this experience. After that I vaped again DMT and I felt pretty much the same but this time I was a fractal and I was aware of visuals rather than sounds. I think it was not a high dose and I'd love to experience it again with a higher dose. But anyways... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ My lesson learned about this trip is that Everything is completely alright and it will always be and it always was. There's nothing to worry about. I can't disappear, there is nowhere to go.

Well, just a few months ago I was watching some Neuroscience videos and I found a channel called "professor Dave explains" which is basically a scientific guy that makes compendiums of science topics. I made a comment on one of his videos and he just answered me: " you know nothing. go watch my neuroscience videos and learn something". I also discovered he made a video where he criticizes Leo Gura's channel. He says something like: "i detect charlatans and destroy them". My point is the following. Is science dedicated to be an ego authority that aims to destroy other beliefs? I deeply feel like nowadays this is the spirit of science. The worst thing is that this guy criticizes so bad spirituality, accusing it to be just a bunch of dogmas. But he is in fact doing it: he is blindly believing all the things science is saying and repeating them like a ? without testing them himself. He criticizes reiki for being an arrogant activity but in one of his videos he says science has the legitimate authority to generate knowing. The main problem with scientific people is the they think spiritual people are against them but it's completely the opposite. ? Ok I just felt hurt for his comment and for the things he says about reiki because I have many reikista friends and I wanted to express it elsewhere.

I personally believe every moment is the truth no matter what you're doing. Even when you are elaborating a lie, that's the truth.