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@MatteO22 To be quite frank, these questions don't mean anything to me personally... Gender-wise I always did whatever I wanted or not wanted despite what society or my parents told me how a woman is supposed to act or be like, and I never felt bad about it. I still can't relate to what you're saying, but maybe if you gave some concrete examples of these "insecure aspects"..? -------- Does that mean both of you also experience this gender and sexuality stripping during trips?

Ok I guess I'm going against the grains here, but imo why having doubts of going open-relationship when literally BOTH you and your gf are liking that idea? Why backing down at gaining more experience in anything especially when your soul is craving for the knowledge? Why stay stagnant when you could learn more by going out of your comfort zone? Worst that can happen, one of you starts liking someone else, you guys break up and you lose this precious relationship. But there are life lessons learned in there that you wouldn't have gain while staying at the same place, so it is really that bad honestly? Maybe it's not even that precious because it's literally the only relationship you've had. You were only 18 when it started. It's basically the best and the worst you've had, when in fact it could go way worst or way much better. You wouldn't know unless you explore. Or maybe the open-relationship doesn't turn as good as you both imagined and you discover you prefer each other in the end and it ultimately reinforce your relationship. Who knows? You'll only know by trying it out yourself. Just make sure to settle down rules together you both are comfortable with, including being 100% honest with each other at any moment of the game.

Could you elaborate this part more, with examples? I've been unravelling my mind for hours to find out where I could have any of what you're talking about. Maybe inauthentic expression of self could be make sense, but gender or attraction insecurity you speak of I can't relate.

You can also read the comments in there some give different insights

I guess not.. It all makes sense now

That is why they cannot get girls, they unawarely root their problem and put their focus at the wrong place. +1

You can also try relying on experience rather than research. Researches you did are not done onto you specifically, but onto some random other humans that functions differently than you. There's no needless working in trying to find what works for you. Dry skin is usually a sign of dehydration. Maybe your body needs more who knows. You have test it for yourself.

Have you tried increasing your water intake? I'm just 48kg and I drink at least 2 liter a day

@aaalex lol omg why does he end every of his sentences with "...." as if it's gonna be his last text each time and he's about to fade away but clearly he's not ? cringy af ahahah @MatteO22 lol "desperation and total potatoe-ness" ? I don't like blocking people. Thxfully most guys eventually stop after I express disinterest once or few times. But I had to block the "So I guess I get the silent treatment!" guy because after the texts you saw, he kept sending a text every 3 days, literally talking alone. After the block, he went onto another social media platform to ask why I would blocked him, that he was enjoying chatting with me (he was chatting alone for weeks...), and that I was "ruining a nice growing friendship". The delusion, man... I couldn't believe this guy was 42 years old.... not 12, FORTYTWO. He was known to be experienced, yet he was that guy who says nothing when I'm in front of him, only to run back home to ask me out on text... seriously wtf

@Shin So this guy insisted to stay friends after I rejected him. When I did that - be friends (therefore rejecting any futher advances) he had the audacity to say I was wasting his time. So it went like this Now that's needy. Yes OF COURSE! ? After weeks of ignoring you can only mean I'm down to fuck. Obviously.

Ah no haha, i screwed up the order of the images placement here lol it was in context. This is not that needy compared to what other shit I get from other men. The issue was not neediness here it was the boundary crossing thing. Here i edited back in

I'd like to add in to the examples too. That was few years ago so I was still kinda clueless. But I remember inexplicably needing to create some space from this guy, so this the first subtle boundary crossing that comes in mind. After our first official hangout, I was teasing him about his faith and strong belief in astrology after he failing to guess my astrology twice. What I wished he wouldve done is either tease back or laugh it off with me, or show me some receipts he kept talking about. ("Your water" was an astrology inside joke, reference of Your receipts/evidence) Instead his answer : spanking me I was joking around astrology and he JUST had to go there... In the moment I laughed it off because I was clueless. He spurted this suggestion out of nowhere and took on this spank challenge on his own.. And while I rejected casually and wanted to safely go back talking about astrology, he personally commited himself to this self-prompted challenge I never agreed to. And he started to escalate from there. Could you tell which type of boundary was being crossed there? I had the creepy feeling he just needed an excuse to get physical and he was being overly aggressive about it. Next morning I woke up.. literally and figuratively. I woke up to "... Did he just invite himself to get naughty with my ass..?" And he even called me "beyotch" a couple of time as a joke when I was trying to tease him... Somehow this was not sitting well with my conscious. So the next day I grew cold towards him. I unconsciously needed to create a sort of wall between us. Then I realized how he wasn't giving me enough space either. He texted me on Line. I wouldn't look up. Then he texted me on sms to look up his Line msgs + insisting to call me... That was crossing my boundaries in a subtle way by not respecting my time and space. From that I followed my instinct to never meet him again. ------ Another subtle way I can think of on top of my head, (@Etherial Cat kinda talked about it), is when a guy is too pushy in his arguments, it usually comes with a subtle aggressive attitude (Purposely invalidate you or your feelings instead of trying to understand you, in order to push his argument forward). In this instance, he's taking up too much space at the cost of hers, and it almost "feels like" he's forcing his way onto her but with arguments. These examples all boils down to the woman not feeling safe physically and/or emotionally, which urges her to close off.

@Shin oh ok to me it was shadow work. because there's a clear lack of femininity and empathy around here that it's been creating a masculine shadow among his followers. The subforum you're suggesting here tackles divine feminity, so the thread you created is highly related to me

@Shin I got confused what you were talking about. But yeah obviously not talking about this current one, but the ones you created in the dating subforum (1 days pre + post data lost*)

Hat off to you @Shin, That's exactly what's missing in this forum. I mean it just shows: You created 1 thread for this, it exploded overnight before the data loss happened. You created a second one and no other thread is anywhere as popular as this one. (Except megathreads) This thread is almost a subforum section on its own. Lots of people finds refuge there from the egocentric masculine aggressivity around here. You can feel the energy in there is different already. A lot of eye-opening topics tossed around within this single thread. Clearly there's a demand for more. It would create a great balance in this forum. Edit: @Leo Gura ? Lolwut.

Or they normalized it to the point they can't even tell the difference anymore. Also possible some of these women you speak of were just innocently clueless and didn't pick up at least half of the desire surrounding her. That's what happened throughout literally most of my life. I also trivialized all the incidents that happened before. Now I look back, it was just so blatant obvious everywhere, but I filtered it all out through my innocent mind.

Well guys this was truly fascinating. We went from women's fear in the streets, to fear of trusted friends who turned rapey, to some rapey men in general, to defining consent, to mixed signals and balance, from safety to pleasure, to fe/male's attraction & sexuality and bj, to Alpha and beta, to aggressive comments, with an indian simp story as bonus What a journey. I say we all deserve a good margarita or lemonade

Sometimes you don't really see/feel how mean or aggressive a comment is, until it's addressed directly to you, or your point of view.

@Raphael Are you into superfoods? For brain performance & power, I like to have Lion's Mane (a mushroom) and Rhodiola (flower plant). You can also supplement those in capsules. Check it up

@Harlen Kelly A woman is naturally inclined to nurture and please her man the moment she fell in love with him. It was so obvious I didn't think I needed to validate this fact for you. When my man did all the right moves to attract me and I fell in love, I spent hours restudying online the male's genitelia all over again - how to give the best bj, and different bed techniques to please him. I learned countless cooking and baking recipes just to please him outside bed too. I'm constantly on alert to bring new kinds of surprises in his life, in gifts, trainings or activities. I just find it funny though that it's like Here's a thread to understand women better! Women, you're encouraged to share your experience. Woman: *Shares her experience* Man: You're bias. try to understand men. ? oh ok

@Harlen Kelly Sigh... Again can't believe I have to explain this, but mimicking is invalid here. We're not comparing men with men. We're literally sexual polar opposite. Obviously speaking in general terms - A man doesn't need to "feel safe" to be able to "surrender his body" to a woman in order to be turned on. I mean even if a woman tried to assault you, most of the time you could just push her away in a laugh. It can't be done the other way around. What is men's sexually need? A good fuck or a hot woman. What is women's sexual need? A fucking list is what you get! ? It's just not the same. It's much harder to please a woman and turn her on. The man who's chasing is usually already turned on and ready like a microwave. What is left to do then is to tuned in to her desire and needs in order to turn her on in return. How do you do that? You emotionally satisfy her, let go of your own desire momentarily to fully tune in to hers. When a man can do that, it proves to the woman that you care, and that she can trust you with her body, because she knows you're perceptive enough to stop at the any cue if she doesn't want anymore, no matter how strong is your desire. ... Please tell me you understand this difference.. Edit: Iike I'm not even saying that just for the sake of women, it also goes for men's sake. If you wanna get laid without raping or coercing a woman into it, that's how you go, I'm giving you pointers here!

I can't believe I have to state the obvious*, but male sexuality and female sexuality doesn't work the same way.......

I was speaking in sexual terms. Are you just gonna care about your pleasure and your dick? Won't you care about her pleasure as well? If you're able to tune in to her desire before yours is a good way to make a woman feel safe. How else do you think a woman can trust you with her body?

@Preety_India I'm myself to be blamed to have seek validation when I used to lack self-esteem and not know better as a teen. But I ALWAYS made it clear when I didn't want the sex. Yes I wanted to play around. No I didn't want the sex. I verbally and physically expressed that. How the man takes it was another story. I found that the men that have a higher EQ or the men that actually cares about you are the ones who easily pick it up and get the right picture of what's going on. @Lucas-fgm I understand... I also made many mistakes as a teen, even as a young adult and still sometimes do. Most important is we learn from it.

I always felt the term "mixed signal" is just another way to put the blame and responsibility on the woman, rather than just being a man who's emotional intelligent enough to pick up the cues, putting his desires on the side to tune it to her desire and needs (Because her pleasure is his pleasure). I don't know any women who actually give mixed signals. As a woman myself, I can tell when a woman is just looking for a good time, or looking to be validated, without sex. Or whether she wants the sex or not. I've seen it. It's baffling. Somehow some men just don't pick it up, probably delusionally projecting their desire onto her like @Eternity pointed it out. Omg... you make me think of these guy friends I had to deal with v