Cathal

meditation is not going to bypass your mental issues but it will definitely help you see more clearly. a person who doesn't meditate will just go on being trapped by identifying with there thoughts and emotions but being able to be grounded in observing will help you take the right action - but it will not bypass at all any of your unresolved shit maybe try to reframe what you value so meditating even 30 minutes a day makes a lot more sense that what you actually do

sorry to hear you have to deal with that, fuck i understand it pretty well - all i would say is it's important to show your mother she can't just take her shit out on you. that's up to you to figure out maybe you must learn to use violence if necessary there will be a day you'll get out of it and it's best to just do what you have and leave it there don't let her behaviour cause you to do the same and don't let her step on you.

forgiving yourself is more of an understanding that goes beyond the dualistic perception of a story in your head about you and other people that you or them were done something right or wrong to a seperate you and is the recognition of just sin/error, just mistakes. loving kindness isn't enough because you are coming from a place of wanting to get rid of negative emotions that's why you keep coming back to them. this guilt and pain sticks because you still in somehow believe there was something inherently wrong, bad, evil about what happened, what you have done or what another has done. you must see your innocence until you can truly let go, that's all i have to say because i broke my head over trying to forgive and realizing your innocence is a lot of work - that you nor anyone has done anything wrong, ever. true compassion has to be seen within yourself

Do you think your intuition is the guiding intelligence of you as essence unobstructed by ego desires as you keep taking on forms/life to life?

@Nadosa do you think you don't need to work on your experience of the character/personality?

what exactly does self-love mean to you? because when i'm doing self-love i feel like i'm torturing myself sometimes, confronting my shadows and whatever the fuck

metta has been invaluable to me, I describe it to myself as duality dissolver, you should notice when you are sending whole heartedly intented love to people who you may think have wrong you or you have old attachments to, it can be a very intense experience sometimes and remind you to smile at all of confusion it's also just a powerful practice all around and very easy to be with a feeling, i think i can fall deeper faster into stages relaxation by softening tension and resistance with the loving kindness intention just having that intention to bring kindness to a heavy heart will bring out whatever needs to come out, you don't have to feel any kind of warmth and infact i spent months at the beginning just feeling all kinds of painful cold energy and tensions and just bleh

@Ulax seeing your innocence clearly through a realization you can see it in everyone else and there's a great sadness but also great love and that has been the most transformative thing so far @Breakingthewall yes, this i also remember realizing this it was quite funny. everything is exactly 'just as it is' and that's all, all just is and ends there. it's beautiful

@PurpleTree no Just become aligned with your authenticity because the thing is just see it like this, whether you try hard or give up will make 0 difference on the ratio of people you make comfortable or uncomfortable and the beauty in it is once you talk/meet with people while not hiding anything you feel far more relaxed and accepted and you can actually enjoy company and all of these fears don't bother you like they do when you're trying so hard

The belief systems around you getting your needs met. As in that part of you that thinks you need to have/be something you're not to get what you desire, there's nothing wrong with anything you have written but at the same time you need to understand yourself better if you want to stop falling into your patterns over and over

shamanic breathing broda If you want to join a free online class, try here although it's more emotional healing the things people describe doing this is pretty much flicking on your inner lsd

you're lucky she puts herself out there so you can do some shadow work on yourself and stop projecting your shitty tiny self to everything

the pleasure of being a victim

just play call of duty instead for real though right now the world doesn't need more soldiers fighting me vs you, we need people to fight to stop the fight of me vs you

the buddha said there were millions of buddhas before him and there will be millions after jesus was like i am the son of god, follow me for salvation - that was utter blashphemy to the people around him

Fuck the mental health system and find a real healer, a person realized as a healer who can actually help you

@Irina Wolf sounds like you're learning the lesson, compassion for those who hurt us when we realize they just project the very same pain they experience - it transcends all the pleasures you get from getting a one up - revenge, vengeful, superiority, definitely feels good. but true compassion really sets you free

@RMQualtrough I feel that lol

Just a story about skyrocketing to heaven and plummeting into hell. The story is basically about why you should be very critical towards the systems you are getting involved in and questioning the way you assume the people you adopt as authority figures because of there status in soceity know what best for you is what is actually best for you (going to psychiatry, getting evaluated, pharmacueticals, psychology) As in really explore and think for yourself are these societal systematic mental health systems actually going to help me change myself? There are so many options for you it's really crazy, the real question tho is more like what are your belief systems regarding what you can and cannot do for yourself

@Gianna never heard of that term, yeah i remember it like it happened a moment ago it's i was shedding a both within a body and all that was left was a very intense feeling of limitless love but it felt like i couldn't contain and was just endless and racing in expansion and i was losing my fucking mind. but hey at least it gave me my first real clue of what i was looking for

like imagine you lay down on a bed, get up, lay down, get up for hours on end without even caring because it feels so intense/good, mania is the worst/best time of your life, you can see in both those ways haha

If you want to conceptualize life purpose beyond the sense it is just the activity you take in that is not based on any attachments or you could say the desire of truth - as in you know what is right and wrong intuitively beyond concepts. If your purpose was truly to raise the consciousness of humanity like you said you wouldn't give a shit about the means or the utilitarian purposes you must fulfill, if you care about the utilitarian aspect it's always, in every scenario an attachment to some'thing' in consciousness and not based on observing as in you're getting identified with things Just confront yourself and try to stabilize yourself in what your heart wants and stop avoiding feelings that feel bad along the path otherwise if you fall down every time you take a step youll get fuck all done

emotional attachments to what you think is right or wrong dogmatize it

You never truly found your life purpose then, If you found your life purpose what your colleagues do or don't do would make no difference and just from what I see I really think you need to see more clearly why you are experiencing those emotions because you are essentially gaslighting yourself because of your belief what you identified to be a life purpose It is just a projection of thoughts and that's why it's so illusionary and making you suicidal - your emotional attachment to a thing with no substance to it/foundation in reality