kinesin

booba

@tatsumaru Try not to think of it in terms of 'submissiveness' and 'assertiveness', those words are too strongly associated with human behaviours. As forces, the masculine is an outwardly expressing force, while the feminine is an inwardly recieving force. When you put your hands together in a praying gesture and then move them both to the left, your right hand is in the masculine position and your left is feminine. When you move your hands to the right, the left becomes masculine and the right feminine. I can't give an answer regarding Vajrayogini specifically because I'm not familiar with it.

That's wonderful to hear that her cancer is going away My own mother has incurable cancer, so I understand what you've been through. As to what actually happened there - I have a few thoughts, though no definitive answers. 1: cancer does indeed have a detectable smell, and it's possible that this is what you were noticing. 2: it's possible that you may have been experiencing a form of synesthesia called emotion-smell synesthesia, where your brain subjectively processed the knowledge of death in the house as a smell. By clearing the 'smell', you may have actually been clearing out an emotional spectre of death. 3: various ancient peoples believed in 'miasma theory', which was the idea that many illnesses are caused by 'bad air' which in many cases manifested as a smell, and many of the treatments people performed at the time resembled the actions you've been taking. 4: there is a phenomena which isn't currently well-understood by medical science although it is acknowledged, where intention and 'hope' does appear to play some role in cancer outcomes. It is possible that the things you did actually helped via some unknown mechanism.

@Swarnim Think of it this way - there is a force within the universe which is, as you say, 'solving everything'. This force perfects things, brings harmony, brings awareness, brings everything that is good and pure - this force is what is powering the positive spiritual development process of individuals and also that of the world as a whole. The fact that this force exists doesn't mean we can just sit back and let it do its work, though. This force manifests through us, through our intentions, words and actions. The force needs us, because we are the medium through which it functions. When you try to live compassionately among others, when you do what you can to beautify and make good the things which are around you, that is the force in action. Likewise, there is an opposing, negative force which is also pulling on our actions. OP is being torn between these forces.

I agree with you, it is always possible to provide insight to another person. The main issue is one of time and effort - there are many realizations where in order to properly communicate it to another person, you might have to physically and mentally guide them through a process which doesn't even have an upper time limit. It could take many decades or more. A good teacher understands that there are many ways to prompt realizations of insight in another person. Sometimes it is enough to simply give them a description of it, other times you can tell a story or a parable, or give practical directions for them to do which may at first seem unrelated to the question, but will regardless lead them to an understanding of it.

@StarStruck That wisdom is not 'your' wisdom, it doesn't belong to you. You didn't create it, your name isn't stamped on it, you simply were blessed to realize it. It is good that you are at least aware that this repulsion is a problem which you should be seeking to overcome. If you had unambiguous, pure love for your peers, what motivation would remain to withhold such wisdom from them? You and your peers are all one, infact, you're all in the same boat. To withhold beneficial perspectives you've gained out of a bitter desire to stop your peers from benefiting from them is analogous to a situation where your left and right legs start trying to trip each other up. Who succeeds in such a circumstance? Nobody. Wisdom isn't learned in the head, though, it's learned in the 'feet'. You have to physically live through a direct experience of something in order to realize wisdom of it, and it's likely that you'll have to experience the consequences of selfishly withholding insight from others before you come to understand the folly of it.

Leo doesn't want to acknowledge publicly that he has an individual conscious experience, because he's under the misunderstanding that awakening means permanently and irretrievably overcoming that perspective and he's trying to present himself as awakened by avoiding such questions. There is too much ego, too much bitterness, impatience and snark within him which simply wouldn't be there if he was actually retaining god-realization at all times. An enlightened person doesn't look like that - an enlightened person appears humble and good-natured, unfrustrated and willing to provide answers from an egoic perspective if that's what is required to help another attain insight. Many false proclaimers of enlightenment appear to suggest that they no longer have any ability to enter into an embodied egoic state - this is a lie, motivated by their own desire to convince themselves that it is true in order to retain their egoic status as 'enlightened'. In truth to 'forget' the ego state doesn't mean racking your brain trying to remember it and being unable, it simply means that state leaves the conscious perception. It's analagous to how before reading these next words, you had 'forgotten' about the image of a pink elephant. In truth you could have brought to mind a pink elephant at any time you wanted, you've seen the meme before and it's accessible within your mind, but it simply wasn't in your awareness until I mentioned it. This is the sense in which the egoic state becomes forgotten.

@RendHeaven It goes without saying that SD categories aren't absolute, but yellow/turquoise. Many of the sentiments seen throughout this forum remind me of things I used to read on a psychedelic discussion forums - genuine insight for sure, but lacking integration.

So many of the comments on this forum are just utter bullshit. Heartless, unempathetic spiritual platitudes which are delivered without any genuine effort to educate or elucidate. The ego is palpable in these comments, though they present themselves as the most highly enlightened - the total lack of effort or care contradicts all pretenses.

@tatsumaru I came out the other side far more spiritually developed, with a whole new perspective on things. There's a quote from zen buddhism which is relevant to the process - "Before I had studied Zen for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and waters as waters. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and waters are not waters. But now that I have got its very substance I am at rest. For it's just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and waters once again as waters." Of course, being told that it'll all be okay doesn't necessarily make the process any easier. I believe it's an inherently traumatic experience, having all your norms and core categories by which your brain processes your reality stripped away. It's for the best though, but like I said, just don't do anything drastic. Don't make any big gestures or actions in the face of realising that the world is illusory and you'll be alright.

@Leo Gura Don't be so glib, Leo. Have you never been through such a state that OP described? Or have you simply forgotten what it's like? This person's going through serious psychological turmoil and the best you have to offer is to call him a 'killjoy' and basically just say get over it? That isn't right.

@tatsumaru About 10 years ago my meditation practice led to a total breakdown of form where I simply couldn't escape the perception that everything in my visual field, every thing and every person I knew were simply configurations of atoms. It lasted around 6 months and during that time the only thing which held me together was the fact that I didn't do anything drastic. I knew everything was an illusion, but I kept doing things pretty much as normal, I kept eating and sleeping, I kept hanging out with friends and family and I just tried my best to go along with things as normal. The fact is, time truly does heal all wounds and a state like that simply isn't going to last forever. So just allow time to pass, and you'll come out the other side eventually.

@Plabs This is why spiritual seekers need to disconnect themselves from worldly things. When a person makes their views publicly known and develops a 'position' or a 'system', they're effectively turning their ego into a solid object which then becomes nearly impossible to change. For me personally, part of my spiritual journey involved a period of around 8 months where I came to believe that thinking about spiritual matters was a delusional pursuit. Being a regular individual without any public reputation for being 'the spiritual guy' or anything like that, I experienced no resistance whatsoever to exploring that view for 8 months, and then eventually I rediscovered and reintegrated a much more nuanced and profound sense of spirituality. If I'd been the owner of a spirituality youtube channel with 1 million subscribers expecting at least a video a week, could I have done that? No way. If I'd put out systematic approaches to certain aspects of perception and reality, would I have the freedom to completely let go of them and explore the opposite view for a while? No way. Imo for Leo's own sake, I believe he'll have to sell Actualized at some point so that he can continue his own personal development without being trapped by expectations of consistency.

@One Day The morality of the decision depends entirely on the specifics of the action you'll be taking. If you won't tell us the action, we can't provide any appropriate advice. I respect that you're reluctant to go into detail here, so instead I'll make a suggestion so that you can approach a conclusion yourself. For the next week, spend a solid 30 minutes each day writing (in your own private document) whatever thoughts you have about the action you're considering. Make the case for it, make the case against it, write about your motivations for doing it, write about the consequences. Exploratory writing is arguably the most powerful tool a person has when it comes to developing insight, and if you do that for 7 days at the end you'll have something resembling the backbone of a detailed 10-page essay exploring every angle of the question. Once that's done, you'll understand what to do.

@Podie45 Rather than trying to come to an answer or conclusion about the ethics of fishing, instead simply recognise that your perspective has shifted. I believe that in order to develop wisdom, we have to explore as much mental territory as possible. Mental territory in this context means allowing ourselves to be fully immersed in a certain belief, for example the idea that fishing is cruel, and then forcing ourselves to fully immerse in the opposite belief. The trick is to not allow yourself to rest permanently in a specific belief - don't allow yourself to believe that it is the truth, but rather after 6 months or a year or so, force yourself to change. Only once you've fully explored and integrated both views can you gain a true understanding of the whole.

@Plabs When I see Leo's struggles, his haters who call him a cult leader, the sycophantic followers who treat him like one despite him telling them not to... one thought comes to my mind every time - thank fuck I never went down the path of turning my own spiritual development into a brand.

@r0ckyreed Before you read Aurelius, read Epictetus. Personally I believe it's quite unfortunate that Aurelius is so broadly associated with stoicism while Epictetus goes forgotten, as Aurelius was simply a guy who idolised the writings of Epictetus and wanted to be more like him. Everything good in Meditations comes directly from Epictetus. Start here - https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/epictetus/ then go here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discourses_of_Epictetus and here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enchiridion_of_Epictetus

@One Day I believe it is related, as you seem to be alluding to something like a moral question of whether it's appropriate for you to take advantage of the opportunity or not. Is it cryptocurrency? You aren't considering putting your savings into a shitcoin are you?

@Heaven Would you mind trying this method and reporting back to let us know how it went for you? I personally found it extremely effective. Here's a tip - if you feel like you have to force it to happen, that's totally normal. The sensation isn't like shaking uncontrollably from being cold, it feels like something you're in direct control over. You can start the process, you can control the intensity and you can stop it.

@Mellocean I believe it depends on the porn. If one is mindful, it's quite straightforward to know which porn is harmful to us, you can tell by the feelings it brings up within you. On the other hand still images of a generally vanilla nature? These won't cause any negative feelings or consequences unless you've been preconditioned (usually from religion or nofap) to feel shame toward all sexual images regardless of their nature.

Technically I'm not Leo, but you might as well have asked me instead. Yes I've done nofap, and for a while it was good. I enjoyed a decent amount of clarity, and it felt good to be exerting self-control. I felt empowered, undistracted and aware. Over time I came to realise that where I used to be able to enjoy masturbation without issue, after nofap it became filled with guilt and shame when I would eventually 'fail'. After nofap, masturbating started to cause within me all of the negative symptoms which nofappers often link to masturbation. This struggle stayed with me for around 2 years. Within the past year, I've been able to deprogram myself from nofap, and now I'm once again able to enjoy masturbation without any negative consequences whatsoever. I realised that self-repression isn't the way.

I'm just gonna roll with the vibe of the thread - Can you see the eternal dance of creation?

@Kevin256 How is your breathing? Do you utilise your entire diaphragm while breathing, or is it quite shallow? Do you ever breathe through your mouth? Have you ever been checked out for sleep apnea?

@Leo Gura What prompted a response such as this?

Your old atheist materialist assumptions are here in full force, Leo. Such statements based on broad stereotypes are both unhelpful and unrealistic. You aren't speaking about any real people here, you're only displaying to us your own preconceptions about illusory categories of people.