spiritual memes

@Leo Gura How do I do this without being creepy. Like whats something i can say?

@Leo Gura How do i get to this bit? I always feel a kind of sexual shame

I quit porn and masturbation a few weeks ago and I noticed more energy and confidence. However my life just feels completely empty. I lowkey think I have depression. I'm losing interest in the things I used to enjoy and I feel emotionally drained. Hope its just temporary

@Vlad_ Try mindfully experiencing the sexual urges without resistance, letting them flow through your body. It worked wonders for me

yikes

@Mosess makes more sens than what Leo is saying

@Ramu bruh i literally said that consciousness dreams up all of existence. very materialist of me...

@Leo Gura Again, I agree, but you're not very clear on what 'you' means. The limited egoic self is clearly not all there is considering it's just a concept. The only thing that exists is consciousness/God which is equally 'spiritual memes (me)' as it is Leo Gura and everyone else in that all identities are imagined by consciousness. My limited human experience is just as imaginary as other peoples experiences since consciousness (the real I) dreams up all of existence and then creates imaginary boundaries which creates the illusion of 'my experience' as well as 'others'. When you say that I am the only conscious being in existence, it implies that there are other beings which are not conscious. But there are no separate 'beings'. It's not even that i disagree with you, you just have a really bad way of wording it which makes it really easy to misinterpret. Especially because you're saying it to people who aren't currently tripping. They will interpret you as saying that their ego is the main character and others are sims characters. Unless you actually mean that 'spiritual memes' is the only conscious being in existence and everyone else is an npc...

I think this could get easily misinterpreted by most people. Most people would define 'you' as their ego so they would interpret that as saying that only their limited egoic experience exists and others are philosophical zombies/dream characters. Which is why they think you're delusional. At high levels of awakening there isn't a 'you' since the self is also imagined. So to say 'you are the only conscious thing in existence' doesn't really make sense since there is no 'you'.

@Gregory1 @Fleetinglife I'm glad it helped I did some further enquiry and realised that I subconsciously chose people who have traumatic childhoods like mine as friends and potential romantic partners while avoiding people who had good childhoods. It's an ego game I am playing because I want to maintain my victim identity and hang around with other victims. I'm realising just how unbelievably sneaky my ego mind is. Even as I'm typing this my ego mind is playing subtle tricks to get me to identify with it. I have a lot of work ahead of me. The trip was the easy part.

A few days ago I tripped again after taking a very long break from psychedelics. I was afraid to try psychedelics again due to a bad trip I had a year ago where I completely lost touch with reality and put myself in serious danger and ultimately ended up in hospital. I've done a lot of meditation and self development since then and decided to give them a try once again. I took a small 100ug dose of LSD and stayed in my room. I immediately felt intense anxiety due to what happened last time so I went to my room and lay in my bed. The anxiety got extremely intense, my heart started beating very hard and I felt convinced that I was going to die, instead of panicking, I decided to try a technique I learned doing strong determination sitting where I just sat and faced the immense fear head on. What followed was a strong ego death and god realisation experience. I'm still trying to process and integrate the trip at the moment but I wrote down my insights while on the comedown: All my problems stem from an illusory image of myself that isn’t real! It’s all conceptual but made to feel like it’s real using trickery. This illusory self is constantly compared to others and judged. As long as I am identified with this illusory image, I will always feel inadequate and unworthy of love. The illusory image is the root of all my anxiety, social and otherwise. I am love! I am the love which is the underlying being of all of reality! All of reality is just a dream I am having! We fear death because we fear nothingness, however the nothingness is actually love! I am worthy of being loved for just being the way I am! I was raised to believe that I am unworthy in my default state, and I have to change myself and achieve certain goals to be worthy of love. This means I always see myself as never being good enough and I have to be more confident, masculine, intelligent, disciplined, attractive popular etc so that I can be worthy. Our society constantly reinforces this idea which contributes to so much dysfunction. All my efforts to try to somehow try to improve myself so that I can be loved are futile and only serve to reinforce my illusory self. The illusory self can't be loved because it doesn’t exist!! My true self is always worthy of love because it IS love! I am constantly seeking love from the external world. I try and get it in the form of other peoples approval, sex, relationships, success, drugs, social media and all my other addictions. Even my spiritual work is an attempt to get love from some external god or entity in the future. I will never find love as long as I am looking in the material world because I am looking away from myself. All the love I need is in the present moment. Strong determination sitting is extremely effective. It allowed me to push past my fear of death so that I could let go of my illusory self. I’m so much stronger now because of it. My edgy and dark humour is an unconscious mechanism to maintain a part of my ego which feels like an outcast and a freak born from past experiences. I keep using messed up humour to reinforce my outcast ego and pessimistic worldview. This dark humour is detrimental as it keeps me from connecting with others. Its sort of like an unconscious way of pushing people away from me so I can maintain my ego identity as an outcast or freak.

oof i got Disorganized /Fearful-Avoidant :( How do I fix this?

Just wanted to share this video of Alan Watts I found. A lot of what he's saying is very similar Leo's highest teachings which is quite interesting.

@Leo Gura Shouldn't psychedelics help fix these problems?

@Leo Gura How do you get to this level of inner game?

guess i'm going to bars alone then...

I've been meditating and doing self enquiry consistently for almost 2 years and it has helped me greatly. However, doing self enquiry has uncovered a bunch of deeply rooted limiting beliefs about myself and reality. These stem from trauma at an early age and manifest themselves in my present reality which greatly limits my social life, career and especially my dating life. Some of these beliefs are: I am fundamentally disgusting and repulsive on the inside Everyone is secretly laughing at me behind my back I am incompetent at life and can't get anything done Other people have something within them that I am lacking which allows them to be successful and happy I am weak minded There is something wrong with me that other people can easily notice I have also noticed a deep rooted fear of intimacy. I tend to keep people at an arms length and don't reveal much about myself. I physically cringed when visualising myself being intimate with someone even though I really want an intimate relationship. On an intellectual level, I understand that these beliefs are probably false or exaggerated and I can come up with countless examples proving them wrong but these beliefs seem to work on an emotional level and simply FEEL true and therefore continue to manifest themselves in my reality. These beliefs are so deeply rooted that I have developed my personality and ego around them making them insanely hard to get rid of. How do I overcome these limiting beliefs? If anyone has gone through anything similar or has any ideas, it would be deeply appreciated

I'm doing NNN this year. Anyone else joining me?

I've generally been quite shy, awkward and terrible with the opposite sex for my entire life (Im 22). I have almost no experience with sex and dating and I was extremely determined to improve myself in this area. I've been working on pickup and developing my confidence for a few months and I became much more confident, and relaxed and sociable. I started approaching and recently i made out with a girl for the first time in ages. When it happened I was suddenly aware of my victim mindset and limiting beliefs i had been identifying with in my mind and how they were illusory and I knew I had to let it go. Im guessing this was very threatening to my ego so immediately after that happened, I experienced the worst ego backlash ever. I immediately felt a deep primal force pulling me back to my default state. I felt a strong aversion to doing any more approaches, and my social skills greatly diminished. The ego backlash was so intense. I was getting physical symptoms like feeling feverish and tired all the time. I ended up getting really depressed and backsliding to square 1. I'm back to being the shy, awkward, depressed virgin that i've always been and its super frustrating because I was making so much progress. I didn't realise ego backlash even applied to pickup. What am I supposed to do now?

@Emotionalmosquito Stay strong soldier!

@Leo Gura No homo

I've heard many spiritual teachers including Leo talk about the importance of grounding oneself while practicing spirituality but what does it actually mean? And what are some good ways to ground myself? Thanks!