Federico del pueblo

In the 2nd thread just read the back and forth between me and flowboy.

@UpperMaster I've recently had several discussions about similar topics here with our fellow member @flowboy. From these discussions in combination with my own prior research and experience I conclude that in most cases (if not all of them) the root cause of these feelings is childhood trauma. Certain behaviours during your childhood lead to negative responses from one of your caregivers or even other adults. So when you did X and then got verbally abused by an adult for it you learned that "if I do X, mum/dad/this adult doesn't love me, so it must be bad to this and if I do this I am bad (and do not receive love)." Not receiving love feels painful for a child because as a child you dependon the love and care of your parents, so you aim to avoid any behaviour that could lead to you not receiving love. So your brain learns to associate "not being loved" (= rejection) with pain and therefore also associates behaviour X with pain. Now if you get rejected as a adult you will still feel that pain of "not being loved" as a child, you basically regress back into your child state of consciousness and think that it's the current event (the rejection) which makes you feel this way when in reality it's your unprocessed childhood trauma. I'll search for the links where we talked about this and about a possible solution too.

@flowboy Ok, very interesting info right there! Thank you buddy, you're of great help! ? I'll keep going and you'll hear from me.

@flowboy so if you had to outline a process for self therapy to overcome childhood trauma, what would you suggest? First do regression therapy on everything you can still remember until you feel like there's no more repressed pain that you can bring up; Then get more involved in primal therapy? Do you think more things that were unconscious will start to surface once you've worked through a lot of memories? How did it go for you?

A full dose or even with micro dosing?

I'm actually so glad you made me aware of these phenomena. In my past I would typically reject theories of how childhood trauma might play a role in my health condition. I would rationalise it away like "aahh COME OOOOON...I had a decent childhood...sure, not everything was perfect, but there is no real childhood trauma there..." Luckily I'm starting to see now how my childhood might have laid the foundations for all my later neurotic thoughts and behaviours and also my chronic disease. Raised by a single mother, father left us when I was one year old and left us with over ten thousand € of dept. Next boyfriend was an alcoholic, aggressive dude who freaked out and threw the TV through the living room. A chronically stressed mother who got her arm broken by my "father" when he freaked out. Born 4 weeks prematurely... Almost died at the age of 2 in the hospital due to some intestinal infection. Almost drowned as a three years old in a lake when mom didn't watch out for me, but was sunbathing instead. Already super shy as 6 year old so that I didn't want to play with other kids. Emotionally hurt by my first teacher in school which lead to a belief that I "was not a good kid". And much more stuff later on. In spite of all of that I used to believe that my negative development must have begun later on, in my late teens to early twenties. Well, probably I was wrong. I've now worked through a handful of these memories and found pain in all of them and I still have a few more handful of them waiting to be worked through. What's interesting is that even though this regression process is done with a positive outcome in mind (= overcoming trauma) I find myself avoiding doing the process a little bit. I still gravitate more towards working on the issues of the present. I don't know why that is. Maybe it's just more repression. But I'm gonna keep coming back to the regression therapy and also deepen my understanding with further theory. So again, thanks for the video and all your input!

https://www.traumasuperconference.com/?gid=true&gclid=CjwKCAiA85efBhBbEiwAD7oLQLzvGesXQFrlcAq6yJ3Ote5JK5aHWhhdWb0QCixfzR40j5QyRhzxvhoCuJMQAvD_BwE Free online event, starting in a few days. Many expert speakers on the subject of trauma. I believe on the day of release of each video it is free for 24 hours and if you want lifetime access to all the videos you need to purchase the entire thing for about 120 $. Thought I'd share. 1000th post completed ? ???

Lol. This bird on the right side should become Germany's official representative bird hahaha

When I enter a meditative state some muscle tension starts to build in my jaw, upper neck and to an extent the back of my head (where the neck meets the back of the head). The deeper the meditative state becomes, the stronger this tension becomes. It's almost like this muscle tension is an indicator of the depth of my meditative state (though I have other indicators of course). I have no idea why I'm experiencing this, it is completely involuntary and I can only keep consciously relaxing these muscles again and again. If I intentionally focus on these muscles - as in temporarily making them my meditation object - the tension just becomes even stronger, to the point where it becomes unbearable cramping, which is painful. It's a bit irritating and I feel like it keeps me from going into an even deeper state because it's kind of distracting. Has anyone here experienced something like this? Do you think I'll just have to live with it or can this be overcome? Greetings.

Yeah, you're right. For me it's due to the porn industry that my 8.5 inch member still looks a bit small to me. Distorted perception I guess ?

Yeah. If you look at your dick from just 4 inches away it also looks quite big. Try it out!

I tried it out immediately after reading your post, but my dick wasn't bigger...?

@Someone here Bro, sometimes I'm not sure if you're trolling us here... Of course Penis Enlargement creams are a scam. Is that not blatantly obvious? And btw pills are obviously a scam too. Also, you don't need more than 12 cm to reach her g spot. You could reach it with your pinky finger. It's only like 2 inches in. Just put her in a position where her pelvis points upwards and then go in with your dick also upwards so your rubbing with your head against the upper wall of her vagina (You'll cum fast due to a lot of friction though). The best thing is to finger her g spot before fucking though. And also lick her pussy (SUCK her clitoris as though it was like a small nipple). And learn proper foreplay, kissing and biting her hot spots and so on. Good luck! No.

@flowboy Thanks a lot for responding!! It means a lot bro! I'm now reading the book of Jean C. Jensen. It's already blowing my mind... Best wishes to you!

@flowboy Thanks a lot for providing some tools to help me with my emotional healing. I'd appreciate it if you could have a look at what happened. No pressure to respond though. I've worked with the questions you gave me in the other thread for three times on the same memory and two times on another less charged situation of about the same age. The memory I worked on was in my 1st school year if I remember correctly, but definitely no more than 2nd year. There were some interns in our class, the people who study to become a teacher themselves. Our regular class teacher was also there. We were drawing pictures and I felt like I had finished mine and showed it to the intern and she informed our teacher. Her: "he says he already finished his drawing" Teacher: "who? Aahh....this one....mhh" with a dismissive tone, as though she was saying "this boy is quite weird actually". At least this is how I interpreted her response. I felt sad when I heard that. I remember that from then on I believed that I wasn't good as a kid, that something must have been wrong with me. But of course I didn't say anything, I just swallowed it down. But I was thinking about it and assuming that her perception of me must be correct. So in the exercise I fully put myself back in this situation. And then said/asked different things that I couldn't say back then like the following: "Why did you say 'aah this one'?" "Why do you not like me?" "I gave my best with this picture. Why do you think it probably isn't good?" "Now I feel like I'm not a good kid" "Now I feel like all the other kids are better than me" It didn't even take half a minute and I was already crying like a child. I kept going for several minutes, repeating the things I couldn't say back then. I've done this 3 times now just for this one memory and cried every time. Even now writing this I was on the brink of crying, my eyes were already watery and I started to shake a bit. So I guess there's still more pain attached to this memory, right? Is it normal like this, taking several times to resolve the pain of the same incident? Do I keep repeating this until I can't feel any more pain and can't cry any more? Anyway it felt good even though it felt sad. I'll do it more times in the upcoming days.

Now I'm wondering, wouldn't it be expected that your narcissism score goes up if you do personal development for some years. You overcome insecurities, feel more confident, have more success and more competencies. Wouldn't it be just natural to then score higher in such a test and kind of a good sign?

My score is 14. Seems fair. @UnbornTao You're a very modest narcissist. ?

@Thought Art Amazing! Thanks a lot! ???

And what are the spiritual ramifications of this phenomenon? Is it known how and where these emotions get stored? What has this got to do with the chakras? Like, does unprocessed emotion get stored as an energy in the chakras and then it can get liberated and converted into "good" energy? Is this stored emotion what becomes the kundalini energy? Or is this emotion/energy stuck in the nervous system? I'm just trying to see the big picture of the relationship between emotions, the body, energy, spiritual development and so on, so please share what you know. Thanks ?

Sure, that makes a lot of sense. Yes, that's a really interesting phenomenon! Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about this in his books and at his workshops they actually measure this field with some russian biophoton detecting device (I don't remember the exact name, but it's some high end device). There you can see that the meditators have a much brighter, bigger and "thicker" electromagnetic field after a breakthrough experience. It's amazing.

@Thought Art Yeah, that's the kind of stuff I was thinking about. Do you know how we can even know that? It seems obvious that stress is regulated by the nervous system (sympathetic and parasympathetic NS), but what does it mean that the stress is held in the nervous system? Or are we again just talking about the neural connections in the brain? Even harder to grasp is how stress is held in an organ or tissues. Unless this merely means that we have chemical reactions like production of neurotransmitters and hormones, but I think you mean something else right? Yeah, that's exactly the stuff I meant. First you have trauma or other conditioning. Then this gets stored in the body as energy, I assume it's some kind of unhelpful energy, but you can transform it into something better I guess. It would be extremely interesting to know what actually happens when we transform this energy (if that's what really happens at all). Like there are these accounts of people who do a chakra meditation and then energy from the lower centers get "liberated" and flow upwards in the brain, which can cause a spiritual experience. So I assume that this "bad", low frequency energy of the trauma that sits in the body must become something else. Thanks for your post!

Nice post. I was aware of these relationships. Of course emotions are felt in the body because the body produces certain chemicals and changes its physiology. The thing you're describing is basically conditioning, like e.g. fear conditioning. That's what we know from Pavlov's dogs; neuroassociations or trigger-reaction-chains. A trauma could therefore be considered a specific type of conditioning. You build many types of associations of certain stimuli - that were present during the traumatic events - with specific emotions/physiology. That what you describe in the last paragraph is called "melting anchors" isn't? It's clear that e.g. if someone has an anxiety disorder, then they have a neural network for that specific anxiety (or rather the specific associations) in their brain. So that's the brain, neural networks that get activated and then in turn activate hormonal glands like the adrenal glands in the body, which then produce stress hormones. Anyway what I meant in my original post was still something different. There are theories in which for example trauma is "stored" in specific organs. It's kind of like if you could have a close look at the organ you'd see certain "traces" of the trauma (don't ask me what that means). Like, as though you have a memory of the trauma "imprinted" in the organ or tissue. I think they say that the body can then respond to a trauma trigger even before the brain does or maybe even that the body simply activates the trauma by itself without any external trigger (and similar stuff). Out of habit so to speak. I don't know a whole lot about this stuff which is why I made the post.

We would worship your big dildo all day long ?

Yeah, I read about it too. Still seems a bit odd to me because from what I understood lizard labs didn't produce these opioids (some other Dutch laboratories did produce them though), but they still got busted in that same operation. I'm still awaiting updates on this issue. American authorities busting laboratories in the middle of Europe, LMAO...

@Bob Seeker I can't really speak about 1P-LSD, because I haven't experienced it. Though I'm using 1V-Lsd, which is another lsd analogue, just like 1P-lsd, but two versions later so to speak. The 1V-lsd works perfectly fine. All these lsd analogues were produced by professional Dutch laboratories (Legally...), so they are precisely dosed, unlike the street lsd (which sometimes isn't even lsd). I don't know if later on also other producers of these lsd analogues emerged, or more underground in someone's basement kind of labs, I've never heard of anything like this though. They would probably rather make the regular lsd. So you'll likely get high quality, professionally produced quasi-lsd There haven't been any stories of these lsd analogues having unusual side effects, it's all pretty much like lsd. But a little risk of long-term side effects always remains with research chemicals that haven't been studied so thoroughly. It's still unlikely though.