Rishabh R

I have a lot of insights from contemplation but I will share the ones which hit me out of nowhere. .People are irrational .People have widely different lives .The hard way is better than easy way

Great, you are moving in the direction of more fulfilling life.

Yes.

I couldn't agree more with you.👍

Have you read the book called - Subtle Art of not giving a F--- by Mark Manson. It said that some suffering is inevitable no matter what you say or do or whom you hang out with you will have some degree of suffering since it's biologically useful.(I have read the book thrice) The rich suffer for their riches and the poor suffering for their lack of wealth. People in relationship suffering due to their relationship while who abstain from relationships suffer due to their abstience.

You are absolutely right dude ❤️. To instill something better in oneself it not only takes intention but also patience and practice. Feel free to DM me since we both are followers of each other on this forum.😂

@CARDOZZO Yeah but the first change begins with mindset shift. My college friends had a similar experience -they were going from relationship to relationship without doing the inner work and when they suffer they either suppressed the negative emotions through smoking,drinking or another relationship. Getting a sneek peek of this kind of lifestyle makes me recognize that how happy am I while being single even though I have my highs and lows.

@CARDOZZO But eventually you will outgrow it. What I can suggest you for now is to focus on quality of relationships over quantity of girls.

It's a cycle 😂.

@CARDOZZO Have you applied the principles of the book Models and Dating essentials for men ?

@Jannes Suffering is inevitable in life no matter what you do . As per my experience as a 25 year old single and having been rejected by many girls (also seeing many relationships start and end in front of my eyes )you can improve your situation by asking yourself : What is the purpose of my suffering ? Just a bit of emotional regulation here.😂

@Miguel1 Agreed.The toughest decisions of our life carry the seed of our significant growth which improves our life trajectory.

Thinking that you are the only independent thinker in the room and others are conformist. Treating your perspective as different,sacred,in positive light while assuming other's perspective as inadequate.

Hardest decision of mine in life up until now was accepting the fact that my father needs to marry the second time after my mother passed away due to cancer. Initially I was shocked when I heard this from my father. But slowly I accepted it and I am glad that I cooperated with him since now my family life is better. Also second most difficult decision was to pursue engineering in instead of pursuing general bachelor's and master's degree in biological sciences.Now I feel that I made the right decision as it improved the trajectory of my life. ( Good decisions don't come easily) The third one - The decision to move on from a girl whom I was in one-sided infatuation in school. Was very tough. I used to close my room and cry for this girl but moving on was the ultimate game changer for me.

Haven't watched the video myself but will link it here.

She was from my class in college. Whenever we talk now on phone the conversation lasts for half an hour(30 minutes ).She asks lot of questions about me. We also talked on phone during college and face to face. In the convocation when we were getting our degree she was the one who waved hi to me when she saw me and she did this twice during convocation. There have been some girls in my past who approached me and initiated the conversation with me. Whenever I talk to a girl I too feel anxiety but I do it anyway. Recently I opened this up to a therapist and she said me to think about my good qualities atleast once while talking to people and your confidence will increase. By the way I have been on antidepressants and antipsychotics since 7 years due to anxiety after getting rejected from a girl while I was in high school. Majority of girls didn't even cared to talk to me.I am a 25 year old single now out of college and on apprenticeship. In college she was a girl who wasn't harsh with me but treated me decently when I was suffering from chronic rejection where single girls rejected me and later dated some other guy which first made me envious then resentful. I even feel extremely resentful seeing couples getting intimate. A part of me says that I have never held any girl's hand and this guy is so far ahead.Also even if I talk to a girl other guys get pissed off and try to attack me. I have watched Leo's - How to get laid series over and over again. Read Models by Mark Manson 3 times. By the way I have fear in myself that I will never find someone (I have questioned this belief ) and will get arranged married to a girl who is already experienced in dating ( Yeah I live in India ). So, Is she receptive or just being friendly?Am I wasting my time talking to her ?

@Raze Correctly said.

@Leo Gura I told her that I like talking to you she said that she also liked talking to me. ( We said this to each other twice )I also said it to her that I enjoy talking to her and she gave a different response each time.Such as I am cooler than everyone. Then I said her that you are a narcissist jokingly. I complemented her on her looks over text and she replied with a laughing emoji. When I complemented her over call she said it's all right .Also I asked to meet her in person since we are both in same cities. She told to inform her if I am free.

I was watching YouTube. Particularly- Leo's video The psychology of being wrong and many other recommended videos of different people on self -improvement videos were below as I scrolled past Leo's video .People were sharing their opinions. I saw a video recommendation of a 42 year old jobless, unmarried person. Even though I didn't watched that video I had an insight - People have widely different lives. All my life up until 25 I was living under the assumption that people are equal their lives are equal only I have problems which nobody understands. However , it caused a shift of 180 degree in my perspective that no two people have same lives. I know it sounds simple but it's still powerful.

I later contemplated- What are the ways I'm wrong ? As you said in the video I was surprised that how many answers my mind supplied to me. I am talking about human condition like circumstances etc.

This is spot on. Thanks for sharing this perspective. Embracing suffering is one of the most necessary pillars of emotional regulation.

Avoiding negative emotions make them worse while accepting or feeling them fully decreases their power over you as well as remember that it's healthy to have negative emotions. A person who is always happy will not be capable of improving his/her life.

@Something Funny Congratulations from a fellow 25 year old.

@Miguel1 Right now what I am struggling with is feeling angry from a past insult of mine. I curse that girl mentally.I have angry thoughts wishing violence and bad luck to her. However, it's useless because that event has passed away and I must realise that she treated me based on her perception of me which is not true. Also I have noticed that when I am alone these feelings pop up but when I am at work I don't have those feelings. I think the solution is to let those thoughts happen naturally . Also , I am proud of getting into a job training at a company shortly after graduating from my college.

@Terell Kirby Thanks. I have entered my mid 20s.