Rishabh R

Usually 30 minutes and once in a week. Few times I contemplated for an hour.

I contemplated for 45 minutes - What can I learn from my past rejections ? These were the answers that came to me - To pursue girl whom I like -To not to pursue girls who show signs of disinterest -To choose girls based on their actions towards me -To not to be needy towards girls -That guys who are accepted by girls are not happier than me - That I have overcome multiple rejections -That girls who show signs of disinterest aren't worth spending time -That it doesn't matter weather a girl rejects me or falls in love with me what matters weather I am overcoming rejections or not -They didn't deserve me - That some girls will like me while some will hate me Do let me know your thoughts.

Well said.

@TheGod I was talking to her over text and then once I told her - I love you. She told - Are you crazy man. I told- I like you. She asked why ? I told that she is beautiful and reply me. Then she said - I will slap you in the face and that's the reply. The next day I got a call from a guy friend of her threatening me. He told me that you have come to college then study and don't do all these things. You don't know who I am , ask to others in college if you don't want to get disturbed. 3-4 months later after this incident happened unfortunately my mother passed away due to cancer. Then after an year I told to other girls of my batch about it and also to one senior of mine. Then I talked to her again over text and she abused me. Her guy friend who threatend me earlier - I told him that I have been hurt from him. He told whom did you propose and stop crying.( Even though I wasn't crying 😂) Also he abused me but I argued with him. I talked to her over phone and she again abused me why did I told to him and told me to say sorry to him. I told him sorry and I told to him was trying to communicate with him. He said ok. She told me over text that I am a child and a cry baby. In college when we all transitioned from online to offline semester. I saw him and she told me that this is the guy. I ignored them. Then she went on to date other guys of my class. She ignored me etc. But with that being said , now my college is over and I overcame it. Now I am responsible for moving forward and finding someone who will love me for who I am. It feels light to write this.

@theleelajoker A girl rejected me , abused me and her friend threatened me. When I asked her why she did it she said that I deserve it all the time. @NewKidOnTheBlock Yeah few of them are like that.

@Princess Arabia I just assumed that you would disagree with me in your next comment. But that assumption was wrong as it was based on your past disagreements with me in the spirituality section where we were talking about suffering and you said to overcome suffering something else other than acceptance of suffering is required. It was long ago.

@Princess Arabia Thanks. By the way you may disagree with me here but I am trying to accept my negative emotions due to past rejections and reminding myself that I have overcame them. Rejection is truly a redirection to something better.

I have a question that why do normal people don't follow personal development work and even a tiny amount of them who do just scratch on the surface of it and later call self-help as non- sense. By self-help I mean meditating consistently, reframing failures, practicing emotional regulation at the times of stress. Thank you in advance for the replies 😂.

Because I am hurting myself by creating negative scenarios of the future and replaying old situations which hurted me. Thanks for guiding me.

@Leo Gura I have noticed that acceptance of negative emotions brings smile to my face while suffering.

@Leo Gura Is it better to be in the present moment at times of suffering or acceptance is better ? Do both align with your work ?

@Leo Gura Is daily meditating , reframing failures ,feeling uncomfortable emotions a part of your work? By the way when you talked about fully feeling the suffering in the video - The counterintuitive nature of life I didn't understood back then but after years of suffering and being a failed optimist during emotional suffering I started accepting negative emotions since the last year which decreased my suffering even though it still there I fully embodied what was said in that video.

I also experience jealousy from time to time when I see a couple. The advice that I can give you @UpperMaster is changing the perspective to - You are as good and successful as other people no matter what the external appearance looks like. Also I have discovered that most of the time when I am feeling inadequate by seeing others success it is an exaggeration of other's status. I used to be jealous of many people but later when I discovered their internal realities that their life is worse than me no matter how good they look externally.

I find this perspective as valid.

Thanks. Hopefully trying our best.

@Leo Gura You talked about not forcing truth on normies but on people who follow the work of actualized.org. Does this mean that we are not normies ?

@Leo Gura What's the difference between content promoting ideology vs having high standards how to differentiate between the two? For example reading a book such as Models by Mark Manson which talks about only choosing women whom you are enthusiastic to be with and who is enthusiastic to be with you. Is the second one more mature advice compared to ideology of dating ?

@Judy2 Thanks.

I completed my master's thesis and presentation work a month ago and got a descent mark ranging from 81-90 out of 100. What helped me was following the instructions of my supervisor and lab mentor.

@Leo Gura How about this : Mind corruptible Meaning - Things which corrupt the mind such as status ,power,authority,group think etc. Sentence example - His hold on authority proved to be a mind corruptible factor in his understanding of the world accurately. This concept is meaningful as it indicates how much negative influence does social conformity can have on the mind.

I have noticed that practicing honesty with oneself improves well being. For example the mental chatter that our mind constantly engages with is most of the time a bunch of lies which we are saying to oneself. To practice self-honesty one doesn't need to think delusionally positive even but simply direct one's self-talk to truth. Such as in case of anticipation it is better to admit not-knowing or tell oneself that the situation may turn out x/y and it's implications are unknown. Telling oneself truth of the situation innerly enhances one's mental well being.

@kbone Thanks.

In different contexts or more precisely in most contexts. I used to tell secrets to others most of the time but I used to not tell the truth to myself. Now I have recognized this and when I practice self-honesty I experience tranquility and peace when I tell myself the truth of a situation.

I also noticed few days ago that I have been practicing half honesty by telling the truth to others and not myself.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.smilingmind.app This is the link to download it.