Zeroguy

Ask me anything you wanted to know about mental illness and how it is.

I don't work.Filed for disability. Yeah J. Is great, yeah she is my support. I live with my father and brother. My relationship with them is great.

Yes I am from Serbia. I wanted to master my psychology. That people are following me, that other people want to physically harm me etc No I don't know the source of my inner monologue. It's just my mind.

Yes we are. Any problem with it?

I am on Clozapine,great drug.

I do need positive outlook on life. Find something you are passionate about and create something beautiful. That's advice I was given from Leo and Cetus. Good advices. Yesterday I had psychosis it lasted for 3 hours. I am right now going to psychiatrist. Stability of mind not reached so life is still on pause.

I am an ISTJ personality type. In this journal I will track my life progress. Since I am introvert I love my alone time . While I am alone I research. I need to set my goals.

Even on this forum is easy to see devilry let alone in real life. How to cope?

I had infinite love/God awakening. I died . I had no sense of self or was I aware of anything. I know that my ♥️ is source of everything so I am God but Reality mindfucks me and I can't get grasp on it. Meanwhile I was hitted with mental illness I started hearing voice and I was in psychosis for 3 months before finally going to psychiatrist. Meds healed my symptoms that's why I abandoned awakening and started to see life more realistically. So now I am materialist and atheist thinking all of spirituality is brain state.

Thanks man those are some wise words. Thanks for explaining selfishness. I don't have any. Maybe Leo but I disagree on solipsism.

Thanks man. I will try to do that. This is good advice.

3 days I am on Clozapine and no paranoia or psychosis. I feel well let's hope it will last. Currently my life is on pause until I recover stability of my mind..

It's so obvious. It's a red flag.

After realization that everyone is me I decided that I won't harm any being.

I switched off Clozapine for Olanzapine because I run out of it. Tomorrow I have to collect it from pharmacy. I feel strange. I made myself a promise that I will not read this forum.

Why Leo doesn't talk about Infinite Love so much it's key element of enlightenment. Building block of reality is actual love and he never talks about it. I think his mind took insights from formless state and perverted it so much that he believes he is God while insights were about actual God. Even beloved solipsism is formless state derivative. Bastardizing formless experience.

God is all-powerful, all knowing but you are not that. You don't even control your own thoughts let alone Reality. Consciousness is infinite imagination and life is just a dream within consciousness,once you wake up from that "Dream" it should be over. But you are not in control aren't you. Which means you are not God. Weak minds getting brainwashed by Leo. What he teaches is thousand years old, he doesn't bring nothing new. Materialism is true all technology you have is made under materialistic worldview , all of science.

It makes no sense if you are imagining others after awakening. If you really are all alone as only consciousness that exists and is imagining others after awakening and realizing this truth and you accept it there is no need for consciousness to imagine others after that. So if your imagination theory is true it makes no sense.

ISTJ

Yeah life is so fascinating. So many limits imposed on you. I get to live as this Alex dude and experience this life from unique point. It's more rewarding then being God for eternity. Pain, illness, suffering etc all to make it feel very real. Joy of thinking you are mortal and that fear that all will end when we die. It's work of genius if you think about it.

Well I am not everything because I have fight or flight response. That tiger is having fight or flight too. If tiger decides to harm me it means it's separate from me. It's OK to be separated small human nothing wrong with that I don't need ego boost that I am God.

Yeah everything around me is actual Love/God I became aware of it. Infinite Goodness that too. Problem is that I can't accept it because it sounds to narcissistic I would rather be a good man. I feel better while in "denial".

You are talking about self transcendence . I am just the body as the coffee table Infront of me. I get it.

Have cleaned the house and I am not feeling paranoid. If I get disability that means I can't work anymore. So I will try to become chess GrandMaster and learn accounting. Course costs 400$. Will try to convince J. who is master economist that we open accounting company.

When I was formless without sense of self I wasn't aware of anything I was God/Infinite Love. This guy called Alex died for me to feel what God really is . You have good video on facets of awakening . I think that God wanted me to know him but I am not God just because of this temporary experience.