something_else

12/50

There's plenty to say in a work setting. Chat with your colleagues, learn to small talk and connect with people. They don't have to become friends, but at least try to build some kind of connection. It benefits you too, you'll find your career advances much quicker when you build relationships with colleagues.

then don't start arguments on a forum lmao

This is basically saying "my arguments don't stand on their own, so I need charisma and manipulation to make people believe them"

Yes! I get those comfortable energy flows too, especially when combined with a cup of tea. Elvanse and a little caffeine create this serene state that doesn't feel like a high, just an ability to be fully present. I could be present before, but it always came with an underlying sense of fear. I'd developed this association between being present and making stupid mistakes, so being fully in the moment felt almost dangerous. Now I can experience that same feeling without making those mistakes. It also feels much easier to enter the flow state that, before medication, would strike randomly and inconsistently. Sometimes the flow is almost too powerful though, and I find myself stuck on something long after I know I should have moved on. I don't really notice the medication itself anymore. There's no obvious "Oh, it's kicking in" moment like there was during the first month. But the effects are still incredibly noticeable when I compare my life now to how it was before taking it.

Ehm, this is a bizarre take. Almost every argument is easier to express cleanly in written form than spoken form.

The reason for this is that humans always want what they see that others have, but they don't have. It's all relative. Humans have always been this way and likely will be for a long time to come. If you took a hunter gatherer or a caveman, they'd look at a snapshot of modern life and think: "How can you be struggling to survive when you can source all the food you could ever want by walking 5 minutes to a supermarket round the corner? And you have unlimited clean water pumped directly into your house?? And all you have to do for this is type on a computer all day???? And you still feel like you're lacking??? What is wrong with you, you have everything you could ever need to be happy." Yet we are not happy. The same would be true between now and say 100 years time in the world you are imagining and calling "post scarcity". There will still be things that are scarce. Just different things. And we would look at that world and think "You have a device that can produce anything material you could ever want for zero effort? Perfect health with zero effort?? And all you have to do is cash in your government distributed tokens which you get for zero effort???? And you still feel like you're lacking??? What is wrong with you, you have everything you could ever need to be happy." Yet I would bet a large amount of money they are not happy. Because their frame of reference views those things as normal and not special or valuable. Whatever is scarce at that time will become desirable. Maybe it's power, freedom, happiness itself, spiritual achievement, expression of oneself. A slightly more capable device that produces all material goods 10% faster. Who knows. It could be anything. But it will be something. There will still be some kind of hierarchy, and there will still be those who are at the bottom of it, and those who are at the top of it. As the hierarchy becomes shorter, like it may in such a world, small differences will start to matter more and more. It's also very possible that genetics and who your family is will become the defining source of value a person has to offer, which would not be a good world. As though that's the only luxury in the modern world? And besides that, try living somewhere with limited hot showers for a month. Suddenly they start to seem a whole lot more valuable and you start realising how much you took your hot shower at home for granted. I have experienced exactly this while trekking in places where cold showers are basically all that's available, except a few scarce places that charge you $10 for a solar powered hot shower. How can you know this for certain? Certainly about this is at best unwise and arguably delusion. There is no way to know how this would go. Maybe it will be beautiful. Or maybe it will cause a massive increase in obesity, depression, drug addiction and short term pleasure chasing. Maybe many humans will go insane when there is no purpose provided, or no obvious path to take in life. And maybe even those who do have a purpose or drive will find that there is no way for them to compete with the tech owned by those at the top of the hierarchy. Maybe AI will kill us all first. There are so many ways this could go which are not a happy ending. In a world like this, those at the bottom of the hierarchy could be viewed by those at the top like you view fruit flies in your kitchen. A minor inconvenience that can be removed with a small amount of effort. Not caring about something and having the power to eradicate it once it causes minor inconvenience is a very dangerous world.

This is just not how the human mind works. If everyone has everything they want, the hedonistic treadmill kicks in and suddenly you get bored of having everything, and you start wanting whatever it is other people have that you don't have. And there will always be something others have that you don't. For example if you took cavemen and showed them the modern world, they'd wonder what the fuck we're all so unhappy about because everything is amazing, luxurious and so easy. They'd probably argue we're already in a post-scarcity world. Yet we're all still pretty miserable on average because everyone else around us has the same luxuries and we all still want whatever it is that's just out of our reach. The caveman would look at people buying a £20k handbag and think they were fucking insane idiots. In a post-scarcity world we may end up with bizarre things becoming desirable because there will always be things that are more scarce than others. If literally everything material becomes immediately available to you, then the people who own whatever tech makes that possible hold an insane amount of power that other people don't have. Which means there is still lack, and scarcity. Just in a different form. There will be a post-scarcity equivalent of the 20k handbag. That also assumes that in a post-scarcity world there is any reason to keep most of the population around, which beyond "it's the ethical thing to do", there is no logical reason to.

Competent, emotionally engaging, dresses well, looks good, good hygeine, has things going on in his life, has purpose, has friends / is sociable.

Yea, I've heard this a few times from friends who took methylphenidate first. Personally I found it completely fine, but for many it has strong side effects. All of those friends found elvanse much MUCH smoother. I'd recommend trying it out. Basically the only side effect I have left from Elvanse is slightly diminished sleep quality. But I started taking it 4 months ago or so, and just a few days ago in my catchup with my boss (who doesn't know I have been diagnosed with adhd) he specifically said to me "your work in the past 3 or so months has been exceptional" and I'm now being offered a promotion. So it has genuinely been life changing. The biggest thing I notice is that I can now build momentum, which is the key to success in most areas of life. Previously at work I'd have a good month, then a bad month, then a few good months, then a few bad months. Never consistently improving. And I'd make the same mistakes over and over. Now I feel like each month I am actually getting better because I'm much more consistent. And I don't make the same mistakes more than once. I also have the mental bandwidth to do things beyond the bare minimum of what's required from me.

Nah, you should expect some euphoria when you first start taking stimulants. It usually lasts about 1-3 weeks.

Lol, I can't imagine how bad the chemicals inside a glowstick are for you. That cannot be healthy

That's cool! Karaoke is my worst nightmare

I used to do this a lot, and I know it works well. Counterintuitively I can dance just fine on my own in the middle of the the busiest dance floors, like at a rave. But most of the places I'm going out to now are bars or bar / club hybrids which typically have very well lit small dance floors, which I find it very hard to relax and dance on because literally everybody can see you, and most people are barely dancing anyway. It's a minor issue in my life at this point, I go out to have fun with friends rather than to really push myself. Some nights when I'm out with my closest friends and the vibes are there dancing becomes super fun. But if it's a regular night out I tend to prefer chatting to cool new people rather than dancing.

I’ve become pretty confident, starting from a place of huge social anxiety, but dancing is the one thing I still struggle with a ton. It seems to bring out the worst of whatever is left of the social anxiety I used to have.

@Valach by there's nothing wrong with it I just mean I'm not judging anyone for it specifically. Sure some people sleep around for unhealthy reasons but you can identify that through other indicators.

It's probably not that insane. I reckon there's a high overlap between ADHD and having lots of partners. It certainly wouldn't surprise me. There's also nothing wrong with it either.

This is false, or at the very least completely unproven. There is a demonstrated increase in divorce rate for people (not just women) with 10+ partners, but it’s pretty minor. There are several far bigger factors in divorce rate. If the underlying reason for a high body count is BPD or a generally chaotic lifestyle or something else unhealthy, then yes, perhaps a long term relationship is unwise. But the same is true of a man. The reason for the high body count is more important than the body count itself.

Most rapists are not men who struggle to get sex. Rape is rarely about sexual needs. It’s about power. This is very well understood academically, you need only google it. You said sex is more fundamental than power, but no. That’s wrong. The reason power makes sexual dynamics so hot is that power is often a prerequisite to sex. In the past, powerful men got the most sex and so these concepts of sex and power are tightly interwoven within our biology. Obviously this can be expressed in healthy ways, but as a result of this a certain number of people desire really extreme or fucked up power dynamics. This creates rapists and pedophiles and the like. It’s actually more common for men who have been in relationships, married, or slept around to rape a woman than men who are sexless. Again, you need only use google to see this is quite well established. Really it wouldn’t surprise me if most of the guys who commit the crime of rape have slept around a lot. A sense of entitlement, not taking no for an answer, a need for power, and a need for control are all major motivators for rape. And as fucked up as it is, these traits overlap with superficially charismatic men, who probably don’t struggle to manipulate women. On an even more fucked up point, the guys who struggle to get laid are probably largely incapable of committing the crime of rape. Again, this is incredibly fucked up and there’s no nice way to say it, but rape is not easy. It requires a certain messed up kind of confidence and strength that your average socially anxious sexless normal man probably just does not have. One final point, most sexless men aren’t craving sex itself. They’re craving the love and desire that comes with it. Which of course you would not get from forcing someone to have sex with you. In short: Incel > doesn’t really have sex, craves love in the form of sex Rapist > probably already has sex, but craves more power in the form of forced sex, or views sex as a way to assert dominance

A lot of instances of rape are committed by men who don’t struggle to get laid. Rape is about exerting power more so than lack of sex in many (if not most) cases.

The irony is that reading between the lines here shows more bias than any of the items you actually listed

Then why are you unable to form an argument or even a a simple chain of reasoning explaining your point of view? you just make assertions and pretend you know what everybody else is thinking, and that you know better than them.

I've met several couples in their mid 20s to early 30s who have been together since they were like 18-19 and haven't really experienced single life at all. Even though they were all healthy relationships, almost universally they said they felt like they'd missed out on that aspect of life, male or female. If you've only ever been with one person you're most likely going to experience that FOMO at some point. Better to get that out of your system, get some experience with several types of people to really figure out who you're compatible with, and then settle down when you find the right person. This applies to male or female btw. I recommend you stop judging women for sleeping around a bit or thinking that it makes them "low quality"

To be honest, I think this kind of bias can often be quite beneficial. As Osho famously said, "the people are retarded." But the reality is that people are only retarded most of the time. Sometimes things are popular or trendy for good reason, and if you instinctively dismiss anything simply because it's conformist, you're inevitably going to misjudge things some of the time. I notice this pattern a lot because my dad has it to the nth degree, and I've seen both the benefits and drawbacks firsthand. Much of the success he's had in life can be attributed to his non-conformist outlook, but so can many of the problems he's encountered. It's very much a double-edged sword. Another (slightly random) example I've noticed is among frequent travellers and backpackers. You'll meet people who insist you should avoid anywhere that's "too touristy", and perhaps 80% of the time they have a point. But some places are popular precisely because they're incredible, and dismissing them outright means missing out on some genuinely amazing experiences. The irony is that this attitude is itself incredibly conformist within the backpacking community. In trying so hard to avoid following the crowd, you end up blindly following a different one.

I think the one I notice the most is a non-conformist or anti-mainstream bias. The discussions surrounding AI highlighted it the most for me. When everyone else was saying AI was terrible, you were talking about how it was great and smarter than most humans. Then when it became mainstream you were arguing that it was not that smart, and not 'real intelligence' like what humans have. There are other examples too, but that one jumped out at me the most. As far as bias goes, it's not that bad IMO. But sometimes things are hyped and popular for a good reason, and an anti-conformist bias can cloud the ability to see that.