something_else

A few people here saying that wanting to regress into red is bad, well yea. But you can still learn valuable lessons from it. What you want to take from red is individual strength and independence. There are tons of healthy ways to do that. Face some of your biggest fears, go travelling/exploring to new places by yourself, climb mountains, go on treks, lift weights, learn a martial art. Basically you want to do things that stop you from becoming a total softie. But you have the advantage of being developed to a higher stage so you can find expressions of red that are healthy and balanced.

This is a trait shared by pretty much every dude on here looking for dating advice, myself included hehe

@Marcel I legit think this is one of the most important things to learn to notice, especially when it comes to any kind of socialising. It's soooo soooo easy to start overthinking and overanalysing everything and it can start to destroy your mental state and waste a lot of your time

Viewing yourself as superior, too good and too 'deep' for others is no way to make friends I used that tactic to cope with being shitty at socialising in school for years, it's not healthy. The average person has far more depth than you give them credit for, what you lack are the social skills to bring that out. As do most people, myself included Learning to deeply relate to people who you feel are superficial will grow you enormously, but it requires you accepting that you're no better than they are

Basically, you just have to deal with it and move on, yea. Kinda feels a bit shit but you'll get numbed to it after a while. It's very difficult to come back from being left on read without seeming needy unless you already have some kind of rapport

@hamedsf do you not see the irony here

@Kel Varnsen Kind of yes. I suppose it depends on your reasoning. The argument of 'don't take the vaccine because it's got technology implanted by the elites to control you' or some other similar levels of wackiness is definitely paranoid conspiracy theory stuff. Denying that the vaccine is relatively speaking safe also inherently requires you to claim you know better than the tens of thousands of experts who were involved in designing/testing it which is approaching conspiracy thinking too. I can see a good argument for not taking the vaccine if you're young since it could potentially be riskier than COVID itself to you, that was my opinion originally, but I changed my mind and got it because it just didn't seem like something worth sticking my heels into the mud for. If it wasn't safe then there would be some real indication of that by now beyond some rare side effects which are to be expected. If I saw some evidence of the danger of taking it I'd reconsider. Why don't you think it's safe to take?

You'll have to elaborate here because I have no idea what you mean I respect you for that. Unfortunately what you're claiming can hurt people. When asked to justify it you claim you have some evidence but can't be bothered sharing. And then you blame others for not being open minded towards your idea.

Speaking of 'out of window', do you also believe that you can fly if you jump out of one? Willing to try it? No? So closed minded. Unacceptable. *sarcasm*

@Leo Gura Hahahaha, sorry, I was being sarcastic. The real crime was wasting my time mocking someone for having those beliefs in the first place, it isn't worth it, but it is fun

Because Google, of course, is controlled by the same small group of elites looking to make sure you never find out about the mRNA body modifications we're all being injected with designed to destroy our bodies so that we can no longer effectively produce value for them. Obviously. Now there's a good idea for a Gru meme

Jumping off a cliff = certain death Taking COVID-19 vaccine = ???

Beliefs determine your reality. If you believe wholeheartedly in the blackpill, the blackpill will seem like pure truth to you. And the problem is that blackpill reinforces everything that makes you unattractive. So it's self-fulfilling as well. As a guy you have a lot more control over your value than a girl does, the cost for this is that you start with on-average lower value and increasing it requires time and effort. Sure if you're born lucky the effort required is lower, but this applies to literally everything in life. Even if blackpill was 'true' the kind of people drawn into these communities are not people that are going to increase the quality of your life, stay the fuck away

What you will typically see is a lot of guys saying "I wouldn't fuck a fat chick" while girls will say "I want to date a confident charming successful man". If a girl was going about saying "I would never date some nerdy little weakling with no confidence" she probably wouldn't be that well received either. This is pure speculation on my part, but from my general impression on average girls will talk more about finding positive qualities while guys will talk about avoiding negative ones, and that framing on the whole is what creates the dynamic you experience here. I doubt many people would want to chop your head off for saying you want to date girls you're attracted to or who are skinny or in good shape. The one exception to this is when it comes to height perhaps, I'll give you that. But hey, life's not fair. Does this issue really matter that much in the grand scheme? Double standard are everywhere, you're not gonna make them go away.

I mean, sort of. When it comes to money I would pick it, because money has value to me. But the analogy of a bunch of random salespeople peddling shit you don't want or already have is a good one. Like if I was getting messages from a bunch of girls I really wasn't attracted to every day is that really privilege? Sort of, I suppose. I'd rather have that than nothing. But it wouldn't feel all that great. I don't disagree with you, I just don't think it's worth thinking about really. It's not worth your mental energy. That's my overarching point and the only reason I decided to contribute to this thread in the first place

Lol, she isn't attractive before or after. But I suppose that's my own taste. I mean, yea, the majority of guys only have the requirement that a girl is not overweight. But weigh-loss and maintaining a healthy and fit body are not easy tasks for a lot of girls either. Probably pretty equivalent in difficulty to developing an attractive personality as a guy. There's a lot of weird mental shit and insecurity involved in that as well. How would you know it's easier to develop? This is more of that super theoretical and subtly negative thinking shit that doesn't help anyone. There's a good phrase "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die". Like I don't disagree with you on this point necessarily, but it really doesn't help you to think about this extensively This argument shit is honestly the biggest waste of time, and I think it's the biggest trap that incel type guys fall into. Why the fuck do you want to sit and argue about what girls want/like/are attracted to? How does that help you? The irony isn't lost on me, I know that's exactly what I'm doing and really it would be more valuable for me to go and do literally anything else. But I do feel that this highly theoretical thought process about dating is a trap I've fallen into and am starting to escape, which is why I feel compelled to share my experience about this

Yes. But is the rich person wrong when they say that money doesn't make you happy? Not necessarily, it's just a different kind of problem from the one we have

@Striving for more Yea this dating shit can uncover some demons. Sounds like whatever you just read hit home somehow, I've been there. Wish you the best man, if you ever want to talk about some stuff PM me and I'd be happy to talk with you

yea you're right, I was a bit harsh, but my idea still stands. It's essentially a rehash of the grass is always greener. You listed a lot of ways in which women are cruel to men, but there are plenty of ways in which men are just as bad. These are less prevalent to our survival so we are not as aware of them though, that is the point I was making Think about it, women are the weaker sex, aggressively rejecting a guy is not really a great move for them. I'd imagine most rejections happen via ghosting of some kind, and next most by a polite no. If you get an unwarranted insult then sure, that's bad. But I don't imagine it's that common. Someone with more experience can probably confirm that. Good. I think one of the things I've noticed over the past few months when I've been trying to ramp up my socialisation is that my mind loves to spend ages and ages thinking about all these theoretical social situations and if you lack confidence this almost always ends up reinforcing negative and weird unrealistic ideas in your mind. This isn't a problem you're going to solve from your bedroom with intellectualisation, unfortunately for all of us since that's one of the skills we feel most comfortable with. The main reason I'm even participating here is to try and reinforce this idea in my own mind to make me more aware of when I'm doing this and stop it

this right here, this is your problem. you are looking for arguments and reason and logic about dating when really you just need to go outside and be social

Except from the fact that like 80% of the worlds leaders and wealthiest individuals are men, yea. Women have more inherent value, so life can be easier for them in some ways, but they pay for it in others that you simply also lack the empathy to be aware of. Yea but her value could be stuck firmly at a 6, as a guy you have far more control over where you are on the scale but the cost of that is starting lower on average. This is literally in your head, it's painfully obvious you've just theorised this with no real world experience or read other people say it. There's a difference between a bitter incel and say, a normal guy who is just shy, or someone who has an unattractive face. Incels are legit dangerous, the other two there are not. As long as you're not creepy woman will probably be more empathetic towards your struggles than guys will. And you have no empathy for the struggles women might face. You see how easy it is for them to do the things you struggle with and assume that means everything in their life is great. I agree with you, what incels probably need is some love and care and empathy. I usually argue on the side of having empathy for them as well, I just disagree with the particular viewpoint you have of blaming women for any of this. If a guy is repeatedly creepy you can't expect all women to be angelic in how they treat him, he deserves some painful rejections to correct that creepiness.

Yes it is, otherwise you wouldn't care enough to ask in the first place. Use some common sense, they're the physically weaker sex. Or imagine having unattractive traits as a woman, there's far less you can do about it that because many of those traits are inherent. There are also a whole host of stereotypes that generally affect women poorly in day to day life, they're definitely not all gone yet. This is just some bullshit your mind concocted for you right now. I'm not just speaking about this specific question btw, it's the general impression I get from reading all of your posts is that you are way too theoretical. Though, I can see that posting these things here might be cathartic, so if that works for you then you do you. But what you're likely doing is just further reinforcing these random negative musings into your mind even though it makes you feel better

Every time you think of some silly theoretical question like this, ask yourself: will knowing some other people on the internet's opinion on this actually help me attract a girl. You're addicted to these deep dives into theoretical ideas about dating. You need to stop letting your mind ramble on with all these silly theoretical ideas about how the typical woman acts. It's like trying to learn a martial art by reading someone else's descriptions of the moves online. It's dumb as fuck, and I know because I do it too and then realise I've wasted 30mins of my day reading shitty threads like this that end up offering me next to no value whatsoever. I'm still too much of a pussy to approach as much as I'd like but dear god I can see immediately that you spend way too much time thinking about this and looking for other people's opinions on it online. There is some basic theory you can get from places like this that will help you, but incredibly specific questions like this are 90% your mind performing mental gymnastics and tricking you into thinking you're growing when you're just wasting time

@Karmadhi You sound kinda toxic. I can't put my finger on why. I think you've spent far too much time in your head thinking about these things, because I notice myself having similar thoughts to you during periods of time where I've done that. Especially negative thoughts and broad generalisations, your mind is great at generating them for you and convincing you that they're true.

That's good. But my point was to offer a male perspective in terms of how this guy may interpret your actions. From his perspective, he may be thinking that you're going to demand more of his attention than he wishes to give. From what I can tell, commitment is often a man's bargaining chip in the dating world. Don't expect him to give it up so easily, in the same way you require a lot of criteria to be met before you'll sleep with a guy.